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Jennifer smile (Advisor finance)     07 July 2012

Betrayal of husband & his family

Dear Friends,
Am Jennifer live at chennai, Completed my BA Eng & currently working, Am living with my Mother & Younger Brother. Now am 24 yrs. Before 5years i got registered married to a guy who lives here at chennai, its register marriage at the register office without the knowledge of my my mother & his parents. He promised me that he'll take me with him once his elder brother's marriage is over , its been 2yrs his bro got married yet i live at my mothers house, its been many at times i been asking him to take me home with him but no action from his end. He was just enjoying having fun with me. He used to take lot of money from my earnings. In the past 5yrs 1day he said he wants around 1L to clear his existing debts as his friend keeps torchering him, as his salary was only 13k he couldnt apply even for a loan so he asked me for money & he will repay, so i with emotionally bonded with him gave him sum of 90k as i had only that left. & after this he quit his job saying the company is over pressurizing him so he was jobless for 8months from then, days go on he started utilizing me for intimacy & for the money for his expence. As this being the situation i was gettin so upset on his behaviours so i discussed with him & he finally got a job in the Call center for the night shift were i refused him to join that job as i understood what that field sounds as already his behaviour is changed so i told him not to go for it & moreover his relevant field was retail business as he had enuf experience on it. But he didnt listen & Joined. Days went his behaviour drastically changed he stopped calling me in regular & stopped meeting me & finally this day he asked me he wants to go for a drink with his new office mates were i strongly objected but he lied to me & went. The next morning his dad called me & said he fell into accident for over boozing & riding the 2wheeler i was upset. Rushed to the Genereal hospital chennai. Its been a head clot he had was admitted for 15 days there, Daily for that 15days i used to go to the hospital by 5am leave to office by 8am & after office again come back by 8.30 pm & leave by 11.30 pm only if am done organizing someone to stay with him at night. With all these done both the families know we love eachother, my mom awaiting for the marriage but they had not decided to get it done. Now after all these years begging him i thought its not good going as every time he meets me he wants only intimacy & money so i thought ill walk out. Asked him for a mutual divorce. But he turned it different. My mom came to my marriage registration & she went asking to him about it this happened wen am out of station official trip. She invited them to my house i told am not intrested meeting them & told my mom am not intrested living with him & left. His family came to my house had the discussion were the illtreated my mother saying am the worst character & ive destrayed their son's life. I dont understand in which way they coat this , i didnt c for beauty or money & love him & to say he didnt have both moreover am the true looser lost in every aspect. This is a thunder shock to my family because they truely belive am a wise decider in my family but now feel into a ditch. His entire family acted to me to was away my happiness & been enjoying with my earnings. The record shows only 90K but ive spent morethan 3L upon him. After the quarrel happened in my house mom literally teared from her heart so with fraustration i called him he said hereafter its his parents decission he will no more respond me. So i called his dad & said i dont wanna proceed with his son &  req for divorce & my sum of 90k back but he started abusing me over the phone i couldnt here the abusals so i disconnected the call & just text him saying he has throughly planned & sucked my blood little by little. For the messages ive sent they have given a police complaint on me. Here tommorrow am going to face it. Hope i require all your suggestion to proceed this case my friends. 



Learning

 13 Replies

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     07 July 2012

1.  File divorce case.

2.  File Section 498-A case for demanding dowry and harassing you during the matrimonial bond.

3.  File dowry demand case under Dowry Prohibition Act.

You will get divorce and also the amount you spent on him.

Jennifer smile (Advisor finance)     07 July 2012

Thank u Mr. Chandu o get the legal terms to proceed, but my doubt is now is that he has given the case in the police station stating i haressted him & his parents with abusive words over the phone on the day i mentioned i was frastrated & called them to say my unwillingness to proceed with him. Will it cause any bad impression on me. How can i proceed. Can i proceed from this case itself saying they have torchered me for dowry & he had his time? Can u help on this note.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     07 July 2012

@ Chandu,

 

RECALL!

New Delhi (19th. June 2007): Setting aside a verdict of the Bombay High Court, the Supreme Court has held that the demand for money by husband from in-laws for meeting domestic expenses would not come under the ambit of dowry warranting criminal prosecution.

 

"A demand for money on account of some financial stringency or for meeting some urgent domestic expenses or for purchasing manure cannot be termed as a demand for dowry," a bench comprising Justices G P Mathur and R V Raveendran said as quoted by PTI.

 

In an important ruling relating to dowry harassment cases, the Supreme Court bench has set aside the verdict of the Bombay High Court, which had affirmed the trial court sentencing a man to seven years rigorous imprisonment in a dowry death case.

 

While quashing the conviction, the Bench said the statement of the mother of the deceased recorded a day after her death did not state that the cause for ill- treatment was "a demand for money and a consequent beating".

 

"Accepting the statements of father and mother on their face value the utmost which can be held is that the husband had asked his wife to bring money for meeting domestic expenses and for purchasing manure," the Bench said.

 

"The evidence adduced by the prosecution does not show that any demand for "dowry" as defined in Section 2 of the Dowry Prohibition Act was made by the husband," the Bench held.

 

According to prosecution and victim's parents, she was continuously harassed for dowry and whenever she went to their house, she used to tell them about how her husband and mother-in-law were harassing her and how they used to occasionally beat her.

 

The court was also informed that the parents along with some relatives went to the house of their daughter and tried to persuade them not to ill treat her after which she was treated well for few months but later the harassment continued.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

@ Jennifer,

 

1. You betrayed your own family first of all by falling into love at a indoctrinated young age and then marrying secretly and then spending money out of your own sweet will on your  love still being educated and highly qualified in a decent profession position as mentioned under your name in the post knowing well the foundation of such relationships were founded on shaky quicksand.

2. Hire Sh. Chandu services as he sees in all cases of "demands for money" as dowry cases only and beyond that he assumes such facts dripped into "domestic violence" ras-malai. Now -a-days any Lawyers can practice anywhere in India; Sh. Chandu practices in Delhi and if you have spent 3 L already then negotiate legal fees with Sh. Chandu and he can come down to Chennai and give you Justice under S. 498a dowry case and our alleged statistics of low conviction gets a show over.


3. Remedy: Make friendship with HIS father and ask for forgiveness for your sake of own re-marriage and approve of quick Mutual Consent Divorce forgoing 3 L is the only social resonable way ahead  to save your rest of the money now which may get spent on legal fees with umpteen sightseeing visits to Courts and Courts and thus loose your rest of the YOUTH.

 

Reasoning:

A. https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/What-type-girl-give-divorce-early--61465.asp

1. Working girl who is self dependent.

Typology:- Once an indoctrinated young woman grows up, gets married, she then joins the "sophisticated" adult world of 'high movers and shakers'. Female television shows such as "Udaan" promoted this obsession with the "right" clothes and "glamorous" make-up and then she gets trapped into it forever.

 

Notes:- She is the one who will easily give divorce provided some secure "pocket money" is given to her penthouse advisory circle that she keeps in her tails.

 


B.
Psychosis of a 498a abala  –

1. What I did was right and I am over my own family and society’s acceptable norms.
2. I was used in the relationship.
3. I did never enjoy but he enjoyed things that went on behind 4 walls of the bedroom.
4. He used me only for my money.
5. He has changed. I wanted to change him.
6. Now I want to take revenge.
7. I am the VICTIM

There arrives in allegations scene an opportunist faulty advisor believing 1 = 6 and rest is history (read as social statistics)
J
1 = 6 ~ 1 is get well soon divorce case = 6 are average counter blast tit-for-tat cases.
[who is made to file what in 1 = 6 ratio is no secret in Family Law which you all know by heart now]

 


Observation:
The mutal usage was reciprocal and not unilateral as made to allege in your brief.


All the best.

1 Like

Jennifer smile (Advisor finance)     07 July 2012

Hey hi,


As u say i dont deny the fact ya i was too young to get married may be was blushed with his care & love shown at that stage. As i lost my dad in early age a men love was different to me as thou no1else cared about me like that but ya when we come to know people are are mocking with our emotions s i was broken. Its not that i did not understand what he was when he proposed to me. I did analyse in many ways practically not for money or beauty. But when it turns up that what should not happening that is going on it totally dump's my life. The one reason i called his parents because i wanted a mutual divorce with no dragging i dont wish that. As i have my own life to proceed & he also. I was just requesting them to work on the divorce i didnt insist much on the money . This is all i wanted to mention.

 

But i dont hear you saying a proper solution. Kindly advice me on the solutions .

 

Thanking you....

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     07 July 2012

Lady,

1.
Yours is a classic prognosis case of “reactive depression” to the tune of 301.6, 310.89 / 311 and V62.81 as per DSM IV coding.
Reactive depression ~ Reactive depression may also be called as an adjustment disorder with depressed mood. As the name implies, a reactive depression, is one that occurs in response to some specific and identifiable psychosocial stressor. Loss of your father at growing up age, dependent sibling, grieving mother, constant urge to lean on to some shoulders, early marriage, social stigma fear thus hidden marriage etc. are some of the pure relationship issues unmanaged rightly in time are some pointers whose hints spells from your briefs.
Suggestion in such depression cases would be to opt for cognitive-behavioral therapy and/or interpersonal therapy and believe me people have come out of it remarkably.
However, because of the relationship between the symptoms and a specific stressor, there is more emphasis put on "resolving the problem" that created the stress. Thus what now gets mentioned below is the ‘resolving approach” rather than putting you in a box like situation where you infinitely try to wriggle out of it and menawhile cause much damage ot your own body and soul, which is why I commented upon Sh. Chandu reply the way it got written in this thread and believe me I have no personal enimity with him and he is respected in his own ways.
2. The solution which you are seeking I already mentioned as hint earlier.
3. However, detailed proper solution in cases of reactive depression patients is to get a mediator (any neutral person known to both sides and or any mature person with some authority oozing out of his personality) should be in picture and send him to your husband’s place and this mediator will now make real sense to his father, something similar on lines to; “that it is in their family’s benefit to get over with Mutual Consent Divorce where you are not asking anything other than divorce, reason being both your son and she is legally married and they have done
REGISTERED MARRIAGE and there exists a CERTIFICATE issued by a competent authority and without their dissolving marriage even your son cannot get re-married in future, forget my niece, anyhow she will somehow pull her life without your son but what about your son and Law of the land............

4. The police complaint they have has not much value as laws are in favor of you, least you will be called to Polcie Station and you may go once they send you in writing a notice but go with a Advocate or with a matured person whom you trust.
5. Meanwhile seek company of mature older person who shares your beliefs in harmonious way of life / who can generate quality to your life and can give you daughterly or as a lover love to come over from your recent losses otherwise you are in a very dangerous zone psychologically if we read down your brief.

Parting Observation on this query before us:
- I must add you have matured out of ‘your experience” fast reading down your reply post to me.
- That is why I say here in the forum quite often 'donot kill the sin but kill the sinner" means a professional Lawyer should understand the victim 'family' psychosis too and what history the 'so called victim' is presenting to you before jumping and openning the flood gate of Criminal laws. It gets very tempting but ultimate long term social loss is that of the "alleged victim" and not that of the keepers of Law.
- Rehabilitative remedies are always fruitful and much desired way out.
- Usage of Criminal Law for persons like you with your current psychology phase will make you very revengeful in life and probably suicidal.
- It does not matter to me even if you use Criminal Laws of the land to set Rule of Law in motion but reading down your two briefs I feel you are not the right state of mind to sustain its jolt hence follow the softer remedy hint mentioned in italics under para 3. it does work eventually if you have patience and has a good mature person as negotiator as your social blessings.


Also see what others value add to your query before the forum.

PARDEEP KUMAR (Practicing Advocate)     07 July 2012

Dear Lady,

Replies of both the respected experts are in order, if you have patience and can contest for years, spend money then go with Mr. Chandu's advice for that take help of a good lawyer, else, to end your woes you can go with advice of tajobsindia.

 

Further a friendly advice to Mr. Tajobsindia, Sir, it's a forum, meant to give free advice to people in distress, as such should not be used for commenting upon each other, as is there in para 2 above.  See everybody has his own way of working, thinking, we are not here to judge each others comments/advice, especially before people seeking help.  Sincere regards

 

Jennifer smile (Advisor finance)     07 July 2012

I humbly thank you for the advices , i shall surely seek my family lawyers advice.... Thanking you....

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     07 July 2012

Ms. Jennifer,

Do not be apologitic towards any thing happened in your matrimonial life.  I do not see any wrong on your part.  Your verbal abuses on telephone, if any (please do not admit them either before the police or court), are quite natural from a wife who has been kept in parental home instead of in matrimonial home and husband and inlaws received money from her in the past continuously and are demanding more.  The courts will not see your verbal abuse, if proved,  as offence, which can be brought in any provision of Indian Penal Code. On the other hand their receiving the money and demanding for more is matrimonial offence as per the law of the land.

My services are not needed in Chennai FOR THE REASON THERE ARE MORE BRILLIANT LAWYERS SENSITIVE TOWARDS WOMEN'S ISSUES THAN I IN CHENNAI.

Wishing success in your pursuit.


(Guest)
3. Housewife Typology:- She is the one who wants a man who is all about "how I look anyway"? All that means to her is that "he is into me based" on her 'behenji kinda ego'. Her relationship is built on quicksand. It will end if the very foundations are cracked. The only way to do is to set up a 'chota ghar (bring in OTHER WOMAN)' and be cozy with THAT OTHER ONE now in both of YOUR lives. She can never take HER easily for rest of her life. https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/What-type-girl-give-divorce-early--61465.asp tajobsindia has wrote these great lines for housewives..now check this person's personality and mentality... what positive advice he would give to a distressed lady..rather he is advicing to bear all these silently and beg them for divorce ...blah blah...is this not extortion?sucking money and blaming..?? this man always discourages woman coming here for asking legal help.Instead giving advice he is pressurizing the lady psychologically so that she give up all hope and become a psychic

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     08 July 2012

Originally posted by : good girl.......
 

XX
check this person's personality and mentality
XX

 

 

 


Originally posted by :
good girl....... " IF YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING WORTHY THEN WRITE"

=


Rejoinder


(Guest)

THIS IS NOT THE REPLY.IF YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING WORTHY THEN WRITE, BUT DON'T TRY TO DILUTE THE TOPIC.WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUT WHAT I TOLD IN LAST POST? WHY DO YOU THINK EVERY WOMAN COMING HERE IS WRONG?? ANY PERSONAL EXPERINCE???..IF ANY DON'T  TRY TO DISCLOSE HERE AS IT IS A PUBLIC FORUM.

Jennifer smile (Advisor finance)     11 July 2012

Seems that the pic says clearly women is been ignored to what ever she says to the man thats how my life also went on...

Good pic to have a good learning!!!


(Guest)

Oh no..when someone thinks that he is not worthy ..prtends to ingore someone...lol...


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