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Harassment from father in law

Page no : 3

Sharren   20 November 2015

Mr superhero, I need legal advise not ur sadu opnions ok. Keep ur opnions in ur pocket dont throw it to me. I dont find u litareted person.please seat quite if dont have experience of talking with a woman

A walk alone (-)     20 November 2015

Before filling any complain collect evidence because in court you have to prove your case on basis of evidence simply saying is not enough . On simply saying basis you can harasst them not punish that why I m saying collect evidence like audio and video recording. First convince your husband you are ready to live with him and if this harassment happen again then record it and file case. This way you can punish them by proving your case.

SuperHero (Manager)     21 November 2015

Originally posted by : Sharren
Mr superhero, I need legal advise not ur sadu opnions ok. Keep ur opnions in ur pocket dont throw it to me. I dont find u litareted person.please seat quite if dont have experience of talking with a woman

Soooooper......I like your attitude...tried to find the meaning of 


(Guest)

To sum upit all sharren you are in catch 22 situation. The world is same every where. India china philipines or USA. If you go back as it is, your FIL will now get more encouraged and he will start flings more feverishly.If you keep quiet and stay far, your marriage will go sour and may break too,So third party involvment is first cause. You can go to womens right commission of state where you live and they will summon your husband and father in law. You should also put charges that they have conspired to expel you from home. It is very very important and both havebeen misbehaving. Your FIL,also s*xual advances. If an NGO does the job good and well otherwise an FIR will be registered. Otherwise you can file DOmestic Violence appeal. For residence order and protection order and also ask for eviction of your father in law. Hope they should come in senses. Or else you complain to CEO of compnay wherethis sheepish guy works.


(Guest)

Remember your husbands home is your shared accomodation even though rented and you have lives there by way of consanguity or by reason of marriage.Even being a husband he cant deny you right to accomodaiton unless there is judcial separation which in this case he can never get.

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     21 November 2015

Gupta... In this forum, you are accusing Sharren's husband [using Sheepish guy and other words] just based on her query. And Sharren has no problem with that. She is allowing a third person to accuse her husband and FILs in their absence in this forum.

"these type of commitment shows that my husband dont have any more feelings for me. he just want a house keeper not a wife. "

And Sharren feels that being house keeper is not a wife's job. Insane. What is inferior about being a housekeeper? When wife is there, do we need to hire a housekeeper separately? Our mothers were happy and proud housekeepers and that did not degrade them anyway. We are all brought up by them.

"Mr Gupta, I cant mention the whole case in text form. But Please try to understan it, Its all the game of my FIL to keep control on me and my Husband. He makes brainwash of my husband using emotional drama, u know, in presence of my husband My FIL behave like gentle men.

i.e- when I m in kitchen, while cooking, FIL come and says: " Beta..do u need any help, give me any subji cutting type work,I will do it for u, as u dont have MIL its my risponsibily to help u." using this type of buttering statements he comes in kitchen and comes very close to me for taking the knife instead of asking it from me. I cant even throw it to him, as my husband may misinterpret this behave but I get irritate by this everyday drama.  "

I am convinced that Sharren is telling lies about her FIL, just to get rid of him by any legal means.

So, I have no more good suggestions to tell her except what I have shared so far in the earlier replies. But she should know that any legal ugly harsh ways will destroy her marital life and everyone in her family.

 


(Guest)

Prasad i can see you are a system engineer. How come you are giving advise persistently despite querist asking you to keep out? She does not want opinion from you. You areniether runnign a socia;l welafre forum or NGO nor a lawyer. You aremerely arguing with me and querist. No good.

And please correct your arrognace to address without proper salutation. Learn to respectothersatleastin socialspots or on fora.

I dont think you merit any qualifications to give advise on womens issues or legalk matters.

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     21 November 2015

Sir... Just because someone runs a NGO does not make give them any right to accuse someone's husband or anyone in a public forum. So, I don't need to run any social welfare forum nor NGO nor be a lawyer to talk common sense and with good intention to save a marriage. Law is not a rocket science. So, anybody can understand. But only a sufferer of misuse of law know the other side of law that destroys families. If you read my replies to Sharren, all of them will help her solve the matter amicably. But all your ideas are to ruin the marital life.

All your ideas are one sided to woman. But I have balanced approach wighing both sides. In marital life and family, one cannot live happily by harming others. This is true for society as well.

This is not a lawyers only forum. The creators of this wonderful forum and website were very clear in their vision and mission and so they say that this forum is an "interactive forum for lawyers and Indian public". 

 

Simran Arora   22 November 2015

Sharren,

I understand your situation. Even a child understands the difference between good touch and bad touch and intentions behind it. A woman can even feel uncomfortable and make out that someone is staring in a wrong way. One of my friend's FIL has a habit of kissing everyone on lips, be it his sons or DILs. He also stares at the maids in a very different way. When my friend talked to her husband, he told her that he does not have any bad intentions. Its just his habit. In your case, it seems that your FIL has wrong intentions. Its not just habit. Because, you want to save your marriage desperately, lets give your FIL benefit of doubt. Appologise to your husband and also to your FIL saying that probably you got everything wrong. Tell your husband that you want to give this a second chance and really want things to work. Tell him that you would take care of his old father. However, lay some guidelines such as he should not come in kitchen when you are working as that makes you feel uncomforable. Explain your husband that what seems right for them is really not right for you. Its about your comfort level also and that you are not doubting his intentions. Also, if possible hire a full time maid. This is financial burden, but you will have someone else in the house as well. Mornings and evenings your husband would be there. Ignore his not locking the toilet door and all that stuff. You can choose to go away somewhere else when he is in the toilet. But, remember, do not encourage any wrong advances from your FIL. He should not feel that you are scared or have given in. Maintain your dignity. His son's marraige is also at stake. He should sit back and think of the consequences of his doings. May be his age is not allowing him to. After doing all this, even if the problem doesnt solve, stay away from your husband for a while. Do not take any legal actions immediately or try to explain yourself.  Give time for him to realize. If he doesnt, move on, dear friend, it wont work as it takes two in a relation. You adjusting and bearing all sorts of torture doesnt make sense. I am not a legal advisor. I stumbbled on your post while finding remedy to mine. Please feel free to send PM, if you feel like talking. Hope my advise helps you save your marraige.

3 Like

FightForCause (Businessman)     23 November 2015

Mr Gupta has whole and sole right here to discuss women issues. others advising and putting their view points is not acceptable.

u take many of Mr. Gupta answers and u will find Mr. Gupta do not ever questions a women version but if a male is asking some query, his point is u are hiding something.

Mr. gupta as a third party person in thsi forum and by reading many posts here, it can be visually seen that some of the "experts" here are pro-women and some pro-men. The forum should be nuetral for legal advises.

There was time when we had Tabjobsindia kind of people giving legal and better advises. Now it seems all are in hurry to help and get good scores in LCI. 

#maybettersenseprevail

1 Like

(Guest)
Those males here who are opposing our views have all the right to do so. But please do not make personal remarks about any participant and take his name. This is abuse of forum. You give your own view points and let readers decide their own view. That is what civilised discussion is all about. Many males feel we are pro-woman? Why not? they are 50% population, fair s*x, weaker s*x and part and parcel of our families-Mother ,daughter, sister. All of you also are well aware of atrocities and cruelty going on with women. Just because of gender. Males hardly suffer gender based crimes and cruelty. None of you can disagree on that. Truth is even today even a lady IAS pass out has to give dowry of 1 crore to another male IAS partner. Why? In my view males should give dowry because woman leaves her parents and migrates taking huge risk. Is not it? Yu know how it is in Islam> Besdies all this, our children also suffer being weaker too. Child abuse is second major concern in Indian society from s*x abuse to child labor to forced begging. So tomorrow if you don't like our pro child stance, we don't care. We will advance cause of weaker sections of society. It does not mean all men are bad. I am also a man. WE are researchers and take issues on daily basis in reality. We see daily, how much atrocities women are facing . Surprisingly most cases women are also involved. But then should we stop taking women's cause? Where society will go? In Egypt and many countries law put burden of proof on accused not complainant. In India, only for a few crimes we have done this. This is sad. In women's crimes which happen in 4 walls of homes where witnesses are not available burden of proof of innocence should lie on man and not on woman to prove the crime. Then only there will be equality. Just imagine 4 members of family pressing throat of woman in night inside home and asking her to sign and suicide note. With men does this thing happen? Due to poverty and male bias in Hindus and Muslims both, girls are picked regularly in Orissa, Nepal, Jharkhand,Bengal and Bihar and sold by gangs or put as prostitutes and labor in Delhi ,north and western India. What crime these innocent little souls did? Just because they are born girls? What about murder of Arushi, sheena Vohra or Sunanda Pushkar? It is easy to criticise. But face the truth. If you have faced some victimisation do fight back and Indian laws are very deep and strong. They don't punish even the guilty easily.So why you guys are irritated? Go ahead and fight the case. What will be your view if your relative female is involved. Will you still criticise me for support?
1 Like

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     24 November 2015

Interesting discussion... The bare fact is that the FIL is interested in his DIL and you cannot change that through therapy or whatever. It will only get worse. So, practically speaking you have two choices: Satisfy both of them if you are attracted to the FIL also. Some women enjoy that kind of stuff - Day time FIL and at night husband? or some such schedule. Second option, ask your hubby to live separately and if not, collect evidence of your FIL's behavior and your husband's refusal to stay separately and file for divorce. Any other discussion is just time-pass.

FightForCause (Businessman)     24 November 2015

U are funny.

Still contemplating who should give dowry and who should not....

Dowry in any form ( Dowry/Alimony) is bad for society.

Now coming to " Males do not suffer from Gender biasness"..please see the acquittal ratio of 498a and other cases. Acquittal do not proves that man is innocent but it definitely proves he was booked under false/wrong ipc just for harrassment.

Have u ever heard of Men commission ?

There is Women commission, child commission and even animal welfare commission and environment commision..but no men commission----- why are men not having problems?

Have u ever questioned police officer a women commiting suicide why MAN and his family is booked but if vice versa..its a case of accident-- AND YOU TALK OF GENDER EQUALITY :)

 

 

 

 


 

I am not against your supporting women...i do support innocent women.

But dont be just women centric, there are more issues involved.

Have u ever been to Women councelling cell, even knowing that women is wrong the guy is told to accept the women or face 498a cases.

AND FOR UR KIND INFORMATION---your research is freakingly outdated.....just visit NCRB and u will find out of child s*x abuse more cases are of boys sodomising.

 

There are more pointers to it....All wanted to say was and still emphasizing that " BE Nuetral on legal forums" and outside u can be a women saviour or researcher or whatever.


(Guest)
Read my posting again. legal alternatives have already been given. Every thing cant be solved by law. Our national government has recognised. You should first update your legal knowledge and what is happening around in world. In USA also first legal arbitration mandatory in lawyers chambers before case is put before jury. Only in India like countries, any one puts Rs 5 tamp and starts a case. That is why there is abuse. There is no law of torts in criminal justice in India as it is inherited from foreign rulers British. It was one sided law. Your pain will be solved by addressing above facts I have just mentioned. To stop crimes financially destroy criminals. That is what happens in USA. You cant stop any one from filing a complaint. But if complaint is found malafied and out rightly vexatious jail the persons complaining. So instead wasting your breathe here campaign with me for changing Indian legal system, Until then you keep shouting, no one is going to hear. Don't waste your time here. Lastly if any one wants only serious legal opinion please ask query in expert section of lawyers club. There learned advocated will give you strictly legal opinion. You haveconfused between gener bias and couirt proceedings In courts there is no bias against males. Law is depicted as blind folded goddess. Judge only goes by evience and law and its obectives. I know of severa cases where women have been tortured and insuted to make them leave home.That is the goal of doing allthis. Once she leaves she is called deserted and boy aftera couple of years marries again legally or secretaly taking another ropund of dowry.

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