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lifequery (looking)     16 September 2008

do i need a divorce

Dear Sir, I got married a year and half back, it was an arranged marriage, in the same caste/community and there was no dowry involved. Pre-marriage things were good, I and my parents had the impression that the girl and her family are educated and civilized people, post-marriage however things didn't looked normal to me and there was some sort of tension visible in the girl's family. Later on my wife disclosed that she is not having good terms with her mother as she was tortured and mis-behaved with by her mother, at her home before marriage. Things like these about her mother and her brother were told by her. By no means had these things looked normal and I was totally puzzled. Then one day she told me she had a boy friend before and he gifted her gold chain, I told her whatever is done is done but don't keep any contact with him now. Meanwhile her family started behaving strange with me and she herself started picking up fights for no reason and started calling her parents for intervention when the arguments get heated up. She even misbehaved with my mother, when she came to visit us for a month immediately after marriage. My mother just asked her not to wear string tops and skin tights, was that so wrong that she made such a noise and started shouting and abusing her. I never said anything about her clothes and always respected her freedom to choose and wear the clothes she like, but requested her to wear something more acceptable and comfortable in front of my mother. Things like these started happening frequently and I decided to send my mother back home, thinking she will feel bad and hurt if these things continued, in reaction my mother got angry with me also. Anyhow, even after my mother left things didn't returned to normal, and I have to leave my wife to her home quite a few times, because my in-laws were getting aggressive and I had no means to show them what was happening at my home and who is at fault and my wife was getting hysterical day by day, I told my in-laws about everything even her ex-boy-friend, and asked them to advise their daughter. I don't know if they advised their daughter anything but clearly they started giving me veiled threats. Things got so bad afterwards that one day she ran off to another city without informing anybody, later on I came to know that all this happened with the help of her ex-boyfriend. Meanwhile, when I informed about my wife being missing to my in-laws they didn’t even co-operated with me, also they were indifferent and uncaring. However they would daily call me and ask me about what am I doing to find her, then on one pretext or other they threatened and abused me. Eventually my wife came back after 4-5 days. I accepted her back and not even once did I raised the issue of her leaving home, our life was peaceful for a month and then one evening she picked up a fight for no reason, finally when things got heated up, she threw a diary on me and walked out of the room. Puzzled by what is going on, I opened the diary; I got shocked to read that her stay during the run off was arranged by her ex-boyfriend. I couldn’t bear this lie and discussed the matter with my father-in-law. He came and took her daughter along. Since that day I am living alone and am unsure of what these people actually want. After few months I received a mail on my official email id, the mail contained the user id and password of some email account (containing my wife’s name in the user id) and in the subject line, sender asked me to read the inbox and sent items. I called my wife and asked her - what is this all about? To my query, she responded with a shock and ignorance of any such thing, and she even said she doesn’t have any such email account, I then decided to read out the mails to her, as I did so, I found out that those indeed were her past emails to her ex. When I confronted her with the names of people in the address list and the content of the mails, she broke down and admitted those were her past emails. One shocking thing I found written there was that she and her ex, married each other in a temple and the guy tied a gold chain around her neck. Also afterwards he sent her court marriage papers, which she signed and sent back to him. These and other intimate things were written in the conversations. Now she is saying that this was not a marriage as there is no witness and the court marriage didn’t happened as the guy never submitted the papers in the court, I am really at loss here and don’t know my marriage status and don’t know what to do now, I am thinking of a peaceful divorce by mutual consent, but she is not ready for this either, she is not coming back and neither she is giving me divorce, also now it has become difficult for me to accept her back into the relationship. I am feeling tortured everyday and nobody is helping me in this matter. When these facts were presented to my in-laws and their relatives, they dismissed them as false and asked me to go to court rather. I don’t know what to do; I wished a simple life and am faced with complex and manipulative people. I don’t know what kind of trap these people are setting for me. I want to know if I need to take divorce from he, because she was already married earlier. If yes, are those e-mails credible proof, admissible in court of law? Also she has not filed any case against me till now, but if I file for divorce then I fear she may file false dowry and domestic violence cases against me, I am unsure of their intentions and feel unable to continue in this relationship. On my lawyer’s advice I have obtained anticipatory bail for myself, but what will happen to my family members, if they (wife and her parents) file false cases against them, because anticipatory bail is not available in their state of residence. I want to get out of this problem and want to save my family as well. Kindly help me, I have heard that these kind of cases, end up in harassment, torture and money extortion. I am a well educated person with a good job, but still I don’t have this kind of money to give to these terrorists and neither do I feel the cases will be good for my career.


 8 Replies

Hemant Agarwal (ha21@rediffmail.com Mumbai : 9820174108)     17 September 2008

Chief Justice do not matters does not matter

I feel like laughing at your answer.

haa ... haa...haaa....heee...heeee....heeee...heeee....heee...hee...heee...hee 

Keep Smiling ...HemantAgarwal

Guest (n/a)     17 September 2008


anticipatory bail was obtained because, this is the only protection available, also in the event of my wife filing false cases, I'll end up losing my job and will have to face unnecessary harassment/torture at the hands of police, if i don't have an anticipatory bail.

and please sir, this by no way decides the culprit, if anything, this proves the terror and fear I have from my wife and in-laws. Having said this, this by no means be construed as the weakness nor should it be assumed that this gives me a culprit status. After all who wants to complicate his/her own life.

please this is my humble request to everybody to give their sincere suggestions on the legal aspects of the case, it's an emergency, at least for me, and i desperately want help. Anyhow thanks for your reply.

Himanshu Prabhakar (Advocate)     17 September 2008


do one thing try to locate and search whether she married earlier or not check court records etc., then you can file a criminal and civil case against.

if she is not married then you can file a divorce petition against her. dont worry for this you need not have to be on bail she she is living away from you since long and your parents are also not living with you.


lifequery (looking)     17 September 2008

what are the ways to obtain information regarding marriage registration? do i need to check individual courts for the information or there is some central place?

also, the marriage performed in temple, how to prove it and what all evidence i need to gather?

still if i file divorce case, then she can file false dowry and harassment cases, how do i go about avoiding these?

also please tell me, how to go about obtaining judicial separation, is it a better way????


yogesh (will tell you later)     18 September 2008

Dear Sir,

I too feel sympathy on hearing these facts but an individual you needs to be an optimistic .Truth always prevails no matter how the opponent strong may be for this u need strong determination and courage to fight for this

On going through your facts you please collect all material facts what ever even if they little valuation from copies of e-mail,bank accounts statements ,photographs as collectively it gives valuation before the Hon'be  court

As per Hindu Marriage act-1955 ,if any spouse left their matrimonial house against the consent one can approach to court for restitution of conjugal rights and on the basis of application court may grants decree to the respondent and ask them to comply the order

If the respondent fials to comply the order then court awrds divorce to petitioner with the burden on their side

AS said you had taken anticipatory bail that also holds good.In case any individual files wrong chrages to the family members of the spouse it will also treats to as "cruely" which is sufficient for granting divorce

If an individual implicates them by wrong charges he/she may also slapped charges against the opponent under I.P.C on getting acquittal such as fabricating false evidences,section 19-193 speaks in this regard and relevant sections also

As human one should think that he can misuse the law aast last he/she will also to paay for this!!


lifequery (looking)     19 September 2008

Many thanks for your suggestions and help.however still many questions remain unanswered, like, Is there any central authority from where the marriage registration details could be obtained??if I decide to take the matter to court, what approach should I take, judical separation, RCR or a direct divorce petition?I am willing to take more risk, but want early resolution of the matter, what is the best approach for me?Can I file several cases at the same time, like judicial separation/RCR and Divorce petition, marriage by fraud, cheating, defamation case, mental agony & torture? suggest me some more if applicable, since family members are clearly involved, how many people i can take to court and what could be the possible grounds/charges. I want to teach these b*st*rds a lesson.

lifequery (looking)     22 September 2008

 is this what i expect from u learned people???????????????????

yes it's my problem and i should be the one who should be solving it, is my asking for help, a crime?? it certainly does seem so, cos, people laugh & comment, but don't suggest.

u know what? everybody thinks that this is other's problem and will never happen with me.... keeping on thinking like this friends and reach nowhere....



Mrs. Hetal Sunil Shah (Advocate)     25 September 2008

Dear Lifequery

You have not given yr name. I am practicing lawyer in family Court and daily come across such queries.

First of all she had committed an offence under IPC 494 under which when one husband/wife is alive nobody can marry. File complaint under Section against her. You have been cheated so also file complaint under IPC 406 & 420. Collect all proofs and evidence, which are required and necessary. He diary and emails are solid proof. Also simultaneously file divorce petition under Section 13(a) of Hindu Marriage Act, seeking divorce. Also in criminal complaint of 406, 420 make party all yr in laws. The provisions of anticipatory bails are enough against arrest under DV Act. Also prepare Affidavits/Declarations as an evidence from your mother for all her quarrals and misbehviour that is required for defending all her allegations. Also take Affidavits of neighbours or relatives in this respect.

Keep me posted. Engage local lawyer who can file and fight case as above. Keep me posted on my email: advocate_hetalshah@yahoo.co.in or through this portal.

Also start sending MO of Rs. 1000/- per month as alimony because when she comes up with CrPC 125 it will be a good defence.  Inform me of all developments.

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