Ravana (Director) 05 May 2012

10 days into wedding and want separation

Good Evening,

After much googling, I came across this website and really found it useful. Hoping to get feedback from the seniors and lawyers on this forum regarding my situation.

I live in Canada and my parents wanted me to get married. So I agreed for an arranged marriage. The girls family was also from the same city and I thought, ok, at least my parents will have a social backup in case it is needed.

This was in December 2011. I met the girl and her parents were very sweet talkers. Her father is in goverment service and pretty senior ranked and I thought, good, that is the type of family I want. The girl was fat and I raised a point about that and her mom said that dont worry, I will take gaurantee of her weight and will make sure that by the marriage, she reduces.

InApril 2012, when I flew down for marriage, I was shocked to see that she has grown twice in size and instead of losing weight, she had put on weight. I did not say anything as all invitation cards ahd gone out and the relatives had started to come. I guess that was my biggest mistake. I should have refused at that time.

I had told the girls parents that I do not believe in Dowry and it is a shameful concept and I don't want any. My only condition was that the marriage should be done in a proper way and respect for my relatives should be properly given. Sadly, the marriage arrangemnts and everything was way below par and I got the feeling all the time that something was not right somewhere. My father even volunteered that in case they ahve money issues, we can take care of the arrangements. But her father said no.

So eventually, I got married to this girl. A couple of days later, her family started showing her true colors. Her father started threatening my dad and said that he has tolerated us enough and he will take care of him. The girl was a puffed up balloon and I talked to her about losing weight and she kind of refused to lose any weight. So all in all, my parents are not happy and they are being threatened. They are feeling very guilty about the fact that all this is happening because of they had pressed me to get married. And off couse, I am stuck with the girls family and the girl herself.

Now I am back in Canada and it has been 10 days since this marriage happened. I also registered my marriage once I was in India so that I can eventually put in the papers of my wife's sponsorship so that she can come to Canada.

I do not want this matrimonial alliance to continue. I am not happy and knowing the girl and the family, I will never be. I am a very simple guy and all these mind games and star plus/sony tv type family drama episodes get on my nerves.

I checked and the only course of action is divorce. But I am afraid that if I initiate it, her family will counter by throwing a dowry case as I have understood that they are very crude people. A good post does not mean that you are a good human. I am worried about my parents as they are there in India and I am here. I have advised my parents to seek legal help in India and see what can be done. But I also wanted the feedback and input of people on this forum.

Any thoughts/advise are deeply appreciated.

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9 Replies

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker) 05 May 2012

the marriage is already solmnized.

10 days / months - it doesnt matter now -

is the marriage consummated ?

if not, then u can file petition seeking annulment of marriage u/s 12 of HMA.

but for this u have to make the girl scapegoat. (i.e. u have to prove that the marriage is not consummated due to the impotency / fault of the wife)

u should have thought about her physique well before marriage. complaining now is futile.

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker) 05 May 2012

u can not file divorce petition within 1 year.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate) 06 May 2012

as per the narration of the facts by you, she is the victim of matrimonial offence and if she files Section 498-A case and DV case against you, those cases are not false cases. My full sympathies with the lady.

Ravana (Director) 06 May 2012

Thank you Ashish and Sam very much for your insightful comments. I will advise my parents to watch out and record any kind of threats. All in all, I guess I have to wait for one year to file a divorce anyway. I checked and it seems that the marriage cannot be annuled now.

bhima balla (none) 07 May 2012

A question for folks-a hypothetical-sorry may not be connected with the case per se.

If after marriage a woman/ man puts on weight and is deemed unattractive by the other spouse. Now they have no s*xual attraction. Can this be ground for divorce? In other words-if becoming overweight (without any causative medical condition) to the point that one is unattractive to another physically- does this amount to cruelty to the other spouse? This is in light of judgements where denial of s*x has been considered cruelty and cause for divorce.The overweight spouse's refusal to take measures to reduce weight-can it be considered cruelty to the other spouse?

Please no comments about marriage being eternal, attraction of the mind, sacred, sacrament etc etc

manish (cdsdfasd sdf) 07 May 2012

@ravana,

you chose a good name... :) Ab pachtavey kya hot jab chidiya chug gayee khhet??? Why did u marry her man? it was not her fault. Entire fault lies with you and if you think divorce is a cakewalk - wait till you file it..

take that lady wth you and get her to reduce if tahts the biggest issue. you cant juist abandon her

Ranee....... (NA) 15 May 2012

Hi Ravana,

I could not get your point..My only condition was that the marriage should be done in a proper way and respect for my relatives should be properly given.

What kind of respect you are talking about?This is an insult for her parents that your father wanted to help them financially..those who dont have any self respect takes money in this way..

regarding her weight you should have reject her before marriage..anyway there are lots of scientific weight loss ways are there...why dont convince her to join one of them instead of thinking of divorce?

**Victim** (job) 16 May 2012

Buddy without even worrying about wht's going on in india you should start withdrawing sponsorship file right away coz once she gets interviewed and then she gets visa she will come to canada but you have 2 years to withdraw her petition based on change of circustances. I suggest you do that first and then think of what so ever is going on in india.......