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Husband shall take 498A wife back?

Page no : 2

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     12 September 2010

@cool

I know these judgements.... you've every right to disagree with me and hold on to whatever opinion you have. I also just gave my opinion as I am totally against the tendency of analysing or resolving any case with a prejudiced mind. Whatever might be the observations of the SC,  while dealing practically with a case, every case has to be looked into and dealt with as per its own facts and circumstances, I am against the thinking that only husband's side is correct or only wife's side is correct, this is the only point I reiterated, nothing else. 

3 Like

(Guest)

@ Cool


1.
Answering your que. put to me. I say NO, why she should remain at home after his acquatal, once a 498a wife is not accepted by present in laws and her present husband I wish her not only quick re-marriage but this is point where she and her side of family should realise the effect of false or spur of the moment and or as advise given by noble profession was wrong and I am 90% (hypothetical figure) sure that once thsi self realisation is there she and her side of family will not use the same 498a with her NEW FAMILY and if she uses then 10% figure is left for contemplation by me. See no one becomes a criminal intentionally (generic saying) it is the situation and external and internal situations that makes a person criminal is also my laymans views and here we are talking of a women a wife so yes we may have hardcore views but at the end of the day one should leave bygone as one such bad patch in life and march ahead respectivley...............


2.
We as members of unbiassed society should not brand her as "criminal" because she has three benefit of doubts [it was false or it was spur of the moment action and or as advise given by noble profession]  and I would respect those three benefits of doubts to give her a new life but at her new family and not with same family is my views to continue respective families harmony and also to keep society's gossiping mouth shut. 

3 Like

(Guest)

@Adv Archana:

 

Thanks for your views. I am referring to the FALSE 498A cases in this thread. I know that not all the cases are FALSE but most of them are. As a result of which so many people have to say so much.

 


@D. Arun Sir,

 

1. It is also possible that the false 498A wife attacks with full force and with well prepared proofs during her second 498A case as there are training camps to train on how to file a 'TRUE' 498A? And also shw would have known to her mistakes during first 498A?

 


2. I agree with you that she should not be branded as a criminal in the society but what about the boy's family who had gone to JAIL under a false 498A? Society consider them as a criminal even after their acquittal. Aged parents can not forget their insult when police arrested them?


(Guest)

@ Cool


For 1: To your second set of questions I will say that everything is possible and let us not be so naive that it is only now possible to do so by a false 498a wife during second attempt with second husband, well it is also possible that with opposite side of training camp learnings the second husband here becomes smarter so these are contentious scenarios and does not have any legal "answers"  [see illustration below]


But from all these emerging Q & A one should also think positive that is let us wish a 498a wife to get remarried first and let a husband and his side may not be 498yed. Now if these are what you are searchign then I suggest get membership of a online "spiritual divorce" website n its link is here

https://www.debbieford.com/index.php?p=GetTrained&a=1016



For 2:
The same is the situation with 498a doing wife at the time of getting re-married so if one starts thinking selfishly only on the point of view of husband then no society can evolve ever. Think in this way that all these are your "personal" issues and not even "STATE's" nor "society" have any business to poke their nose. Once this message is hit clear to both STATE as well as "society" your question is answered well and till then keep hititng Q & A which are nothing but (I mean to me) over reaserch and over cautious attitutde which blocks a man's journey ahead (man here is gender neutral saying wise)............


So Sir, if at the end of the board your point to me is that you want me to admitt publically that Ms Archan's guidence is correct ? Then I don't have any issues, she is quite right in her message and I have no desire to chip chop verbs / nouns / sentences out of no issues from her wise message. Just becuase these situations are toooooo personal you know what I mean here and STATE and SOCIETY have no business in such marrital family "march forward scenarios" / path now and no clear digestive answer can suffice a person's "that phase" means histronics of previous hit (acquatal) or conviction and or "rehabilitation phase" I am hinting all these as generic way ..................take this as my last reply to conserve bandwiddth in this thread post and no gold medal I was after here .......


Illustration: Some early films of Mahesh Bhatt camp dealt with question marks at the end of social issues scriptts and this 498a is similar to it for both sides of camp I mean ending wise Sir......let us respect both genders at the end of the board in such situatons then................Ha ha

3 Like

(Guest)

@D. Arun Sir,

 

I also want that there are no false 498A cases in the society. I also agree that a new life should start with a trust and hope that both the parties do not repeat the same mistake again. I was aksing for the clarification for the suferrers who come to this forum with a confusion as to whether they should take their wife back or not. I also appreciate Adv Archana's views on the topic's subject.

2 Like

CommonMann (Software Professional)     13 September 2010

In My opinion after filing 498a or any other court case distance between husband and wife increases a lot and there is not attachment remains except s*xual desires. I have seen lots of wife who filed 498a and are divorced, is hardly getting married again. Obviously I am also victim of the same and if I want to marry again, my 1st criterien will be that the divorced women has not filed any case previously against her prior Husband. So if 498a is filed once no matter how much regrte a women can do..but she should not allowed to be taken back again in her matrimony house.


(Guest)

Charanpreet,

 

Anybody who was falsely implaicated in a 498A would think the way you have mentioned above. Nobody would like to marry a 498A wife. So what is the future of that specific 498A wife in the society?

2 Like

CommonMann (Software Professional)     13 September 2010

No future. I feel Women organizations should think on these  aspects deliberatley rather then encouraging women is abla and she should always file 498a like cases to harass husband and his family.  Otherwise no future for 498a Women Vampires in Indian society. They can only enjoy the money given by husband and become a hoar one day to satisfy her s*xual needs.

dream (individual)     13 September 2010

@Archana,

Its time that you should be aware that SC has not made such a comment in a particular. You should first read the directions of SC thru its various judgements, including the judgement that made GOI appoint Justice Mallimath and his recommendations on various matters (498a included). The latest such direction by SC to GOI has happened in 2nd week of August, 2010, ironically coinciding with Independence Day. The direction was to review (meaning scrapping) IPC 498A due to its rampant and wide misuse. Any common man, need not be an advocate, can gather these startling stastics of ACQUITTAL RATE OF of IPC498A (98%). Well I thought you are aware of this judgement. I stand corrected thence.


Wife filing 498a is itself the proof of her inability and also that of the inable upbringing of parents in not imparting the education of duties of a wife to her husband, and her family. PERIOD. The 498a wife & her parents have failed on 3 counts:

1. She did not get THAT education and training that it is ALSO her duty to make her family a happy one. This is failure # 1.

2.  Through her educational (so-called) qualifications have also failed her 2nd time.

3. Her parents never bothered to teach her these values and duties.

3 failures don't make it right. It is her failure and her parents', that is being rubbed on the husband and his family.

Marriage is a civil matter and any disputes need to be addressed applying civil laws only. I am sure Archana ji that you know that there exists CrPC and IPC for the violence and criminal misdeeds, including for those that happen in matrimony.


498a is the right of whores and not of wives.

@Topic

Coming to the topic, there is a woman called wife and then there is a 498a wife. All 498a wives are whores, hence must never be accepted not just by her husband(on whom she filed 498a) but also by all other men.

Want Kid Back (Sr.Management)     13 September 2010

I suggest making a database of women filing false 498a and making it public. Let's leave it for the men to decide to marry these women or not. That in my view is the simplest solution. Let's not attach labels, however make sure that such information is not kept confidential.

I am sure such false-498a women will not hesistate to keep such filing discreet to find a new customer.

WKB

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     13 September 2010

@ WKB

Your wish is half true !

Title: SIF initiates new program background checks of prespective bride


As the volumes of calls on the all India helpline grew steadily there was small but persistent team asking how do I know whether my future bride is reasonable or unreasonable. By 2007 we decided to pilot the background check process.


Bangalore is truly global city . No city can be called as global city without there being a strong  group fighting for father rights and men’s rights and that too in a progressive not traditional manner.


Our sifting of data provided a slightly better  significant hypothesis that working women are better marriage material .Now this may come as a surprise to many media folks or just public that financial independence makes a women go for divorce 498a etc. The reverse seems to be true a financially independent (on your shrama dhana not yama dhana , prema dhana or the rakshasha dhana of settlement) is marginally more able to make herself more satisfied in married life . The second she does not have any incentives of breaking marriage the way a non working wife may have.


The fact is borne out that there is a lack of trust in our legal structure (law makers , law executioners and law and order maintainers) by husbands. All components of the legal systems have to address this issue of faith amongst the husbands and convince where they are right and correct where they are wrong. An impatience is also growing at the bullock cart system where in today all the cases reported in justice where in the supreme court said that for making false dowry case a divorce can be granted are all from 20th century . In a reasonable that supreme court should be deciding on cases which started in 2003 or 2004 .


Which means the question arises how do I protect ? law has nothing to protect me ? the husbands refrain . A false dowry cases filed . went to jail for 15 days , parents went for 7 days and after 12-15 years came the supreme court that I am entitled to get divorce . Isn’t that too long


So we took out ten cases in 2007 and conducted the back ground check .


The background check was requested by 9 prospective grooms and one prospective bride ( whose boyfriend refused to commit saying that she must have done something wrong)


It was done is non hush manner in which the bride was told that she needs to co-operate in the background check .


3 bride backed out who had said that they had not filed 498a admitting that they had filed 498a . A clear hiding of facts and they got filtered out .


out of  72 succeeded fully and 1 provisionally the remaining four failed the background check for unreasonable behavior


Three furnished there details of their place of their stay and husbands stay but we were able to find out iin one case that she had actually filed a 498a case in a different state . She did not recognize that we would  would doing a check in the appeals database of high court. she thought we will just check the last marital place , place of marriage and  her working place. We actually checked the place of her highly placed aunts high court database and found an appeal . Falsification of information is a major no no . the other 2 we found an unreasonable 498a


The two we could not find the details of any 498a. our resources are not strong enough to look into every court ..


The two who succeeded also did not have the details 498a .


SO now we are down to 4


we then asked to produce the details of the divorce settlements.


Out of 4 three had reasonable settlements.


The one with unreasonable reasonable settlement was knocked


So we went to the next steps


Were they reasonable in their process of using the law.


Out of three one was found to be making exorbitant claims on the shrama dhana of the husbands.


That left last two women standing and got an unfettered  thumbs up


Of the two both were working . One had taken money as settlement but had been asking reasonable amount from the beginning  .


The one who had made exorbitant claims was given conditional approval with the understanding terms and condition of the marriage be drawn up ( pre nups called in ). and court marriage be done on those terms and conditions.


Why a low success rate ? I think this is the question for lawyers and lawmakers to answer why they promote unreasonable behavior


Who was the girl who was one who herself suggested that a background check be conducted. It was the girl who only conditionally passed. She thought that SIF will look at only the 498a papers and was confident . But agreed that her lawyers and everyone around her basically drilled and shamed her to fight unreasonable because after all she could have put her ex husband in jail and didn't. We pointed out that 498a is not the only unreasonableness that we look at . It is the entire set of behavior during marriage break up that we look at


What were the characteristics of the guys


3 out of 10 were never married and had fallen in love but were plagued with doubts because they could sense some kind of unreasonable behavior


Did everyone follow our advice. Yes they did to our limited knowledge. We did not follow up


We have gained a strong understanding of how to access the databases , how to do a background check . After all how reasonable you r in breakup is the best indicator of how reasonable you will be in second marriage.


And Guys cannot afford not to do a background check because the law and law execution the way it stands is currently unreasonable towards husbands.


So welcome now we have started the background checks in more earnest our methodology is built and the version 1.0 of background check is now available .The expertise and guidance and evaluation is free of cost .


No name have been disclosed for the simple reason that it is important to respect the privacy of the individuals concerned in their family life’s.


Source:
https://genderindian.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/01/sif-initiates-new-program-background-checks-of-prespective.htm

1 Like

Divya (csaf)     01 October 2010

@ Cool
 

I do not agree with your statement 'i know that not all the cases are FALSE but most of them are.'

There are so many cases where even educated women have to suffer at the hands of husband and in-laws mentally, physically and fiancially. Our society still has not matured enough to give equal status and benefit of doubt to the woman. These laws are there to protect women against such harassment. Every man and his family should bear in mind that there are laws to protect the woman and think  a 100 times before illtreating the wife/daughter-in-law. He should realise that marriage is a sacred institution and as a husband it is his responsibility to take care of his wife, to love her and protect her. It is his job to protect her even from illtreatment from his own family members. When a girl enters a new family after marriage everything is new for her. It should be the responsibility of the husband and in-laws to help her settle into the new environment. They should accept the fact that there are bound to be cultural differences which need to be overcome. If the inlaws are illtreating her, the husband should step in and handle the situation in a level headed manner as he is responsible to both his parents as well as his wife. Instead of this, if he also gangs up with his parents against his wife and inflicts verbal, physical and financial torture on his wife it is not only evil but also foolish. He will end up losing the love, respect and trust of his wife. Instead if he takes his wife into confidence and emotionally supports her, they can together overcome any initial hiccups in the marital house. This is a role which only a husband can play. If cracks develop early in a marriage, chances are that they will only widen if these things are not addressed in a timely manner.

 

2 Like

swatirswatir (learning law)     01 October 2010

shud not take back. because 498a can be real or false

in case its real
-if u were so cruel to her why u want to live with her.let her live at peace

 

in case its false-she is not worthy of it

marriage is a civil contract now not a sacrament anymore. its 2010

1 Like

Jamai Of Law (propra)     01 October 2010

'Husband taking 498a wife' is like a suspect in robery willing to compensate for the robbed items..................

 

Jab biwi 'chaurahe pe jaake' husband ke against chillati hai to............ kya uuuuse aftermath ki parva nahi hoti hai? .................................zaroor hoti hogi

 

sau me se ek aisa dhadasa kar pati hai..................baki sab asahayata se harrassment zelti hai...............

 

whether she has proofs or not......ye sab ka wichar karke aurat ooos nirnay pe pahunchati hai.....................

 

'Husband taking 498a wife'  is like an after thought on the part of the husband


(Guest)

@Divya - You are free to express your views the way I have expressed mine.

 

The motive of this thread is to advise husbands on whether to take a false 498A wife back or not?


 

I also admit that not every 498A is false but most of them are false. If the 498A is TRUE then the husband will not take any advise on getting his wife back. He knows that he tortured her and he is responsible for the 498A. He might not be interested in staying with the wife that's why tortured her. Isn't it?

 

This is question will only be asked by a suferrer of a false 498A. He will be in a dilemma on whether to get false 498A wife back or not?

 

I hope, I have cleared your doubts.

 

Cheers!
Cooool


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