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Woman quiting job wilfully, not entitled to alimony: hc

Page no : 2

bhima balla (none)     05 June 2012

What they failed to understand however was that God in his infinite wisdom had made the fingers and toes the way they were so they functioned optimally to serve their individual purpose. They were all equal and important in their own way! They did not realize that Men and women were made differently by God or nature to serve their individual purposes. In that sense they were' equal and important'.

Man and woman had different strengths and weaknessess.If God did not want it that way he would have created hermaphrodites!

Chandrasekharji-you had explained saptapadi and its meaning in another thread. Saptapadi is the essence of Hindu marriage-because it signifies union of man and woman, in both body and soul. It embodies everything! Through this marriage and union of body and soul one completes the other. One complements the other, not compete-as envisaged by the  woman empowerment and 'equality' brigades.

Through marriage- man and woman augments their strengths and negate their weaknesses. The harmony thus brought about enables them to perform their responsibilities to each other-follow their dharma and enable them to do their karma. Such union helps them not only beget but raise healthy morally competent children.

Through this they were equal to each other in their own way, they were inseparable!

'Old traditions' understood these!

bhima balla (none)     05 June 2012

Old traditions understood the 'Tao' or the way like it was meant to be! The new 'equality created and pushed for by the brigades lacks such wisdom. In an effort to solve problems arising out of their effort too create their notion of ' equality' they have solutions which are causing newer and more serious problems.

Unfortunately we are throwing away diamonds and keeping rocks because somene else said that these were 'real diamonds'

There is no anti man or anti woman. Man and woman were to function harmoniously when one understands the 'Tao' the way and the dharma. Unfortunately we as a society have lost that 'way' in the mirage of chasing an unknown 'equality' of some people!

bhima balla (none)     05 June 2012

Since we have embraced the notion of 'equality' as pushed by the 'equality' brigade and abandoned our own wisdom, we are forced to incorporate their solutions to every problem created by their actions. In other words we are being forced to follow them!

Like I said we have thrown the diamonds and kept rocks, in our safe!

All we need to look at is at our own traditions and apply in the modern era to reorient ourselves and to bring back the harmony.

bhima balla (none)     05 June 2012

My posts are aimed at bringing out the absurdities,inadequecies, inconsistencies and problems associated with the 'equality' movement and its effect on the society

Sorry: Had to divide posts since LCI shutdown on me when I posted it whole!

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     05 June 2012

@ Big iron :

 

As per my understanding, Jeevansathi is somebody with whom you can share you happiness and sorrow, somebody who will stand by you when you are 60+ years old. When you are young and beautiful, you can have so many partners but marriage is about your whole life (At least as per Indian Hindu culture) and we need somebody to talk and take care of each other when we really need it.

 

Excellent! Sometimes I do think, why human beings are being detained in the cage of customs and traditions like this.  Imagine a society where any man can enjoy any woman and any woman can enjoy any man and have consensual s*x, and nobody talks bad about such men and women.  How much people can enjoy in such society.

 

And men and women earning their own livelihood without having to depend on others live independently without marriage enjoying their lives with whosoever they want to enjoy s*x. 

 

But if the social order is like that, how children will be born?  What is the scheme related to procreation i.e., giving birth to children and raising them?  Will they be owned by either man or woman?  Can children in such society enjoy the social security that an institution of Family gives?  Children can be brought up in residential schools as well.  But it is a different experience for them if they enjoy the social and emotional security given by parents.  Residential school can make a child, tough mentally and help him to deal with situations of life more efficiently.  But is that the reason why we procreate?  That every human being is born and brought up with the sole purpose of facing situations in life with great deal of toughness and make money?

 

If children are born, they should enjoy life.  They should go out and play when they are 5 years or 10 years old.  They should enjoy the love given by parents.  They should make friendship with birds, trees, flowers and animals.  They should not be brought up like machines being groomed and made producing wealth at some point of time in future.  Is that the only joy in life for human beings?  That a human being having toiled from 3 years to 21 in schools, colleges and universities become able to produce wealth for nation and for himself?

 

What experiences did he enjoy when he was 3 years old, when he was 5 years old, when he was 7 years old what did he learn about life when he was 14 years old when the s*xual passions make him feel guilty about his own thought patterns and conduct related to many women he finds around him.  It is all worth living and knowing at that point of time only. 

 

True, we agree that the social order is corrupted by money minded people and it is all heading towards some kind of anarchy.  But when we propose any theory like Adultery should be made legal, Prostitution should be made legal etc., we should keep in view that we cannot think it is duty of a section of people to uphold the social mores and others can enjoy their lives revelling with these concepts.  We propose some theory, then we presume that it is applicable for everyone. And we think what social order it will lead to if everybody follows that theory.  We cannot propose theories for only 10000 people around or a lakh or two, it should be proposed for entire Nation.  And when entire nation follows it we should ponder what happens to society.

 

Man does not depend on woman, woman does not depend on man may be ideal situation.  But think when that independence leads them to feel marriage is not necessary, people in future will not have anyone to say Pappa, Mummaa.  Because the institution of Family rests on the institution of marriage.  So we cannot have someone to say Bhaiyya or Behan if people start procreation outside marriage.  We cannot have uncles, aunties.  We cannot have grand fathers and grand mothers.  It will be just a society of animals everyone thinking only in terms of money.

 

 

 

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     05 June 2012

And as you rightly said, when you grow older, you need a family to look after.  The needs of young men and women are different from the needs of old men and women.  So imagine, there are no relatives family members for you because you have become "wise enough in young age to deny the privileges of institution of marriage" because you felt it is not needed for human beings because men and women can live independently solely depending on money and for all other services related to household work people are available for money, you can employ them.

 

And you will have nobody to attract in old age because your body will not be attractive for women.  You will find only servants in the house working for you for the sake of money and they will be waiting to go away to their places to enjoy their lives when their work is over.  In other words there is no one with you who "feel happy to be with you".  Attending your work is just a burden/obligation for people not any joy.  If you are a grand father, then you will have a grand son who will lovingly call you "nana....daadaa...." and play with you.  There will be no one to spend time with you out of love and affection.  In our families there are old people still revered and loved to be with by children and grand children.  The feeling that "I am wanted by people" gives a sense of social security and strength in human beings and helps them to get rid of feeling of loneliness in old age.  If there are only servants around, you cannot get rid of that loneliness because you will know that they are there for your money, not for you. 

 

If you don't appear s*xy, why people will care you in old age?

 

Who will you call grandson in such social set up even if you procreate some fellow?  

 

That is why I feel there is nothing wrong if women depend on men.  In fact it is misunderstood by many that only people making money by doing some job "contribute" others idle at homes at the cost of husband's hard earned money.  It is totally mis-guided perception.  If contribution is only in terms of money, then all the creatues that God created, the birds, animals, plants and trees along with women idling at home are not contributing anything to mankind. 

 

By virtue of existence itself there is something to contribute for every human being.  Who is dependent on whom is not decided by money factor but by the "spiritual factor".  If you have a good wife at home, money will come home on its own because of her spiritual strength. 

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     05 June 2012

@ Bhima balla.  You are such a wise man.  Endorse all your comments above. What happens to you sometimes you take sides ruthlessly presuming all women are bad and all men are victims?

bhima balla (none)     05 June 2012

Idealism and practicality are different things!

The thinking behind the problems are:

Men are bad, women are good! This generalization is wrong.

Men are predators, women are preys.

Men are aggressors, women are victims.

Such thinking does not reflect reality and is outdated.

Laws that do not recognise that women can be bad, can be predators and women can be aggressors is biased and problematic.

Practical reality is:

1) Women are misusing laws.

2) Not all women are good.

3) Women can be and / are abusive, disrespectful, lazy, hurtful, etc etc etc

Marriage works only when two can get along. Marriage in India is dependint on not just husband and wife but the behaviour of their families as well.

Marriage must be declared contract. If that is not so-on what basis is the concept of maintenance coming from?

Each person has obligation to another. When one does not carry on with their responsibility the other should not be compelled to do so either.

Spiritual strength comes from being righteous. A woman who is disrespectful, liar, cheat, lazy, etc etc has no spiritual strength. Such a wife cannot be trusted. She cannot and should not be tolerated. Nobody in their right mind will kick out a good wife! Laws attempting to protect wives could be actually protecting bad wives and hurting innocent husbands. It is the duty of law to protect innocents.That is a basic principal of justice!.

A woman at home is contributing-when she takes care of household, is respectful of her husband, is respectful of her inlaws, loving and caring towards her husband and his siblings, parents etc. At the same time husband is taking care of her by providing shelter, food, clothing, provides respectability and love. What one has failed to answer is why should such person who fails to perform household work and/or is disrespectful of her husband and/ or disrespectful of his parents etc etc be maintained by her husband? What then is her contribution? If she is divorced what is she contributing to the husband and family? The examples of servant etc is a comparison and are provided as a indicator of the equivalent service, by someone else.

If a servant is disrespectful would anyone keep them? If a servant is abusive would anyone keep them? If a servant is kicked out of the job would anyone continue to pay for their (absent) services?

These are questions raised to show how absurd the laws are!

It has no basis whatsoever!

Adultery by man is punishable and adultery by woman is not. Is that right? Either both are punished or both should be free.

These are relevant questions. It shows that the current laws are ridiculous and needs a thorough overhaul.

Only when we hold woman accountable for their actions would the things change! It is a faulty system based on ridiculous presumptions!

False cases must be severely punished with both civil and criminal penalties. If that reduces the offending woman to beggary-then that is what she deserves. Only when they realize that they will be held accountable shall we expect proper behaviour.

The way the society is progressing (if one can call that) there won't be much left. In future no one can expect their children to take care of them nor their wives. Unless of course the laws are changed and saner laws are passed. Social reforms by communities also are needed -which is sorely lacking!

How many families that concentrate on getting marks, ranks,degrees etc  teach their children and teens the good values? How many teach them about how to run a family? This is the problem-ignorance!

bhima balla (none)     05 June 2012

 

Originally posted by :chandrasekhar.7203@ gmail.com
"
@ Bhima balla.  You are such a wise man.  Endorse all your comments above. What happens to you sometimes you take sides ruthlessly presuming all women are bad and all men are victims?
"

 It doesn't matter whether I am wise or not. It is irrelevant. I don't have any presumptions.If you thought so then it is your misunderstanding. I am ruthless against those women who are bad, who cry foul against innocent people, file false cases, who are irresponsible, disrespectful, yet behave as abala naris, sati savithris etc.. Unless we point to such bad behaviour of  bad women, in a country, where laws are passed as though women are good and men are bad( unless proven otherwise), where is the solution?

zimmerzapper (student)     05 June 2012

Originally posted by :chandrasekhar.7203@ gmail.com
" I find the anti-women sentiments in this forum amazing.  "

 

i don't know if you have browsed this forum for years before registering. but if you have you would know why. most of the members who seem new are actually very old but had to re-register again because of being banned. you don't know the real colors of female trolls on this forums. it is because of them that some members are agressively hostile. most of the things which happened before you joined are the cause.


(Guest)
Originally posted by :bhima balla
"

"It is only a beginning when judges are unbiased and fearless!
"

You mean to when judgements favours mean community , it is unbiased and fearless?


(Guest)
Originally posted by :zimmerzapper
"



Originally posted by :chandrasekhar.7203@ gmail.com



"

I find the anti-women sentiments in this forum amazing. 

"




 

i don't know if you have browsed this forum for years before registering. but if you have you would know why. most of the members who seem new are actually very old but had to re-register again because of being banned. you don't know the real colors of female trolls on this forums. it is because of them that some members are agressively hostile. most of the things which happened before you joined are the cause.
"

men is hostile by naure..I never saw hostility shown by any  women here ..if so can you give me link?.....the forum discussion is 98% anti-women ..i never saw any women becoming hostile her..i think you guys need monopoly here also..all the you people say women is like this ,women is like that..oh!

i even saw an id writing very offensive about Roshni B ...Tejal..but nobody protested..


(Guest)

Some people in the forum need a servant for household work, a prostitute for physical happyness.They dont want a wife, a human being .

bhima balla (none)     06 June 2012

Originally posted by :Nina Rakheja
"
Some people in the forum need a servant for household work, a prostitute for physical happyness.They dont want a wife, a human being .
"

Like a degree has any value, only, when it is backed up by what it represents- so shall a wife be valued, not because, she is wife in name only. A wife needs to have the qualities of being a wife-otherwise she is unfit to be called a wife! Without the qualities of a wife-she will be a wife in name only-just like that paper on the wall that calls itself a 'degree'!

Unfortunately today no one cares to teach the family values-we are too busy in our pursuit of education, careers, jobs etc etc The current situation is because:

1) The wisdom of how to have and manage a family, is not taught.

2) Neither is there an urge/ effort/ capability to learn on their own.

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