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zimmerzapper (student)     18 June 2012

Indian men make best husbands: russian feminist

 

 

“The best grooms are from India.” This is not the tagline of some Indian matrimonial agency, but the much-publicised view of writer and publicist Maria Arbatova. A few years ago, she created a bit of splash by declaring with panache that “it’s time to start importing grooms from India to Russia.” She returned to her favourite theme recently at a workshop in Estonia titled, “How not to be Alone,” sparking renewed interest in the desirability of Russian women marrying Indian men.

Ajay himself picked a red velvet traditional Indian dress for Elena. She was pleasantly surprised when the dress fitted perfectly and even decided to break with the Russian tradition of wearing a white dress at her wedding. Photo from personal archive

Arbatova, famous for the television talk show “I Myself” in the 1990s, should know better. She has been married to an Indian for several years. It’s her third marriage, and she glows when she says it’s the happiest one. Shumit Datta Gupta, a financial analyst who speaks excellent Russian, has already been living in Russia for more than 25 years. Arbatova is his second Russian wife.

“My husband has undoubtedly retained all the best traits of a true Hindu. He is open, considerate, religious while having a degree in physics and generous while working as a finance manager,” says Arbatova. “In many ways, he is stronger than me on the inside. Shumit looks very gentle on the outside, but if he’s made a decision, it’s useless to argue with him about it.”

arbatova

Russian writer Maria Arbatova with her Indian husband Shumit Datta Gupta.

Above all, Arbatova appreciates Indians for their gentle, humane qualities. “Indians love anyone who is accommodating, but they especially love children. In Russia, Jewish people are considered the most caring fathers. Compared to Indian fathers, the Jews are simply callous, cold egoists,” says Arbatova. “In terms of character, there isn’t anyone in the world closer to us than the Indians. They are just as open, lazy and dreamy.”

The demographic crisis in Russia and the badly skewed s*x ratio –- there are more women in Russia than men -- have lent her pet idea about importing grooms from India added credibility. “Indian men are a better match [for us] because they’re closer to Russians emotionally. Besides, the success of Indian soap operas in our country suggests a similarity in the idea of a family of Russian provincial girls and Indian suitors”.

Although Arbatova only talks about Indian grooms, many in Russia pitch for Russian women as ideal wives. “Russian women remain a dream and a lure, an infallible investment for overseas entrepreneurs, an invaluable export item and a major tourist attraction,” gushes Svetlana Kolchik, deputy editor-in-chief of the Marie Claire journal in Russia. “Why else would they dare to come to our cold and unpredictable lands? ... Russia still offers a unique gender relations ambience that combines the best of two worlds: an intriguing blend of emancipation and tradition,” she carries on in a poetic strain. We masquerade our incredible inner strength and endurance with a soft, at times very vulnerable, façade. It's part of our feminine mystique: we play it weak knowing we are perfectly capable. We encourage men to carry our bags, bring us flowers, fix our cars and even run the country.”

Poetic flights apart, the reality is somewhat more sobering. The number of marriages between Russians and Indians has never been particularly high, but it has always remained stable. Even back in the Soviet times, when there was a ban on marrying foreigners, the attitude towards marrying an Indian, as a citizen of a friendly state, was positive. After the fall of the USSR, the situation became much simpler.

In Moscow, for example, roughly 25-30 marriages with citizens of India have been registered each year for the last ten years, and this number is growing.

The most famous Russian-Indian couple:

roerichrani

Svyatoslav Roerich (the son of artist Nicholas Roerich) and Indian actress Devika Rani (who played the role of Kasturi in “Achhut Kanya”) married in 1945.

Cultural differences have not come in the way from romances evolving into Russian-Indian marriages. Take the case of Vivek and Irina, who met while studying at an institute of the Academy of Technology in a small city outside Moscow. Irina’s knowledge of India was limited to a few Bollywood films. Irina remembers how difficult it was for her to remember the names of her fellow Indian students since they sounded so strange to the Russian ear. Several years have passed, and now she is fluent in Hindi which she learned in the first four years after marrying Vivek.

Unlike Irina, Elena never had the opportunity to live in India for a long time and has never travelled there for more than a month. Her husband speaks Russian so well, however, that this is the primary language spoken in their family. Ajay learned Russian on his own. He came to Russia for work. Elena met Ajay in St Petersburg in 1998. She took an internship at a company where Ajay was the acting director. The internship ended, but Ajay continued to call her and ask for a date. When he decided to marry her, he travelled to India to receive the blessing of his parents. As a sign of consent, his mother gave him a golden chain for his future bride. Ajay himself picked a red velvet traditional Indian dress for her. Elena was pleasantly surprised when the dress fitted perfectly and even decided to break with the Russian tradition of wearing a white dress at her wedding. After signing their marriage papers in Russia, the newlyweds departed for their second wedding in India before settling for a while in Belarus.

For Vivek and Irina’s parents, it wasn’t a major shock that their children wished to get married. The couple had been dating for many years and their parents were already mentally prepared for their wedding. The first wedding was organised in Russia according to Russian traditions, while the second wedding was held in India in accordance with Indian traditions.

 “There is a compromise in mixed marriages – we must learn from each other as the first few years are a grind. Then it becomes easier to live together,” says Elena. Her son Nicholas wears a chain around his neck, with both the sign of Om and an Orthodox cross.

 “When he gets older, he will have the right to choose whom he identifies more with. For now though, we are observing the customs of both countries,” she says. “In our home, Orthodox icons sit side by side with the images of Hindu gods,” says Irina. “And our parents are fine with this.”

While living in India, Irina fully embraced Indian cuisine and stopped wearing all the clothes she had worn in Russia. Since Vivek’s family doesn’t eat meat or eggs, which are part of almost every Russian dish, all the recipes had to be borrowed from Indian cuisine.

Elena also came to like Indian cuisine. Armed only with a book called “Indian Cooking”, she wrote down all the necessary ingredients and asked her husband to buy them. It did not quite work the first time, but she soon evolved into a master cook. Now, when they visit Ajay’s sister, people make special requests for her to cook something because everyone loves her cooking.

Famous children from Russian-Indian couples:

Ben_Kingsley

Actor Ben Kingsley (born Krishna Pandit Bhanji), the recipient of an Oscar, Golden Globe and BAFTA award, was born in England. His father is of Gujarati Indian descent, while his mother is of Russian-Jewish descent.

91,140 marriages were registered in Moscow in 2010, with foreigners taking part in 10,416 of them.

Foreigners marrying Russians in 2010: Ukraine (3,151), Moldova (988), Armenia (920), Belarus (812), Uzbekistan (775), Azerbaijan (651), Tajikistan (496), Kyrgyzstan (254), Kazakhstan (228), Georgia (321). Turkey (200 citizens), Germany (185), Israel (137), Vietnam (112), United States (96), United Kingdom (86), Italy (81), France (72), Serbia (64), Afghanistan (58).

Chacha Rybas,

 

source: https://rusembassy.in/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2547%3Awhy-best-grooms-are-from-india-russian-feminist-unravels&catid=16%3Apress-on-bilateral-relations&directory=155&lang=en



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 13 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     19 June 2012

It seems you love these kind of news items placement here................(for giving ideas to Lawyers Collective and or to their famous prodigy Rashmi Anand  does it ring last Sunday's AK's TV show bells.........)


It is marketing gimmick of packaging old wines in new bottle story dear as
human trafficking world over had same aroma, packagign are different but storyboard never changes its sheen, previously Korean brides were hot as in order a bride circuit then came Thai / Burmese brides and this social trafficking story from what is left of Russia
today is going strong even after shutdown of several Russian mail order bride websites which mushroomed in its peak days!


Europe is off limit for virgin girls from dozens of Russian States now that as per EU in Europe 25-year-old waitress who turns down a job providing “s*xual services” at a brothel in Berlin faces possible cuts to her unemployment benefits under (controversial) State laws introduced way back in 2005. Under Germany’s welfare reforms (law made in 2005) any woman (married / un-married no exception dear readers and kindly do not think to import this grandiose social reform now to India as if DV act import straight form US was not enough for you the husbands) under 55 years age who has been out of work for more than a year can be forced to take an available job – including in the s*x industry – such as operator in a phone s*x call center - or lose her unemployment benefits (I know its distorted parallel in India is called our great multiple maintenance laws in the name of Women Empowerment). The government in several European countries following the copycat reforms from Germany
have considered making brothels an exception on moral grounds but decided that it would be too difficult to distinguish them from bars. [That means our Sainik Farms on outskirts of Delhi NCR famous for capital's rave parties now that Mumbai has banned its midnight jamborees and on same note  capital’s famous FBar at Ashoka Hotel for the moment are saved thank heavens I was wondering where to spend my weekend this week :-]


As a result, job centres must treat employers looking for a prostitute in the same way as those looking for a dental nurse is on-going mantra in Germany and many European States (now even in Nordic countries this welfare reform has reached and you will be schoiked to hear about them and feel how safe heaven is India compared to overseas States). Great, if this recent economics if imported straight into
India so now the government can be your pimp is what I mean here. Well all we the gentlemen in India think how about giving decriminalization a try?! It is about time India experiments decriminalization of our oldest industry!!!!

 

 

Well now that American's have understood what actually they are getting into via the mail order bride expose as one sees in 2 Brothers & Bride film of 2004  and Discovery Channels Russian Brides documentry of 2006 which showcaused the sorry stage of erstwhile Russian states virgin girls (as would be brides), it is India's turn now as if we didnot get our history lessons straight from what happened in Doaba (Punjab) disaster just not that long ago! 

 

 

What was the fact behind Doaba (Punjab) notoriety of yore tin world stage to take lessons from? Our stud NRI's were invited to Doaba and were paid $ 10K (actually to get PR status for local girls and later rest of the left out relatives of her would have migrated one after another on relative status to Canada / UK was the plan that went wrong someplace) and theses NRI's invitees lived like kings for a week in Doaba regions had quick Gurudwara marriages while still in transit from Delhi airport to Doaba riding special en-suite AC toilet super shock absorber luxury 2x2 coach overnight as soon as they landed in Delhi followed by making weeklong wild loves with virgin Doaba girls as their official brides and then they left overnight richer back to Toranto / UK where they used to ride their taxis is what they were actually doing as their occupation in Canada / UK with a bag full of $ 10 K in those days - did we now need to learn lessons from mail order brides from erstwhile Russian countries !!!! 



Let me remind you some 2 years back a Russian wife to an Delhi based husband filed DV complaint from her Karol Bagh Hotel room as per filed Memo of Parties and such transit jurisdiction was admitted by the then
Jstc Dhingra of Delhi HC :-)


This is not feminist movement touching a new testosterone peak my dear
@ zimerzaper as you cleverly put tile upon the news, it is called in Wall Street English "economics of arrangements".

Ranee....... (NA)     19 June 2012

pehle istemaal karo phir biswas karo!

Arjun Gupti (Business)     19 June 2012

And INDIAN WOMEN make WORST WIVES (thanks to 498A) !!!

1 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     19 June 2012

but our dear friend nina rakheja says her indian husband cheated her

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     19 June 2012

 

Originally posted by :Ranee.......
"
pehle istemaal karo phir biswas karo!
"

 
Toh fir clean and dry par biswas kiya ja sakta hai aab ?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Originally posted by :Roshni B..

"


but our dear friend nina rakheja says her indian husband cheated her

"

Offcourse, since her husband has a toy pistol under his belly as she herself says we believe gospel truth of a drongo.
Reasoning:

The enemy of my enemy is her friend.



Ta ra rum pum pum.......

Ranee....... (NA)     19 June 2012

what is this drongo mean?what nina believe and why ?how nina is surviving with such husband which are not grounds of divorce in India..

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     19 June 2012

if hubby has any such ailment which causes nuisance and lack of attraction towards the spouse,i think it becomes ground for divorce.she had said that he is sevely constipated and belching all the time which causes foul smell in the house.will anyone want to be near someone who spreads his khushbu like this?

 

then his conduct,ie,sitting on internet all the time,threatening her with toy gun,forcing her to marry him despite his old age and baldness become cruelty.

 

so either he goes for hair transplantation,yoga for his digestive problems and some secret ayurvedic therapies to become young again,or he allows her to leave him thru mutual consent.

Ranee....... (NA)     19 June 2012

 

drongo: In australia, a person of ill-repute.

since Nina is from Australia, she might be a drongo.

 

but I thought    Dr+on+go=drongo

with some hidden meaning..


(Guest)

Thanks Roshni.. m from Australia yet not a drongo as some person saying continuously so! I am very much upset with my old fat  hubby who is after my dashing boyfriend...he can't keep me happy nor allowing my bf...my life is like a hell now...he even can sit well because of piles..

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     20 June 2012

Indian men make best husbands for women of Western countries.

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     20 June 2012

@Nina.  There is no pre-nuptial agreement in Australia which says, if husband exceeds the weight limits that he ought to be in, the wife is eligible to divorce?:)

N.K.Assumi (Advocate)     20 June 2012

Sitting and enjopying the post like a good game.

JAYESH (Sr. Executive HR.)     20 June 2012

nice discussion is going on...


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