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Anonymous1 (fjslfj;)     11 October 2010

Cruelty?

Dear Learnered people,

 

Husband files an RCR and sends a copy to the wife & her parents. Wife and her parents asks the husband to return back all the utensils, gold and siver ornaments given during the wedding. Husband agrees and asks them to collect it from the matrimonial house.

 

Wife and her parents comes to matrimonial home and  remain silent till the time all the things are loaded to the truck. Once loaded, they make a huge scene, shouting at the top of their voices, taking sand from ground and throwing it up in the air absuing the husband and their parents in front of the house and in the middle of the road. All neighbours watch this.  Neighbours know husband and their family for more than 30 yrs and have high regards for the husband and their family. They try to console the wife and her parents but they continue shouting and leave the place with all the articles.

 

Neighbours of the house assure the husband and his family that they are ready to come and testify in any court about the barbaric behaviour of the wife and her parents.

 

Does the action of wife and her parents amount to cruelty and can the husband file divorce on this ground?



Learning

 15 Replies

aflatoon dash (health)     11 October 2010

yes it is .Public humilation and uncivilized behaviour degrading and berrating the husband and his family members is cruelity.I hope you have taken the receiving of the itms before loading on the truck.

aflatoon dash (health)     11 October 2010

dont file divorce on this account.Have patience.Sublimate ur energy in more constructive things,building career ,saving money building freindcircle,developing hobbies and self growth.

Anonymous1 (fjslfj;)     11 October 2010

Hello Aflatoon Dash sir,

 

We have tried our best to reconcile, but everytime this is what happens. They come to our house, shout at the top of their voices and go away. There was one more such instance before this where they went to the level of pulling the "mangal sutra". These kinds of things have nevery happened in our family and we are mentally dejected by their attitude and behaviour.

 

The only way left for us to bring in peace into my life and that of my parents is to cut this relationship once for all. I know this is painful, but we are in a situation whether to live with the pain or to pluck the pain off.

 

Do you see any problems if we file a divorce case?

aflatoon dash (health)     11 October 2010

yes I agree it is disturbing as the family background and the emotional quotient of the family of your errant spouse is poor.She may create following scenarios for you.

  1. Not give divorce to you  and not come back to you at all.
  2. You will have to spend at least 2 to three lakhs as lawyers fees in various courts.
  3. You will have to pay her alimony which is not easy .

I suggest have patience.If thier behaviour is upsetting then you should not loose balance of your mind.But document carefully whtaever they do and say in diary date wise.Remember its along battle.Dont panic and get provoked .If you are not provoked by thier anger and maintain cool then you will  be in better mind frmae to deal the problem.

Even then you feel that you want divorce then be ready to pay alimony and loose at leat 3-5 years of your youth.

Self service (None)     11 October 2010

Immediately file a police compliant clearly mentioning incidence and not to forget they hav etaken all belongings.

This will help you in future.

File divorce money you can earn later do not go with RCR as such things will come back you later.

Take pain for few years instead of spoiling whole life.

Police complaint will help you later in divorce as well as protection of all future wrong doings.


(Guest)

Cruelty by mutual consent is as good as a mutual divorce. READ HMA thoroughly.

Anonymous1 (fjslfj;)     12 October 2010

hi Brutus,

 

Sorry i didnt get you..what do you mean by Cruelty by Mutual consent??

wringle (hhh)     12 October 2010

I think that man has forgotten the fact that he SHARES his world and earth with animals. animals are the other residents of earth and need to be respected. killing animals for fun shows the insensitive nature of the humans. man is considered to be the most intelligent of all creatures. but, i think he is the most cruel of all.

 

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chanakyam (Consultant)     13 October 2010

Anonymous,

First come to a firm decision whether to live together or get seperated.  Based on that you can plan your strategies.  It is as simple as that.

Anonymous1 (fjslfj;)     13 October 2010

i dont want to live with her any more and would like to get separated

Jamai Of Law (propra)     13 October 2010

@anonymous ji,

 

Dimag ko thanda rakhiye.

 

You may be taken for a ride for your straight forward but hasty decisions

You filed RCR and also 'dealt out of court' on your own and returned items. It's ok from certain perspective. But weakens your RCR case.

 

Neighbour's testimony is a lengthy stuff to talk....but challengable as 'biasd and prejudiced' against wife and not credible also............ Wud your mom ever speak against you in court? even that is the truth!!

 

try to reconcile with wife to the fullest extent.....only if there is a clear signal from your wife that there is no future to your marriage ......during councelling session at court.....then offer her for mutual consent divorce and end the chapter.

Are there kids out of marriage?

 

Don't react....you making your case weaker by that.

Consult you RCR lawyer before doing anything. especially during bargaining.

But ensure that you don't show to them that you are exausted.

Anonymous1 (fjslfj;)     13 October 2010

Hello Jamai of Law sir,

 

Thanks for your comments. We did speak to our lawyer when my in-laws informed us that they wanted to take back the items.

 

"Neighbour's testimony is a lengthy stuff to talk....but challengable as 'biasd and prejudiced' against wife and not credible also............". --> This is what pains me a bit. Courts wont believe if I say, court wont believe if my parents say, courts wont believe if my relatives say and courts wont believe even when the neighbours say..the neighbours were the "eye witness" of what happened when they took back the articles...then what will the court beleive?? i think court will believe only when the girl by herself come and testify that she did involve in some brutal acts..

 

No kids out of marriage yet. Its just been 11 mts.I agree i wouldnt react and wouldnt show that i am exhausted.

Self service (None)     13 October 2010

Well, Neghbours witness is very much meaningful and credible. Court believes that not only believes but in many cases SC /HC accepted maids/peon/watchman/neighbours as natural "witness" of incidence.

To prove them worng is other parties responisblity otherwise court believes every thing produced.

Jamai Of Law (propra)     13 October 2010

11 month old marriage in this state!!

 

Just get out of this mess.

 

You lost her items..........fine!!...write it off from your mind (don't think like builders who think 'less profit is like a loss!')

 

Aur bhi mouke milenge. to you.

Road ahead is tougher to your wife (as female)

Convince her for mutual consent.

Ensure that consent continuess upto 2nd motion, and upto decree, and upto limitation period for appeal.

 

I know a guy who took his wife for dinner and made all drama and made her give consent to mutual consent divorce under the garb of 'better future', 'if thoughts don't match Why to fight?' and 'why waste time?', 'We both know all the tricks to harrasse each other if required' but 'why to drop atom bombs on each other? will it serve any purpose? Havn't I returned you all  your items honestly? Don't try to squeeze out more...you may get it frankly ....but at what cost?'

 

Without shouting, word make a lot of difference.

Why Do you think that people wud show sympathy to  you? that too  for a marriage in such a state in just 11 months?

Who ever bothers to find the truth?.....logically sympathy first goes to female....and it shud.

If u have to gather sympathy..first get cowed down as a drama atleast....

tutunga lekin bilkul nahi zukunga!! won't work here for males. 'sir salamat to pagadi pachas'.

 

Also Don't start looking for another girl immediately!!! grow your beard instead! have a booze regularly! and things like that....walk around like a devdas for while !! It would help.

 

If you have guts, Go to your wife and tell her that 'she actually deserved a better husband than you!! and wish her that she gets it." (which unfortunately would hurt her in fact b'cos she knows well that finding a better husband is even tougher....Hence this vengence comes out by women. So is the situation for you.....You wud also get out of 'primary market' of shaadi..probably .......but not as tougher as females still perceive it for themselves...)  

 

Each married woman in india has been given such a variety of legal weapons by the indian laws....ke......wey agar chahenge......... tow husband ko douda douda ke mar sakati hai!! But most of them are very very considerate honestly.

 

Spiteful attitude can create problems on both sides.....both sides are capable to bounce back.....and capable to spit the venom when you/she are vulnerable...


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