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help_divorce (SC)     24 October 2010

Child custody

My estranged wife has filed a divorce petition under cruelty. She has separated from me since 4 months and has been staying with her parents. She has no valid grounds of divorce. I have been trying to call her back through friends and relatives, but she doesn't want to live with me and has filed a divorce petition. I have a 17 month old kid and he is in her custody. She doesnt allow me to take him out for a walk or for outings. If I try to visit him at her place, she and her mother keep abusing and provoking me by using foul language. Isnt't there any way I can get my child's custody? In the past 4 months, I would have hardly met him for an hour. I do not know what to do, as she is taking full advantage of the child in her custody. I love him a lot and for no reason I have been separated from him. 6 months prior, I had even taken a 20 yr children's policy for him, but now he is lost and I am helpless, can somebody let me know what can I do?


 16 Replies

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     24 October 2010

File a petition seeking visitation rights to meet your son. He is just 17months old, he needs mother's care and attention more than anything, so you won't get the custody, so apply for visitation righs only.

1 Like

chanakyam (Consultant)     24 October 2010


Its only 4 months you got seperated right? I can understand about ur love on your child, but in this situation be balanced and dont take any offensive steps, because it may worsen the situations.   I hope, there is chance for both of you to get reconcile and lead happy married life.  First go thru the grounds and on what basis the divorce has been filed and if possible you prepare a restitution of conjugal rights if you are willing to continue matrimonial life.  Meanwhile try to mediate with your elders.

help_divorce (SC)     24 October 2010

With respect to visitation rights, how frequently does the court allow the father to meet the child. I would like to keep him in my house at least for 2-3 days in a week, will the court grant that? If that is not possible, I would at least like to take him for outings/to my home for a period of 3-4 hours daily and spend time with him. Will that be possible?

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     24 October 2010

I don't think the court will allow you to keep your son at your house for 2-3 days a week, you'll be only  allowed to meet the child. In your application you pray for rights to meet him everyday, but it is the discretion of the court, whether once in a week or how may times in a week you will be allowed to meet your child, also whether you'll be allowed to take him for outing or just meet him and play with him in his mother's presence or at some neutral place will be decided in the court order. .

help_divorce (SC)     24 October 2010

Why is law biased towards woman with respect to child custody? Why is it that I cant be allowed to take my own child for an outing? Before all this happened, I used to take him to gardens and parks, now suddenly I need permission even to meet him. I am not his enemy, I am his father, still I need permission to take him for an outing. I cant any decisions with respect to him eventhough I am his father. My estranged wife needs money from me and purposely doesnt go for a job, nor does she allow me to meet him. What kind of justice this? I am a civilized, law abiding citizen, still I need permission to take my child for an outing!!!! I have done no crime, still I cant even enjoy the childhood of my child!!!!

chanakyam (Consultant)     24 October 2010

Sometimes, being a husband for an unscrupulous wife is a crime..!  in the present society as law is misused by them.  So, there is no way left, except legal fight.

help_divorce (SC)     24 October 2010

My son enjoys my company and likes playing with me. I also have several snaps of us(me & my son playing & enjoying each others company) together before this incident happened. What factors does the court take into account before deciding when, where and how I can meet my child? Also will the court grant me rights with respect to taking decisions for him? For e.g. I would like to send him to a good playschool for few hours once he is 22-23 months old as he enjoys other children's company. Currently my estranged wife simply keeps him in the company of her old parents.

aflatoon dash (health)     24 October 2010

  1. Act fast.
  2. try to keep channel of communication with your wife
  3. Apply for visistation and then try to excercise what ever comes your way and then try for modification of your order.
  4. Get the visitation for grandparentds also after your visitation.
  5. Find aforce ful lawyer not a sweet talker.
  6. Educate yourself on PARENTAL ALIENATION.




WOW! aflatoon dash

Good advise!!!!

Kunal Mukherjee (Father)     06 November 2010

I am sorry but you will now have to PROVE that you love your child. So -

1. Get an effective lawyer

2. Get witnesses who can testify in favour of you NOT BEING an abusive / violent / goonda etc. father

3. Move, move, move, move ....FAST, and

4. Pray

dhiren (india)     17 November 2010

Dear all, I would like to seek ur advice on this following matter. I have a friend of mine.. she is married to a man since 2009. (Love marriage) against the wishes of her parents. The boy is irresponsible one and he once had slapped her before marriage and behaved rudely. After marriage the both shifted to boys house, where his parents used to often quarrel with her. Even she was beaten also. the boy does not support her. He works in mumbai and seldom visits her. 

Now both have a 6 months old son, The boy never cares abt the son and does not come to meet his wife and son. He hardly calls them or meet. The girl is now in her parents house and does not want to return to her in-laws. The Boy now continuously pressing for divorce from her wife. and asking for custody of his son whom he never cared for. he is very irresponsible abt his family. and never shows care for them. 

Please suggest what recourse the girl can take

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     17 November 2010

If the girl does not want to continue with the marriage, the go for mutual consent divorce. The custody of the son shall be given to the mother only as he is very small baby, so no need to worry about it.

dhiren (india)     18 November 2010

Great Thanks to you Adv Archana for ur valuable feedback. But no sooner the child gets older, the father may claim the custody of the child. She does not want to get part away with her son as her son is the only support she can live upon. The father of the son is very negligent and never even shows care for the son her mother.. He works in mumbai and did not visited to his wife and his child on this diwali occasion.  He always threatens her of divorce. The parents of the boy are adamant to get their son re-married to another girl.

He sends her wife threatening text messages abt divorce and claiming the child back.

In the above situation i would like to seek your advice Adv Archana.  I would like to know ur views on the highlighted text above. Please suggest any recourse to retain the custody of her son . Please

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     18 November 2010

If the father does not care for the son, then he may be threatening to claim the child just to pressurise her for getting divorce. What does the girl want? Does she want to continue the marriage or go for divorce. In your previous post you said that the girl does not want to return to her in-laws. So, if she is also willing for divorce and the husband is already pressing for the same, then talk to him that she is ready for MCD provided he consent that the child shall remain with her. Also the issue of the custody of the child is also decided at the time of MCD. If the husband is keen to have divorce, he'll surely agree. And in the present case, as the child is very small, the court shall give the custody to the mother only.

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