Upgrad LLM

breach of trust and loyalty

Professional

Hello Sir/Madam,

 

I need help in understanding and deciding on what to do.

 

Six months back I got married. Recently I got to know that my wife has a love affair with her class mate while she was studying. I do see some past (before marriage) mail communication and web chat between them proposing and expressing their feelings of love; and also the chat/mails shows that they were talking over mobile for a long duration (around 1hour or so on each call). We had around 45 days gap between engagement and marriage; they had mail communication, web chats and phone conversation even that time also. One of the mails which received just 1 month before the marriage shows that they had live-in relationship aswell.

 

I do not see any mail/chat after marriage; but I doubt they will in touch over phone.

 

By knowing all this, I am disgusted and feeling humiliated. I am no more interested to live with her because of her unethical behavior.

 

Is the above data is sufficient for applying divorce?

If not, what more information should I have to prove their love affair and relationship?

On what basis (like adultery, not interested, love affair etc.) I have go for divorce?

 

I work for a private firm and getting considerable amount as the salary; and my wife is unemployed;

Being mistake from her side, if I apply for divorce; does she has the right to ask for maintenance?

 

If yes, what is the amount that she will ask for?

what does law says about the maintenance to the wife in spite of her unethical, unfaithful and disloyal behavior?

 

Please suggest me on how to proceed and what to do from my side.

 

Thanks in advance.

 
Reply   
 
Senior Partner

 

@ Author,

Kindly get over with a 'Indian men’s always look for a virgin and fair bride syndrome' called too unpractical puritan without basis in present world thought process imbibed from grannies lap still to lots of Indian men. Come to realities of 21st. century man………


A que. for you now is; before marriage and almost identical duration did you never looked upon or were friendly with any un married women kya? ......so what is so unethical, disgusting in all these when she was not even your property (means wife) that she had few male friends and once they talked of some love and some gossips as in two adults talks man. 


Also if my above lines are hurting you and you feel like jumping from Qutab Minar (though the entrance is closed now-a-days) then read just few Bare Acts (law books) such as DV Act, CrPC (i.e. S. 498a IPC), HMA, FC Act etc. and get enlightened how difficult it is going to be for your side to try to prove (that also beyond doubt) some pre-marriage friendly relationship of your wife with few of her collegues or classmates or neighbors whatever they were before the Court. 


Also for records I fail to understand why in today’s DTH Adult TV age still Indian Men’s mindset is struck to Ramas yuga ? I mean common man you sound as if you are the only last surviving ‘puritan’ MAN left in entire world.

Well, answering to your maint. Q&A; if she is un-employed then she is entitled to receive minimum 1/3rd. of your income and add further discretion of concerned court and also donot forget to add the multiple maintenance suits she has a right to file upon you to seek same maintenance and still not convinced then further add number of years you will be ended up paying just because you “moved first” means filed divorce first on some so many months back pre-marriage discoveries of a women’s (now who is your wife) past when she was nothing as in a “relationship” with you or your side of family !.


Instead I suggest, give love and security to your wife and receive compassion followed by companionship for a long innings from her which will be more counter productive then being struck to some “detective work” in a new marriage. Unless she is still onto to her old flames and is neglecting you and your side of family don’t venture into such early thoughts is fair advise to take or reject choice is yours.

Think cool and carry with your life………


Total likes : 3 times

 
Reply   
 


propra

Did you ask her before marriage, in clear words, that..................

whether she had any affair in the past?

whether she had ever stared at the poster of Amir/salman khan/Hritik?

whether she had travelled ever in a crowded bus while going to college?

 

Did she ask you, in clear words, whether you ever had crush on any girl in your college days or dreamed of any bollywood heroine?

 

 

Give answers  truthfully (otherwise she may sue you for impotency!!)

 
Reply   
 
UNEMPLOYED

" Give answers  truthfully (otherwise she may sue you for impotency!!) "

mainingless talks.

vometing of words.

nothing solid; logical and intelligent approach.

 
Reply   
 
UNEMPLOYED

*  Is the above data is sufficient for applying divorce?

- not at all. sc clearly stating that whatever happen before marriage is not a subject for divorce.

 

*  what more information should I have to prove their love affair and relationship?

-  after marriage if there is any breach of contract, court will look into it.

 

*  does she has the right to ask for maintenance?

-  yes. there is full probability.

 

-  what i feel, the girl side should clear the matter to you before the marriage, very perticularly the live in relationship, which is almost equivalent to a marriage. actually it is a breach of contract. because you accept her as a maiden, which she was really not.

this is a legal point.

you may ask divorce on this ground. but you have to prove the authenticity of the datas. - a hard task.


Total likes : 1 times

 
Reply   
 
UNEMPLOYED

talk frankly to your wife first. but  do not disclose the information you got.

talk with her tactfully.

might be it is a naughty work by some interested person who wants your divorce or detachment with your wife. therefore without proper investigation, blaming her will be a cruelty.

as you told, one after one you received the information..., it seems that someone giving you informations with bad intention. keep watch on this side also.

 
Reply   
 
Senior Partner

@ Arup

"Marriage is a contract" is a minority legal view and could be purely a persuasive direction if any and I have yet to see one single ld. Judge term "Marriage to be a contract" as in CONTRACT ! Look into the word and phrase interpretation of what is a contract and its applicabality to Family Law then may be you may understand what I am trying to express here. 
  

Hence, I differ to your above (replied to author) views.


Total likes : 3 times

 
Reply   
 

Forget about the past love affair 

As your wife loves you dont take any step  which ruin   you and your wife 

As you said I do not see any mail/chat after marriage; but I doubt they will in touch over phone

Look life doesnt run on doubt and court doesnt run on doubts but on true facts 

so my advise is to love your wife dont take any harsh steps which ruin your life and wife totally.

you have a care and love towards your wife thats why you have checked about all these information and after marriage she only loves you then left your doubt and live with your wife happily.


Total likes : 1 times

 
Reply   
 

I totally agree with Timesjobindia & Mr Kushan Vyas.

@ ABHI- Forget the past , love & support her, give time to your relationship , everything will be fine, don't look for nasty reasons or silly reason to break this marriage.  Respect your marriage & relationship. What you are expecting things are not like that, world has changed alot. so don't feel bad about your wife's past relations, past is past, think about present and make it good.

@ Timesjobindia- iam really impressed with your first post on this forum, such a good explaination, very honest.  Keep doing good.

 
Reply   
 

Abhi

I am replying cause as I am going through the same situation.
I live overseas got married 8 months ago. After Marriage I came to know she had relation with her boyfriend and later he refused to marry her ...at least that’s what she told me ...I did tried to compromise when I came to know all this ...

However the betrayal I had from her never left my mind .I loved her like anything ... may be now too. But I am afraid the distrust I had from her can never leave my mind. I feel like I will never be able to trust her with anyone.

Although she says she loves me and won’t sign the DV papers..... I am full of hate for her. I am still overseas & feel like slapping her when I think of the time as she made me go through hell before telling her story.

If she was honest with me and I agree we live the so called the 21st century, she would have told me days before marriage or straight after marriage. 

It’s a selfish & mean behaviour to me

Sometimes it is different deal when it happens others life and easy to comment on others.

But the question is can you compromise, can you trust her, can you forget the things she has done in the past and last but vey important can you never ever be emotional about it……. Then stay with her(Just a personal suggestion, no rainchecksJ)

 
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