Consultation needed for divorce decision

heloo namita...

u r standing on the verge of making/breaking ur marriage...first of all be calm...and i would like to tell u that s*x is 90%psychological process and 10%pysical process...i can understand tht u r right now frustrated and feeling cheated and in dillema...its normal...so first try to relax urself and calm down so that u can take proper decision...now wht shuld u do??

see s*x is based on ur bonding so think tht how was the start of ur marriage..if there were any quarrels or misunderstandings???may be these things have given any sort of mental block to ur husband...so he is unable to perform intercourrse....talk to ur husband abt this..keep ur and husbands family away from this matter for a time...try to solve it on ur own...talk to ur husband...may be he is having some psychological or may be some physical problem...

so to rule out psychological problem try to build trust and confidence in him abt urself...talk to him wht he feels abt u and marriage...meet some psychologist or marriage counsellor...

and if still feel that problem persists than u shuld tell ur husband to meet a s*xologis but u can do all this by taking him in to confidence....if its proved that he is impotent than u shuld think abt its medical or psychological treatment but everything depends upon both of u as a couple...

now regarding law i think u shuld use law as a last option bcs once u will step in to court ur marriage will break for sure which u will not want to do right now...u can file a divorce case on basis of impotency and seek compensation but i suggest u tht u both shuld try to find solution of ur problem urself and u will succeed in making physical relation...

and want to tell u tht divorce brings a lot of PAIN which u cant even imagine now...so dont try to run for it..give time and try best to solve this problem together...bcs u r in a very sensitive situation  right now...all the best.tc.

@ raj malhotra : GOOD ADVISE

@ Namita : u should follow advise of raj malhotra

further, lastly - law is stated for u as : 

Hindu Marriage Act, 1955

12.       Void able marriages

(1)       Any marriage solemnized, whether before of after the commencement of this Act, shall be voidable and maybe annulled by a decree of nullity on any of the following grounds, namely.-

1[(a)     that the marriage has not been consummated owing to the impotence of the respondent ; or]

(b)       that the  marriage is in contravention of the condition specified in clause (ii) of section 5;or

(b)               that the consent of the petitioner, or where the consent of he guardian in  marriage of the petitioner 2[was required under section 5 it stood immediately before the commencement of the Child Marriage Restraint (Amendment) Act, 1978(2 of 1978)], the consent of such guardian was obtained by force 3[or by fraud as to the nature of the ceremony or as to any material fact or  circumstance concerning the respondent ] ;or

(d)       that the respondent was at the time of the marriage pregnant by  some person other than the petitioner.

https://punjabrevenue.nic.in/hmrgact(1).htm#Voidmarriage

PROPER ADVICE BY RAJ..

TRY ONCE MORE.KEEP DIVORCE AS LAST OPTION.GIVE HIM MENTAL SUPPORT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS..

Thanks Malhotra sir for reply.

I agree that this problem should be solved my me and my husband keeping our families away. I had tried this step, I have already talked to my husband very calmly and politely. I even gave him assurance that I am in No hurry and I will co operate you fully and I will not tell this thing to either parents, I will always be with you. That time my husband also appreciated my understanding and patience and he promised me that he will come with me to Doctor/counselor. But within 24 hrs of my return to India, he changed all his colors. He did not even contact me for 15 days, when I reminded about his promise to go to counselor, he said I am not answerable to you and talked to me very rudely.

So I am not sure if he will agree to come to counselor/doctor. I am ready to wait for 1-2 years also but wht if he keeps on saying No to go to counselor? What if he dosent call me at his home once he is back to India? right now I am forceffullty sent to my parents house. All these questions are distressing me :(

Hi Namita,

Let him come back and if things don't imporve, ask for nullity of marriage.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

sister calm down...may be ur husband is also depressed and confused like u ...u both r sailing in same boat and u both have to find solution to it...rest everyone can only advice...try to show to ur husband tht whtevr he is feeling ...u will help him to get out of it...ok .tc.

how u have contributed in overcoming his psychological needs? is it a one way show?

 you only want s*x in your marriage?

you felt cheated and want divorce and his money!!!!!

Debasis,

Please read the complete mail before commenting.

Don't level insinuations, don't look at the world from the eyes of what you have gone through.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

Sure,

S*x is very importent (if not everything) in a married life. Just to add:

Although the lady has not elaborated, wats the exact problem in performing the act, but most of the times, biggest cause of impotency is PSYCHOLOGICAL, hence curable. Event stand alone erectile dysfunction is easily taken care of by little blue pill. There may be other medical causes too, only the qualified doc can tell.

Now, u said that u have been very very supportive to him 2 overcome his psychological barrier. He badly needs a qualified professionals help. If he is repeatedly avioding going to seek help+ his family is also not taking it seriously, U SET-UP A TIME LIMIT & THEN ACT. No point wasting ur youth beyond a certain point.

Go for MCD (if ur genuine demands are met). its shortest & least painful path

Or contest for nullity of marriage!

Debasis,

Please read the complete mail before commenting.

Don't level insinuations, don't look at the world from the eyes of what you have gone through.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

Thanks for being so agreeable.