Your wish is half true !
Title: SIF initiates new program background checks of prespective bride
As the volumes of calls on the all India helpline grew steadily there was small but persistent team asking how do I know whether my future bride is reasonable or unreasonable. By 2007 we decided to pilot the background check process.
Bangalore is truly global city . No city can be called as global city without there being a strong group fighting for father rights and men’s rights and that too in a progressive not traditional manner.
Our sifting of data provided a slightly better significant hypothesis that working women are better marriage material .Now this may come as a surprise to many media folks or just public that financial independence makes a women go for divorce 498a etc. The reverse seems to be true a financially independent (on your shrama dhana not yama dhana , prema dhana or the rakshasha dhana of settlement) is marginally more able to make herself more satisfied in married life . The second she does not have any incentives of breaking marriage the way a non working wife may have.
The fact is borne out that there is a lack of trust in our legal structure (law makers , law executioners and law and order maintainers) by husbands. All components of the legal systems have to address this issue of faith amongst the husbands and convince where they are right and correct where they are wrong. An impatience is also growing at the bullock cart system where in today all the cases reported in justice where in the supreme court said that for making false dowry case a divorce can be granted are all from 20th century . In a reasonable that supreme court should be deciding on cases which started in 2003 or 2004 .
Which means the question arises how do I protect ? law has nothing to protect me ? the husbands refrain . A false dowry cases filed . went to jail for 15 days , parents went for 7 days and after 12-15 years came the supreme court that I am entitled to get divorce . Isn’t that too long
So we took out ten cases in 2007 and conducted the back ground check .
The background check was requested by 9 prospective grooms and one prospective bride ( whose boyfriend refused to commit saying that she must have done something wrong)
It was done is non hush manner in which the bride was told that she needs to co-operate in the background check .
3 bride backed out who had said that they had not filed 498a admitting that they had filed 498a . A clear hiding of facts and they got filtered out .
out of 72 succeeded fully and 1 provisionally the remaining four failed the background check for unreasonable behavior
Three furnished there details of their place of their stay and husbands stay but we were able to find out iin one case that she had actually filed a 498a case in a different state . She did not recognize that we would would doing a check in the appeals database of high court. she thought we will just check the last marital place , place of marriage and her working place. We actually checked the place of her highly placed aunts high court database and found an appeal . Falsification of information is a major no no . the other 2 we found an unreasonable 498a
The two we could not find the details of any 498a. our resources are not strong enough to look into every court ..
The two who succeeded also did not have the details 498a .
SO now we are down to 4
we then asked to produce the details of the divorce settlements.
Out of 4 three had reasonable settlements.
The one with unreasonable reasonable settlement was knocked
So we went to the next steps
Were they reasonable in their process of using the law.
Out of three one was found to be making exorbitant claims on the shrama dhana of the husbands.
That left last two women standing and got an unfettered thumbs up
Of the two both were working . One had taken money as settlement but had been asking reasonable amount from the beginning .
The one who had made exorbitant claims was given conditional approval with the understanding terms and condition of the marriage be drawn up ( pre nups called in ). and court marriage be done on those terms and conditions.
Why a low success rate ? I think this is the question for lawyers and lawmakers to answer why they promote unreasonable behavior
Who was the girl who was one who herself suggested that a background check be conducted. It was the girl who only conditionally passed. She thought that SIF will look at only the 498a papers and was confident . But agreed that her lawyers and everyone around her basically drilled and shamed her to fight unreasonable because after all she could have put her ex husband in jail and didn't. We pointed out that 498a is not the only unreasonableness that we look at . It is the entire set of behavior during marriage break up that we look at
What were the characteristics of the guys
3 out of 10 were never married and had fallen in love but were plagued with doubts because they could sense some kind of unreasonable behavior
Did everyone follow our advice. Yes they did to our limited knowledge. We did not follow up
We have gained a strong understanding of how to access the databases , how to do a background check . After all how reasonable you r in breakup is the best indicator of how reasonable you will be in second marriage.
And Guys cannot afford not to do a background check because the law and law execution the way it stands is currently unreasonable towards husbands.
So welcome now we have started the background checks in more earnest our methodology is built and the version 1.0 of background check is now available .The expertise and guidance and evaluation is free of cost .
No name have been disclosed for the simple reason that it is important to respect the privacy of the individuals concerned in their family life’s.