live in with my boyfriend

NANDKUMAR B.SAWANT.M.COM.LL.B.(MUMBAI),ADVOCATE

MOBILE.09960223100,09271971251

e.mail.nandkumarbs@sify.com

e.mail.advocatesawantnb@yahoo.com

REGARDING STAY IN HOTEL OR AT BOYFRIENDS HOUSE BY UNMARRIED GIRL,KINDLY NOTE THAT.

1.AS YOU ARE A MAJOR PERSON YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOOD AND WHAT IS BAD FOR YOU.YOU CAN TAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS.BUT KINDLY NOTE THAT THOUGH AT THIS STAGE OF LIFE YOU MAY FIND IT VERY EASY BUT IT MAY CREATE PROBLEMS FOR YOUR FUTURE MARRIED LIFE.PLEASE NOTE.

2.AS FAR AS STAY IN HOTEL WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND IS CONCERNED, KINDLY NOTE THAT ALMOST ALL HOTELS ARE ASKING FOR IDENTY PROOF OF BOY AS WELL AS GIRL RESIDING AT THEIR HOTEL OR RENTED PREMICES.KINDLY NOTE THAT POLICE DEPT IS ALSO KEEPING CROSS CHECK ON THE SAME.

3HENCE IN Y0UR OWN INTEREST IT IS ADVISIBLE THAT YOU ARE HIGHLY QUALIFIED GIRL AND YOU HAVE YOUR FUTURE LIFE AND CAREER AHEAD, SO KINDLY THINK SERIOUSLY AS IT MAY DEFAME YOU AND YOU MAY FIND IT DIFFICULT TO GET RESIDENTIAL ACCOMODATION IN A REPUTED RESIDENTIAL SOCIETIES WHERE SEVERAL MEMBERS ARE RESIDING WITH THEIR FAMILIES INCLUDING MINOR GIRLS AND UNMARRIED DAUGHTERS.THEY MAY OBJECT FOR YOUR STAY IN THE SAID SOCIETY.

4.KINDLY FURTHER NOTE THAT IN CASE POLICE DEPT COMES TO THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU BOTH ARE UNMARRIED AND RESIDING TOGETHER THEN, SOME UNKNOWN CRIMINAL MINDED PEOPLE ALSO WILL TRY TO TAKE UNDUE ADVANTAGE OF THIS INFORMATION AND MAY HARASS YOU IN FUTURE .YOU MAY GET INVOLVE IN BLACK MAILING BY THE CRIMINAL MINDED PEOPLE PLEASE NOT.

HENCE IN YOUR OWN INTEREST AS YOU ARE AN UNMARRIED GIRL AND MUST BE HAVING YOUR FAMILY INCLUDING OLD PARENTS AND SISTERS AND BROTHER,I ADVISE YOU TO THINK SERIOUSLY AND CONSULT FAMILY MEMBERS AND KINDLY DO NOT EXCEED THE LIMIT OF FREEDOM GIVEN BY CONSTITUTION OF INDIA ,AS YOU MAY BE AT THE LOOSERS END IN YOUR FUTURE LIFE.PLEASE NOTE.

OF COURSE THIS IS JUST OPENION FOR YOUR OWN INTEREST,KINDLY THINK SERIOUSLY AND TAKE YOUR OWN DECISION.GOOD LUCK.

IN CASE YOU NEED ANY FURTHER HELP KINDLY WRITE AND SEND DETAILS WILL HELP YOU.GOOD LUCK.

REGARDS TO ALL.

NANDKUMAR .B.SAWANT.M.COM.LL.B.(MUMBAI),ADVOCATE

MOBILE.09960223100, 09271971251

e.mail.nandkumarbs@sify.com

e.mail.advocatesawantnb@yahoo.com.

The hottest thread which started and never ends that is

Payel Deb

04 November 2010, 00:25

Software Engineer 

Congratulation!

This thread will be helpful to younger generatuon who at this stage of life more practical towards life.But take care of following things:

Younger generation is more practical than older generation

For

• They are optimistic and ambitious.
• Earlier on, people fell easily for emotions whether it was for family or friends. Today’s youth can equally balance emotions.
• Science has made life very easy for the generation today. Accessing someone today isn’t as difficult as it was earlier, when people relied on telegrams!
• Even though the younger lot is considered to be impatient, their impatience is because they don’t want to waste time.
• The young generation wishes to explore all possible horizons.
• Thanks to the social networking sites, younger generation is more enterprising. Their ides are practical.
• Due to the adverse competition, their practical perspective leaves with no time for ethical issues like ego, arrogance, emotions etc.

Against

• Most of the times over smartness shown by youngsters put them in trouble.
• Older generation has seen life and hence they know the pros and cons of every situation. They have a natural ability to do so.
• Older generation can better judge people since they have met so many in their life.
• Due to their over practical nature, it puts them more in depression and hence suicide rates are more.
• It is seen that most of the crimes are committed by the younger generation who get influences from TV and cinema.
• At times the greed of money and publicity makes them do something they are not supposed to.
• Older generation being more practical and intelligent can easily point out the difference between wrong and right.

this seems to be hottest topic on LCI

" HOW STUPID! SO How is DV benefitting a wife WHO'S RIDDEN WITH ABOVE PROBLEMS?? "

- a wife  is not in question, -  but a woman is in question.

as a womam, a wife can take the advantage, but not as a wife but as a woman.

we must have to note that no special status given to a wife  - in constitution

parliament rectified itself , the blunder they did in - 498a.

sorry,

the above post of mine is for another thread.

@ NANDKUMAR Sir: sir, i highly appreciate ur points and ur advises. Definitely u said truth. But i dont think in modern INDIA people interferes so much about what others are doing. Though moral values matters for some people....but we only define our morality....As long as i know what is good for me & what is wrong, society should not interfere in it.People should live a life with their own desires and individualistic measures rather than on what society thinks, as the time progresses, we should be concentrating on ourselves.....society values are 2nd preferred after individualism satisfied. In developed portions of our country and also foreign people do not interfere in others life so much. I think individual is important rather than a "society". A society depends on and formed by civilians. But if u look at todays India, and if u refer to surveys, u will certainly see that people no more awaits  society approval and do not willing to abide by certain meaning less rules.A democracy perhaps, implies that people should be happy after all.There is no point by closing ones happiness by providing some disgusting rules. In case of relation break ups, u have to move on in ur life. Its better to inform ur  partner about ur past briefly, so no misunderstandings will occur. Today u cant expect that ur partner never had an affair, and u r the first special one in her/his life.It is that we can expect him/her to be loyal as long as he/she is with u.But u cant change his/her past and one have to accept this.U have to be faithful to ur partner as long as a relationship is there, but that doesnt mean that u cant move on in ur life later if the relationship doesnt worked out.There must be a personal space in everybodies life and as long as i am concerned, i dont approve society to apply rules on me, i will abide by my own instincts and my own values.Future India thinks like that only..There are several cases that u dont know cause everybody is not gonna posting threads here. I am confident about what i am doing,so for discussing legal cases posted this thread.I appreciate ur points sir, but there is nothing like my activities will bar me from staying in a society with odd valueless values.I am staying in a good HIG colony and nobody bothers about what others doing. I dont think i did something so wrong. I live a life that i am happy and i dnt like to live a life that prevents me from happiness.Come on, we r democratic Indians and should live a life that makes us happy, nor that one complicated with nonsense social/moral values preventing us from our lines to live.

@Mr. Arup: Thank u for being always a support to me.

Well I partially agree with with what payal has to say about society not allowed to dictate terms to individuals in their way of life. With the right intention, its the individuals choice ..However, its easier to say this rather than practice it in real life. You are an exception. I kid you not. My friend who is in hotel management was assigned the project of collecting data of the kinds of customers in 3 star hotels. NOT ONE of the customer was willing to come on record. Reason? 80 percent of the people were either a hidden couple or were cheating or were professionals. Though its indeed healthy to question the societal values, individualism at the other extreme is undesirable as it lacks the cohesiveness of a societal structure.... which is very important to form public opinion on important issues affecting the society. To use an extreme example, If we left individuals to act whatever makes them happy or what they feel is right. bride burning, domestic violence would never be an issue.
Of course, its a personal choice between a couple about the decisions they take. But as i said, yours is an exception. For every case like yours, I have scores of others where girls have been cheated, videotaped, blackmailed and raped byu their very own boyfriends... or worse, looted by the policemen to avoid embarassement in front of the family. We can always say that the girl should hve been more careful or the boy should be punished severly, but had it not been for societal pressure, there would have been more promiscuity than there already is. Dont believe me..just visit the scores of cottages in borivli gorai that rent out huts by the hour.... So either extreme is undesirable....

Of course, whenever we talk  about society, there can never be a permanent and definite solution. No society or its rules have been perfect at any point in history. The desire of an individual to make choices in his/her life will almost always at some point, conflict with societal norms of the time. No matter how much i agree, my mom would never agree or like the fact that i would spend a night with some girl in a hotel room. No matter how nice and decent that girl is. Its just how we are... time lagega ... BTW, i am 27 so i am kinda counting myself as the future INdia.. why not... if we can have a 40 year old congress leader as the next generation youth icon... LOL

I second tushar's wise and practical views..

@lpo: I think u misunderstood individualism with society concerns. I am not telling that the facts u said are wrong. I agree with that. But the thing is being afraid of policemen or society we cant bury our happiness and enjoyment. If they r creating trouble, we should face them instead of giving them the upperhand of blackmailing.  A person should live a life of his/her own choice rather than living on society/moral dictated terms.Those moral policing is a stupid issue now a days. U can refer to mangalore pub incident by some moral activists. The people supporting such idiotic moral policing should be punished as an offence of violating civilian terms that includes barring democratic liberty of people.Society should be defined as rules for freelance life of each and every individual..not by dictating rules that prevents their lifestyle.

I am not an exception. For the hotel thing u mentioned,i would like to inform u that Indian law provides protection of privacy for each people.and where as hotels are concerned they should respect their customers and their privacy.In case of 2 adults r staying and they have valid identity with them, police cant do anythn legally.For proof u can refer to supreme court recent judgement.It is lawyersclubindia forum...so we should talk about legal and illegal things, rather than personal attacks to others like what u r doing.Ur story has nothing to do with legal or illegal terms, u r just again being moral police, or may be a kinda well wisher with hidden mask of so called morality!

There are older people who r really open minded and there are always some young people who are backdated.Those are exceptions.Not me.so having an age of 17 or 77 and giving contradictory statements according to their age, just provides an example of exception.....That is called exception.Its the logic. Ur statement dont reflect the concerns and mentality of young and open-minded people of  India,rather as my friend said...its actually supporting moral policing with a camouflage.

And that 40+ aged congress leader has already shown his leadership ability and young generation surely likes his charm, helpfulness and personality.In politics u r not defined by certain age. Here the age means the time duration  she/he is in politics. He is an youth icon through his activity that reflects what young India wants.Politics is the science of being popular and in India, its the science of collecting more than 272 mps in a 543 member parliament.So, just dont conclude by comparing ur age with "HIM"the youth icon.That actually degrades him what he dont deserve.Anyways , he is really young when we compare his age with average politicians age.That is an example, nor that one u did sarcastically.and again there is nothing wrong in living a life of our own choice in democracy.

I admit ur certain points are reality and true facts. But individualism can make a person happy, not the social nonsense rules. A person should live a personal life on his/her own cards, nor by others definitions. Providing Barriers is not a solution..That actually breaks the bond.

The conflict between core values of the society and personal values resulting in unending human suffering

 https://praveenben.com/59/leadership-development/core-values

I agree  to payal saying  that " afraid of policemen or society we cant bury our happiness and enjoyment."

Society should be defined as rules for freelance life of each and every individual..not by dictating rules that prevents their lifestyle.

The system in which we are living is utterly corrupted. Indifference and exploitation are very common now a day in any system. The person who just entered into the system understands the whole complexity and stands at the cross roads. He does not know where to go? Now he has only two options. Whether to influence the system by following his nurtured values or influenced by the system.

We are influenced by the impressive possessions and social status. Our actions are motivated by these factors. Social status or riches are a means to serve the people and to express our love.

The alignment of conflicting values can be brought in by embracing love and empathy towards our fellow people. The emotions fear, anxiety, distress brings frustration and disappointment. The emotions of love and empathy bring peace and happiness in our lives.

We have got enough insight/gyan about the society in the above comments.And it's quite evident from your thoughts also that we should restrict society influencing our life. So just follow your mind, finally it's your life, the society will not come to your rescue if you are in trouble. But do such acts which are legally fair and at the same time keep the courage to fight back with the society if need arises.

Talk about confusion.... u admit "some" of my facts are true... and then continue to imply that anyone who places societal values over individual choices is a moral police.... how hyprocritic. The POINT i was trying to make (which obviously i havent been successful in making) is that individuals have various choices that may conflict with societal values and it all comes down to that individual. Its unfair and illogical to blame the whole society for it and people who choose to follow it. No one is asking you to be afraid of the policemen.. neither is this about staying in a hotel and getting caught.. its about having to make the choice between what is individually desired and what the societal norm is. .... If someone chooses to abide by the societal norm, ITS NOT WRONG.. just like its not wrong to go with your own choice... friction will always be there...

I think you didnt misunderstand. You didnt understand at all...Your naivete is only as charming as rahul gandhi's political prowess... You are mixing the choice to abide by societal values as a direct attack on individualism and any decision otherwise, would be moral policing. And like any other naive person, you give examples of the magalore pub incident......As i said, its easier to say all this than practice in real life. The mangalore pub incident, as evidenced by a sting operation later, was a orchestrated event (complete with cameras in tow) designed to create a group.... the mangalore pub unfortunately was the issue created so that murali could gather support for his political ambitions....And guessing by the flak he got for it, i think he was hated everywhere by .. wait a minute.. THE SOCIETY...

Talking about legal and illegal things....We wont throw the SC judgment when the policeman is dragging you and your partner by the collar to the police station. Surely if that happened, I wouldn't want my female partner to get dragged into it. And btw, did i say that you couldnt go or what you did was wrong. I only said my mom wouldnt like it if i went.. so if i care about what my mom thinks, then call me moral police...  If you chose to live by your own rules then so be it. But dont blame others of moral policing if they do not agree with your choice. Dont ridicule the whole society only because you think they are wrong. Moral policing doesnt stand for societal values. Hell, my post didnt even refer to it. Neither did yours. Its the confrontation between whats the norm in society versus individual choices. No one likes moral policing or being given a lecture on what is nice and whats not. Applyiing the same rule, no one wants being ridiculed for their choice ...moral policing as its conducted is no where supported.. its only for the media and the cameras....

About Rahul gandhi, yeah i saw all his political prowess in Bihar and by the statements he made to a US embassy official about hindu terrorists and by the fact that NONE of the students in DU gave him any attention when he came to "mingle with the youth". lets not even get there.... he may have won seats.. but the way i see it, its just a way of keeping the Gandhi family in the corridors in power..COnversely, it speaks a lot about the achievements of the politicians who call Rahul Gandhi on stage to garner votes...... and I DO NOT consider 40 years to be youth..

Finally, at the risk of "actively supportingmoral policing under a camouflage" (talk about an oxymoron!), I certainly believe that having to abide by societal norms IS NOT moral policing...getting unduly harassed for not abiding by it, is .... although the chances of me typing a response to this again, are as good as rahul gandhi doing something concrete instead of making speeches..

@Mr. LPO: look...i already mentioned that in politics the age means not the number of years he is in earth.It is actually when he entered politics and he is really new to politics...just compare his age with average age of our politicians.u will surely get  the point. U r rite that 40yrs person is not young..He is actually young politician..he is an youth icon cause young people knows their ideas reflects through his speeches and activities. DU thing is opposition party's conspiracy and there is no proof that he said anythn abt hindu terrorism. He is misquoted as reports suggests.He is doing his job..check the tremendous response he got from NLSIU.anyways,its not the place to discuss about his greatness neither he deserves ur false nonsense comments.As u mentioned Bihar, lets not talk about a single state election result.U can check through MP and other state MLA elections.The result is simple as congress is administrating the maximum of Indian states.

And the hotel i stayed , i didnt face any problems, a simple identity card was enough to satisfy their formalities.There is no such law that two adult person cant stay together without marriage.Its legal and right thing if both are willing to stay with each other.Illegal is that what restricts peoples from their freedom.we r not living in communist dictatorship.

And u r basically here to convey ur so called moral policing views actually.Nothing else and nothing regarding to this thread as what we r discussing. Anyways, i do support freelance lifestyle of each and every individual, which is not restricted by moral backed society rules.Thats my issue.Thats my point and i support that fully.

I dont expect everybody must support my issues, but having intention of living a life on my own style is not wrong. Its my life and i should live it in my own way. And i am not getn any bad vibes for that from my soul.I know what is correct and everybody knows their own issues and correctness or wrongs.They are sole responsible for that and its ethical that we should let people live a life that suits them and what they actually want. If the society rules of nonsense morals dont approve it so let it be.Who the.... gonna think about society approval afterall when it restricts their lifestyle? People dnt like to be restricted from their soul.They will certainly stop their activity if they dnt like it. Lets leave it to the people not to a so called society. Everybody has a personal life and society shouldnt interfere in that.Individualism is always welcomed by our generation.

I am not telling that the people who follows a so called society, are wrong. They like it from their soul and its their personal choice.That is also a collection of few individuals mentology. But when people do not want to abide by some rules that a society created , they have the choice of having a free life and they should live the life of their own choice.

Abiding by society rules is not moral policing my friend, neither i meant that, the moral policing is when people tries to restrict other people from living a life of their own by the name of society moral values.

Leave it dear

Ms.Payal, you have full right to live with ur firend and we all wish u a happy journey with ur new life

As the new year blossoms, may the journey of your life be fragrant with new opportunities, your days be bright with new hopes and your heart be happy!

Happy New Year! -

@kamal: wish u a very happy new year

@everybody: wish u all a very very happy and prosperous new year....