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ST1978 (IT Professional)     18 February 2014

Male contested divorce help

I am the husband. I have been staying with my wife for last 9 years. We had an arranged marriage, which falls under Hindu marriage. We separated from my parents 5 years ago over disputes between my wife and my parents. While getting separated, my parents bought a house for us, which was put on my wife's name. My parents also helped us setup a cyber cafe for my wife and I was in jobs intermittently since then. Now, we have 2 kids, my wife and self staying in that house for last 4 years, with cyber cafe as primary source of income as my job is not stable.

In last 4 years, the cruelty and rudeness of my wife has gone far too much.

- She gets into argument with me whenever I go to visit my ailing parents. My father has undergone 3 angio plasty (heart patient) and my mom is badly down with artheritis and thus cannot walk. They stay alone. My elder brother is in UK. I am the only other son in India. My sisters are married. My parents at time are even unable to cook food and do other houseold chores due to sickness but my wife still does not want me to visit them whatsoever. I have been in a lot of self disgrace over this. On one hand my family and on other hand my parents. Most of the time it is my sisters who come to help my parents and stay for day altogether.

- My parents keep waiting to see my kids. They have not seen them at all. My wife does not want me to take my kids to my parents even for a few minutes. My parent stay just 30 min away from my home but still my wife does not permit me at all nor she lets me take the kids. Once I tried to escape with kids to show them to my parents but then she followed me at my parents home and insulted my parents so much that I felt like killing her. I did not go to my home for a few days after that and slept at my friends house before returning to my wife and kids. Shameless me I really could not do anything despite seeing my parents weep because of this heartless wife.

- My father is retired and has pension. They also have rental income. But all that is just sufficient to survive. They do not have enough money to go to my sisters place or even join other old people of their age to go on tours to pass their time. I want to help them with some money whatsoever little amount but then my wife is totally against it. On the other hand, the money from my cyber cafe is mostly used by my wife's sistes and parents. My home and cafe is 1 min away from my wife's parents home. Most of the time, it is my wife's sisters and parents who take the decision and run the show for me. My wife is happy to fund her sisters and parents for their needs but does not give a penny to my old parents.

 

All the above reasons and lack of stable job, has got me into a lot of stress and thus into drinking habbit, honestly.

 

Now, things have gone so worst that recently when I asked my original documents to go for interview then we went into an argument and she called Police. I had to stay in locker for the night. Since then I have left home and staying away in isolation, all prepared to get separated from her. She is now black mailing me via my friends that she will file a case against my parents and me for domestic violence. She says that she is happy to stay separate but will not give divorce.

 

My query is:

1) Whether the above grounds are good enough to prove cruelty and thus get contested divorce?

2) How can I ensure that my sick parents are not tortured for this? I have asked my parents to put an application in court to separate me from themselves and their property but is there any other protection that my parents can get from that monster wife? I can't see my parents getting tortured for all this. I am OK to go jail even if she gets that done but not my parents.

 

Please help.

 

Meerut City \ UP



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 12 Replies


(Guest)
Originally posted by : ST1978


I am the husband. I have been staying with my wife for last 9 years. We had an arranged marriage, which falls under Hindu marriage. We separated from my parents 5 years ago over disputes between my wife and my parents. While getting separated, my parents bought a house for us, which was put on my wife's name. My parents also helped us setup a cyber cafe for my wife and I was in jobs intermittently since then. Now, we have 2 kids, my wife and self staying in that house for last 4 years, with cyber cafe as primary source of income as my job is not stable.

After 9 years and 2 kids, you should not be thinking of divorce.  If you were without kids, then definitley what all you are undergoing is not agreeable at any cost, but as you are having kids, try to adjust for the sake of the kids.  Even if you pursue divorce, and there are plenty reasons for you asking divorce, there will be another headache of gaurdian rights of the children, and that gaurdian and ward case will get take lot of time to get over, same holds good for divorce case [5-6 years].

 


In last 4 years, the cruelty and rudeness of my wife has gone far too much.

- She gets into argument with me whenever I go to visit my ailing parents. My father has undergone 3 angio plasty (heart patient) and my mom is badly down with artheritis and thus cannot walk. They stay alone. My elder brother is in UK. I am the only other son in India. My sisters are married. My parents at time are even unable to cook food and do other houseold chores due to sickness but my wife still does not want me to visit them whatsoever. I have been in a lot of self disgrace over this. On one hand my family and on other hand my parents. Most of the time it is my sisters who come to help my parents and stay for day altogether.

- My parents keep waiting to see my kids. They have not seen them at all. My wife does not want me to take my kids to my parents even for a few minutes. My parent stay just 30 min away from my home but still my wife does not permit me at all nor she lets me take the kids. Once I tried to escape with kids to show them to my parents but then she followed me at my parents home and insulted my parents so much that I felt like killing her. I did not go to my home for a few days after that and slept at my friends house before returning to my wife and kids. Shameless me I really could not do anything despite seeing my parents weep because of this heartless wife.

- My father is retired and has pension. They also have rental income. But all that is just sufficient to survive. They do not have enough money to go to my sisters place or even join other old people of their age to go on tours to pass their time. I want to help them with some money whatsoever little amount but then my wife is totally against it. On the other hand, the money from my cyber cafe is mostly used by my wife's sistes and parents. My home and cafe is 1 min away from my wife's parents home. Most of the time, it is my wife's sisters and parents who take the decision and run the show for me. My wife is happy to fund her sisters and parents for their needs but does not give a penny to my old parents.

 

All the above reasons and lack of stable job, has got me into a lot of stress and thus into drinking habbit, honestly.

 You tell you are not in good finalcial condition, and you say you got drinking habit???  Drinking is no solutoin to any problem.  You have let looooooooooose your wife to dance around you for a very long time now, and such ladies wont mend their ways so easily.  The chances of her mending her ways are equal to zero.  Its better to dance to  her tunes for sake of your kids future, than go to court seeking divorce which you will easily not get, and not to forget umpteen number of cases which she can file against you in court of law to harass you and your aged parents.

Now, things have gone so worst that recently when I asked my original documents to go for interview then we went into an argument and she called Police. I had to stay in locker for the night. Since then I have left home and staying away in isolation, all prepared to get separated from her. She is now black mailing me via my friends that she will file a case against my parents and me for domestic violence. She says that she is happy to stay separate but will not give divorce.

 

My query is:

1) Whether the above grounds are good enough to prove cruelty and thus get contested divorce?

There are many instances of mental cruelty meted out on you.  But all that have to be proved in court.

2) How can I ensure that my sick parents are not tortured for this? I have asked my parents to put an application in court to separate me from themselves and their property but is there any other protection that my parents can get from that monster wife? I can't see my parents getting tortured for all this. I am OK to go jail even if she gets that done but not my parents.

If property owned by them is self-earned property, then your parents are saved by say 90%, but if the said property is ancestral then your parents and you will surely be in lot of trouble. 

Your parents disowning you wont do any good.  But you will have to think about what you will do with said property.  You have not explained anything about ownership of the property as to self earned or ancestral to answer further qureries which may arise.
 

Please help.

 

Meerut City \ UP

1 Like

ST1978 (IT Professional)     18 February 2014

All property is self earned by parents. Ancestral has been sold off 4 years ago and my share was used to buy the home.

(Guest)

As the property is self earned.  Your wife cannot barge into the premises and insist that she wont go from there.


At most she will get ex-parte orders u/s 23 of DV act for residence, but then you should not be found at such premises, or else she can tell that, as my husband is staying with my inlaws I will also stay.  As either are not the case here.  You need not worry about your parents getting harrassed by your wife.  At the most she can get orders for you paying her monthly rent, if you have not provided any place for her to stay [here too exparte orders can be passed stating you pay her rent, but those to can be challenged in upper courts.

1 Like

ST1978 (IT Professional)     18 February 2014

But, she is staying in a house that is bought for her by my parents from my share of ansectoral property. In that house, I am not staying any more (she is with the kids) and I am not staying with my parents either. For do I still need to pay any rent etc. in fact she has that cafe business with her and I am still looking for a job.

(Guest)
Originally posted by : ST1978
But, she is staying in a house that is bought for her by my parents from my share of ansectoral property. In that house, I am not staying any more (she is with the kids) and I am not staying with my parents either.

For do I still need to pay any rent etc. in fact she has that cafe business with her and I am still looking for a job.

If she has share in the house, she cannot claim rent from you.  You should also show to the court that she is a capable of earning.  This much done, and you need not worry about paying her any money.

1 Like

Biswanath Roy (Advocate)     19 February 2014

Engage a female PSYCHIATRIST for counselling and indoctrination of your wife.

1 Like

ST1978 (IT Professional)     19 February 2014

Thanks for all your help. I am no rush to divorce. If it takes 5 to 6 years then let it be.

 

My immediate concerns are:

1) She should not be able to trouble my parents by court cases etc. Per your responses, I feel a bit comfortable here.

2) Now that I have started to stay separate from her (and from my parents), what all court cases can she file aginst me? This is still open, please advise. 

ST1978 (IT Professional)     19 February 2014

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Engage a female PSYCHIATRIST for counselling and indoctrination of your wife.


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thanks but I am pretty sure, due to the level of interference from her parents and her sisters in my married life..I am sure she will never go for that and on top of that if I visit her back then I might be for sure behind the bars for all the wrong reasons and court cases.

 

My father in law called me to warn me to be at home ASAP or else face the worst. I am not a slave and not going back in that hell.

 

If you know of a good lawyer in Meerut then please suggest.

ST1978 (IT Professional)     20 February 2014

What if I do not file for a divorce but stay with my parents in a rented apartment for months \ years, might be that after staying away for long period she might (big "might" though) get some common sense back and let me take care of both my parents and my family (kids and wife)?

 

Could she put my parents into trouble in such case for me staying with them?

 

what cases can she file against me for that?

Biswanath Roy (Advocate)     20 February 2014

Don't afraid of court cases ,God forbids if such situation comes face the consequences boldly as a HE MAN.   Stay with your ailing parents and take care of them. Don't you worry I am by your side always.

                                                                                                                                     Sd/- B. N. Roy, Senior Advocate.

1 Like

great india (manager)     24 February 2014

1. Long time back helping hand advised a POOJA to be done of such females. How you tolerated such years. 2. You can shift anywhere you want to but it needs to be justified in court. 3. You can file a divorce ....good for you and sit back calmly not expecting results soon but maintenance to spouse b kids if demanded by opp.party needs to be paid 4. These points can be well argued and defended in court, if you have wastable time+ patience+ energy.... Welcome to indian courts..... 5. If no......stop drinking and start helping you parents be a man and get some courage to stand with a bare chest......against the cruel.
1 Like

nikhil singh (Advocate)     25 February 2014

Don't do anything or plan to do anything quickley. Start collecting evidence as much as you can. Ther is nothing to worry for your parents as you had from them quite long. So your parents are out of sec 498A IPC but not completely. If your wife is ready to give you divorce then in that case you don't need to prove anything. Otherwise these are enough grounds for proving crutely for divorce, but all the grounds need to be proved and for the same you require evidence so start collecting from today and how you have to collect it that i can tell you on phone. 09352444446 Law-Consults.  


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