Priya (Manager) 04 November 2013

Husband putting demands to take wife back home

I regularly read your opinions in this forum to grasp legal knowledge. I need your help to let me know how to proceed my case in best possible manner as I find you all very knowledgeable in legal matters.

Me and my husband got into arranged marriage around 3 years back through newspaper matrimonial section. My father-in-law demanded expensive car and lavish wedding arrangements during marriage as he has only one son (i.e. my husband) and I am only daughter to my parents. Everything went fine , we found these demands ‘OK’ considering mentality of Indian society.

Problem started from 2^nd month onwards – when my in-laws started asking my salary details , my expense statement for which I said I dnt have enough salary to provide you as I have emptied my account in my wedding expense. Slowly, things started getting worse. My in-laws dominating and aggressive nature and my husband totally supporting his parents made things bitter on which my parents family had to intervene. Both families had huge verbal fight but nothing resolved. One year after, my in-laws sent me to my “Maayka” on my brother child birth but didn’t come to take me back home for 5months. When my parents asked why they are not taking me back or asking my husband to take me back home, my in-laws made huge scene out of that saying First my family should ask Sorry for favoring their daughter (myself) in previous fight and pay R3lakh cash to him for their house construction. My parents (oblivious of my in-laws intention) paid him that amount and didn’t inform me about this demand.

5 months later, my husband came to take me back home. Post which , they also withdraw Rs 10 lakh from my account on pretext of their house construction. I asked them to take this amount via cheque or online transaction for which they completely denied. Because they didn’t want to maintain any record of money taking from us. They instigated my husband also to beat me up for saying NO to them. In past 3 years, they beated me physically 4 times for some or other reason. My husband is 100% in their control and he doesn’t know how to balance between wife and parents. I had no problem in living with my in-laws and adjusted myself to their behavior. I am fed up with my husband as he is spine-less.

When they beated me 4^th time in Aug’13, It got enough for me , I called up my family and police and lodged a police complaint against my husband and his parents. Police took me to AIIMS trauma center and I got my MLC done also. Seeing police pressure, my husband broke up and suddenly agreed to live separate with me . Considering the situation there, I didn’t want him to get arrested so I did compromise there and agreed to live with my husband separately if he is sincerely thinking to make our marriage work.

2 months have passed, I am staying at my parents place. For past 2 months, my husband has put on condition that first remove police complaint completely , only then I will live with you. Else you will keep lodging such complaints again and again in future. I confirmed from police sources also that my complaint is no longer valid and doesn’t hold any importance as we both reached a compromise. But my husband is using this as an excuse NOT to live with me. I am sure my in-laws are behind all this strategy.

Honestly, I dnt want my marriage to break but current circumstances are hinting me to break this marriage else I will repent whole life. There is no emotional bond created between both of us due to which we have no kid.

I need your help which path to take on – First approach Women cell and then file case if reconciliation fails OR file case directly. Will court ask me to go back to Women cell at any stage ? I call up my husband every 3-4^th day but he has not got 1% softer towards me. He is adamant at his demand to remove police complaint which is no longer valid. He and his family members are not social . They dnt have friends or neighbors or relatives else I would have taken their help.

My entire joint family is very against simply taking mutual divorce right now. As they say my in-laws (greedy people) should get some punishment. To add to my misery, Even now my husband completely denies admitting taking any of my (10 lakh) or my family money. He says what proof do we have against them as all money was in cash..

I am really confused . please suggest me something.

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9 Replies

sandykrish (Interested in Family LAW) 04 November 2013

Hi Priya,

Considering your case you are alleging that your in-laws have beaten you several time in the span of marital life. I know to an extent these are normal wear and tear in the family. You also know that your Husband is in the control of your in-Laws if this is the case the situation will definitely improve by the time you conceive and when you have a child of own.

Now this is entirely my view considering the facts given by you. Now your question of lodging a complaint in the CAW cell this means that you are planning for 498 A case against your husband. If you willing to save this marriage we would recommend you to start talking to yo your husband with the help of elders. If this doesn't work now you have to introspect in 2 ways.

1. Do you want to stay with your Husband? or

2. You would like to take divorce

If 1 then go and file RCR U/S 9 of HMA mention all the details and pray the court that you need your husband back. Once the matter in court they will faciliate the mediation then you could ask your husband for a separate house with resonable conditions

Else straight away file Divorce U/S 13 (1) Cruelty and dessertion grounds.

No point in instigating the 498 A cases and DV against your husband these will only make lawyers rich for both the sides. If you dont like somebody revenge is not the way to teach them a lesson, walk out of this dead marriage and show that you can lead a better life by choosing the soul mate who understands you better.

Now the decision is yours. I have given the briefings in a nutshell. If you want me to talk then leave a PM with your number. Only if you like to talk

(Guest)

If you want marriage to sustain the difficult period then you have to take back the complaint. With police complaints no marriage will work. Its logical that your husband now finds you as a litigant. You may use the complaint later if he doesn't listen to you. He may opt to lose you instead of losing his respect.

Having said that, you will also have your own apprehensions about your husband's misbehavior and your safety. That's totally understood. So I would suggest you to give a good thought on whether you can live with your husband or not. If NO is the answer get your money and file for mutual consent divorce.

To even think neutrally, people need help. Sit with some good family counselors and then decide for yourself.

LegalExpert (Lawyer) 04 November 2013

According to the above known facts or mentioned by you in your above query, priya your marriage is dead, your husband and your in laws have made their mind not to get you back. better take your timely decision as peace and harmony of mind can;t be compared. and the people those are suggesting you to teach them a lesson or get them punished, dont know the fact that how much punishment you will get in the court halls by facing derogatory allegations. Considering your case, my suggestion is better file MCD and live your life with respect and dignity.

Reformist !!! (Other) 05 November 2013

Priya,

As per the described facts if u are ready to save your marriage, then personally i will advice you "NOT TO FILE ANY CASE" in any situation. Take my wordings, as filing any case will worse the situation and will spoil your marriage completely.

See if ur 1 complaint has made him so adamant, then u can think how will he behave if u take him to court for RCR or divorce on cruelty grounds.

Decision is urs, I would always suggest u to sit with elders and sort the matter amicably.

If u do not love him anymore or no emotions left for him then part ur ways with him after getting alimony and MCD. live ur life peacefully afterwards without the tag of 498A girl.

And if he is ready to stay seperate from his family, u can take a chance and lead ur life with him in rented accomodation.

Samir N (General Queries) (Business) 05 November 2013

I almost agree with @LegalExpert with respect to the conclusory part: Separate, divorce and move on. But...

As a general rule, I participate in this forum to help men fight DV cases but there are two things that I despise thoroughly. One is dowry or any demand by the husband or his family seeking money, in any form, at any stage of the marriage or before and the other is violence. I am no Gandhian and usually my advice on violence is to reciprocate it in kind. So, next time if this situation arises, give them a big thrashing with whatever you get your hand on. I advice the same to men who childishly complain of the same!

Any man who stoops so low as to ask money from his wife or in-laws, in my book, is not manly enough to have any wife. So, just dump him and find another one. You do not have children so that's one more reason to lead a separate life. With respect to recovery of your money, it will be virtually impossible to recover the 10 lakhs that you say were given in cash. First, with due respect to your statement, even a casual reader is not going to believe that it was paid in cash, let alone a Judge. However, as they say, there are many ways to skin a cat. So, be strong and file as many cases as you can and pursue them until all your monies are recovered. There are many ways to do so... You can virtually block all their assets from been sold, get restraining orders on sale of assets stating that they were purchased using your monies, or freeze their accounts, file new criminal cases, DV, 498 dowry, cruelty... Hey Indian Legal System has given you the whole nuclear arsenal to fight us guys...

I am giving you this advice ONLY if indeed they have taken dowry and other monies from you for whatever reason and beaten you physically. If none of these facts are accurate, then excuse me for saying this, but you really deserve a beating because the filing of false cases results in extreme distress to the husband's family.

If you are going to file legal cases, plan thoroughly with all the what-if possibilities. Do not take random steps. Sequence everything in a planned and phased manner. Advocates cannot do this for you. Do your own reading. Your case sounds very similar to one I responded to which was posted by someone from Bangalore. Are you the same person?

Divorce and family court cases can be emotionally taxing. Enjoy in the mean time. Exercise, diet and get yourself in shape, if not already in shape! See how good you will feel about yourself. Find yourself a boyfriend if you don't have one. Find two, if you can manage that. Have fun. Life is too short to spend just fighting cases... When you get your divorce, you should be ready with the next husband. But this time make sure that he has money and gives most of it to you in cash so he has no proof of it later. Catch a rich bakra, have two children and live happily ever after! End of Movie!!!

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate) 05 November 2013

Priya,

By your expressions and if they are to be taken as facts, I think you better get rid of your horrifying married life which will turn worst one day if not checked at any stage thereby even the life's safety will be at peril. Better think about amicable ways of parting with each other so that the financial loss and more damage to the reputation of the family's name and fame can be avoided.

Laxmi Kant Joshi (Advocate ) 05 November 2013

Priya ji on taking view of yours above given facts i suggest you for your future and life security better to quit from this marriage , don't file any case ,sort out the matter amicabilly and insist him to go for divorce , take help of your elders , as these people.are greedy , liar and inhuman your life will always be remain in danger so get rid from this relationship and then start a new life .