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Shweta (Project Manager)     21 April 2012

Please help me urgently to get fast solution

I have married in 2004 and we have 3 kids ( elder son is 8 years and younger 2 twins are 6 years). We both are working. After marriage about 2 to 3 months we stayed happily. After that, he  real harassment started like beating, mental harassment and even he stopped taking the financial responsibility of the family. Even I came to know about his illegal relations.  The major part in this all problems is he, his mother , sisters and his family. He is having 2 sisters who were not married that time ( Now one sister is run away with one guy and one more sister is married).  They are very money minded people and they were expecting my salary always. His both parents are working and mother is a headmistress in school. His sisters are not willing to work and they need my and my husband’s salary for their lavishness. As I denied to give them the money they spoiled our family life. Along with the bad habits like illegal relation my husband behaves like what ever his family tells him. In 2007 he left me and started staying with one woman with whom he had illegal relation. I waited for 6 months then consulted some counseling centers to make him good, even Bangalore commissioner office woman counseling centre has called his keep and warned. Nothing helped out. Then I fired conjugal rights case,    then maintenance case on him. That time, I was fully struggling with my small 3 kids. But I had a job. So god saved me. But, I have taken loans and although I had job, I suffered financially because my basic expenditure for me and 3 kids + the loan amount was much more than my salary. Then in 2008, I fired 498A case on him and  his full family. About 2 years the case run and in 2010 is family elders came and negotiated with me for rejoining. I agreed as I was expecting good life with him and as per there condition, I have with drawen all the cases on him. With in few months of with drawing the cases, he has shown his real face again and started beating and all the harassment started. Even he is not doing any f is duties towards kids. Slowly without my knowledge, he has taken all his things back and now since 5 months stopped coming home. His sister and her husband are also staying in Bangalore and he is the financial care taker of her family.

 

Now , I am completely fed up with him and no hopes of improvement. As, I have seen only pain in my 8 years of this marital life, I don’ have any emotion on him. Now I need advice on what is the best law or step in this situation for me. My main concerns are, I need  financial support from him for my kids and the child custody should be with me as I do’t want my kids to grow in his bad environment  and I want to know which is the best and quick law for the cruelty happening from him , his family and his sister’s husband and even his keep. Is there any legal way to inform in his office so that he can get warnings from his office also.



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 20 Replies


(Guest)

This is one of those cases in which the continuance of marriage would mean condescending below the minimal level of self respect and tranquility. The 'negotiation offer' was seemingly a pretext by his family members to bail him out of 498A.

Anyways, there is much you can do. Apart from applying for divorce on the ground of mental cruelty and adultery, you can also seek residence order in the shared household of your husband, file for maintenance, and the custody of your child. If the woman with whom he is living is married, he is criminally liable for adultery under S. 497 IPC.

 

Regards,

Ashish Davessar

Advocate

Delhi, Chandigarh

1 Like

Shweta (Project Manager)     21 April 2012

Thanks Ashish Sir. Presently children are with me. And even he don't have any affection on children. But, I strongly suspect, he may ask for child custody to trouble me. So, I wanted to know how can I safeguard my children by not going to him if by chance he asks for child custody.

 

One more thing is , I heard of DV act. Is it help full to me to get maintenance and to punish him and his family for the cruelty? Even, since I am working, I will get maintenance for my kids from him in this act?

 

Please advice.

 


(Guest)

If the custody of the children is already with you, there would be a huge onus on the shoulders of your husband to dislodge this custody. While granting the custody to either parent the court has to satisfy itself that the parent who has been granted the custody is in the best position to look after the child. The custody is given to the parent who can protect the interest of the child better than the other parent. Welfare of the child is the paramount touchstone on which a claim for custody is decided. The wish of the child, if any, would also be taken into consideration.

 

As regards maintenance, you can apply for maintenance under Sec 125 Cr.PC or under DV Act. DV act gives many rights to a wife. The proceedings under DV Act are expeditious, wherein you can also get a residence in the shared household of your husband.  You can get child support, and also maintenance for yourself notwithstanding the fact that you are earning, if there is a huge difference between your income and your husband's income.

manish (cdsdfasd sdf)     22 April 2012

you can use all the laws to harass him and his family.. you already tried 498a - thats the brahma astra.. u can try DV, section 125, 307 and also 377 (this one is good).. With DV you can sit inside permanently inside your husbands house but make sure that the house is in the husbands name.. If its not in his name show some love to him and get the house under his name and then start your flurry of cases..

btw you can also accuse your sister in laws husband of trying to outrage your modesty which will ensure you can pull more people in the case. If you dont like your neighbours you can include their name too. Dont worry, the court will never punish you even if they caught you lying or they dismiss 498a or DV.. have fun

now we heard only your side of the story - would hv been great to hear the husband's side of it too.. Almost all the cases i have seen, husband is spending all his money on his sisters and mother.. Can we somehow find a way to euthanise any husband who has sisters or brothers or mother or father? poor girls of india

Shweta (Project Manager)     22 April 2012

There is no house on my husbands name. They built new house in 2007 and that is on my mother in law's name. But for that, my husband has taken personal loan in SBI bank and built the house. My husband is a software employee working in MNC.

I want to involve my in laws and even sister in laws husband because, they are the main people involved in this problem and my husband is taking care of my Sister in laws family and if e stops tasking care of her family then, I know very well that my sister in law's husband starts troubling him. So, I am planning to involve them as well to make them realize that, troubling others family life will also effect them. I really don't want to lye any thing here just t make the case strong by involving neighbors and all. I just want the justice to me and special m children’s for the pain for last 8 years and want punishment to those who involved in this.

 

  

 

rajiv_lodha (zz)     22 April 2012

I want to involve my in laws and even sister in laws husband because, they are the main people involved in this problem and my husband is taking care of my Sister in laws family and if e stops tasking care of her family then, I know very well that my sister in law's husband starts troubling him. So, I am planning to involve them as well to make them realize that, troubling others family life will also effect them. I really don't want to lye any thing here just t make the case strong by involving neighbors and all. I just want the justice to me and special m children’s for the pain for last 8 years and want punishment to those who involved in this.

???

See, What kind of story u have???? Ur marriage is 8 yrs old husband is adulterous, ur married SILs+their Husbands+ Parents in law ...................all ruining ur life via UR HUSBAND. U shud concentrate on getting rid of this marriage ratehr than finding ways to involve ur SILs+ their husbands!

In DV act, relief is no doubt quick BUT ONLY IF U ARE ENTITLED TO GET ANY

U can very well file for custody of children. But remember, father will be granted VISITATION RIGHTS if he fights for them.

U are earning & want to keep the children too.....................less likely u will get handsom n timely maint from hubby.

Better move ahead with ur chin up rather than being a court-bird rest of ur life. In my view--- talk of MUTUAL CONSENT DIVORCE with him & sort out child issues+monetary sattlement there.........the shortest route, sensible too!

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     22 April 2012

Shwetaji,

I felt sorrow to hear your case.Follow Mr. Ashish Davessar's advice in letter and spirit.  I also add that you are also entitled to file Section 498-A case again mentioning the atrocities perpetrated against you since the day of the last settlement till date.

Now, one most important question comes into the life of every woman, who is facing the problems like you.  Whether to take legal course against all those people who ruined your life or just go for mutual consent divorce and leave the things like that.  The decision will be yours depending upon your pecualiar family problems, your consciousness and your responsibility towards the society.

Let me cite some examples.  If a person is robbed by a thief on the street and he is caught, obviously the person wil recover his money.  Whether the thief should be handed over to police and punished as per law or as the person recovered his money, the thief should be left out like that allowing him to rob someone else.  If the person decides to take the former action he has to go to police station and file a complaint and also has to pay several visits to the court speding his precious time to prove the case.  If he follows the second option, he is abdicating the social responsibility and is also indirectly abetting the crime of thief in future.

If a woman is molested by ruffians on the street, every well wisher of that woman says to her 'just forget everything and get on with your life.  It is quite natural in our town.  If you give police complaint, you will be further harassed by ruffians, police, advocates and courts.  you will become a court bird. So do not make a case out of nothing".

If a girl is raped, everyone around her discourages her to file case against the rapist saying "once you file the case, whatever may be the result of the case, your name and character will be tarnished, you will never get married and not only you, your other sisters also will not get married.  So forget everything".

In matrimonial offences also, the wife is taught always these things and similar things.  That is why erring husbands have a filed day.

I wish you will have courage to come out of the situation by taking appropriate steps.  

1 Like

manish (cdsdfasd sdf)     22 April 2012

@shweta,

have some brains and dont try to get into this court business because if you do - you will find yourself also harassed. The only thing u get in court is dates and whatever semblance of life you have will be gone with it. Understand one thing - once u get into litigation everyone will try to make as much money as they can - advocates specially.. You will get lot of ill advice and once you jump in - tum doobtee jaogi.. its the same for boys family too.

 

at the end you will not get anything except maybe a few thousand rupees of maintenance. try to talk it ut - involve elders - u have children and try to curb ur ego.. love solves everything - ego doesnt..

dont think that these courts are like the ones you see in TV.. EVen after 10 years ou will be still roaming the courts with nothing happening.

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     23 April 2012

Swetha,

 

Filing 498A along with Sec 420 for cheating you after you had withdrawn your earlier 498A will do good for you.  HMA allows scope for alimony pendente lite.  So even during the course of proceedings you can get money from your husband.  The general reading is husbands come for settlement with good offer and MCD if 498A is filed. The greater the fear of punishment the better the settlement amount. This is reading. It is an open secret.  However I suggest you not to seek any settlement amount.  Claim only what is legal, that is maintenance.

 

Many women enter into written agreements with husband saying we are withdrawing cases filed under 498A for having received settlement amount.  One should not enter into any written agreement with husband or give any receipt saying I am accepting this settlement amount for withdrawing or weakening case of 498a against my husband, because to punish husbands in 498A is prosecution's case not personal case of women. Many people are not aware it is not legal to claim settlement amount to withdraw case filed under 498A.  It amounts to "Extortion" or "Bribery" if you do so. Experts may enlighten me if I am wrong. Once FIR is filed in 498A the ball sets rolling and only HC can quash the 498A under existing laws. 

 

The aim of 498A is only to punish the accused if he is found guilty not to reap monetary benefits to the women.  Our criminal law is not yet fashioned to compensate the loss suffered due to crimes, one can only use the Law of Torts to claim compensation or damages arising out of victimization due to offenses under IPC. It is a wrong practise that we witness settlement amounts are paid and even written agreements are entered into by concerned parties. Such written agreements can be presented as evidence against women for Extortion and Threat under IPC.

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     23 April 2012

Out of court settlement for non-compoundable offenses is illegal.  If the settlement involves money, then it may be construed as Extortion or threat of punishment.  There is every possibility the Court may ask when it is non-compoundable offense how you reached an out of court settlement. Every offense entails criminal and civil liabilities.  Civil liabilities are aimed at compensating the victim whereas the criminal liability is aimed at creating a deterrant to ensure such crimes do not recur in future.  Hence it becomes a prosecution case. Even for compoundable offenses when an offense is committed, the monetary factor is only a function of damages suffered by the victim, not a function of the financial status of the accused who wants to escape punishment of imprisonment.  Let me quote an example and explain.  A boy is riding a two wheeler and hit by a four wheeler owned by a richa and famous film star.  He can claim compensation under MV Act from the concerned Tribunal.  Parallel police can file case under IPC for rash driving.  The accused is liable for both civil and criminal wrong.  Civil liability comes to an end when the boy is compensated for damages suffered by the vehicle, any injury and also agony suffered due to trauma created by accident.  Say Tribunal awarded Rs.2.00 lac compensation.  The boy decides to withdraw case under IPC which is compoundable, say. But someone guided him saying, the person who hit you is a big shot, he cannot bear imprisonment for even a day so instead of claiming compensation from Tribunal if you pressurize him to undergo punishment of imprisonment, you will get more.  So the boy did not file case with Tribunal and waited for out of court settlement.  The film star offered Rs.20.00 lacs for withdrawal of case because he does not want to be imprisoned even for a day and the boy withdrawn the case.  This is illegal and amounts to extortion.  That is what I mean by saying "the monetary factor is only a function of damages suffered by the victim, not a function of the financial status of the accused who wants to escape punishment of imprisonment".

Anon (EFG)     24 April 2012

@chandrasekhar

Though 498a in non compoundable, if Wife being PW1 is not accompanying the case there is no point in continuing the case as there is no chance of aquittal of the accused. Hence HC quashes such cases almost daily with no hesitation. 498a has been reduced from prevention of crime to extortion tool. The same observation has been made in all the High Courts & Supreme Court.

@ swetha

When reality catches with you your hairs would be white. Criminal cases are easy to lodge and difficult to prove in court. Your only high point would be the day you lodge complaint & get in laws arrested. Once reality sinks in and as days move on... your cases would become more weak, you will have more down days than up days.  If your real intention was to punish wrong doer I dont thing your would have taken your husband back the first time. By filing 498a you can atleast have fun in life for a week. Enjoy. .

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     24 April 2012

Swethaji,

I would like to clarify one thing in criminal proceedings, which includes Section 498-A.  Once FIR is registered after failure of mediation before Crime Against Women cell, the complainant wife has to go to court only once or twice to give her evidence.  But the accused, who harassed the complainant have to take anticipatory bail / bail and after filing of the charge sheet, on every date invariably attend the court.  In the case, if any one of the accused fails to attend the court (without taking exemption from the court), non-bailable arrest warrant will be issued.  On every date of hearing, they have to come to court at 10.00 AM and wait till their matter is over.  If evidence of prosecution goes on, they have to stand in the court and show their presence to the court so that making validate of the evidence.  That is why, even during the criminal proceedings under Section 498-A, the accused and his relatives face the hurdles  of criminal proceedings.   It is no wonder the accused despite having got bail run from pillar to post to come to compromised settlement with the wife for quashing the Section 498-A  proceedings.  It is a myth to say that only complainant wife's hair becomes white while the acccused becomes younger day by day.

As I said earlier that in our society, there is a systematic campaign to discourage people to file cases related to crimes against women, either they may be matrimonial offence cases, molestation, rape and bigamy cases. 

From my end, I will end this post leaving the option, as I said earlier, to you to pursue the cases as suggested by Sh. Ashish, Advocate.

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     24 April 2012

 

@Anon: "there is no chance of aquittal of the accused".............Acquittal or Punishment?

 

@Adv. Chandu:  I saw the advise of Ashish where in he mentioned that husband can be punished for Adultery.  But Swetha cannot initiate legal proceedings under Adultery, only the husband of the keep (if she is married woman) can initiate legal proceedings under Section 497.  I suggested her to file S.498A.  However I could not understand how she could "withdraw" 498A after the case proceedings dragged on for two years. Did she mistake quashing of 498A as withdrawal or she had really withdrawn?

 

I don't think withdrawal of complaint under 498A is possible once made because it is a Warrant case. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     24 April 2012

There are many mysogynists in this forum.


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