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Latha (SA)     12 June 2012

Need help

Hi,

This is Latha. I got married on 28th May, 2011. We both are software engineers and living in Mumbai.Basically, we are from Andhra Pradesh. After my marriage, my husband and his family members harrassed me for dowry and property. So, I filed a 498A case against them in AP in the month of Feb,2012. After two days, they compromised and took me back to mumbai. From Feb to May, we were living happily. But, my husband is not talking with my parents and his parents also not talking to me.  Now, they started to harrasing me to withdraw the case and he left me at my parents place, saying that he will take me back, when I close the case. Now, he got the bail also.

One week back, I came to Mumbai and staying in PG to go to my office.

Please help me, what I need to do in this situation.



Learning

 11 Replies

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     12 June 2012

Lathaji,

the case is clear.  First you faced harassment and dowry demand and then only you filed section 498-A case.  It is quite natural your in-laws will not talk to you and he will not talk to his in-laws.  Due to the fear of Section 498-A, they pretended love by taking you back to matrimonial home with a hope they can influence you to take back case. When they got bail, the fear of law vanished, they came to their original roles expecting dowry and property.  Once you withdraw the case, they may take you back, but their demands will never stop.  If you will not meet their demands, they brand you section 498-A wife, who files false cases and seek divorce.  Now it is your call what you should do?  If you have love towards your husband and he is in same wave length, and if he is not money minded and has not demanded dowry or property (but kept silent when his parents demanded for the same), you can make amendments with him and put efforts to reunite with him by staying separately from his parents.  If he is money minded and also involved in dowry demands, just forget about reunion and go on in your job and prosecute him in Section 498-A case by bringing all possible evidence. 

adv. rajeev ( rajoo ) (practicing advocate)     12 June 2012

It is better to take the help of the society elderts to sort out the problem.

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     12 June 2012

@Latha

Why are you so keen in keeping the cases? How can you expect your husband be good to you continuously when you have kept the sword of prosecution dangling on his and his parents' head?  Be realistic and choose what you want. See from your own experience whether the good behaviour of your husband was fake one only for making you withdraw the cases or he genuinely repented and wanted reconciliation. If there is any realistic chance of patch up then do not keep the case. If it was just a drama then, forget your hubby and continue with the prosecution. Talk to your parents and see how things can be sorted out before relationship becomes too sour to patch up again. 

1 Like

(Guest)
He is also having parents like u, then why. Do u think u r more educated in making good relation. NO..! U r only a bad wife. Have u thought after it what it will effect ur relation. How much do u think abt indian law. If u have prblm leave separate and talk husband dnt go this and expect good. U r just mindless n stupid. I dont know what edu u have..?

Latha (SA)     15 June 2012

Hi Vijay,

this is the first time I posted my issue in blogs. So, I have provided my problem partially. Now, I'll explain the details clearly. Then you can say whether I'm a good wife or bad wife.

After my marriage, we came to Mumbai. I asked for the new sim card. He replied that I will give you. I was waiting for new sim card. I waited upto 2 months. I was going to office without mobile. My parents and all other relatives are asking for my mobile. That too, in the month of July, bomb blast was happened in mumbai. So, my parents are so tense about me, because I'm new to Mumbai. Oneday, my manager aked my mobile number and other details to update in company portal. Then, I asked my husband for sim card. Can you guess what he repled? He replied as " I'm testing your patience, that's I didn't give you the sim card.' See his mentality. Finally, I got the sim card aftte 2 months.

Oneday, He asked my bank internet password. I trusted him and provided all the details. He download all the previous statement from past 5 years. And he took my debit cards and withdrawing the full amount.For rent house deposit also I paid  1 lakh. For bus charges also, I need to ask him. He used to give Rs.200 for my expenses. After completion of that money I need to ask again. He hacked my mail id also.

My mother-in-law, she used to call me and asking for property. So, my parents registered the property also with my name and my husband name.

 One fine day, he ask me to pack the luggage to go my native. I asked him, why did you plan suddenly. He replied that "You will get know, after going there". So, we went to my mother-in-law's place. He called to my parents and saying that, I don't want your daugter, her character is not good.She will smoke and drink. She is not suitable to my family. So, I don't want her.....like that he has created so manythings aginst me. He and his parents forced me to leave that house. So, I was staying with my parents. After that, my parents and my uncle's went to his place and asking for compromise. They said that, they don't want to take me back. And we have waited for one more month. Eventhough, we got the same answer. And finally, he sent a lawyer notice for diverse. Then, we decided to file a case. So we filed a case.

In police station also, he was saying the samething and I'm asking for to live with him. After 2 days, police has given a counselling to us and he compromised and taken me back in the month of February. After that, we are living happily. But, there is no communication between my family and his family.

After 3 months, our wedding anniversary was going to come. So, he planned to go Shimla. we both got leave for one week. On Friday, we started from Mumbai. When we got into train, they started the drama.

His father called him and saying that your uncle is not well. He replied that, take him to hospital. Then, after 1 hr, his sister called and talking about the same. For the next next, after reaching to shimla, he got a call from his father and saying that you need start immediately. So, we started immediately and we went directly to Hyderabad. From Hyderabad, we took one car to go to my native. When we reach Guntur, he called to his father and asking for the hospital route. Immediately he said that, doctors were recommended to go Appollo hospital, we are almost reaching to hyderabad, so you can come to hyderabad. Then my husband told me that, continuously we are in journey so, from here you can go to your Mom's place and I will go to hyderbad. I said OK. From the next day onwards, he is not attending my Call. I called so many times. After 3 days he lifted my call and saying that if you withdraw the case then only I'll take you back. Otherwise, we are not going to stay together. To take back to my home, he played such a drama. Plannedly, he took the mumbai house keys also from handbag. Now, I'm staying with my friends to go office.

Now, I'm not in possition to take decision and to do anything. I don't know what I have to do now. I paid the house deposit and I used to pay the rent also, eventhough, I'm staying in friends house. It is not a problem to remove the case. But, on what basis I can remove the case? Does he loves me? till now I didn't find love from my husband. If he has a love, he cannot played that drama on wedding anniversary. I bought 12 gifts for him. But, gone everything..... Just because of God fearing girl, I'm waiting for his love. I don't want to loose my husband and my family. For this reason, I'm looking out for help to go further step. Please suggest me if you have any idea.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     15 June 2012

@ Author,

Yours is a false case based on “teaching husband / his side a lesson”


Reasoning:

 

1. A software professional from Guntur and or Hyderabad cannot buy her self SIM card is highly un-believable.


2.
A software professional who can share 1L towards pagadi  to rent out a flat in Mumbai does not bring her own pre-marriage no. SIM card to Mumbai is another highly un-believable allegation.


3.
Hon'ble SC says in one of its earliest S. 498a / S. 406 IPC precedent that in husband – wife relationship if wife shares some money for renting couples accommodation then it does not construe "mental cruelty per se meaning under S. 498a IPC" to charge husband and or his side under S. 498a IPC !.

 


4.
Sharing internet pwd cannot be brought as "mental cruelty" to charge a husband and or his side under S. 498a IPC and on tax payers money your prosecution side will have toughtest time proving it to convict your husband and or his side of family under S. 498a IPC.

 


5.
A simple Application by your Husband to call for video frottage of concerned bank’s ATM machine of withdrawn transaction by him will prove his innocence on allegation of ‘withdrawing certain amount from your debit card by my husband’. Mind it as per one of the RBI circular it is mandatory to retain such fottage for minimum 3 years by all scheduled Banks.

 

6. Mumbai is a metropolis which runs on local traind and less on commuting by buses. Even if you commute to office via bus then also a software professional is not running into penury to ‘allege’ that my husband did not even give me bus ticket charges to go to office’. Common who drafted your complaint J

 


7.
Lady his family should be thanked that Shimla trip was cut short as the elders from his side sensed that some copulation he may indulge into and then it will be more of an headache to dispense a teaching lesson wife and thus the social narration which you placed here is result of far sight of his side of elders.

 


8.  
Two software professionals living in a rented flat it is obvious that they both shall be having flat’s duplicate keys and it is highly unlikely that just to debar your entry into the flat he will indulge into pick pocketing your keys from your handbag. I mean who is the great grandmaster writing such complaints now-a-days we must know
J

 

9. The moment you say before us that “It is not a problem to remove the case.” I say the issue rests here for a simple reason in AP State S. 498a IPC is “compoundable” and easiest to compound the same leaving you with a lollipop at the end. And above quote of yours is the most faulty experiment you gifted to yourself by keeping faulty circle of advisers.


 

10. Love is not found out of a shack on a department store shelf in Mumbai and or in Guntur and or even as a matter of fact available off the counter in Hyderabad lady. All that you shall do now is to compound the case and part graciously from your husband and delete his name from joint property that your side gifted to both of you as you say and I am sure based on experience he will graciously delete his name from such joint property gifted by his in-laws at the time of marriage. The moment you start thinking on these lines see how relieved you will be. In case you say NO then Lordship Chandu, Advocate I find the most knowledgeable in S. 498a IPC for AP resident ladies and believe me when I say 'convict this husband by all means now". We want some conviction statistics from AP State.


All the best.  

1 Like

MRRpersonality (Knows very little about Indian laws)     15 June 2012

@Latha:  There are two parts to your story.  Pre-498A and Post-498A,

 

You pre-498a: based on your narration of the facts (you may have missed many other important facts) like Sim card, Mail ID, ATM debit card usage, property registration etc could have been handled without resorting to the combative step of 498A.   You did not mention any allegations that amounted to physical or mental assault on you.  Indeed forgive me if you really had other allegations that called for this action.

 

Post-498a.  How can you still keep the charges on him active and still live with him ?  The damage is already done.  In 498a world, there are only conviction or acquittal for the guilty.  There is not much scope for a middle ground or keeping him under threat to live together.  This is called emotional black mail.

 

Now you are seeking help to restore the marriage.  is it still possible ?  I dont know. Your husband's side is deeply hurt and probably you have endangered their lives.   You will need to make couple of positive steps forward and see how it works.  This includes withdrawing 498a.   I somehow believe that you can make your marriage work by being less suspicious of your husband's actions (just ignore those thoughts for a while) and adding atleast one simple step a week that establishes your love towards him.   I am sure he will reciprocate.   

 

If the nature of your husband continues or he really harasses you more, you know what to do.  You have already learnt the process of 498a, and you can handle it better the second time.   

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     15 June 2012

Do not withdraw your case if you have strong evidences to prove their guilt.  Otherwise withdraw.  File for judicial separation in his divorce petition as a counter and also move an application to decide about property u/s.27 of HMA in your favor. Do not show you are eager to rebuild relationship. He alleged that you smoke and drink. Right?  You may not prove to the world that you don't smoke and drink.  But you know you don't smoke and drink. And so you know he made false allegations.  Did you ask him why you made false allegations about my character when you went along with him to Shimla?

 

You are sure he is a liar.  Know one thing.  To prove that he is guilty of misconduct you have to prove evidences to court.  You don't require any evidences to realize that he is guilty because you are victim and so you know about him and you know yourself that you don't smoke and drink and so you know he is lying.  When you know he is guilty of certain misconduct, it is you who have to decide what is to be done with him more than worrying how to prove his misconduct.  Now your problem is not how to prove his misconduct in court of law but to arrive at your own decision with regard to maintaining and continuing marital relationship with him given the bad experiences you had. For arriving at this decision, you need not bother who you should provide evidences that he is bad.  You know he is bad, so you can make a decision on that basis.

 

If he made that kind of allegations, not only for you, he does not deserve to be anyone's husband.  Just forget him and live alone peacefully.  Marriages these days happen on trial and error basis.  You tried it failed.  You erred in judgment.  You will try one more fellow later.  Be casual about it.

cm jain sir (ccc)     15 June 2012

U all have already filed 498a -the worst weapon which destroy the matrimonial relationship completely and now u and ur family want/expect that they should come to you to maitain a good relationship.

He took some money for house rent from your account to pay- is it 498a! u take drinks and smokes that what he tells - is it 498a! He returned back from shimla trip due to hospitalization in Appolo of some relatives-is it 498a! registered some of ur property in ur joint name-is it 498a! U purchased mobile but  a software professional from mumbai who is having debit/credit card and bank account , is not able to take a sim card from mumbai- is it also a 498a case!

 

option-1: If you really want a good married life and want to see both the family happy then come on ground level leaving the ego of ur profession and money. you should be thankful to ur husband that after filing false 498a case also he is trying to take back u.

option-2:Go ahead with your case and see how the two families destroy their lfie running behind court and police.

 you are the main person to decide on the above two options.

Pawan (Others)     16 June 2012

Hi Latha,

I am not a Lawyer but after reading your case I can say one this that your husband can trouble you after you withdraw your case. You should have gone to that extent if you wanted to stay togeteher as once you go behind cases like 498 u cannot expect ppl to forget everything and love the same way they did before.

I am being harrased by my wife for divorce and as did not oblige they are threatning me that they will file 498 against me and my family members. Probably you are the best person to judge if ur husband has realyy changed or not if u think he did then withdraw the case and be happy together if u think he is just pretending then you can continue with the case and u will have to prove your allegations so keep collecting evidences. Hope everything settles down soon. At this point in the night its we who are online in LCI checking for legal advices as we want to be togeher with our better halfs but they are happy and fast asleep without us..


(Guest)

@Latha if your Husband and his family did the fault you can keep the case.

If they did not do that then if was a blunder from your side.


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