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Krishna   28 July 2015

Divorce on the ground of cruelty

Hello,

I am in a very difficult predicament. The following are the facts pertaining to my current situation.

  • I got married on 26th January, 2015 to my wife after our engagement on 10th March,2014.
  • Since she is was studying in Pune and I am working in Bangalore we are not staying together.
  • We only stayed together for the first two weeks of our marriage during which she denied s*x without giving any reason( note that the marriage was consummated however soon after first week of marriage she started denying s*x) She also does not show any affection towards me.
  • I ignored this since she is young and probably needed time. However, when I visit her in college I see her show affection to one of her male classmates. When I confronted this to her along with her denial of physical relationship she got very aggressive and accused me of suspecting her of adultry. I have whatsapp conversations where I have said multiple times that I do not doubt her character but I am uneasy with how she confortable she is holding her friends hand. Can this whatsapp conversation be used as evidence in court.
  • When advice from parents did not work on her and on her insistence, we decided to go for professional counceling. The counseling started in April,2015. The counseling went on for awhile but was of no use. One fine day she decides to not to come for counceling eventhough the couselor said that she has behavioural problems that require intensive counselling.
  • Now her father has informed me that she does not want to work on the marriage till her studies are over in Feb,2016 and she wants to focus on her studies. Till then she does not want any contact from me. Her father said I can call her once in 2 weeks provided I do not discuss our marital problems. I have recorded this conversation. Can the recording be used as evidence?

What are my legal options now? I have done everything in my power to make this marriage work. But it is futile since she or her family show no interest in putting effort to fixing this marriage. My father underwent a renal transpant in July,2014 and I am worried about this situation affecting his recovery. I have made up by mind to leave her as my family and I are undergoing mental torture. Is this enough grounds for divorce to be granted.

I am willing to wait till Feb,2014 and convince her for divorce by mutual consent but I am skeptical about her agreeing to it. I would like to know my other options.

I am also worried of them falsely filing a domestic violence case. Can I contest this by using whatsapp message in which there is not a single mention of any abuse as proof? Also we have only lived together for 2 weeks and she visited me over two weekends in Bangalore. 

Kindly advice.



Learning

 5 Replies


(Guest)

Denying se x to husband can be a ground for asking divorce to court, but you objecting her holding someone elses hand depends on what kind of eyes you have. Mean to say, for some it is common to hold hands and hug too in public places, but once you tell that you are married, some sort of dignified behaviour should be there after a girl marries.

I support your decision.  

It is for the girl to understand what marriage is and her parents are responsible to teach her manners as to how to behave in public especially when it comes to male friends.

 

But more importantly why did the father of your wife get a school going kid mariried? was she in the process of running behind someone? or were you in the process of taking oath of celibacy if you did not get this girl? is not quite understandable.

 

Looks like you married a peach. A peach will be like this only. If you tell yes, they tell no.  if you tell no, they tell yes.

 

Here you  could as well wait for her to change until she completes her education, or you can use whatever information u have in the court of law to get divorce.

 

Marriage needs exercise of high patience which I dont see in both of you. Be cautioned that finding another girl/boy is not equal to buying new hen/cock.

 

this hen does kuk kuk kuk, new one will do some other sound, they are all the same. a known devil is better than an unknown butler is a old adage.

Once you go to court, then its ghoda hain maidaan he... saath aat saaal toh aise hi guzar jaayenge, better take MCD and move on, never try to contest divorce petition, simply you both lose age, or there is another option, be a man.

SuperHero (Manager)     30 July 2015

@Krishna - I agree with Gyan Prakash Sir Views. 

You got engaged on 10th March 2014. So where you Chatting and talking every day. Were you compatible discussing about future and how to lead a marital life. Was she matured enough??

Holding hands, hugging each other is lot common now a days. When you confront this they say you are not civilized so and so. But Some Women know there limits.

Also you got married in 26th Jan 2015. Hold on until 26th Jan 2016. See how she approaches. Show her some love and affection. 

Even after counselling looks like she doesn't listen to others much. She thinks HIGH of herself.

For Marriage to Work both hands should clap and it would take atleast few years to settled down. Again depends on each individual. 

A Known devil is better than an Unknown. The question is Can you and Your family Survive with the devil???????

Both should have Patience and Tolerance and most of all Mutual Trust and Respect. The Moment Trust is Lost..it is difficult to get it back...

Wish You Good Luck. Hope you will have a Happy Married Life.

 

1 Like

stanley (Freedom)     30 July 2015

@ Author 

At first her father should not dictate terms to you as to when you have to call and when you dont have to call . Once married he should not interfer. 

First try to convince her for Mutual consent divorce if she does not agree that file for contested divorce . And as and when you appoint an advocate its his duty to prove that you had no s*x as you are paying him his fees . 

Burden and standard of proof of no s*x in marital life is presumptive and once she  admits this husbands work is done as denial of s*x is cruelty and is a ground for divorce and it is not difficult to prove before Civil Court under civil Laws.

In case she denies that, than just ask her for v**ginal ultrasound test if she claims as per her written statement  reply that daily she had s*x with you and allegations of husband are false. One this request made before Court now see the colour of wife in Court and her lawyer stance changing and looking here and there probably at four walls of open Court room or out of the windows  in finding for right answer i.e. agree to go or not to go for a simple ultrasound test of her v**gina.


(Guest)

Agree with both Stanley and Superhero.

 

There are a lot of things which will affect married life of a couple.  Both have been explained by above advisors correctly.

it just does not take two to tango, but two families to tango.  Marriage is not a joke.  Hope your wife and your father in law understand the importance of life more importantly marriage.

 

Wishes and prayers.

SuperHero (Manager)     30 July 2015

@Krishna - The moment we enter courts, the marital ties are broken. We get humiliated in court. 

I heard some cases where couple gets united after going to court because of the long delays and postponing.

MCD is the best of all the options given Indian Court System and its delay.


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