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RAVI (MANAGER MARKETING)     23 September 2014

Divorce... help required

Dear Sir / Madam,
 

Before my marriage we have decided below mentioned condition mutually.

1) I don't want any child.

2) If my wife want child then she will earn for the child.

3) My wife is a earning person. And if she want to live with me then she will take her responsibilities.

4) If we do not want to live to gather in future, then she will not take any money from me.

 

My wife was agreed at that time.

After that, as husband, I do not take any single rupee from her in last four years. Also, we are having a child.
I also take all financial responsibilities of Wife and child. But between 4 years, because of some incidents, now she want divorce.

Now, she is demanding for money.

In this case, I have written message from my Wife, that, She will take the responsibility of child.


But if she demand for money, then what is the act? And I also lost my job right now, because of her only.

They are also trying to make influence in my life. Calling their family members and using rough language.


Now, what is the procedure to come out of this and also make settlement?

 

Required your help.

 

Thank you.

 



Learning

 12 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     23 September 2014

@ Author,


1. 
It is very interesting private agreement made between you two which has no legal sanctity right from its signage by you two is my view. 


2. 
You infact broke most of the joint agreement is also my view; a child is born when you both agreed that you do not want child. When child was born you started meeting expenses for child breaking your own agreement and so son so forth are happening in backdrop of such flimsy drafted agreement ….


3. 
Coming back to Law in hand, it is very simple and well defined; if she is not earning an sufficient income to support herself then you have to support her even though presently you are not earning as your earning capacity status will be considered read with minimum wage act is my view that your position person can draw and same will be announced in an Order of the Court in favor of other party / minor. A minor child needs to be supported by maintenance based on earning of both parents which a Court will also decide in due course if case is filed. 


4. 
In such situation it is always better to have both families come together to resolve the matter instead of approaching Court. If either of you reach Court then Court will Order on maintenance to wife (if not working sufficient income) and for parties minor too and litigation fees will be spent by parties along with lot of time spent in litigation too which are result of not amicably resolving issues and approaching Court happens. . 


5. 
If you want settlement then both of you can sit and decide first on custody – visitation of parties minor and then decide set amount as one time permanent alimony for minor and/or wife and part ways via Mutual Consent Divorce route which needs hiring a local advocate found via reference and such divorce takes lesser time compared to contested Divorce. 


Make an informed choice. 


[Last reply]

Jimmy (Manager)     24 September 2014

  • "2) If my wife want child then she will earn for the child." 
  • Very Interesting agreement. When did you last go for a mental check-up?
  • TajobsIndia is the best person to guide you in this matter.  :)

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     25 September 2014

The provisions of mutual agreement - whether written or oral not clarified - have no legal sanctity.  But some parts  of the agreement, like non-payment of maintenance to her can be enforced, if she is working.  you can't avoid to pay maintenance to the child, whether you wanted the child or not or you want custody or not or you are employed or not.  You should be forced to pay.  Permanent alimony that goes along with divorce depends the financial status of both the parties and the employment status and not depended upon the mutual agreement.

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     25 September 2014

1. After marriage its natural that every one will be interested to have their own children 

2. but what made you to make such an agreement before marriage and before having marriage for such an agreement

3. that to that she has to earn for the child who is born out of your wedlock

4. to explain above points first you make clear about the agreement before marriage 

geetha (none)     26 September 2014

What a strange marriage. But I believe our country do not honour any kind of pre-nupital agreements. If your marriage was done according to hindu rituals, then a man is responsible for providing for wife and children. We all recite these mantras in sanskrit without knowing the meaning. But they are actually promises given to each other and accepting responsibilities.

Were you thinking straight when you entered this marriage with unreasonable agreements with your wife ? Yours must be a love-marriage. Your wife must have been deeply in love with you to accept those conditions you put forward. You already proved that you are not a heartless man by providing well and caring for your wife and child. Why not continue doing that?

Without children family life will be boring and couples become aimless. Childless people wait in queue for adoption. Your family life is what you make out of it. Try to resolve the issues and make peace with your wife. Breaking hearts will not take you any where good. When your child grows up and learns that you had all these silly conditions put up for a marriage, he/she will have a good laugh at you.

Just imagaine if your father had ever made such agreements with your mom. How would that feel ? Wouldn't you think your father as the most immature person ? Now if you and wife together give your child a good life, these things are only a joke. If you get divorced and live separately, and later when your child learns these things it may create enmity in their heart. So learn to make wise decisions. There is a day in everybody's life when they are judged for their actions.

RAVI (MANAGER MARKETING)     26 September 2014

Dear All, Thank you very much for your reply.

RAVI (MANAGER MARKETING)     26 September 2014

Dear All,

This is my second marriage. But from my wife end, it is love marriage. She knows me from last 12 years. And she only want to marry with me only in her life, after knowing my nature and everything of my past life.

 

I have taken all financial responsibilities of my family. I know the law and our Hindu Sanskriti. But when I was in pune, company provided me flat, I was also earning well. But my wife want to make her career. But because of my product sales is not much in Gujarat, there are chances to loose the job. I also informed my wife regarding that, and she told me that, there is no need to take any family tensions. She will help me out. And I trusted her. After that, I lost my career also. I lost my job also. Now I want to take responsibility, but I don't have money. And if she is not ready to take responsibility as per her promise, then? Who's fault is that? I don't have to make trust on my wife? Because of family and her demands, I lost my career? There is no meaning of trust in our life?

 

Now, she want divorce and do not want to spent single rupee in home. Right now she is at her home from last four month. I tried a lot to convince her. But is this the good thing, when somebody trust on her wife and for her career, I lost my career. Right now I am earning, but not very much. I lost so many thing, in my life.

 

Their family also ready to take divorce and ready to sit with family members and decide the amount. But I want to fight because of my daughter only. I also lost my mother when I was 3 years old, because of her cancer only. No doubt, my second mother is very well. And I don't have any problem with her. But I know the truth also, what happens when second mother or father comes in life.

 

Is there is any mistake to make trust on wife? And lost my career. Now, I don't have any income. Also she is earning well, she can take her and daughter responsibility. But they also want divorce and money. Then, what about my daughter? If child can't understand so many thing, and can't speak, then is it correct to take her father's love from her? And also make trust on wife? I want to fight because of my daughter only. I am also not filing case, because I am waiting for correct time. I think, our life should not concentrated by money. Money made for us. We are not made for money.
 

My daughter will lost her father, because I make trust on my wife. I had taken all my responsibilities very well. And spent so much amount after her career and my child also. But I don't want to give her divorce. I am waiting to file a case by my wife.
 

They want money and divorce but I told them to go to the court. Because I think, there is not justice with me and my child. People family life should not only based on money.

 

Family also lives on footpath, small villages. But when I don't have money, then I am guilty? There is no meaning of my life? and my daughter life?

 

Please advise. You all are also family members. You all know, what is the meaning of trust. And what you feel, when someone breaks your trust? This fighting is not for money, this is for trust only. I can pay money at single time, but I want justice for me and my daughter.

 

Thank you very much for your help.

 

Waiting for your valuable reply.

fighter (Software professional)     26 September 2014

She don't deserve you.Take divorce and don't give single penny.

geetha (none)     26 September 2014

India is a Patriarchial country. Responsibility of providing for the family lies on the shoulder of the Man, even if the woman is earning. By law your wife is not ought to run the family or even raise the child with her money. That goes against the tradition and the Law of the Land.

Some Western countries have Laws regarding Marital Property, where in both spouses are held responsible for running the household. So if a partner suffers a financial setback, the other is expected to use his/her income to run the household. India do not have a Law regarding Marital Property, and Shared Marital resonsiblities. So It is your responsibility to set your career path straight, and do not demand that your wife take care of the expenses of child or you.

I suggest you resolve problems through third party counselling, instead dragging it in the court. You wil look very dumb in the eyes of the law due to the stupid conditions you had in the marriage contracts, which is a plus point for your wife, and court will favor her.

RAVI (MANAGER MARKETING)     28 September 2014

Dear Geetha

 

Thank you very much for pay attention on this case.

My topics are as per below.

 

1)      I have taken all the promises from her, because this is the love marriage and trust on each other. But I also know the Indian Laws and our Hindu culture. That’s why I don’t take any rupees from her in last four years. Even though she is earning well.

2)      I never told her to pay any rupee for run the home or food or for daughter.

3)      She was earning at the marriage time. And we are living separate from my Mother and Father. After marriage she was also earning. And she is very tired when she does the house work and also earning. I told her to left the school teaching job and do the tuitions only. And she fought with me a lot. After that she left the job.

4)      After that, she realizes that, she is not setting in both family life and her career. We both were decided to shift to Pune. And my company provided me good offer. They provided me company house, and I was also earning well. But after some time, because of mis understanding we fought and she came to Ahmadabad and told her mother that, I told her to leave the house. I also cleared their family members, that, I don’t have told that, she has taken that decision by herself only.

5)      After one and half year she came back with daughter, and told me that, she wanted to shift to Ahmadabad. I denied and told her that, now I set in this job and company has given us accommodation also. We will set here. But she repeatedly told me that, she wanted to shift to Ahmadabad and their family members also told me that, if I will not shift to Ahmadabad then my wife will give me divorce. Then after me and my wife take decision that, if she want to make her career then she can shift to Ahmadabad. I will come later, when I got another job. But she told me that, I don’t have to take any financial tension, she will add the money what she will earn. I don’t tell her to spend her money. But she has taken this responsibility, and I think that, if our family life sets, then no problem. And today time is different. Both husband and wife are earning. I told her, okay I will shift to Ahmadabad. And who will not trust his wife?

6)      Now, I have spent 4 months in current company, and I also found new job in Ahmadabad. But same product. And I have to leave the job within 6 months. I also shifted from Ahmadabad to another place because my package was good. I told my wife, to not do the job. Because there is no need of money. And when I lost my job, I started to work in call center in night. I told her to not take any financially tension. We both will earn.  Because loan is also there, and as per your commitment, you have to start tuitions. And now, she told that, she is not ready to live with me. Because I don’t have job. And not able to take responsibility. And I replied, this is our mutual understanding, you will help me, because you wanted to shift to Ahmadabad. And now by small matter she left the home.

7)      Now she wants divorce. And also want money. They are ready to solve the matter between family members. But you tell me that, is this correct? I don’t have told her to earn. She has taken responsibilities by herself.

8)      When our family members meet at their home, they use some sediment, and also her uncle told me that, they will do my murder. Her mother also tried to beat me twice, and create violence. I never used any bad language or also not done any violence with my wife. But this is the scenario. My wife is using “Harijan”, “Vaghri” words as sediment when she was angry. But as per Indian law this is the wrong. Any one can’t use this words as bad language. Her family members also encourage her to do the so. When I told her that, this is not Indian culture and she can’t use this words, because this is not “Sanskar” then her mother tried to beat me. Is this correct?

9)      This is misuse of trust, and also doing violence in Home. I want to solve this matter between family members. But she is demanding money.

10)   You told me that, It is my responsibility to take all financially responsibility. And as per our last family members meeting, I told her that, till I am ready to take all responsibilities. But we have to shift to small town.  And we will take admission of our child as per our income. But she is not ready. Now she want to make her career and also wanted money from me. As per Indian Marriage Rules, wife is partner of her husband in both happiness and sorrows. Now she is not ready to spent bad time of my life. Which she has created by taking all financial decisions. I repeatedly told her that, if I left the job then we will be in financial trouble. And she has taken all financial responsibilities. To set family life and save my daughter future, I compromised.

11)   I know that, if this case goes into court, I have to pay money.  And I am also ready for that.

12)   But I want to take this case into the court. Because time is changing. Our Hindu Laws are made, when wife was not go out home and do not make her carrier and not earning. But at this time, this is different culture.

13)   In fact this is misuse of the Law. And Law is made for people. And it also changes as per time and culture.

14)   I don’t know what will be the judgment. But I want to fight for my daughter.  Because as per law, wife can’t leave her husband because of money only. And she also doesn’t want to shift outside Ahmadabad and not ready to live with my current income.

15)   I am also not filing the case. And I am also not giving her any money from last four month. As she is earning and living at her home. I told her that, if she wants to give financial responsibility to me, then she has to stay at my home. Otherwise if she wants only money, then she has to file the case against me. I will also not file the case of any violence or divorce. Otherwise my daughter future will be spoilt.

16)   After all money is made for us. We are not made for money. She can’t say that, my husband doesn’t have money, and she doesn’t want to live with me. And if she wants money, then this is misuse of Law. I am ready to fight in Court.

Thank you.

Soman (Dy Manager)     28 September 2014

I have taken all the promises from her, because this is the love marriage and trust on each other. The agreement you made before marriage shows that you do not trust her; so please don’t preach about trust.

 

I told my wife, to not do the job. Because there is no need of money. And when I lost my job, I started to work in call center in night. I told her to not take any financially tension. We both will earn.  Because loan is also there, and as per your commitment, you have to start tuitions. You believe a lot in commitments, advise one way and use promises as per your wish !!

 

They are ready to solve the matter between family members. But you tell me that, is this correct? No, no.. this must be dragged in the court for 4-5 years.

 

I want to solve this matter between family members. But she is demanding money. I know that, if this case goes into court, I have to pay money.  And I am also ready for that. How do you propose to resolve this?

 

This is my second marriage. But from my wife end, it is love marriage.

Dear Mr. Ravi,

I do not want to know the reason for your first divorce. And trust me, you don’t need any advice; only treatment. All the best.

geetha (none)     29 September 2014

Mr. Ravi,

You are a very confused person. I think it is part of your personality. You are afraid of intimate relations and find it hard to trust women/intimate partner.

Your wife is not receiving from you, the moral, emotional support needed to maintain a close relation to you. In a give and take relation like marriage you need to give trust to get trust. You don't trust her, she wont trust you. By demanding money she is trying to compensate her losses. She is getting the emotional support she needs from her family.

You need to undergo therapy, resolve issues originating from the loss of your mother. You never had trustworthy women in your life and you are not able to connect to women.

All the best. [Last Reply]
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