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Harassment from father in law

Page no : 2

Sharren   20 November 2015

any son will never accepts wrong things against his father, He throwed me out of home without seening any evidence, once i showed my husband that his father went in washroom without locking it, but he told that it may be by mistake, he trust his father blindely.

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     20 November 2015

Sharren... Will you accept similiar complaint on your father by the wife of your brother? You will certainly will not accept such a complaint and will do your best to make your brother divorce his wife.

 

Please retrospect or talk to a counsellor and really assert that you are making right judgement about your FIL and not misunderstood him.

 

Because, some women are so much sensitive and afraid that they doubt almost every man under even slightly abnormal circumstances.

 

Do you know it is common among aged persons especially those who lost their spouse, will lose their mind and do such mistakes like not locking door properly or drop food while eating and many such?

 

So, Please. Please. Please. Take time to analyze and take correct steps to save your marriage.

 

Even if you finally find your FIL as bad, you can still take steps to fix this by not hurting anyone drastically.

 

But if you hurt anyone by mistaken judgement, then everybody's life will be ruined.

 

Please. Please. Please take time.

 

I wish you peace of mind to you and to your family.

Sharren   20 November 2015

he force My husband to keep the door of bedroom open what about that?  My husband not even give objection to this, and then at midnight he silently close it when his father sleeping, and very early in the morning open the door just to pretend that it was open all the nignt. I m his wife, why he scarred this much. what is this? is it really  "Sanskars" or "Scarring"?

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     20 November 2015

Was your FIL doing like this when your MIL was alive?

 

I believe you should suggest to your husband to take his father for counselling.

 

May be he is doing it because of some unknown fear after the death of his wife.

 

If he is really doing it with bad intention, it is not difficult for your husband to identify it and do some alternates to give different accomodation to his father.

 

More than you, your husband can understand his father better.

 

So, please consider the counselling route for your FIL.

 

You can suggest this to your husband even if you have not joined your husband yet.

 

Meanwhile pursue temporary separate accomodation for you and your husband in a nearby place.

 

But never ever alienate or tell wrong things about your FIL to your husband. This will save the trust and love of your husband. That is your strength to handle any situation better.

 

You can even at some point will be able to live separately for ever and happily. It is possible.

 


(Guest)

Shareen. Ask your FIL to move to his own 1 BHK flat. That is perfectly okay. If your husband  insists that father live with you guys he must bring his good behaviour undertaking on record. nevera ccpet any s*xual advnaces from any one. 

You can even file domestic violence case against your father in law and ask magistrate to give movement order to your father in law.

Even if it is rented house you have full right to saty there. Your husband cant turn you out or he has to make separate accomodation for you.

We are finding too many cases of IT background couple.Both earning handsomly and living separate in nuclear family. Perhaps too much salary and mental stress is casue behind all this.

But you should not compromise in this matter at all. Stand your ground. Your stand is moral,ethical and legal. No one in society will mock at you for this.

Let your husband realise his fault and approach you. No point asking that meek and coward person . he wont change at this stage.

 

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     20 November 2015

Mr.Gupta... You are now completely misguiding the lady who want to save the marriage and live dignified with her husband. All your ideas will break her marital life beyond repair by destroyng the love and trust between the couple. 

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     20 November 2015

Mr. Gupta... If you say "No point asking that meek and coward person . he wont change at this stage.", then the only option is divorce. Not asking for accomodation. That will be disgrace to Sharren. 

 

Either she lives dignified marital life that is full of trust and love or the marriage breaks.

 

For that, she should not achieve anything forcefully and legally. Only moral and ethical ways will save the marital life. Legal ways are there to break the families. Not to save or unite.

1 Like

Sharren   20 November 2015

Mr Gupta u are absolutely right. you are getting the case perfectly. I need ur help much more.

Sharren   20 November 2015

Mr Gupta, I cant mention the whole case in text form. But Please try to understan it, Its all the game of my FIL to keep control on me and my Husband. He makes brainwash of my husband using emotional drama, u know, in presence of my husband My FIL behave like gentle men.

i.e- when I m in kitchen, while cooking, FIL come and says: " Beta..do u need any help, give me any subji cutting type work,I will do it for u, as u dont have MIL its my risponsibily to help u." using this type of buttering statements he comes in kitchen and comes very close to me for taking the knife instead of asking it from me. I cant even throw it to him, as my husband may misinterpret this behave but I get irritate by this everyday drama.  

Sharren   20 November 2015

one month ago, I teried to convince My husband to go separate from his father, but My husband gave social reason and lonelyness of his father.He is very " Sanskari" type. His father quarels very badly with me using very bad words but my husband never took objection against it. when I complain about it he would just give only one answer-" My father is elder then us, so we should tolerate him anyway, I dont want to hurt him, you should have " sahenshakti" like other women, not speak any single word to him as I will never tolarate anyone who give answers to my father"

Sharren   20 November 2015

these type of commitment shows that my husband dont have any more feelings for me. he just want a house keeper not a wife. 


(Guest)

Mr Prasad I  am not in position to misgide any one. The lady is mature  and marreid and can take ger own decision. But I am firm on one view. No compromise on dignity and chastity of any woman.

If she complains to hubby he doubts him and chides her. if she wranmgles with FIL he takes it back to son and provokes. Both ways woman suffers. When some thing go wrong it is lady who is blamed not the culprit man. So betterto stay out of the hell. or compromise. It is upto her. She can ask some respected family elder to intervene.  beyonf this alw is only possibility

1 Like

Sharren   20 November 2015

Yes, Mr gupta, i tried also to complain my hubby's grand paa, my FIL's sister, but coudt tell about his unnatural activities, i just told about his harsh words, they just took it normal and blamed me not being good sanskari bahu.

(Guest)

Lady,

 

Reading back all the pages of discussion you have been having here.

It appears that what you are craving is for a shoulder to cry and nothing more.

 

If you feel that you are being subjected to s*xual harassment, and if you want to take action against your father in law, go ahead with a police complaint.

 

If not, try making friends with your husband, as you wont get any better friend than your own husband,

 

Hope that conveys the message. 

SuperHero (Manager)     20 November 2015

You can break or build your marriage.

It is upto you. You are an IT professional and you know about the Law...too...

Don't start a Mega serial here....Rest is upto you.

 


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