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Prasad (Systems Engineer)     01 August 2014

How to prove mental cruelty by wife

Hello Experts,


My marriage happened in Feb 2012. My wife has MCA degree and worked before marriage.

She demanded that she will go and live in her parents house and I should visit her weekly or as and when possible.

As I cannot agree to this, I was living under the hope that she would change during the course of the time.

Within 10 months that we lived together I suffered a lot mentally and physically.


Cruelty include abusive language, beating, suicide threats, locking me in bathroom, hiding under the bed, hiding my things, Throwing things out of kitchen and making me to bring it, lying in the floor eyes wide open for a long time, Demanding 2 sovereigns of gold to be given every month, threatening to go out of the bed room nude, Threatening to go to women police station in the middle of the night, suddenly vanishing while walking on the road etc…]


She used to take her bags in the middle of the night to leave to her home 450kms away.

I used to stop her and request her to stay as my older parents will be shocked such things happening in their son’s life. Recently my mother also broke silence about the cruelties that she did to my parents when I was away for work.


After 10 months, finally she left home one day in November. She took all her clothes, gold and certificates. I ran behind her and accompanied her for safety till her parent’s house.

As soon as we reached their home, I was locked in a room and my mobile phone was snatched away from me. My wife beat me and left me locked the whole day. Evening some of my relatives came and freed me. That’s the last day that I saw her.


Then for more than a year, no apology or any reconciliation efforts came from their side.

Her father sent some unknown men to our home and threatened my parents and me.

They went and told cooked up stories to my own relatives to defame me and my parents.

Some of her relatives alone simply visited to ask to take back the girl without giving any explanation from their side. One day I got a warning call from unknown person/number that a false dowry case is going to be filed on me and parents.


Then, within a week, I arranged for a lawyer and filed a divorce petition based on mental cruelty in Jan 2014. Now 3 hearings in court is over and 3 days of counselling is also exhausted. Now judge has asked my wife to file counter.

My wife simply refutes my allegations as lie and insists to live with me. But, out of the court, she and her father continue to threaten me. 


At this stage, here are my queries,


1.       Initially, my lawyer suggested to state the case at a high level hoping that the wife side would come for a compromise. So, the incidents of cruelty were not capture in details.

Now, how can I state the cruelties in detail. Can I mention them while replying to her counter? [at least 12 types of cruelties executed many-many times on me.]

Cruelty include abusive language, beating, suicide threats, locking me in bathroom, hiding under the bed, hiding my things, Throwing things out of kitchen and making me to bring it, lying in the floor eyes wide open for a long time,  Demanding 2 sovereigns of gold to be given every month, threatening to go out of the bed room nude, Threatening to go to women police station in the middle of the night, suddenly vanishing while walking on the road etc…]

2.       How can I prove all those cruelties that happened in my bed room, in my home when my parents were not there and in their home?

3.       The girl’s lawyer says the case can be settled out of the court if I pay 10 lakhs.

I feel 10 lakhs is a very high amount for that girl with Master’s degree and can work.

Is it safe to go for out of the court settlement and how much is a reasonable amount to negotiate?


 15 Replies

Nirav Gandhi (Sr.Officer)     01 August 2014

I am also facing same problem here laxmikant joshi sir advice me that you can file divorc against ur wife u/s 13 (1)(ia) but you have to prove that either audio or vedio recording or eye witnes. As i got advice from SC lawyer if u hv continue physicsl relation with ur wife then u should must stop it otherwise u dont file case. I have made recorded calls of my wife even email msgs also.

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     01 August 2014

already the counter stage is now so first see the counter and what is ur wife version for the allegations and also you have not mentioned if you have any evidences for the allegations you have mentioned if you can prove your allegations then no compromise fight and if you want no tension and marry again then decide ur self how much you can pay her and negotiate and before that if any thing is left with your or with them first take them all and nay other cases first make them withdraw and apply for mutual consent divorce

rising up again (FFF)     01 August 2014

out of court is always good..  if u can pay 10 lakhs, sit with them...start from 3-4 , negotiate hard and pay as much is settled...and get our of this problem. Indian laws dont allow men to enjoy the winning of cases as even if u win, you waste few precious years of your life in courts and paying advocates etc etc... 


So, why not pay her and save ur few years.. !!!  rather than giving her a bad time....you think...of ur good times..... in future. get married and settle again.. life will be good !!!!!! 

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     01 August 2014

Hi Nirav and Mahesh... Thank you for your responses. Unfortunately I do not have any audio/video/email proofs. As I think she wants to drag case to demand more alimony/money from me, I want to win the case on merits earlier.

Will judge dismiss my case if I cannot prove cruelty by document evidence?

Hi Mahesh/Rising up again... Through a mediator we agreed upto 4L. They wanted 6 and when we agreed to 6, they now demand 10. Seems they are playing a game with me to just drag the case.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     01 August 2014

It is also my loud thinking or musing that how and why a divorce petition on the ground of cruelty has been prepared by an advocate not disclosing all the alleged cruel acts attributed to the wife, when client has given so much details of cruelty.  Definitely the acts detailed above are cruel acts of extreme nature and they should have been mentioned date wise with utmost details in the original divorce petition itself, instead of waiting compromise (or trying to avoid any anticipated criminal case like Sectin 498-A, Dowry Prohibition Act or other cases under Domestic Violence Act or Section 125 cr.p.c. etc. to be filed by the wife with vengeance) or suppressing them waiting to fill up  them in the rejoinder.  That is not the way how to plead the cases.  Any how, it is not wise "to weep over spilt milk".  You fill up the details of remaining cruel acts in your rejoinder. But make sure - you have to give the details of cruel acts date wise, place wise and with full particulars as far as possible.  But should not add up any thing / any person, who was not there at the time of alleged cruel activity to bring him later on as your witness to buttres your case.  Now, I will come to your most important question, which agitates the minds of several litigants, more particularly the litigants in matrimonial disputes.  If most of the crimes / atrocities / cruelties are pertpetrated within the house and between the four walls  and only in the presence of contesting parties, i.e., husband and wife, how can these acts  be proved in the court of law to get the relief sought.  The quality of evidence required in matrimonial disputes is - "preponderance of evidence".  In the addition of eye witnesses,he courts try to look into documentary and electronic evidence.  But in most of the cases, even these pieces of evidence are unavailable or proving the electronic evidence meets certain genuine technical difficulties.  So, the courts on the basis of oral evidence led by the parties and the way the parties withstand  the cross examination and general demeanour of the parties and finally the probability of the occurence of such alleged cruel acts come to the conclusion either this way or that way.  BUT IN YOUR CASE, THE ALLEGED CRUEL ACTS ATTRIBUTED TO YOUR WIFE COME FROM A PERSON AFFLICTED CERTAIN MENTAL PROBLEMS.  If you move appropriate application for sending her to psychiatrist to asses her and send a report to the court whether she, in her mental state, is capable of doing such things, you will get the report, which will become best piece of evidence, if the report goes in your way.  I just stated the above facts not to hurt any advocate but only to demistify the clients involved in matrimonial disputes.

2 Like

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     01 August 2014


sankar P (supervisor)     01 August 2014

Need More suggestion from the experts for the Victim like us..


First time Iam impressed with the reply of mr. Chandu, he has rightly opined that in divorce petition the date, time, place must be written in chronological order so, that during cross examination the truth must come out with round ups of questions, if one is not having any documentary evidences to show her cruelties.


Dear, querist,


You have exhaustive incidences of mental and physical cruelties u/s hma 13(i)a. There are various SC and Hc judgements related to your case. Just google down related to your case you will find many.

Many of them I have posted in my blog, if you wish you could go through it.







Prasad (Systems Engineer)     01 August 2014

Respected Adv.Chandrasekhar Sir...

Thank you so much for your response. It really helped me to think through my past/present situation
and a possible future course of action. I have started recollecting all information and adding
date/time/place details to every incident. I have also talked to my lawyer to put them in rejoinder
based on what she writes in her counter.

I also evaluated whether her parents hide any mental issues.
But for me, she is more of "brilliant actor" than with any other issues.
Because, she has moved nicely with my relatives and friends
and now my relatives are finding difficult to belive my version of what happened.
She is surely well trained by her mom to pressurise me to do whatever she wishes.
She has completed her MCA and worked as a stock broker before marriage.

Hello ESIS... Thank you for your response.
I have started going through your blog.
It is a life saver for me to have all such relevant information in one place, in your blog.
As suggested by Adv.Chandrasekhar and you, I have started recollecting all information and adding
date/time/place details to every incident.

Nirav Gandhi (Sr.Officer)     01 August 2014

Hi prasad, I am also facing same problem my wife want divorc with maintenance 1.25lac when i agreed then her limit is going on 5lac then i agrred she want 10lac then iagreed to giv thencshe want 25lac then i agreed to giv then she want one flat in the nane of my wife then she will decide giv divorc or not. She just herres me nothing else. I am also search way how to escap from my self from my wife.

Nirav Gandhi (Sr.Officer)     01 August 2014

I think MCD is not possible in ur case becas ur wife dont want to divorce she intense is herres u nothing else. Her parent invovle in it. They surely teaching ur wife how to herres u. In my case sam thing heppened. My in laws teaching my wife .any metter heppened then call to police my wife choos way which is taught by my inlaws.

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     01 August 2014

Yes Nirav. You are right. I agree with you. These educated women misuse the women-friendly laws.

Please share any information or ways to tackle this stituation so that amicable solution is arrived at?

I am thinking that such persons should be exposed to media and so they will come forward for a quick closure of the case.

Nirav Gandhi (Sr.Officer)     01 August 2014

I was searching that who taught my wif but when i was getting suprised her parent involv in it. One day my in law cone to ahmedabad gujarat sudenly my uncle was*xpire in accident at 5pm. I reached at accident place very fast my bro was in mumbai parent are going to my relative home both r nt available. I only person handling police like panchnama. All Polic formalities done in 4hrs. And death modi went for PM. We need to reach hospital next morning for collect body.I stayed at my parent hone becas i am so nuch tired and sleeped. My wife come at parent home and fight with why nt come at home she dont understand that uncle was expired her bludy parent nt understand situation. I am socked my inlow says if u need divorc then u pay money then i realise that all bludy done my in laws.

Nirav Gandhi (Sr.Officer)     01 August 2014

Dear Prasad, first of all u try to recording or catch vedio that is proof u file divorc under section cruelty. I hv collect recording and made cd. If u dont hv evidence then judge throw out ur case.

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