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Jitender (NA)     12 February 2013

Being victimised on account of 498a/dv, need help..


My brother has got married in dec 2011. Within a month of marriage he found that his wife had a forced marriage which she admitted herself during honeymoon. Her behavior was rude during marriage ceremonies but we couldnot judge that. She had an affair with her colleague and wanted to marry him but her parents forced her to marry in same caste.

My brother was running a bad phase and he lost his job in Feb and is almost out of job for 11 months. Within 2-3 months (apr '12), she renewed discussion with her ex-friend and discussed all homely issue with him, on almost a daily basis. My brother got to know and suggested that this is wrong and she should understand that life do have tough turns and be patient. She has been writing love letters to her friend over email and sending secret messages (that once my bro got access to). She had a habit of writing a diary where she mentioned that she is not happy with marriage and may run away. She used abusive language against my brother and put all took out all her frustrations in that. Before my bro could take a copy, she teared off her diary.

The issue he later discussed with family members on both sides and this time she introduced one of her uncle for mediation. She talked all non-sense regarding my bro behavior and also abused him for not willling to work. The uncle was a lawyer that we came to know later. After negotiation that she admitted to change her behavior and forget the past and gave a written apology to us. But she was more cauitous and was hiding more thngs about her family background.  Later we found that she had correspondence degree (lied to us) and she has been absconding in one of the company. Her family have been fighting all the tiems with neighbours and do not have a good rapport. (We could not do any background check)

Now in Aug, she filed a Police Case for all false reasons - Dv, Mental sick and Dowry, did all the abusing late night at our residence. My bro went for mediation and it went well since he wanted to patch up.  But, she failed the mediation once he was not able to make up due to medical reasons. Now she is threating for dare consequence and wants to go to court. We are in discussion with IO that its falsified case and she do not want to listen. IO has directed to approach girls' parents for settlement.

Please advise what should we do. My brother got few job offers but later rejected on account of this running issue for last 4 months. He has gone in depression and always remain lonely.



 24 Replies

Rahul Kapoor (Legal Enthusiast)     13 February 2013


do not worry about threating.

u just need to fight back your case on merits.




Jitender (NA)     18 February 2013

We had a family meeting with girls family yesterday.  During the meeting girl and her mother were blaming our family with all the false allegations. Finally , they said that we can settle if you give us 10L in cash. When we said we wont be able to give that much, they simply walked away saying , we will file FIR.

My questions are:

1.  If a FIR is filed, is it must to go for Ancitipartory Bail.  As this costs over 50K per person as one of the lawyer said, it won't be possible for us to spend that much money. What if we dont go with AB ?

2.  The girl repeatedly said in Women Cell that she has no issues with others in family in front of IO. Can she still file a case against all the family member just to take revenge ?

3. Is there any way we can cancel or stop filing of FIR ? We have some evidences against her where she has apologized for her rude behavior and some recordings as well?



Rahul Kapoor (Legal Enthusiast)     18 February 2013


lawyers charge 50k for bail of all persons whose name is there in the FIR.

if you wont take AB then might get arrested.

she can file cases and register FIR but later it can be quashed on merits.





Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     18 February 2013

get AB. let her file case.  Offer her mutual divorce so that she canget rid of the relation which she does not like and you be save dof the humilation.

Harsh (Manager)     20 February 2013

agree, AB is a MUST. what is the gurantee after settlement she  wont file a case?

your brother is not working, so 10L is definitely a lot of money. dont give anything yet.

get your AB, frustrate them to tears.  they should feel the initial defeat otherwise they go strong.

ask your brother  to start working immediately, dont halt your life just because of some random bi*ch.

she should be begging your brother to set free or she should disappear with her bf.

your brother should show his dont care attitude, this is the time to do it.

R K........ (Analyst)     22 February 2013

I will suggest you to settle it amicably.. Pay some money and get rid of such people and get married again.. DOnt waste money in AB and court cases.. just call few people from their side and some influential people from your side and settle the matter by paying some money and file for mutual divorce.. I have passed through all those things.. i know the pain in attending court and police stations..



Agree with RK...unless case is registered, dont go for AB.

try to get in an agreement for MCD.

stanley (Freedom)     22 February 2013

Paying money is not the solution to the problem else you become a milking cow for each and every situtation. With the same amount of money you can contest the case . Why do they file false 498 A isnt it for abstraction of money . Let her file the same and when it comes to evidence stage how will she prove it :-) . When you cant pay 10 lacs how can you expect to go to MCD since in MCD they again drag you for a settlement in terms of money .

After MCD too they can ask for maintaence under change of circumstances 


You have to contest the case although we all know it is time consuming and your brother also has to take up a job so that he is able to fight the case and should have the resourses for the same . 

From your post i understand that she has a boy friend so i under stand that she would get desperate for a divorce as she wants to marry her boy friend and hence she herself may propose for MCD where you can accept without any alimoney :-)

Jitender (NA)     22 February 2013

Thanks to all of you who made suggestions. 

There are few latest updates in our case for which I need some advice. May be some of you experts and experienced may be able to throw additional pointers.  You help is utmost needed at this stage as we have been threatened with FIR and arrest. Whole of our family is very tensed. We are a respectful and always had a good societal image everywhere. Everthing is set to tarnish.

Based on above comments, My brother first insisted that let girl file FIR and he will fight for his innocence. He said, why should we scare if we haven't done anything. What proof she can give if nothing was done and regarding money, instead of giving 10L as milkcake to their family (so that they can marry her to ex-frnd), rather he said, we will fight and shell out money to lawyer for justice and that too, in installments. This will even reduce the financial burden and in the meantime, he said - if I get a job it would be easy to disperse money.

Now, there was a flip side to it - from some experienced ppl. One of the legal advisor also said - Even though your bro will have less financial burden, it will increase his and whole family's stress level until the cases are closed (wht he meant was she will file several cases agianst him). She will deliberatly file FIR to include all the members (even if she says noone was involved, its a trick), and then all family members (ladies incl) will have to go to court and get humiliated, it will affect them morally and psychologically. Additionally, the expenses in court  will be almost equivalent but your brother will lose his time to get remarried if he is already 30+. 

Additionally, girl may claim maintenance since she has deliberately left her job.  Even other wise, she may be in job but could demand her court fees from you if she can prove her salary is lesser. Tomorrw, ur brother gets good job, she may claim 50% of his salary (again will be less if she is also earning). This would mean ur brother may not want to work at higher salary or ready to give her some bucks every month.  Moreover, its a state case, so she may not have to appear , but your bro and may be family have to appear regularly and cannot travel outside Delhi. The only disadv may be she will lose her time. Lets say if she begs to him after 3yrs, your bro would have undergone more trauma then her and finally what he will gain ? This is what ppl advised - 'settle amicably at whatever less than 10L and go for MCD and have a new beginning'.

I once again request all the experienced person / senior advisors to share your advice. I am writing this because 10L is quite heavy amount for us (average salaried ppl). Getting loans from friends , relatives or banks is the only option but possibility is less. Please suggest. 

We tried talking to IO and she is not listening and saying that you talk to girls family directly. She is pressurising us that they will file FIR in 2-3 days and then your bro career will go for toss.




1. Buy some time, drag on the discussions with the girl relatives as they still not have filed the case

2. See if there is an amicable settlement possible even if its not, dont close the communication channel, keep talking to her, let her abuse, no problem, but keep talking...if possible record her conversations, when your brother talks to her, talk some sense to build evidence.

2. Meanwhile serve the divorce notice immediately based on cruetly, even pressurising for false dowry cases also mounts  to cruelty

3. Once you serve the notice, 498a slowly dies, be strong and be a man..no false case can withstand a man's will

Harsh (Manager)     22 February 2013

why will  your brother's career go for a toss? is he a govt. employee?thousands of guys are

facing 498a, their career may be affected but didnt go for a toss. believe in god and goodness,

things will work out for your brother. otherwise there would be lootmaar everywhere :)

females falsely implicated may have to go to court, true, but a good lawyer can also get exemption.

going to court itself is not humiliation. Good and Bad - these are two entities in such places.

you should also win the PP and the judge's attention - they know the cases are false so they have

sympathies for you.

girl claiming maintenance etc. all this is possible yes. but not so easy for her - 10L is almost

14 lacs pre tax. even if you give 20K per month maintenance, it will take 5 years  to pay her 10 L,

she will be married in less than 2 years, so only 2L maintenance.

with little struggle you can keep your head high and survive this. your each strong reaction will

break their confidence, bit by bit.

ultimately you need to decide - cost of settlement  and the cost of courtcase/stress etc.

one thing is clear  - life is never smooth, if not 498a, some have health problems, some have financial

problems, some have other. you cant escape problems and expect a smooth life always.


my immediate suggestion:

dont talk about proofs etc. just say you are innocent.

you can talk to the girls side and just keep bargaining on the amount (be

nice and polite, request them beg them whatever but try to get the amount as low as possible).

in parallel get your AB. if you save 50 thousand in the bargain, cant you spend it on a good advocate?

once you get the AB, you have a strong ground for further negotiation.

cases can be settled even after FIR is filed or trial begins.

read what other victims are doing and suggesting.

when you start winning, you will see the difference between a winner and a loser.

your bro can get married again, 30+ so what?

those who have nothing to do with you or the case - will always have plenty of

suggestions (I am referring to relatives/friends etc. not members on this forum).

ask your self - if someone is robbing you and IF YOU CAN stop, will you not do so?

if there were no solutions at all, then of course you have to bend. but if you can, you should defeat.

even when you buy vegetables, you bargain to save few rupees, you check 3-4 shops.

you are the best judge, balance what she wants and what you can give.














1 Like

Harsh (Manager)     22 February 2013

when you win, you can ask them to take 10 tons of SHIT from solid waste

till them treat them as powerful and you as the weak one :)


Please dont let extortion happen. Not for you but for other's sake who are fighting since years. Its just a game of 1-2 years and then girl side start realising that they have done a mistake by filing such false case. Ask them that you can only give 2 lakh, accept it or file the case. Keep reminding them that you have proof and you will fight till Supreme Court. Just think that if after 1-2 years you come out of this mess without paying a single penny to these leeches then you can be an idol for lakhs of people fighting 498a. You will gain self confidence for next 30 years by fighting and defeating it out.

I have been in same situation since months and have decided to fight it out rather than paying a single penny to them.

A man will be A MAN till he lives :-) its the girl, who needs to worry about her rottening EGGS.

Give them 3 options only:

 1. MCD

2. 2-3 laks or

3. Court battle.

1 Like

Harsh (Manager)     22 February 2013

there is another aspect to this

if you pay 10L or any large amount you dont wish to, it is not your brother who will get married next.

SHE will get married immediately and go for her honeymoon. would you want that? while your brother is

still depressed?

Even if your brother is free, how do you know he will find another girl soon? that may also take

6months or more. so , wait, drag the case, and WHEN your brother finds a girl to marry

you can try to bring them to a settlement. until then keep fighting. depending on what kind of girl you find,

you may change your mind and be ready to pay a good amount and get rid of the waste.

so no need to settle immediately, you will be the loser.

she will laugh her way to her bf's arms.

there are solutions to every problem, you will find them here on this forum itself .

please start searching.


and ask your brother to start working,but dont disclose it to anyone. you can keep

telling he is out of job. if she wants maintenance also, she needs to prove he is working


498a ka solution seedhi ungli se nahi nikalta. Best of Luck.

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