…Contd….*** PART 3 *** Play like the MEN and NOT Like the BOYS--- Part 3 ________
Important Final two parts - 4 & 5 on MoU and an important technical part which people usually miss
out upon, during these MoUs, to be posted later today-------------
Question : After the MCD, during the 90 day appeal period, can I too appeal ?
Answer and General Observations : Yes, with condonation of delay, even beyond 90 days of
the appeal period and within 2 years from date of graning divorce decree, you can contest.
You can even say that they threatened to file false cases against you and your family, if you
do not sign the MCD ( Mutual Consent Divorce ) petition.
That is why women too maintain silence. Many women ( the ten percent abnormal category )
cannot handle family commitments and pressure and at some point want to return to the
comfort of their childhood which they had when they were young girls.
So, for this reason and many other reasons, desperately they want to somehow break free
from married life.
So, they prefer to remain silent, especially during the appeal period so that you too do not get
provoked and so that you do not appeal against the MCD.
They want you to remain under the impression that they do not like you at all and that you are
hated by her thoroughly. They want you to feel so dirty about yourself and they want you to start feeling
that you are responsible for all the problems, including the water tap which broke and the kargil war
between India and Pakistan.
They want you to feel dirty about yourself that you start hating yourself and your life and your
family members and your family members too start hating each other.
As I have always maintained, the psychological mind games are more than the legal activities.
Even before the matter is called on the particular date, You can even withdraw the consent for
the MCD after signing for it in the court. She too can do that.
Even the women fear that you would do this. That is why, from the moment they sign for the
MCD in court and after some of the usual emotional tears, they quickly exit from the
scene and try to forget everyone and everything of the past.
They either enroll for some course or join for a job and keep themselves busy and
The emotional fools among Men, after signing the MCD in court, first leave their family
members and call some friend and go to a pub/ bar and discuss this fellow’s wife
and the MCD in public.
ESPECIALLY DURING SATURDAYS AND SUNDAYS WHEN PEOPLE ARE AT HOME, THESE DISCUSSIONS BECOME
NEVER-ENDING TOPICS. THIS IS EXACTLY WHEN THESE DISCUSSIONS SHOULD MOVE AWAY FROM THE
EMOTIONAL ASPECT AND FOCUS PURELY ON THE LEGAL AND SAFETY ASPECT OF EXITING OUT OF ALL
DIRTY GAMES, SAFELY WITHOUT A SCRATCH.
This emotional fool among the Men, quits his job, starts addictions to alcohol,
visits prostitutes, narrates his story to all and becomes emotionally weak.
Question : Is MCD the best Option when compared to Regular Divorce ?
Answer : Yes, definitely. This MCD is more similar to a professional hand-shake and exit. If you get the
opportunity, grab it with both hands.
Regular Divorce is more similar to moving from one place to another place when there is a heavy traffic
and at the same time heavy rain pours from above and your vehicle tyre is punctured and at
the same time you are suffering from severe head-ache and high fever.
VISUALIZE THIS in your MIND to realize the EFFECTS AND IMPACT.
Question : When is it the right time for MCD ?
Answer : THE BEST TIME FOR MCD is BEFORE ANY FIGHT GOES TO THE POLICE STATION and
BEFORE 498A and non-compoundable cases are filed against you and your family.
As soon as your wife refuses to come from her fathers’ home and you keep quiet for some days
and the moment two months pass away without any contact by her, you should take the
courage to suddenly directly land at her father’s house one day and speak to her in private.
But if you get emotional and do not go alone, then you will spoil the game.
Go alone. Speak to her. Behave like a Gentleman. Do not go drunk. Do not become emotional.
Do not go with beard and over-grown hair. Go like a Gentleman and behave like a Gentleman.
If she agrees to come, her family members will play the guitar slowly and try to prevent her
from sticking to you back again. All emotional control and black-mail will start. Do not reply.
Watch that. Speak to them. But never open your mouth and never reply for any emotional blackmail.
This is very important.
If she agrees to come, then fine. Ok. Start a new innings.
Or else, return home. Think deeply. Think a lot. Your condition in life and your family, only you know.
So consider all aspects of life in the present and the future.
Think TRULY and Think PRACTICALLY. Do not cheat yourself with impractical and un-intelligent emotions.
If you feel it is not worth trying for a re-union anymore and that matters have already gone out of your hands,
then arrange for money for possible requirements
( food, bills, anticipatory bail, lawyer fees, bail amount,…etc ).
Till such time that you finish this task of SAFETY and SECURITY, keep quiet.
Do not even send an sms to her.
Even if she/ they contact, listen and remain silent.
Then speak to her and as much as possible, try to convince her that instead of fighting it like
SLUM GOONDAS on the streets, a mutual consent divorce is better.
If you have children, plan for their future too and discuss all terms clearly with her.
If she agrees, then approach an advocate for this purpose.
SO, THE BEST TIME FOR MCD is BEFORE ANY FIGHT GOES TO THE POLICE STATION and
BEFORE 498A,…etc are filed against you.
Question : Do we need two advocates, one on each side for the MCD ?
Answer : NO.
One Advocate is enough for the joint petition. Either your advocate or hers’.
Since the terms are clearly agreed upon, the advocate is more of an administrative requirement
to check the petition for any legal infirmity and to take care of the administrative and
legal formalities at the court.
But Vakalathnama should be filed separately.
Vakalathnama, is a document, by which the party filing the case authorizes the Advocate to
represent him / her on his / her behalf.
The Advocate cannot file vakalathnama petition without your consent and Signature,
nor appear on oral instructions in a Divorce Petition.
Both the Parties must be present before Court to file Petition u/s 13B, and both have to File Affidavit,
signed before Court Officials, in presence of each of your Advocate who identifies you.
This is the normal procedure for Divorce u/s 13B.
Question : Why is an MCD best before the cases are filed at the police station ?
Answer : Once the complaints are filed at the Police Station and the FIRs are filed, that single case of 498A can be
quashed only after the legal exercise is undergone.
Even if all the other complaints are withdrawn and the cases are closed,
what about 498A ? You may sign for MCD and even get it sooner,
within a year from the date of filing.
But what about the 498A ?
Once the MCD is obtained, there is no relation-ship between you and that woman ( your ex-wife ).
Legally it is a dead marriage. It is ALL OVER. Atleast Legally it is all over. Emotionally , Traditionally and
Spiritually, it might not be over. But legally it is ALL OVER.
Will she then come and depose before the court that the 498A was filed against you due to wrong
assumptions in her hyper-active excited emotional condition without any fore-thought and in anger
and at the spur of the moment and faulty guidance by her family and advocate ??
In fact truly speaking, although the MCD is the Best, it is best only if the police station does not
figure in at all. There should be no complaints and cases filed.
Then the MCD is the best.
Even otherwise, compared to the regular divorce MCD is best.
Mainly due to the time factor. Matters prolong in the courts and with time your age too increases.
So, the loss is one too many.
But the regular divorce gives you time to think and fight it out, gather evidence and contest
the divorce and file counter-complaints.
The MCD is more like a Hit and Run. She has already hit you. Now with the MCD she gets an easy exit.
But if you actually do good quality research in law, the MCD gives you too the much-desired freedom
from DIRTY FIGHTS.
Also, if you really desire, you can re-open the case file with the condonation period and say
it was a forced MCD and take it back to a regular divorce or contest the divorce and file fresh cases.
So, nett-nett, if you look at it with all the factors considered and if you arrive at the age old philosophy
“ That which has to stay will stay together, crossing all hurdles and winning over all difficulties and
that which has to vacate will vacate after running away from problems instead of facing them. “
Then, you can see that comparatively the MCD is the best option, mainly because it gets you out of all
DANGEROUS AND DISASTROUS TRAPS designed against you by DANGEROUS AND
CRIMINAL minds on your wife’s side.
See, the mathematics is very very simple.
Your wife either comes to live with you or she does not.
If she comes, after all the bitterness between the two families,
she will have to leave her family and return to you.
This used to happen in the 1980s when there were hardly two or three divorce cases in
the court and even among those, one would be granted divorce and the others would
patch up and return to life as husband and wife.
The elders in those days stood by the dictum “ HUSBAND AND WIFE together, no matter
what happens, be it Life or Death “.
But today the elders too say ‘ HUSBAND AND WIFE separated for our Ego, no matter what
happens, be it Life or Death ‘.
So, indeed it is a heavy feeling in the Mind of today’s Men who have to deal with
Matrimonial issues with almost no support from anybody.
Also, today’s wives ( the abnormal ten percent ) are not MENTALLY STRONG.
They are STUBBORN and ADAMANT, but not MENTALLY STRONG.
They just dance to the tunes of their family members.
Today, Men too have Weak UNDECIDED mind-set. So, a decision becomes a tough task to them.
But, a decision has to be taken. To live with her or Not.
But that is Life. Times Change and So do people and so does Life.
Let Life change for the better. So decide how you want to go about the entire incident.