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Sharren   19 November 2015

Harassment from father in law

I m 24 years old and my husband is of 25. both of us are IT Profeshnels. As a couple we didnt had any personel Problems but after death of my Mother in Law he has been completely changed. My father in Law giving mental Harassment and my husband also support him. as time passed he also started phisical harasment also as per his father's suggestion. I also have felt that his father dont have good character, all the time when I m in Kitchen he starres to me and sometimes also tried to touch me pretending that I was just by mistake. I tried to explain my husband such things but he didnt heard me started quareling with me. he and his father pushed me out of my marital home. currently i m at my Parent's home. what shoud I do? My husband is not ready to take me at home as he is too much engry. he is not ready to listen anything against his father. I just want me to take his father as it is, how its possible. I hate him.I m not ready to stay with him jointly.Please anyone suggest me some soluation so that I May save My marriage.


 43 Replies

fighter (Software professional)     19 November 2015

i want to reply can file criminal case on his father u/s IPC 354 for touching you with wrong intension.But it will be of no use.Because it will not be proved in court.and you will also harras in court procedure.

The simple remedy is take mutual consent divorce.You can start fresh life.Now marriage can't be saved as per my opinion,if you have no children.




Tell me following:
1.The home where you lived is owned by whom? is it rental or owned by your husband or father in law or ancetsral property?

2. How big is house . I mean, number of bed rooms. Who else stays in home? Do you have regular maid or male servant?

3.Is it duplex type or can it have a separate section physically partitioned from other portion?

4. Are you financially independent and can remain so for next 5 years?

5. Does your husband have brother/sister and uncles and wherethey live?

Now coming back to your issue. I have been writitng regularly about women issues and I mentioned earlier also that in many number of Indian homes specially in rural areas, brothers and father of husband rape or force themselevs on the bahu. IN many instances these are acceptable or accepted by rest of family.

After  death of your MIL he seems to have lost his control and mind both

So it would be better idea to file a police complaint and then get him to bind himself in police records for not doing anything as such in future.

Why you left home?This is mistake most women do and serve goals of her in laws.

Just file A complaint under Domestic violence ACT and claim residence order . You can go to a protection officer appointed by state government of your area or police and they will file complaint with Domestic Incidence report.You cna doirectlyappear before ilaqa maistrate/ women xourt magistrate in your town. Magistratewill arrange every thing inclduing free legal aid.

If there were no acts of dowry demand or cruelty dont get into this.Just stick to your rights.

It is good to plan everything and get proper counsel before you take next steps. As wrong action may lead to mroe misery and endless litigation.

There is great scope for amicable reconcilliation too, as no damage has been done to you.

Better talk to good lawyer. Dont pay huge fees demanded. Rs 20,000 to 30,000 would be ideal for a metro city.

In case you need support you may contact us.


All the best

2 Like

A walk alone (-)     19 November 2015

If you want to save your marriage then first stop talking your husband about his fathers cruelty. Convince your husband that you are ready to live in joint family. Now this time when your husband take you back if this thing happens again then try to collect evidence of cruelty like record voice of harassment. Take video recordings if FIL tries to touch. With the help of these recordings if cruelty becomes intolerable you can file DV or other cases. Above advice is only if you want to save your marriage because your husband will never listen you unless you dnt show some evidence like recording of your FIL harassment. Dnt file any case now first gather evidence then file.

SuperHero (Manager)     19 November 2015

Every house should be kept under surveillance and all houses in the world should install CC TV's.

Then every word and action we do is recorded..

Court need evidences..

No Son will accept if a Father does this to Daughter in Law..

Here is my suggestion -

Say sorry to your Husband and go join him. You should use your tactics and restrict your FIL..

Also better buy a good camera and record everything and you should be tactful.

If he tries to come and touch you. Try acting to take your left leg chappal..and he will fear and move away..

If he comes again, keep some boiling water handy and show him that or if he misbehaves throw some on his hand. He will feel the pain.

If your Husband asks why did you throw water, just tell him he only came to kitchen and touched water. If he needs anything he can call me and I can serve chai/koffee/bisket in the Living room if needed, he don't need to come to Kitchen for that..

One call would serve the purpose.

Even there are cases where self defense is accepted. Hope you understood what I am saying.

Wish You Good Luck!!!

1 Like

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     20 November 2015

Hi Sharren... I have a reason to believe that you have stated lie in this forum.


You want to get rid of your husband's father and so you are looking for a legal way to do the same.


First you stated that "As a couple we didnt had any personel Problems".


Then you stated that "as time passed he also started phisical harasment also as per his father's suggestion."


Then you also state that "I also have felt that his father dont have good character".


Is it just your feeling that your hunsband's father is bad or are you sure that he is really bad?


If it was really true, you will not state as "I feel". You will state that "he is bad".


If it was really true that your FIL is bad and your husband also supports it, you will not want to live with your husband. 

But, you want to live with your husband. 

How can you live with a husband who supports his bad father?

You have already done all the damage to your marriage. So, do not take any legal route to ruin it further and cause pain to everyone.

So, if what you say is true, please pursue MCD and leave your husband and his father at peace.


Or else, join your husband and live peacefully. Throw away the law and consider your FIL as Father, not as Father-in-law.


But there is a very less chance that your husband will accept you back after hearing such ugly comments from you about his father.


Your husband will have hard time to accept you irrespective of what you said about his father is true or false.


Either way you ruined your marital life with a major blow.


If you really love, trust and want to save the marriage, it may take many months and years of patience and consistent pursuance with your husband to get back his trust and love.


Finally one question. Do you think or believe that your husband also will look at other woman in your absence?


Prasad (Systems Engineer)     20 November 2015

If you take any legal route, you can harass your husband and his aged father and also get awarded money for the same. 


You can get money and even some residence by legal force from your husband.


But you will never get back your husband and marital life with the help of lawyers, police, judge and courts.


The last two posters are spewing venom against the lady . They need not express their hate for womens laws etc.

Give proper opinion to her . Legal or otherwise

I personally know of cases where brothers and FILs have been raping their daughter inlaw/sister in law in homes.

There is nothing great about this case. Specially if one lives in a small flat type accomodaiton and all males are on work and there is no other lady in house this is very fertile ground for such abuse.

Her relations have already become strained. As suggested by me earlier she can negotiate on 2 points:

1.Either they move out of house if belongs to father or vice versa

2. The father gives undertaking in writing to behave properly in future

But if she is lieing just to expel her father from house it not only is she committing grave sin but will suffer enough damages herself.

Leave it to her

She has enough options to move law besides mediation by some elderly mutual relative/friend whom her FIL regards.


2 Like

Sharren   20 November 2015

Thanks Mr. Gupta....

As per your requested information, I was living with them in rental home. No other lady is in home except me, My MIL has been expired 1 year ago

Sharren   20 November 2015

My FIL own a 1bhk flat which is given on rent to some person I dont know him, and we live in other tenament type house on rent, it has 2 badrooms and hall, kitchen.

Sharren   20 November 2015

dowery is not demanded, as they are educated enough that its againts Law.

1 Like

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     20 November 2015

Hi Sharren... It is not about how much space or BHK your FIL owns and whether you or your husband has rights to it.


It is about how much trust and love you and your husband have to each other that is going to decide your future marital life.


I have a suggestion. 


This is not a legal seggestion. Because, I am 200% sure that any legal action in this stage will ruin your marital life irreversibly.


If you do not want to stay along with FIL anymore, try this.


Find good time time with your husband and apologise with him for telling wrong about his father.


But tell him that you are not comfortable to continue living in same house as FIL and request him for a separate accomodation.


First establish trust and love with your husband.


Otherwise, you or anyone in this world cannot save this marriage.


I repeat.


If you take any legal route, you can harass your husband and his aged father and also get awarded money for the same. 


You can get money and even some residence by legal force from your husband.


But you will never get back your husband and marital life with the help of lawyers, police, judge and courts.


With due respect to Mr.Gupta, never ever try the following negotiation option as suggested by Gupta. You will break the trust of your husband for ever.

"2. The father gives undertaking in writing to behave properly in future"




Prasad (Systems Engineer)     20 November 2015

Mr. Gupta... You wrote "I personally know of cases where brithers and FILs have been raping their daughterinlaw/sisterin law in homes.".


Many of us know of as many more many cases where wives have given such false physical harassment complaints and how many men suffered because of the same.


We all know of cases where women have filed false cases of impotency against their husband.


So, my suggestion was considering all possibilities. This is not about insulting or mistrusting the queriest. It is about putting all aspects of a situation to uncover any missed or hidden information in a query.




Sharren   20 November 2015

Mr Prasad u are not interpreting the situations correctly, its its my humble request to you please stay out of this communication. I dont need ur help.thank you.

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     20 November 2015

All right Sharren. I believe I have given my best suggestion for your case. All my inputs and suggestions were based on my belief that you really want to save this marriage.

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