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Swapnil Shirodkar (Process Control Engineer)     15 June 2012

Intercourse and dv/498a threat

I am really puzzled about the dual attitute of my wife.. On one hand she and my inlaws are constantly threatning me and family and on the other hand... she is desperate for s*x and her attitude changes at that time and has has a forced intercourse with me.. and when denied she is threating suicide... and throwing tanurums..

Some times she says u married me only for s*x and some times she just wants to have s*x without thinking/saying anything

can i use this point to Quash 498A/DV in case if filed... 


 6 Replies

Democratic Indian (n/a)     15 June 2012

Rather than visiting courts, visit some marriage counselor to solve the confusion and misunderstandings amicably.

Swapnil Shirodkar (Process Control Engineer)     15 June 2012

Me and my family have been very kind enough to accept her and still now, the way she is, inspite of her verbally abusing my mummy and daddy and for her erratic behaviour... as i dont want to spoil the sacred institution of marriage

If it would have been someone else, he would have kicked her long time back like how her father did to her and mother, kicking them out in a drunken state on a heavy rainy night... 

MRRpersonality (Knows very little about Indian laws)     15 June 2012

@swapnil:  Finding it very difficult to understand you and your situation.  Please try and talk to elders and well wishers and see marriage counsellors.   Your inlaws are just threatening you to make your marriage work, though I am not saying they are justified in their actions.  However I do not see any real threat and you dont have to stop fearing such actions.   Please take your time and try to understand your wife as another human being.  Some people naturally have rude language due to the environment they were in, however this problem could be rectified over the time.  Instead of adding fuel to the fire, try to pour some water over it.   


Take her out on a week long vacation trip and discuss with her what you expect from her, with good persuasive skills and all will be good very soon.  Also try to accept what she expects from you with due respect.

Swapnil Shirodkar (Process Control Engineer)     15 June 2012




''Also try to accept what she expects from you with due respect''

1. If she expects me to drive out my brother, shall i accept with due respect???

2. If she expects me to send my parents to old age home, shall i accept with due respect??

3. if she expects me to take 50% share in my mothers peoperty and buy house, Shall i accept with due respect??

MRRpersonality (Knows very little about Indian laws)     15 June 2012

Did she tell you or suggest you that she wants your brother and parents out of the house and then the 50% share of your mother's property ?   


Accepting or understanding somebody's expectations with due respect implies your maturity to listen to the other person.  There is no need for you to accept the other persons unreasonable demands (which are no more called expectations).   But it does not hurt to know what the other person wants, with due patience.   Once you know what you want from each other, then you can weigh in options in consultation with your well-wishers.  Relationships are about give and take.   You meet a couple of expectations of hers, and then  she will meet your expectations.  Trust me, relationships are not about arguments they are about mutual understanding.   Certain type of people who are argumentative in nature lose their sleep more than those who are patient and willing to understand.


I reiterate my earlier suggestion to see a marriage counsellor.   You are an educated and intelligent person so I recommend, if you have not already read a very famous book by Dale Carnegie "How to win friends and influence others".  There are three books by Leil Lowndes "How to talk to anyone", "How to make anyone fall in love with you" and "How to make anyone like you".  They are gems.  Life is all about building relationships and keeping them. 

HK_Jain... (498a Fighter)     16 June 2012

Go for marriage counsellor before she approches CAW cell.

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