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Queriest (NA)     17 August 2014

Harassment & betrayal to wife

Hello Forum experts, need your help to get guidance for one of my friend.  She is working in Bangalore, and her husband is working in Chennai.

They got married 3 months back. I t was an arranged marriage.

Soon after marriage was announced and invitation letter sent, Husbands mother started demanding couple of Lakh rupees and more Jewels. As you know, many people try to settle and focus to get their daughter married. So Girls side tried to pay what Husbands mother asked.

After marriage, Both husband and wife met on 2-3 week end as they work on different locations.  This is the time only when they stayed together. Marriage is not consumated.  She was telling that her husband was demanding also to hand over her entire salary to him and was asking to get property share now itself from her parents. She was not shown a little pinch of affection and it was each time she need to travel to meet husband as he denied to travel to bangalore so that both can meet.

She does nto want to trouble her parents and she feels that marriage will nto work out. Her husband is always torchering her and scolding her and asking her not to come to chennai home. She wants to end marriage.

Also want to mention that husbands parents are also behaving same way, and asking her to stay away.

This is a case of dowry harassment,  also suspect impotency of husband .. but but my friend do not want to file any criminal case against her husband. She feels that it is better to come out of situation with divorce and look for another life.

Want to know what are grounds to ask for divorce other than mutual. Her husband is not willing to coperate to stay together nor to divorce. Your valudble advice please.



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 2 Replies

Rangee (Lawyer)     17 August 2014

Impotency per se is not ground for obtaining divorce nor non consumation is the ground for divorce. The court will ask what is degree of impotency. Since you are not interested in lodging any complaint under domestic violence act, dowry act and 498A you have to first see that what all the dowry or Gold is returned back to you in tactical manner. You have  to wait for one year before you file papers for consent divorce in the court. since the  husband does not give consent to divorce, then you have file divorce under cruelty concurrently lodge complaint under domestic violence act etc. Gather all the the required evidence in the matter. consult a good lawyer he will file  divorce case  on the grounds of cruelty, but court will drag on the case and give ample opportunity to both of you for settlement that is main crux of the matter. Yet you will get divorce and may without any compensation and maintenance in this case.

R.S.K.Singh 

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     17 August 2014

Hi Queriest, Thank you for posting on behalf of your friend.
For simplicity, I am directly responding to your friend below.
 
Hello there,
 
Please note. As per law, both asking for dowry and giving dowry are offences.
 
In a hurry to get you married, your parents have committed the dowry offence by offering bribe/dowry as demanded by your husband's mother. Your parents should have stopped marriage on demand of money/jewel from your husband's mother. So, the dowry offence applies to both the parents here in your case.
 
In the short time of 2 to 3 weeks you have met, if consummation has not happened, that is not a big deal at all. Consummation should happen naturally when both parties come together emotionally.
In your case, the issue has started even before marriage. Also you both are living physically separated.
You have also told that your husband has not shown even "a little pinch of affection" on you.
Then how both of you will consummate the marriage? Please give some time for the same.
Both of you go to doctor if consultation is needed.
 
Please try whether both of you can start living together either in Chennai or Bangalore.
 
You mentioned that you are a working woman. 
After your marriage, both of you should share the family expenses if both of you are working.
If your husband has asked to share your salary, what is the crime there?
Are you not expecting your husband to spend on you?
Before marriage, did you make any agreement with your husband for not to pay your salary to him?
Asking for your salary is not a crime.
 
If your husband is demanding property share from you, record his demand in a voice recorder.
If your husband is always torturing and scolding you, record the same in a voice recorder.
Then file a case on him. 
Even if you do not have voice recording, you can simply walk into a police station and give complaint.
Our law is one sided to women and your case will be immediately registered. 
And, if you want you can get your husband and in-laws arrested.
As per SC directive, now a days police do preliminary enquiry before doing any arrest. 
 
Why do you suspect impotency? Do you know both men and women have impotency?
Like the respected lawyer Rangee mentioned, you have to prove the degree of impotency.
If court asks both of you to go for medical checkup, then only the degree of impotency can be asserted.
 
Consider the case of one of my friend. He is potent.  But his wife could not get pregnant because of her health issues.  But my friend did not divorce her. They are hopeful and trying many medical help to become parents of a child. They are happily married for 12 years now. 
 
We are all creation of God. Let us not humiliate each other by throwing impotency or infertility allegations.

This forum will really appreciate that you do not want to file any criminal case on your husband.
 
But you seem to have lost trust on your husband as well as on your ability to carry forward with this marriage.
 
As per law, you have to wait for one year before filing for divorce.
You can file case under cruelty as you have listed many offences against your husband.
Gather and have all evidences against your husband.
If you can prove those offences, you can get divorce in few years after filing divorce.
 
Or if you want early divorce, embarrass your husband by filing a divorce based on non-consummation.
Due to embarassement, your husband might skip the court hearings. 
Then you will get exparte decree of divorce or annullment as the case may be.
 
But, if your husband appears in court and proves his potency by medical records, then your case will fail. Again you have to find other reasons to divorce him.
 
Essentially, you will lose many crucial years of your young life.

Before trying any of these suggestions, make sure you have done your best conscious efforts to understand and love your husband and save your marriage.

You said that your parents even gave lot of dowry to get you married?
Now, what are they saying to your decision of ending this marriage in 3 months.
Hope you have got their advice also.

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