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Rashmi   12 October 2015

Custody rights

Hi All,

 

I have been married for 5 years and i have a beautiful 19  months old boy. The issue is my Husband's parents. we are living away at the moment, but will soon come back for good. I have never been in good terms with my husband's parents simply because our wavelengths are very different. I don't interfere in what my husband does for them. We recently bought a site and constructed a house for them. I have always stuck to the fact that my son shouldn't step up or taken to his parent's house, as i simply don't trust them. My husband has blind love for them, and I want to maintain distance which i have all these years. Off late they are brainwashing my husband's mind to take my son there, due to which we are having tiffs day in and day out. They can even harm my son, this is why I’m very adamant in they not seeing my son. is there a bond or something that can be created, which I can get from court to avoid them from forcing my husband to take my son to them. Please help!. As I want to put a full stop to it. i have told them a few times to keep away. but now they are torturing me through my husband. And now my husband threatens me of divorce and taking my son away. Don't know what to do.....



 17 Replies

saravanan s (legal advisor)     12 October 2015

i feel that you are unnecessarily complicating things.how would a grandparent harm their grandchildren.i feel you are afraid that your in laws might come close to you and your husband by means of your child.if you try to do something legally that would definitely create a rift between you and your husband and might finally result in divorce only.better try to arrive at a amicable solution

Mukesh sharma (job )     12 October 2015

hi 

i read your all story you marry your husband five year back and you have one son 19 months old age i think you live before happy with ypur husband are all problem start from your marriage date 

one more thing i tell you first you talk with your husband ask why he want to give you divourse and tell him you live happy before its affect on your son life bec he want both of you love so plz understand divourse not solution all problem hope you live your life agian happy and enjoy 

if all not works then you court and file application in IPC sec 498a against your husband and parents and chlld custody depand on court 

 

LegalFighter (test)     12 October 2015

Mukesh,

498a is purely for dowry harassment.Rashmi never said anything about dowry harashment.Why are you misguiding her?.Only because of the greedy and misguiding lawyers/advisors girls are filing false cases and concocting stories.She told very clearly there is a wavelength mismatch with her inlaws.

 

Rashmi,

If you file 498a, that should be a false case and you end up with no alimony and loose your child custody too. Now courts are very furious about the false 498a bacause of increased men suicides for the past 2 decades.

 

As well if you try separating a child from the grand parents also comes under cruelty.Based on this reason your husband can get divorce without providing alimony to you.BEWARE!

Mukesh sharma (job )     12 October 2015

hi sir if you read my all artical than you understand this  iam not saying to file 498a case againt her husband and also husband parents i also tell him first you talk with your husband and try to sve your relation in end if you say they tourcher you than you file case if you read indian avidense act sec114b you must understand all of this all of at lawyer not greedy thanks  

 

LegalFighter (test)     12 October 2015

Mukesh,

 

Below is the section 498a.Let me know if you have got any such evidances of harashment from Rashmi's explanation:

 

Section 498A in The Indian Penal Code
376 [498A. Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty.—Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be pun­ished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine. Explanation.—For the purpose of this section, “cruelty” means—
(a) any wilful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman; or
(b) harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her to meet such demand.]

 

From her explanation I found she tries to disconnect the access of grand parents to her child for the reasons like wavelength mismatch and she doent trust them.So she told she scared that inlaws may beat her son.How come a very affectionate inlaws over thier son can harm thier grandson for any reason? For her egoistic cold war between her inlaws, she cannot stop them to access/visit thier own grandson.

 

 

Rashmi,

What will you do If your husband doesnt allow you to take your son to ur parents since he scared like your parents may harm his son?.More over if you try to create a bond restricting your inlaws to visit your son (with false charges agains ur inlaws or without evidence) will be treated as a cruelty to your husband and he will get divorce, you will not get alimony.

amaresh   12 October 2015

well said mr #Tamilinian..........

Rama chary Rachakonda (Secunderabad/Highcourt practice watsapp no.9989324294 )     12 October 2015

Great eminent people learn Mahabhraratha, Ramayana etc. epic stories learned with grand parents than parents. Establishing a bond with grandparents can benefit kids in many ways. Grandparents can be great role models and influences, and they can provide a sense of cultural heritage and family history. Grandparents provide their grandkids with love, have their best interests at heart, and can make them feel safe.

Grandparents also encourage a child's healthy development. Overnight trips to Grandma's house, for example, may be less traumatic than sleepovers with peers and can help kids develop independence. Another benefit — grandparents may have lots of time to spend playing and reading to kids. Such dedicated attention only improves a child's developmental and learning skills.

Rashmi   13 October 2015

Firstly, Thank u all for Responding...

Mr tamilinian,

If i'm worried about my Son's life, being a Mother obviously i need to take required measures. There is a lot of back ground to the story i kept it simple as this is a public forum. And my intention was to the point of keeping them away from my Son for so called reasons good known to me.

Do u know my Husband's Parents? How do you claim that they are affectionate towards him , and how can you pledge that they will not harm my son. Regarding my husband not allowing me to take my son to my parents, It is two different topics, as he is very well aware how they are, and his parents are. So now il throw the Question back to you, sailing in your boat, what's your take if your mother wants to protect you from people whom she knows can harm you? Think about it... While replying, please pay attention to the agony and pour in your thoughts rather than accusing or making it difficult...!!!!!

 

 

Rashmi   13 October 2015

MR Rama chary Rachakonda,

With due respect, i'm not saying that all grandparents are bad, but we must agree that there are evil ones as well, who potray none of what you mentioned...

Mukesh sharma (job )     13 October 2015

i agree with you 

 

LegalFighter (test)     13 October 2015

W.r.t the psychological view point,

 

1.people writing here in a public forum with a simple email Id and without an identity have no reasons to hide the truth even its ugly.

 

2.if ur inlaws had beaten or tortured ur son ,this statement should have come first in your post as any victim would order the most painful allegation as first.you have used a word ' they may harm'.its all your assumption and u scared that they may grab more love from ur son than u.you should understand a mom is mom , no one can separate ur son if u r sweet and lovable.

 

3. If ur in-laws don't like ur son, they don't see him.no in-law would call a grandson to beat.

I walk alone (Asst Manager)     13 October 2015

Rashmi Madam

There are certain viewpoints you need to understand.

  1. You're blessed with a baby boy! Just imagine, after growing up & post his marriage, if you future daughter in laws intention becomes the same towards you, how will you cope up with that. After giving a life to your husband bearing all his pains/demands in childhood, now you feel to seperate their son, daughter in law and Grandson togther. Pls take no offence (I dont know what circumstances had made you think so) but it is quite a cruel intention by nature to me.
  2. Had there been any such incidents which identifies as cruel in nature and amounts to some sort of mental disturbences towards you and your martial life from your in-laws. If not, then I dont think so you're going in a right direction (Until if you have been told something else by someone, which may or may not be true)
  3. Agrreing with Tamilian Sir, even if there is such incidents of beating a son by their parents (who happens to be your husband), doesn't mean that harm will come back to you and your son. If they have some cruel intention towards their son due to some x,y,z reason then your husband is also not a kid anymore and must protect himself and his family from any unforseen circumstances.
  4. If you're unwilling to re-join with them, it is advised not to create any legal issue out of it. Talk to your husband, cite a valid reason. But any which way you can not create such obstruction for the grand parents to meet their grandson. May be, you can ask them to come over to your place for some time if they want to meet & spend time. Under such incidents, at least you can supervise the events & activities.
  5. Finally, if still you're not convinced with anything around you, no-one can make you understand (you've already said, yourself are being adament about this matter, & agreeing there are some valid reason behind), instead of fighting daily, you can think upon a mutual seperation. But requesting you do not create a mess or chaos out of it. Also you can obtain, legal injunction against your in-laws, but as you previously said, you had dis-agreements with your husbands in this matter, you can well foresee things might not be smooth between you and your husband (Untill you prove him a valid reason)
  6. Finally I would suggest, this is totally family matter and being a family person, you must solve the problem inside the family only and nothing else.

Now, coming to Mr. Mukesh Sharma Sir.

  • Under which circumstances you're feeling that 498A could be pressed against the in-laws/husband? Could you cite a single reason which Ms. Rashmi Madam has mentioned in her query.
  • Well, now just imagine, the other way around, a mother in law can press charges against his daugther in law and son for mental cruelty and domestic violence (at the end of the day, she is also a female, isnt it? and any un-wanted act from her daughther in law might amount to cruelty to the her isnt it?
  • Dont you think, if she (Rashmi Madam) does not want to live with her husband due to his unconditional love for his parents, might opt for MCD with custody of the children is anothe best option instead of filing a wrong case against her husband?

Sir, requesting youself from suggesting anything like this. It is very unfortunate to see such suggestions. "if all not works then you court and file application in IPC sec 498a against your husband and parents and chlld custody depand on court"

Sir do you even know, what kind of mental in-stability happens to a husband and a father when sees himself entangles around a false case and such like 498 or Domestic violence?

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     13 October 2015

Originally posted by : Rashmi
Firstly, Thank u all for Responding...

Mr tamilinian,

If i'm worried about my Son's life, being a Mother obviously i need to take required measures. There is a lot of back ground to the story i kept it simple as this is a public forum. And my intention was to the point of keeping them away from my Son for so called reasons good known to me.

Do u know my Husband's Parents? How do you claim that they are affectionate towards him , and how can you pledge that they will not harm my son. Regarding my husband not allowing me to take my son to my parents, It is two different topics, as he is very well aware how they are, and his parents are. So now il throw the Question back to you, sailing in your boat, what's your take if your mother wants to protect you from people whom she knows can harm you? Think about it... While replying, please pay attention to the agony and pour in your thoughts rather than accusing or making it difficult...!!!!!

 

 

after going through your query as you said that your knows yours in laws and also his parents who natured him to this stage that he can take best decisions by himself and after all this episode he told if you object to this then final outcome is divorce means understand well how caring is your in laws are and it seems that your understanding is not proper towards your inlaws

okay as above replies one has asked about your parents if your husband objects for the same what is your reaction to that you have not answered

and if you think it is very harmful then you consult a local lawyer for better solution as you are unable to give full details in a forum

Rashmi   13 October 2015


Mr Tamilian,

1. I'm a woman after all, so ofcourse i'm a bit more cautious to protect my identity. A simple email id can create a havoc, and can do many things that we can't envisage!


2. Does harm mean Beating/torturing.. Harm has many different meanings.. , mom is a mom like u said, so why would i fear that they will grab more love from my son? as i know what kind of special bond i have with my baby.. in saying that u mean to say that mothers who are not so sweet and lovable to their children , have been snatched away from their kids. I beg to differ as i have seen many cases otherwise.

3. No-inlaw would call a grandson to beat?? do u read news/newspapers? what are you claiming so confidently?

 


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