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Susanna Ramoorthy (HR Generalist)     26 September 2012

Are counselling & mediation have the same meaning?

Dear Members

Me and hus had a counselling a week back, it was the first session, the counselllor (lady) heard both of our stories, in a  way we both were arguing in front of the counsellor, but she didnt show any interest in solving the matter nor gave us any advises too..it was for around 40 mintus, the counsellor dint take any steps to make us patch up!

Members those who have a knowledge on this pls comment on it, as i dint find any use in this counselling session!



Learning

 14 Replies

Ranee....... (NA)     26 September 2012

She is observing you both..then with find out the cause of differences!..wait till next session.


(Guest)

Yes agreed with ranee ......Her conseller obsered her for many days before declaring her MAD-ass .

 

:-) :-) :-) :-)

rahul (director)     26 September 2012

Counselling and  mediation is almost ame thing.. first they will try to patch up,, but if there is not hope, then  counsellor will try to make a divorce settlement with a balance amount.. that is again not bound on either of party. she can compalle anyone

 

Harassed Hunsband (prop)     26 September 2012

@ Ranee.......

To what I understand counsellor tries to patch up or is for pure counselling.  though, they dont care how to counsel and what becomes of the husband and wife.......

 

Counsellor wud know the cause of difference........ but whats the point in knowing when counsellor report is not taken into consideration by the judge during the course of divorce......

Susanna Ramoorthy (HR Generalist)     26 September 2012

@ harassed husband: Whoa??? counsellor report not taken into consideration by the judge!!!! 

 

@Ranee....i hope she was observing...anyways this session proved to be a total failure!!

 

Thankx for the replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     26 September 2012

I differ to all the above half backed opinions expressed by various writers.

 

Marital counseling is performed by a mental health professional and involves therapeutic analysis and insights. Family Court Acts promulgate first process to follow to diffuse couple before the Court is via Marital Counseling to see if couple before Court can be patched up. This process is very useful to many couples at their down times in their marriage. Family Court has paid volunteers out of its own budgets acting as Marital Counselors mostly such young professionals from social science and related fields are called and even well established mature professionals are also called to sit within Family Court complex and provide marital counseling to sent parties in under 90 days.

 

Marital Mediation (Marriage Mediation) is a practical method that relies on various dispute resolution techniques. Marital Mediation (Marriage Mediation) can also be used to heal a marriage in the case of property rights, infidelity and problems with children such as custody and or illegitimcy cause based. It can also be used to address typical conflicts that arises from time to time in all marriages. On its own motion or based on specific plea of both parties or even seeing either couple flinting inclination before a Family Court the couple could be sent to Marital mediation. This is also a process which Family Court adopts under its wide power of making its own Rules. Here the mediators are paid by the State as part of performing their social obligation in larger public interest and such offices can be situated outside Family Court complex or in adjoining District Court complex.

 

There are occasions when Marital Mediation is even performed by an Advocate, in such instances the couple can be assisted by legal-based knowledge and options they have and either pull back from their extreme stand taken to end their marriage or may contest in right direction amicably to part with is what advocate end up performing as neutral marital mediators Role.

 

In my opinion the person you are naming as Marital Counselor before whom you were sent is in-competent professional. There is nothing called on first date I will observe you and next date I will tell one spouse to shut up and observe other and on next date the other one will shut up and I will still keep on observing!. From day one after joint and/or respective listening of couples issues s/he chalks a clear strategy for this day as well as next dates under opinion then and there epxressed to couples. Here S/he wants to simply take advantage of 90 days maximum period as per Law by calling no. of times the couple in question just to hear how better they say their grievances this date and the next date and then on another next date is what seems to be happening otherwise you would not have said what you expressed in your last three words.

 

Now if you like that your marriage should work then put a Taken on Board application on nearest working day of Family Court and there make a reasoned plea before Family Court PJ / APJ that your main purpose to agree to offer yourself to Marital Counseling was to see words of wisdom from counselors mouth from day 1 whereas the counselor seems to be enjoying Om Mani Padme Hum (silence) more than anything else and instead of wasting your time and youth for next 90 days, either close it or send me/us to a more competent Counselor who is capable to give some pointers as wisdom to both of us on each dates – simple and straightforward way all these things work. Reason being either of you has paid Rs. 23/- court fee to run a divorce case and the moment even .75 paise Court Fees is affixed to any Application in Court records you become consumer of the Court. As a consumer you can always agitate on deficiency of such services at first available opportunity that is how people performs and shall perform from day 1 PERIOD.

Ranee....... (NA)     26 September 2012

In a DV case of my friend counselling took 4 months with  NO RESULT.


(Guest)

Mediation and counselling is a form of Alternate dispute Redressal (ADR). All it try to do is that it observes whether thier is any hope in subsisting the marriage or should it be ended. It is a private session and helps the parties to decide their future in a calm and compose manner. It is a toothless body, as in it cannot take a judicial decision. At the end of the mediation the mediator will pass an award which will be required to be decreed by the court of justice. All it do is make an effort to bring both the parties to marriage, under a common roof and understand their differences. Dont worry about how the mediator is acting like in the session, just go on with the flow. the mediator will do its observation and later on advice the parties settle the dispute either by helping the parties to marriage live togather again or get a divorce by mutual consent. If you dont find either of the options satisfactory then you can move the court and seek justice their. And if still you find that the mediator is not helping then seek advice by a lawyer to get another mediator. 

i would suggest to settle the matter in mediation itself, provided that you dont find any future in subsisting the marriage. And in case you feel that your partner has done anything wrong with you then you can seek justice in the court.

asmita0009 (working)     26 September 2012

on request of my Husband, In my case councillor had wested almost 6  month times  for councilling  .  But  my Husband is very  smart. But my husband was not ready   to give me balacee amount . He wanted to give me very nominal amount to me for divorce.  so since last 4 years i am waiting for divoce  just for  1  month marraige. He know that court Procedure is very slow,  so . He had  always thought that  after some age women loose her beauty and men dont have any kind of limitations..  so,  our judiciary  is fail to give justice to people in time limit.especially to women.

Amit (NA)     27 September 2012

My case is similar to @asmita0009. My wife wasted almost an year in counselling when she had no intention of giving divorce.

Judiciary fails not just for women in fact I found that my wife's pleadings were heard but not mine.

Susanna Ramoorthy (HR Generalist)     27 September 2012

Thankx Tajobs and all others for thir replies!!!

@asmita0009, @ amit though the counselling failed...am thinking not to attend the nxt session which is to the psychiatrist (due to my hus character ) .as my hus family is interested in dowry only, morover my hus shows the duty of only a son, he never cares for me or my child....so whats the use of continuing in this way....

I dnt know how to retrieve back the  pocket money of Rs 15,00000/-which my dad offered to him by hand, atleast i hope i could get tht back!! hez not willing even to contribute for the 21 month old female kid!!

am totally confused, my lawyer has advised me to file DV & 498 a against him and his family, till now i have filed only an RCR...actually my hus deserves a DV and 498a as they have tortured me alot and forced me out of the matrimonial home!!

 

Any members pls advise me on this matter! as i dnt wish to run after the court years and years. i just need to teach him and his parents a good lesson and they should never utter the word DOWRY again in their lifetime!!!

Alapati Prasad (Engineer-Business-Lawyer)     27 September 2012

Kindly maintain professionalism while posting and replying to topics.  This forum is meant for replies from experts. This is not a place to putforth your personal views or fight on this forum.

       Due to heavy work load on the courts, the cases are being delayed.  Always trickish people will be there.  They try in their own way.

      If u have any problem and the problem is being delayed, u better approach Professional Arbitration and Mediation centres such as International Council for Alaternative Dispute Resolution, 10th floor, Gagan Vihar, Nampally, Hyderabad.  In order to avoid delays, there are trained professionals in solving family disputes, who can give guidance in solving the disputes with minimal time delays.

Alapati Prasad

asmita0009 (working)     27 October 2012

Sir, you  r right our intention  is not to demoralise other people.But  it's  fact Heavy  burden , curruption etcarejust reasons but fact is that our politicians are notinterested to improve judiciary system, socommon people especialy women have to suffer a lot. even  to get own jwellaries fromHusand they have to spent  5-10  years.if  anybody have doubts they should  go in courts of their near by areas. try to get proper figer of pending cases sincelong time. Ihad done RTI applications and  obsevred that there is no any proper data maintain by central or state govts. so  think  how we can expect from proper justice from courts. is their any system  in  india who can hear problems of common people whose cases goingonin court? I am waiting for atleat  true jusgement since 5 years.

rajiv_lodha (zz)     29 October 2012

In most of the matrimonial cases...what courts r doing?? They are making the warring couple run about in the court procedures day in & day out TILL ONE FINE DAY THEY THEMSELVES GET EXHAUSTED & AGREE FOR LIVING 2GATHER OR OBTAINING MCD

Courts serve the purpose to fil the gap of 5-6 yrs til the couple tastes the bitter pill


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