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Page no : 2

aflatoon dash (health)     06 October 2010

No you dont have to provve your wife as charectorless to get the custody of child.I am hundred % sure that judges will not like it if your allegestions are such.

  1. Prove that she has deviant parneting skills( tempera
  2. Prove that childs health and grades have suffered in your absence
  3. Prove that you were agood father and child had incident free childhood when he was with you.
  4. prove that you were involved in his birth/vaccination /care /upbringing and excerricular activities.
  5. prove that her family enviornment is not conducive alcoholism/DV/absence of proper role model

Usually judges maintain status quo and dont disturb the child..

Be thick skinned stand up and fight for your child.


Kunal Mukherjee (Father)     06 November 2010

It is sad that "researchers" and "practising advocates" in our country have developed such a biased and parochial outlook ... gender wars will decimate our own children. When will we understand that ?

hedevil hydraheaded (non professional )     06 November 2010

I suppose your own outlook is very biased Mr. Kunal. 

Gender Wars--this is your vocabulary...

The peace vocabulary is gender equity and gender justice which depends on gender equity. 

Gender cuts across ethnicity, and caste and class as many of us know. 

When I read Renukaji 's thread I found in her posting a refreshing where she has opposed shared parenting but she has given her own reasoning which is eqally convincing to me--yes I being a man. For my child I would restore healthy communication with my wife to have the benefits of shared parenting, and the same should apply to the other party. 

I wonder how come you are picking on only gender researcher and some specific advocates. Not long ago some people had raised doubt about the thread started by neverabuseme, and this person never criticised anyone in particular....

Dosto ab inki sudden appearance ka raj kya hai....

Keep it up friend. People here are not fools....and people have as much right to voice their opinion as you are exercising your right now....

Kunal Mukherjee (Father)     06 November 2010

After over 5 years of spending more time with the Indian legal system than ordinary citizens should have to, I must respond to your opinion asking "Who is this Renukaji you are referring to ?"

I am also tempted to ask -

1. Was your 5 year old son surreptitiously removed from your house by his mother when you were away on a business tour ?

2. Did the Court pass an ex-parte injunction, while you were still on the business tour, restraining you from coming anywhere near your own son till further orders ?

3. Did you have to petition the Court (and contest hearings that dragged on and on and on) repeatedly to allow your 5 year old son to come and meet his dying grandfather who was terminal when his only grandson was taken away by his mother ?

4. Did you have to go into hiding - leaving your recently widowed septugenarian mother to fend for herself - when police from various police stations started visiting your house / office etc. to take you in for "questioning" ?

5. Did you find out (too late) that your lawyer had actually joined hands with the extremely powerful 'other side' to frame an interim visitation agreement that benefitted none but the dear wife ?

6. Did you have to run from pillar to post to identify witnesses and find evidence that could support your claim that you actually had been a loving father ?

7. Did you, over the following years, have to learn to decode the sign-language that passed from mother to son at every visitation and watch your intelligent, clever child slowly turn into a puppet ?

8. Did you ever face situations where your son, called to Judge's chambers, went in shivering with fright and delivered lines that translated to hybrids of different complaints his mother had recorded in her petitiones - evidently his tutoring was not so perfect ?

9. Did you ever discover that your wife of 7 years was actually a distant relative of an Apex Court Judge and was able to continue manipulating the entire system which you have approached for JUST-ICE ?

10. Did you realise that you silently pray for the well-being of your son's custodian mother despite all this because the Indian legal system finds the blindfold more compelling than the balance ?

These have taught me to read between lines, feel the vibes from authors .... more a curse than a gift. You choose to believe that gender-wars is fiction ? Believe me, not just I but the entire human race will be delighted IF you are right and I am wrong.

hedevil hydraheaded (non professional )     06 November 2010


Mr. Kunal I am so sorry to read what has happened with you. It in fact brought tears to my eyes. But I think your experience should not malign someone who is on the forum just because she is a woman and she research in the field of gender. We all have our profession. I like her postings because her postings never said that men are bad. In fact none of the women in this forum has said so, this from the threads I have read so far. 

The same experience which you have gone through a woman also may go through, and in all probability must be going through. I cannot answer who  Renuka Gupta is, I know her as much as I know you and other members of this forum.  But I did find some of her postings very sensible and here anyone can write in support of the views one agrees. Like your postings also would have some responses from others. 

I wish you get to see your child and your wife starts understanding sooner than later that revengeful attitude from either parent can affect the growth of the child. I do not know what you mean to say when you say  you read between the lines. That may do injustice to someone who you do not even know and by ignoring his/her reality.  We do not know each other personally on this forum, it is just that we feel affinity to some postings and we reply positively to those postings. As I was going through the threads I have realised this woman called Renuka Gupta has been maligned and ridiculed  by many. But she has continued, but I find some of the women who had participated never appeared anymore. I also realised there has been lot of abusive terms used for women and lot of propaganda against women who  talked assertively and clearly.. It is not gender war. It is just that we are generalising our individual experiences. 

I bow before your anguish and anger both. I have nothing more to say excepting that I pray for the speedy reunion of yours with your little child. God bless your child. 

Kunal Mukherjee (Father)     06 November 2010

Thank you but please understand that I have neither intended to, nor strived to malign any individual on this forum. If you have formed such impression kindly correct it.

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