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Kabir (SE)     10 November 2015

My wife has habit of asking mutual divorce

The marriage is failed in from last 3 yrs. I am abroad and my wife is staying with my mother with force in the hope that I will return to mother place and she will catch hold me for same kind of mental trauma.

 
One thing I noticed that she does ask mutual divorce everytime you talk to her but the condition is that i need to come back to country. Basically what i feel  that she is playing with me on this. However, My questions is - Can I some how create a strong case against her for repeated mutual divorce thus I am failing for divorce as marriage has been broken down?
 
Will her asking MCD everything will help me to get rid of alimony debt?


Learning

 10 Replies

srk (Service)     10 November 2015

Kabir, 

i am no expert, but i am dealing with a 498a wife, i think your wife is trying to get you to india and then file a case, impound you passport, get you arrested and then come to a settlement with you, as you will be vulnerable at that point of time, if the cops and lawyers know that you need to go abroad for job then they will start their own game of extorting money from you. if she really wants a divorce she can go for an exparte.

try to get your mother out of this, start collecting evidence, record phone calls, get someone to record video when she is with your mother her not knowing. that might help you

All the best 

Raj

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     10 November 2015

Are U too not responsible for her behaviour? Staying away from her naturally gives her a sense of isolation.Don't break the marriage for silly things.Try to counsel her and try to be with her,which could bring a change in her mental attitude.I can recommend legal solution,but UR case is not fit for it.

Anil Upadhyay (Lawyer)     10 November 2015

Agreed with Mr. Sainath, you seems responsible in escalating small issues. You can put efforts to save your marriage and be clear in your mind that, If she want to get hold, then she had already initiated legal actions under IPC and DV against all of you. Legal actions are enough to force you to come back for your family.

Still you are in condition where your wife is with your mother and not making any legal seen, try to sort it out.

.

Thanks..

Rahul Choudhary   12 November 2015

Hi Sainath Sir

I have similar case to Kabir. My wife is also asking me mutual divorce and I live abroad. Now you suggested that once in India she can file some cases. I heard first court will give me notice and then the judicial custody procedure can be started.

 

I have same concern if I come to India what are the chances of harasment by police incase she files a DV case? And if she does how to avoid?

I also heard that I can file the first motion from abroad? Is it possible that we can also ask her to sign the affidavit to no domestic voilence has been performed on her and she is not claiming any alimony?

Once we file first motion and she sign all the above affidavits and present to court then when I come to India for second and final motion can she file the DV and I get arrested?

Also if she does do they take my passport and I can't leave India?

Thanks

Rahul

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     12 November 2015

Mr.Rahul U should have posted a separate thread instead of intruding into this one,but any way in DV and 498 A cases you won't be arrested immediately.the SC has laid down detailed guidelines to prevent harassment of husbands and his family members.In case a prima facie is made out U can be arrested.

First concentrate on these things rather  than on the motiions of the court.

 

 

Mukesh sharma (job )     15 December 2015

i agree with sainath sir as your case if your wife ask to give you mutul divourse than you want to give him time and talk with your wife why he want divourse you know you live in abroad for last three year and he live here alone so she need you talk with her freely and understand you save your ,marriage life dont go in court your issue not so big plz understand and talk with your wife 

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     17 December 2015

I will give the same advice that I gave to @rhea, a woman, on a similar issue posted on this site. I will add some flavor based upon the facts of your case. You say that your marriage has failed. What is your definition of this "failure?" It may not be a failure at all and you may be jumping to conclusions. Also, alimony is your responsibility, whether you like it or not.  You cannot get rid of it just like that. It is not possible under the law and certainly not permitted morally. Of course, by the same token, women who are educated and capable of working and earning do not deserve any also. 


At this time she has not taken any legal action. Do not initiate one yourself either. Issues like this need to be worked out in person, not over the phone. She is rightly frustrated by your absence. As pointed above, there does not seem to a REAL problem in your marriage. Do not complicate it. Keep the issues simple. Law is the last thing you should resort to in such trivial matters or initial stage of disagreement. Have a sense of humor when you talk to her. It will cool her down!!! Hope you are not doing anything immoral or improper behind her back that motivates you to get rid of her.

Mukesh sharma (job )     17 December 2015

i agree with you samir 

as i think kabir need ti talk with his wife and solve problem no need to go in court its long process and he also live single without him long time so she need kabir hope he meet than life on move well so do good 

jaig   24 December 2015

I am not lawyer, so mine is not legal advice though.
I see you have got varies responses about whether to go court or not. In marital issues this dilemma is always there, and men mostly hope things would sort out without going court.

I advice is, you do not know which will be the right choice for you tomorrow, or whether you'll have that choice at all, for that matter. But you should prepare and equip yourself, no matter what. Keep working on collecting those evidences, dont stop that. Try to sort out thing with your wife, but keep record of phone call at every step - invest on gadgets (hidden cam, mic etc.), it can be life saver - think of it as life insurance :) It's cheap when you are healthy, but when you are going to die nobody will give you that !

I am in the battle, and I can advise you: court battle is not won by those who who come crying being defeated outside court, but those who come equipped with evidences - so strong to blow your opponent out. In my case I started piling up evidences since the first day my wife expressed our marriage was not working for her. Today I possess plethora of evidences to disprove her every allegation against me beyond doubt. Tiny investments like a call-recorder app made my life easy. And I am enjoying my battle today.
Similarly, you might not have to go to court, but ensure if you have to, you can easily win.

There is a saying: Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     24 December 2015

I presume the reply by Mr.Jaig is quite sensible.


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