Sharren 20 November 2015
A walk alone (-) 20 November 2015
SuperHero (Manager) 21 November 2015
|Originally posted by : Sharren|
|Mr superhero, I need legal advise not ur sadu opnions ok. Keep ur opnions in ur pocket dont throw it to me. I dont find u litareted person.please seat quite if dont have experience of talking with a woman|
Soooooper......I like your attitude...tried to find the meaning of
To sum upit all sharren you are in catch 22 situation. The world is same every where. India china philipines or USA. If you go back as it is, your FIL will now get more encouraged and he will start flings more feverishly.If you keep quiet and stay far, your marriage will go sour and may break too,So third party involvment is first cause. You can go to womens right commission of state where you live and they will summon your husband and father in law. You should also put charges that they have conspired to expel you from home. It is very very important and both havebeen misbehaving. Your FIL,also s*xual advances. If an NGO does the job good and well otherwise an FIR will be registered. Otherwise you can file DOmestic Violence appeal. For residence order and protection order and also ask for eviction of your father in law. Hope they should come in senses. Or else you complain to CEO of compnay wherethis sheepish guy works.
Prasad (Systems Engineer) 21 November 2015
Gupta... In this forum, you are accusing Sharren's husband [using Sheepish guy and other words] just based on her query. And Sharren has no problem with that. She is allowing a third person to accuse her husband and FILs in their absence in this forum.
"these type of commitment shows that my husband dont have any more feelings for me. he just want a house keeper not a wife. "
And Sharren feels that being house keeper is not a wife's job. Insane. What is inferior about being a housekeeper? When wife is there, do we need to hire a housekeeper separately? Our mothers were happy and proud housekeepers and that did not degrade them anyway. We are all brought up by them.
"Mr Gupta, I cant mention the whole case in text form. But Please try to understan it, Its all the game of my FIL to keep control on me and my Husband. He makes brainwash of my husband using emotional drama, u know, in presence of my husband My FIL behave like gentle men.
i.e- when I m in kitchen, while cooking, FIL come and says: " Beta..do u need any help, give me any subji cutting type work,I will do it for u, as u dont have MIL its my risponsibily to help u." using this type of buttering statements he comes in kitchen and comes very close to me for taking the knife instead of asking it from me. I cant even throw it to him, as my husband may misinterpret this behave but I get irritate by this everyday drama. "
I am convinced that Sharren is telling lies about her FIL, just to get rid of him by any legal means.
So, I have no more good suggestions to tell her except what I have shared so far in the earlier replies. But she should know that any legal ugly harsh ways will destroy her marital life and everyone in her family.
Prasad i can see you are a system engineer. How come you are giving advise persistently despite querist asking you to keep out? She does not want opinion from you. You areniether runnign a socia;l welafre forum or NGO nor a lawyer. You aremerely arguing with me and querist. No good.
And please correct your arrognace to address without proper salutation. Learn to respectothersatleastin socialspots or on fora.
I dont think you merit any qualifications to give advise on womens issues or legalk matters.
Prasad (Systems Engineer) 21 November 2015
Sir... Just because someone runs a NGO does not make give them any right to accuse someone's husband or anyone in a public forum. So, I don't need to run any social welfare forum nor NGO nor be a lawyer to talk common sense and with good intention to save a marriage. Law is not a rocket science. So, anybody can understand. But only a sufferer of misuse of law know the other side of law that destroys families. If you read my replies to Sharren, all of them will help her solve the matter amicably. But all your ideas are to ruin the marital life.
All your ideas are one sided to woman. But I have balanced approach wighing both sides. In marital life and family, one cannot live happily by harming others. This is true for society as well.
This is not a lawyers only forum. The creators of this wonderful forum and website were very clear in their vision and mission and so they say that this forum is an "interactive forum for lawyers and Indian public".
Simran Arora 22 November 2015
I understand your situation. Even a child understands the difference between good touch and bad touch and intentions behind it. A woman can even feel uncomfortable and make out that someone is staring in a wrong way. One of my friend's FIL has a habit of kissing everyone on lips, be it his sons or DILs. He also stares at the maids in a very different way. When my friend talked to her husband, he told her that he does not have any bad intentions. Its just his habit. In your case, it seems that your FIL has wrong intentions. Its not just habit. Because, you want to save your marriage desperately, lets give your FIL benefit of doubt. Appologise to your husband and also to your FIL saying that probably you got everything wrong. Tell your husband that you want to give this a second chance and really want things to work. Tell him that you would take care of his old father. However, lay some guidelines such as he should not come in kitchen when you are working as that makes you feel uncomforable. Explain your husband that what seems right for them is really not right for you. Its about your comfort level also and that you are not doubting his intentions. Also, if possible hire a full time maid. This is financial burden, but you will have someone else in the house as well. Mornings and evenings your husband would be there. Ignore his not locking the toilet door and all that stuff. You can choose to go away somewhere else when he is in the toilet. But, remember, do not encourage any wrong advances from your FIL. He should not feel that you are scared or have given in. Maintain your dignity. His son's marraige is also at stake. He should sit back and think of the consequences of his doings. May be his age is not allowing him to. After doing all this, even if the problem doesnt solve, stay away from your husband for a while. Do not take any legal actions immediately or try to explain yourself. Give time for him to realize. If he doesnt, move on, dear friend, it wont work as it takes two in a relation. You adjusting and bearing all sorts of torture doesnt make sense. I am not a legal advisor. I stumbbled on your post while finding remedy to mine. Please feel free to send PM, if you feel like talking. Hope my advise helps you save your marraige.
FightForCause (Businessman) 23 November 2015
Mr Gupta has whole and sole right here to discuss women issues. others advising and putting their view points is not acceptable.
u take many of Mr. Gupta answers and u will find Mr. Gupta do not ever questions a women version but if a male is asking some query, his point is u are hiding something.
Mr. gupta as a third party person in thsi forum and by reading many posts here, it can be visually seen that some of the "experts" here are pro-women and some pro-men. The forum should be nuetral for legal advises.
There was time when we had Tabjobsindia kind of people giving legal and better advises. Now it seems all are in hurry to help and get good scores in LCI.
Samir N (General Queries) (Business) 24 November 2015
Interesting discussion... The bare fact is that the FIL is interested in his DIL and you cannot change that through therapy or whatever. It will only get worse. So, practically speaking you have two choices: Satisfy both of them if you are attracted to the FIL also. Some women enjoy that kind of stuff - Day time FIL and at night husband? or some such schedule. Second option, ask your hubby to live separately and if not, collect evidence of your FIL's behavior and your husband's refusal to stay separately and file for divorce. Any other discussion is just time-pass.
FightForCause (Businessman) 24 November 2015
U are funny.
Still contemplating who should give dowry and who should not....
Dowry in any form ( Dowry/Alimony) is bad for society.
Now coming to " Males do not suffer from Gender biasness"..please see the acquittal ratio of 498a and other cases. Acquittal do not proves that man is innocent but it definitely proves he was booked under false/wrong ipc just for harrassment.
Have u ever heard of Men commission ?
There is Women commission, child commission and even animal welfare commission and environment commision..but no men commission----- why are men not having problems?
Have u ever questioned police officer a women commiting suicide why MAN and his family is booked but if vice versa..its a case of accident-- AND YOU TALK OF GENDER EQUALITY :)
I am not against your supporting women...i do support innocent women.
But dont be just women centric, there are more issues involved.
Have u ever been to Women councelling cell, even knowing that women is wrong the guy is told to accept the women or face 498a cases.
AND FOR UR KIND INFORMATION---your research is freakingly outdated.....just visit NCRB and u will find out of child s*x abuse more cases are of boys sodomising.
There are more pointers to it....All wanted to say was and still emphasizing that " BE Nuetral on legal forums" and outside u can be a women saviour or researcher or whatever.