Hi,
I got married in 2011. Arranged marriage. My father was the only earning hand in the family . My husband is NRI, my father did evrything possible to meet the groom's expectations, spent a lot doing so. For a middle class, he spent like 12-13 lakhs, though the groom , earlier said there wont be any dowry, but the wedding expences were too much for us. And he didnt leave any stone unturned in doing so.
My husband promised that he will take me with him after wedding, but in laws kept pressurizing me to stay in India to be with his parents while he gets back in the enxt 5-6 months. It was inacceptable as this was the only request from us that I would live with my husband, wherever he is. So, we asked him to go ahead with applying the spouse visa, but it took time, I was at my in-laws. They started harassing me since the very first day. they made me feel as if I am just a servant, they would always bad mouth me in front of relatives, when I never did anything wrong. I asked my husband if this marriage was against their wish, to which he said his parents are too old, may be their thinking is very orthodox and I shud manage. They started taunting me that my father didnt give them anything , so he should atleast help their relatives to get a govt job (my dad is in central Govt). It was impossible for my father. Then they started asking money so they can get the help in getting their other sons a job. I was really shocked at it. But my husband kept mum. He just wanted me to stay there , cope with them until Visa. I thought atlest my husband is not ill treating me so i shud not care about others. But I didnt want to be a victim of this harassment at my in laws. I cudnt stay there more than 15 days.
I didnt want to end in the NRI marriage trap, so I went for a tourist visa and went to my husband. He was good in the start, but gradually , he started drinking and verbally abusing me . I still tried to work it out.
But my in laws kept calling us, saying same things that she didnt bring anything. Also, just after 2 months of our marriage, they wanted me to have baby. Though this was already discussed that we wont go for a baby unless we both arent ready. My visa expired in 3 months so I came back. Went to my in laws with husband , only to find evrything is still the same. Money and baby were the things they kept me forcing on. My parents were too helpless. My father already was under loans coz of the marriage.
My in laws denied of the asking money in front of husband saying I was a liar. My husband supported them.
I was in utter confusion of wot to do. I went to my parents' home with husband for few days, then husband went back to overseas. after a month I got my Visa. I went to him overseas. I discovered a change in his behavior, he asked me to go back to India every now and then . He once slapped me when he saw I spoke to my parents while he was out. I got so scared, as I was totally dependent of him. He wont leave any money for me , even there was no food at home while he was out. I could not contact my parents while he wasnt home. And when he spoke to my parents on video chat, he seemed so charming and caring.
I started losing my health. I went to the doctor, she asked me to have proper food and rest. But I could not. Husband used to drink every day. I still tried to please him.. tried telling him that i Love him, all the time. Never denied of physical. But he would drink and start hitting me for even little arguments. My doctor saw the marks on my body and suggested me to report. But I did not, as I really wanted this marriage to work , and didnt want to make him furious or leave me. He was all I had there. But one day , he hit me so hard that I fainted.
Then I asked him to send me home, but didnt say that I want divorce coz I was scared of him.
When I went home , I told my parents everything. They could not believe coz he was so pleasant in front of them. Still they wanted things to work out. But soon , they discovered he is too inhuman, after 2-3 weeks of talking to him. Then they asked him for divorcing me. He denied, saying he loves me. He said I lied evrything , also said I have hit him many times!
It was confusing , why would he love me if I used to hit him . disrespect his folks,in a nutshell , I wasnt a good wife.
I asked him for a mutual divorce, he agreed at first, but said he wont come to India.
I could not file a divorce as I wasnt sure wot case should I file. After 7 months of separation, he started ignoring my mails and calls. I then got to know from some one , that he already cancelled my Visa, also , he is trying to get married there..
Now , I have read many threads in this forum, where people give comments, feeling the girl is trying to take out money from the groom . So I make it clear here, I didnt have any intention of that. I didnt go running for the Visa as well, as I could have stayed there only and taught him a lesson, took a huge amount.
But the scenario is , I havent applied for a divorce, I am not working. Father is retired. have already 6 mouths to feed. I can not be a burden on him. Husband has all the jewelery and evrything, As I didnt bring anything except for a handbag when I came back.
Am I entitled for any sort of alimony , can he get a divorce there , without even concerning me and get married.? I am very low financially . I do not know what to do.
Please help.
