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vs (na)     01 November 2009

wife not coming back

i am hindu and got married in jan 2008 my wife left me and went to her my in laws place in sep 2008 for delivery of my child from the time she married she was always looking to seprate me from my parents.we had lots of heated arguments till november 2008 i was visting her but after one fight she told me not to come and see her and see has also thretended of comitting sucide more then thrice. so i thought she would change as time goes by but the communication between both of us stopped in november 08 itself.my son was born in january 09 and i was informed by her father after 20 mns of his birth through phone.My family went and saw the kid and

I was with her daily in the hospital and I was never informed the discharge date & time

I helped them to discharge and dropped the bags in her home. She told me not to stay in her house and can stay for an hour only if I want to see the kid maximum

After this I was going and seeing my child  regularly but I was treated very badly by her & her parents. I was waiting for things to improve but that never happened…every time I went there she will be taking the child in the pretext of feeding and lock the door in one instance I waited for 1.30 hr and then only I was able to see my child for few seconds

The last time I visited was in April 2009 and she dint even show the kid for seconds… 

I am hurt @ her behavior & her parents behavior…and in June 09 My mother called her father and asked him when are they going to send her bak with the kid and he said

still they have not decided on that, there is no security for her there and she is afraid to come there and he was giving all false allegation and also thretended of dowary harrasement case and then she called one of the relatives in july 09 to there home and explained the situation he is good person who wants both the families to unite but she was adament that i need to come out of my house and live with her near her parents place at the end it did not go anywhere and i tried callinh her now on october 09 since november08 she has not spoken to me so i did not get any response now also i tried sending sms and finally i got an answer from her fathers mobile stating that she is not intrested in talking to me and and whatever I have to say has to be sent to him in writting so i sent him asking if she is interested in living with me as husband & wife and this was sent 9 days back and there is no response from her end even after sending repeated reminders but i was able to talk to her brother and he says she was only speaking about the past and is not going to reply to my question.

 

In this state what should i do?how can i get back her with my son?if i go leaglly what are the options i have and if i go ahead and do it what will be the reaction from there side?If i go ahead and file child visiting rights & RCR can this proceed to divorce or reunite?What is the sucees rate of RCR inreuniting?

 

pls ans the above questions as i am confused on what step to take

 



Learning

 18 Replies

Suchitra. S (Advocate)     01 November 2009

Sir, I advise you to file RCR as soon as possible. Though RCR is a legal remedy to reunite both of you, it is upto you both to decide whether to stay together or not. If it doesnt work, after a year, both may seek divorce. Filing RCR is a best option left for you before they take steps to file for divorce or S.498A or worst is DVAct against you.

1 Like

Anish goyal (Advocate)     01 November 2009

Agree with suchitra g. Go 4 RCR. success rate of RCR doesn't matter. As it depends upon the facts of each case and on the fact who is deserter.

Kamal Grover (Advocate High Court Chandigarh M:09814110005 email:adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com)     01 November 2009

RCR will be the right option alongwith visiting rights. It is a step of joining and not sepration. So go ahead and get your wife and child back to you.

Good Luck

Regards

adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com

Anjali (IT)     01 November 2009

Hi VS,

before initiate any legal proceedings, why don't you arrange for a meeting with all family elders from both sides and talk. Since I understand that you want your wife and child back, better do whatever you can before approaching the court.  Take your parents, and go to your wife's uncle/relatives, arrange for family discussion. Discuss all the issues try to resolve it. MAke sure both parties relatives attend the discussion. Hope this can solve the issue. All the best

2 Like

Kamal Grover (Advocate High Court Chandigarh M:09814110005 email:adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com)     01 November 2009

I m agreed with Anjli proposal also and if not resolve only then adopt RCR.

Good luck

1 Like

N.K.Assumi (Advocate)     01 November 2009

Yes I agree with Suchitra, go for RCR which is twilight to divorce.

1 Like

vs (na)     14 November 2009

hi all,

to update you on the status i have gone to my wife's place with my friend and i saw that my kid is with the maid and she has been working for last 3 months so when i enetered there house she & her parents were not there and i spent some time with the kid and gave the maid all that i got for my son and late afternoon i recieved a call from there local police station that there is complaint against me from my wife and they have asked both parties to be present in the station tomorrow. i have consulted with my lawyer and he is coming with me now in this scenario i know this leading to divorce so pls answer the folling queries i have

how can i get my son in my custody?

is there a chance of saving this marriage?

what will be the maitenance i need to pay and what are the steps to reduce it?

also i want this to be closed at the earliest and move on with my life so what are steps i need to take

Kamal Grover (Advocate High Court Chandigarh M:09814110005 email:adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com)     14 November 2009

 

 

Appear before police and submit ur reply that u want ur wife and children back but she is not willing to accompany u at any cost. Then police will also submit thier report when u will file the case of Restitution of Conjugal rights.

Good luck


Regards
adv.kamal.grover@gmail.com

1 Like

vs (na)     15 November 2009

they have actually complained against me as attempted to kidnap my son i went with my lawyer and reply was filled and any further proceedings will be handeled in the family court which was given by both me and my wife. i am planning to file RCR with child rights in the next week.

but she and her family wants divorce which was told infront of police.

Now can they file 498a?How long can RCR go?

pls ans

regards,

vs

vs (na)     23 November 2009

what will be the maintance amount i have to pay if we decide for sepration she is working and earning 10,000 p.m   and her parents are also working her mother is a doctor also.My parents have retired and i am the only son and my salary is 45,000 p.m so what will be the amount i have to pay as maintenance for her and my son?

Khaleel Ahmed (Legal Advisor)     23 November 2009

I agree with Ms.Suchitra.

Hardik Mehta (Family Counsellor)     24 November 2009

VS,

The charges of kidnipping against you can be dropped by the police since you are the biological father of the child. This charge will not stand against you. I would suggest you to file the child custody and RCR along with the visitation. If you file for the same, the maintenance amount will be reduced. You can also state that the child should be handed over to your parents and not to the maid since this is in the best welfare of the child to have the family. Your mother can take care of the child.

Since she wants the divorce, ask that you will give the divorce once she hands over the child to you. I doubt if she can do the same. Do not bow to her demands and fight any false cases like 498a/406 etc.

The acts she is doing is for money and to gain control over you. This is the tactics used by most of the females. The security in question is just the eyewash. Face the fact and that she is not going to come. Regarding the maintenance, you need not pay the maintenance to her since she is working and deserted you, but if the child is not with you, then you need to pay the maintenance to your child. This will be minimum around 2000/month. You should get the visitation against the maintenance and this should be every alternate day for 1 hours and full days for weekends and holidays.

1 Like

vs (na)     28 November 2009

hi hardik,

i am planning to file for the child custody as per your suggestion and i have questions here.my son is near to 11 mnths now and as informed he is taken care by the maid what are the realistic chances of me getting the child custody and how can i prove that i can take care of my child better then her.Also by law do women only have right of child and is there no consideration of men? How long this case can run and what kind of proceedings will happen

pls ans

Hardik Mehta (Family Counsellor)     30 November 2009

VS,

You have to fight keeping this in mind that you are going to get the child, even if the laws are in favour of women. This can take time and by filing the child custody, you need to show that the welfare of the child is in giving the custody to you. You need to show the financial, social and emotional intrest of the child is in your custody. The court may not listen to you, but this will open the gates that she may be forced to leave the job and come back or leave the child.

1 Like

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