I am a 29 y.o. guy from Calcutta, in relationship with a 31 y.o divorced woman for 2.5 years. We both are currently well employed in our respective field, and aren't financially dependent on any members of our respective family.
My girlfriend was in a very abusive relationship earlier, which was marked by constant physical torture. Unable to bear the burnt of it every-day post marriage, she decided to call off the relationship.I respect this decision of hers, her past and intend to go ahead and marry her.
But my mother who happens to be a Doctor and has herself suffered abuse at the hands of my father [which later culminated in a bitter divorce which my father took], is DEAD AGAINST this decision. She is 59 y.o. now and though I take care of her in every possible way both financially and emotionally, she has not been lending an ear to any sane advice as of now. She feels Divorce is a Sin and who soever woman takes a divorce from her husband lacks character and integrity . She is of the opinion that if there is a abusive relationship between husband and wife....the wife should protest but not leave her husband. She compares husband - wife to brother - sister, and says that "why brothers and sisters don't take a legal separation even if the brother beats the sister "sometimes"". She feels that, the girl is not "FRESH" and is a "2nd hand" entity so should not marry a "1st hand" boy. I have tried to quell any fears she has of me, separating from her after marriage or in future in many ways, but nothing seems to work. She has been very abusive [verbally] in context to the girl, and when I protest she gets very agitated and abuses her even more.
Nevertheless, I have decided to go ahead with the marriage, since I believe this life choice is entirely my right. But my mom, from her contacts has come to know of the girl's parent's whereabouts and has been constantly threatening me that, she will go to their place abuse them in-front of other people, will use any physical force against them, if I don't leave that PROSTITUTE [that what she calls my girl-friend these days]. She has even threatened me that she'll burn my girl-friend's face or stab her to death, even if it takes her to jail.
I have been going through this abuse at the hands of my mother, and despite my requests no one is trying to talk her out of this. Most of the people are encouraging her to go ahead and "save her son".
I am very tensed thinking of what would happen if she goes ahead and abuses the girl's parents, they are in their mid 60's and are very timid people & as far as I know they would not be able to defend themselves verbally or physically. I am more scared of their safety, I cant make them leave their house and go in hiding because I don't want them to suffer like nomads for any decision of mine. And I can't leave that girl because that would be ethically and morally incorrect.
So what can I do no to mitigate this issue which has ruined my peace.
Please help !!