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iniya (house wife)     24 August 2011

498a and divorce should i compromise and save wrong doers...

I had written here before about my 2 years of unsuccessful tormoiling marriage journey, with money minded MIL and a husband who is not interested in conjugal life. And about the way I was thrown on streets with all drama for money and my husband intentionally called my parents that I had eloped/ran away and they dono if i am alive (i was actually on streets outside their house) then my parents rushed to pick me. We lodged a complaint in nearby police station and inlaws were called for compromise but they askd for 6 months time so the complaint and police was put on hold. But instead my inlaws started spreading all kind of rumors to spoil my name, also sent divorce notice saying I had given false complaint and that why police dint proceed. Even after this we tried compromise but they are rude and say they had decided to look out for a better prospect and they had decided I not equally compatible  (if so why did they marry). I had suffered so much cos of tis that i was actually admitted in clinic for spolingin my health due to depression, stress and not eating properly. At this juncture judge has recently given court directions to file my previous case under 498a 307 and execute arrest of accused.

Even though my husband has sent divorce notice and 3 counsellings over, he says he is not ready to give divorce till i withdraw 498 case (even counsellor has asked if he is using divorce as tool to escape 498a, if it is false why cant he fight) Now I dont want to compromise on 498a orders given by judge and I want the accused who killed me live to be punished (that I shiver every night and take sleeping pill even after 6 months of seperation from them)  at the same time I need divorce for which please  suggest which of the two ways is better

1. is it possible that in counter and also during hearing I just say to judge I also want divorce kindly grant. If this is the case will my husband demand to quash 498a. since its he who has gone for divorce can not I take divorce without any demands from him by just accepting the divorce..(even if he demands cant i just state if he wants divorce i too need divorce but 498a be decided based on merits, since main grounds he has claimed in divorce is saying I had filed false 498a, if so why should he fear, he can take divorce and prove 498a to be false in court right -- pls not strong evidences against him to prove 498a case is genuine thats why they are afraid)

2. or if above said is not possible then by Not attending divorce proceeding here after and just file a counter and allow exparte can i take divoce(can he easy withdraw his divorce petition is he sense tis)

friends kindly suggest...


 5 Replies

k s prabhakaran (advocate)     25 August 2011

getting divorce from a killer husband and continuing with a 498a case is a different things. If you want to punish him go with the criminal case and lead evidence, but dont use a bargain tactic as used by your ekiller husband to go scottfree, he will go for another marriage soon, let his face the truama of trial he cannot getaway easily with the criminal case. If you dont want to live with him whu you hesitate to divorce you file a divorce petition for whic h cruelty is a ground for divorce

iniya (house wife)     25 August 2011

Thanks Prabakar for your advice! Yes i know divorce and 498a are different, and I dont want to forgive the accused at any cost.Also wana get relived from the mess by getting divorce as soon as possible without any alimony.

It is clear from the opposite side that their intention is not divorce but to escape from 498, if so, can my husband still withdraw divorce petition after I file such a counter. Cos he has threatened me to drag divorce till he is safe from criminal cases. Is it possible as he says ?

This is where I am struck. My doubt is, in reply to his divorce petition if "I state his cruel acts and plea that too need divorce kindly grant the same  but I dont need any alimony also let the 498a be decided on merit" then will the family court judge grant divorce or still hold the case if my husband insist withdrawing 498a?

Vijay Nayak (NA)     25 August 2011

Think of your future, fight to make your life beautifull and bring smile back on your face. come out of these  issues. your mail clearly reflects your mental stability.

Female Activist (housewife)     25 August 2011

hey Iniya, you can always put counter-claim in 23a of hma, saying that divorce should be granted on ur terms and not his. i think u r not getting good advocate and that is y u r in such problem. contact me at i would guide you. don't leave dowry seekers and criminals.


@ Iniya Mam please give divorce to your husband on the grounds of cruelty and desertion. It was good decision of filing 498a against him. Go ahead God is with you. Attend court proceedings with mind and not with heart. Plan a beautiful future and lead a life of dignity

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