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waradan r n (Private)     31 January 2011

Need suggestion immediately for my life.

Respected Lawyers,

I am having lot problems in my affair. I already asked question in the same forum. I have new problems. Kindly help me. I am affair with a girl she is 27 and i am 29, I told my parents to talk to their parents about our marriage. My parents accepted and came to Chennai for speak to his father in outside place. Because her mother not accepted, so his father decided to speak to my parents and then he will take decision after consulting with her mother like that she told. I accepted and we are planning to meet his father, at the day of meeting her car driver called and told me their make problem and she is also support with their parents so she wont marry you. Like that he told. I am not beleive and i went to meet my relative who is lawyer, he spoke to her father through phone, that time he told " she changed her mind and wont marry you" like that he told to my relative, but my relative told him to speak to her. After an hour he spoke to her also. Through phone she told she is not ready to marry. So after that i decided to releave from her and totally upset about her feelings. Now my parents and relatives also not ready to accept her, because of her parents threaten. Now she spoke to me after a week she is ready to come with me, now what shall i do? I promised my parents i will marry a girl from their decision. So now i want to know how to take decision which is not affect her also. I can't disobey my parents decisions also. I want to take a satisfactory decision which is not affect both of us. Kindly give me your decision from psychological and legally not affected especially her.


 10 Replies

Rajiv (Senior Consultant)     31 January 2011

I don't think you have any case as such, specially in view of the fact that your GF was ok about not marrying, as such. So what is the threatening about, and from whom, and against which wrong. If you have interest to marry her and she is ok, at this stage, then what is your worry all about ??

1 Like

manjit kalra (system eng)     31 January 2011

nobody except u can take ur personal decisions. this has no legal solution.

1 Like

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     31 January 2011

great , think about urself FIRST, this is KALYUG.


@ Mr Waradan

This is all about your personal life, nothing to do with legal matters.  If you want you can ask some counsellor, who can advice & guide you properly regarding your life & decisions.

As per according to me, you are 29 and the girl is 27, so she is not a kid to behave in such an immature way, marriage is a big decision and you should think alot. She opposed first and now she is ready, so obviously your parents won't like to accept her, because she is not consistent & is not stable with her decision.  So i will suggest you, give some time.  Think properly.   Talk to your parents but don't force them to accept this girl. And if the girl is really interested in marrying you now then ask her to visit your place with her momdad and propose marriage, because your parents have already tried from their end to make you happy, but that time the girl didn't support you . So now she should take a decent initiative for marriage. 

And if she doesn't agree for this then the answer is clear, don't leave your parents , go with your parents decision and marry some other girl of your parents choice.  Don't hurt your parents and do not force them to accept this girl.  Your parents are absolutely right at their place.

Think accordingly and wisely .

All the best.

3 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     01 February 2011

dear komal


u have advised v.well


i have been reading all ur views,since u joined LCI.they are very balanced and matured.good that u r supporting the righful thing here


keep it up!

1 Like


Yes the author shouud marry the girl who stands by him always.             

If she's so indecisive before marriage and keeps changing her stand due to parental influence,she can do the same after marriage.God is showing u her real nature before marriage.So u decide if  you want to marry a girl like her.

1 Like


@ Roshini B

Thankyou very much roshini ji, iam happy to know that.  I try my best to give meaningful advice & i respect fair justice.  Even your posts are inspiring and good. 

Thankyou very much for your appreciation, i will try for more better outcomes.


waradan r n (Private)     01 February 2011

Thank U Komal Ji!

I thought if i not support her, i may take a wrong thing to her. That is why i think lot. I want to leave her with the proper way. She studied more than me (She is doctor, and i am corporate junior level employee), her father and relatives working in central and state government in high position. They may be turn the stories towards me for protecting her. That's what i think a lot and i am lower middle class guy. I have a lot of burden to take my family to next stage. Now i realise all the way to leave her without hurting anyone. I already hurted more my parents and relatives in this issue. Shall i speak to her father? And explain my point of view. Is this correct way to finish all the issue? Kindly guide me more....


@ Waradan ji

Its good that you are so respect your relationship so much, glad to see that. But you don't have to feel guilty at all, because you and your parents have done fair job, and nothing bad or inhuman. So don't think so much, that if you will leave your girlfriend without saying or informing her , it won't be unethical.  Because if you will call her father you can invite complex situation.  Some answers are given by time, and iam sure your girlfriend will understand your intension, don't try to give extra comfort because that can invite trouble.

So be calm and leave things on time, believe yourself. You and your parents have done nothing wrong so their is no question of feeling guilty.  you are decent enough and honest so no worries.  Don't stress yourself.

All the best.

waradan r n (Private)     03 February 2011

Thank U so much Komal JI! Now i get some clear view to face the future!

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