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Mental harassment by dil

Page no : 2

SuperHero (Manager)     02 September 2015

@ I walk Alone - We can't control anyone in a Family. We can teach or guide them if the other person is able to listen and if he wants to change. 

@ Born Fighter - I agree with you. Typical SAAS might be impossible now a days.

 

minal (admin)     02 September 2015

Den y dese girls befor marriage comit that  I know mom you hav wrked a lot I will adjust with what ever it is. wil mek u happy. and after marriage they say they want space? this is an arranged marriage and every thing was open

SuperHero (Manager)     02 September 2015

In my Opinion. Because of Western influence on our culture and traditions, Technology, Media, Phones and the last one is DESIRE.

Also Some Women think, they want Freedom because they are earning money or rich. And that leads to Arrogance and Adamant.

The moment there is a dispute/disagreement between Husband and Wife then immediately Wife packs up the suitcase goes to Friends house or there Parents house. 

 Also in India the Laws favor Women. 

At the Same time. Some Men want Women to be as a door mat or cook and so on... It all depends.

If a Person gets a Good Wife then he is lucky else he will become WISE.

 

Born Fighter (xxx)     02 September 2015

What happens when a Manager working in an MNC takes up a job in a small company at lower designation and pay package ??? How long will he continue with the new job ??

 

The same thing has happened with Minalji''s daughter-in-law. The unrest with the status mismatch and environment with unexpected treatment to her is creating unrest in dil's mind. 

 

Daughters are equal to boys however there are many indian families where the daughter is pampered more than a boy and they do it to protect them and grow them/make them feel at par with boys. There is nothing wrong but in the process the girls get so over pampered that they get rigid and rebellious (beyond tolerable limits). They cant take a NO for anything they expect/want. Adjustment is not a word in their dictionary.  The Parents of such a girl when they look for a guy completely ignore the fact that the daughter would need the same pampering and comforts from the in-laws.

 

The parents of girl forget the fact that one day the daughter will leave them and will have to live her life in a completely new environment/people & will have to adjust there . But contrary but what happens after marriage is a complete mismatch of expectations and with continous interference of girls parents , the dil's marital life gets hell n finally she walks out of the husbands house and rather than realizing it was a mismatch/incompatability from hers/both sides , think they were harrassed and have right to take revenge. Then follows DV/498A and here the parents of daughter think how come the husbands parents behave so badly with their princess!!!!

 

Its not only the girl/ girls parents who do a mistake but equally the boy/his family who thinks the boy is lucky to get married to a girl with higher status/ qualification.

 

Apart, Marriage anyways is a GAMBLE, its luck or fate !!

 

 

 

 

 

minal (admin)     03 September 2015

Yes I completely agree wid u.but dis girl n her parents wud hav completely discussed all dese expectations before mariage as we discussed our expectations. It is like they hav unknowingly trapd us. Evn my son says he did nt xpct such a wife n wants to get rid f her. But she must leave on her own.if we get separated it wud be difficult but if we stay together she may leave on her own. Kindly suggest.

minal (admin)     03 September 2015

she will cme back tomoro. we cnt understn how to behav wid her. shall we ask her the daily wrk wich she comited to do before or shal we stay num. how shal my son behav as as of now both of them are nt talkin to each other. 

Born Fighter (xxx)     03 September 2015

Minalji, ur more experienced than us. Do you think your dil promised certain things/behaviour to cheat you ? I dont think so, what will she get if she goes for a divorce considering your situation  ??

 

People change with situations/circumstances. Marriage is like chaar din ki chandni. Once the honeymoon period is over, the reality peps up and then starts normal life. The real side of partners come up and with changed circimstances/ego's/interferences the relationship starts losing its charm. 

Either your son or your daughter needs to take a step back and initiate a patch up. Leave ego's aside. If you really want to see your son happy do this as a last resort by initiating a patch up between them and see where things go. 

When you soften up, your dil will open up and tell you what she needs to make things work. Then take next steps.

 

 

 

minal (admin)     09 September 2015

U ppl r giving me wrng advice. We adjusted a lot fr 3 mnths n nwe we dn care. Her parents hav no right to CME n harass my family neither she has . she new she must adjust herself or else she has to get lost.

minal (admin)     09 September 2015

I also got one diary of her where she has mentioned that she wants my son to be independent

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