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JPMorgan789 (Owner)     08 August 2012

I need divorce from my wife

Dear Sir / Madam, 

             I am a Hindu, married to a Hindu lady in the last year and half. I will write it from the beginning so to make it easy to understand my situation. (I lost my job after 15 days of my marriage).

1. Her Mother expressed her desire to give us divorce on the third day of our marriage.                                                  2. She asked my mother to give us after 2 months of our marriage.                                                                                  3. She told to everyone in her relatives that she is going to give us divorce after 8 months of our marrriage      I am quarrelling with my wife because I dont want her mother to come to my house. But  after one year one day she got hurted and left from my house.                                                                                                                                                 4. Then her relatives told us that my Mother In Law want to give us divorce but they stopped her from doing it by seperating us for a period of time as she is unable to do her job because of the quarrels and also I can find a job by forgetting all the things.   

      5.. 10 days after our seperation her parents again called us asking for a divorce.                                                       6. I asked my wife about it and she replied me that it was she who asked for divorce.                                                 7. I tried to convince her in all the possible means but she insulted me and my family through her mails.            8. She replied me that she will come if I go and convince her parents after getting a job.                                    (After hearing the word divorce from them how will I go and ask them I should have some self respect. but she wants me to kneel infront of their family by leaving my entire family.)                                                                          9. I mailed my wife two months ago to ask her mother to speak to my father as she did all this.                             10. But my wife is still blaming me that I was the cause for all this and I must ask for her infront of her mother.

Ofcourse this appears simple cause to take a divorce but it is linked with humiliation from her mother to me and my entire family. She even told to everyone in our hometown about this divorce so my parents left that place where they were residing since 4 years. My friends are asking me about this. My house owner where we live currently also knew that I was left alone. This cost me my reputation. Even my parents asked through their relatives but they told that my MIL is not coming down at any cost. (that means my parents have to go and beg her for her daughter). 

  If my wife loves me why is she living away from me. She could have already came.  And after these many days of seperation and reading her mails again and again I got a kind of hatred upon my own life. I dont want to live with her anymore.

What if she files a case against us on the acts of domestic violence, asking lump some amount of dowry (I never did beaten her in this entire time even I hitted my forehead to the wall, we took dowry but that was as a land registered on her name but not a single penny we took from them as a dowry).

Can she file any case against us as she was seperated from me for 4 months on her own willingness. This was written in one of her mails.

Can I apply for a divorce on the grounds of,  as she was away from me from 4 months, humiliation from her mother,  mails that were against me and my family members. She asked for divorce (also from her mail).

Thank you very much for your support in helping me solve this problem.

I lost my sleep, hunger, life, health in this 4 months of time. So please help me to avoid her and start a new life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Learning

 19 Replies

Adv Aneesh Trivedi 9424449500 (Advocate)     08 August 2012

brother i think you are going to be in big trouble with your family members , i read all just listen carefully and follow these steps first plan for your and your family members safety from dowry case and going into jail second try to save your marriage which is difficult now but not impossible as girls have no mind and they work on other's opinion it is sure that they are consulting with lawyers. now follow this step as early as possible ohterwise god will also not save you as indian law gave a gun to ladies to shot husbands i am also the victim of same

[1] first register the complain to SP officein your place and in her place  that she is not with you and left you by her own wish without any reason.

[2] apply in paramarsh kendra .

[3] File a case for RCR sec -09 if you lost it then also you will be safe nothin harm but on losing it also then you are very safe in getting bail when you will get arrested in 498 dowry case in future.it has many advantage.

[4] DONT tell any harsh word and abusive language to your wife her relatives on phone or in public be polite even if she or they hurt you because you are very garib here now. till you not come out of dowry case as it is sure you are going to face dowry case arrest and custody or jail.

[5] be prepare for anticipatry bail

[6] whatever property you have just put on others name because your wife will claim over it.

[7] Be berojgar but keep earning without proof she will claim maitenance and alimony .

[8] dont get panic enjoy life no lady is last search good one . if she left dont allow her to enter without police or court intimation other wise she will deliver your baby then you will be hadicap for your full life .

[9] keep recording of her abusive language mails but you dont get angry keep all this secreatly even if she is not talking to you you keep talking to her daily dont sms badly just be a lover mad lover to your wife and give loveing sms as you are mad about her and she is your heroing .

[10] even if you want to get rid of her but dont tell this in public or in court or in police always say i love her she is good very nice i want to live with her she is my darling even though she kick s you .

[11] Even she sleep with other persons in front you in your house then also dont say she is of bad character you always say she is good well cultutre but missguide by her mother 

[12] keep in mind you must have to collect the every proof of her bad language bad work and her activity to show that you are clean collect paper proof like your complaint to sp office police station paramarsh kendra attend the dates of hearing .

[13] heir good lawer dont give bribe to police and dont go for compensation to your wife a single rupee

the most important if not much case or situation is worst then try to convince your wife bring her back .

be honest and devoted husband try to remove misunderstanding and live happily but in that case also try to save your self and your family

now this is time where you have to prepare for new balltle be a school boy now and time is your master and police court advocate are your other subject teacher and your wife is questio paper you have to score full marks and solve it fully no cut off marks here and remember evry thin is jayaj in jung in love in exam but her " karm se , dharm se , ya adharm se  , sam dam dand bhed se ya mark ke you have win this mahabharat "

agar tere marne se mai bachta hu to tu mar ja follow this

in this mahabharat you are arjun , you are krishna and you are dhanush and you are baan only  yaha sirf tum akele ho aru tumko ladna hai sabse pahle khud se ,fir police se court se indian ke gande knaoon se mental stress se physical problem se arthik pareshanio se aur jitna hai wife ko pyar se  ya war se"

best luck and go for home work dont think and go for fist step go to parmarsh kendrra apply to sp office and then file RCR sec-09 more important collect the proof of her earning other wise she fight the case against you with your money and she will enjoy life with other hunny and you become fool for whole life.

Adv Aneesh Trivedi 9424449500 (Advocate)     08 August 2012

dont apply for divorce now and never because she is going to apply aftere filing DV and dowry case dont give divorce till you win and dont give a sinlge rupee for compramise to such lady act as i said dont worry for reputation as when she file case you will be in jail and reputation will damaged but when you win the your reputation will become twice as before and then your time come now be silent for two three year call her back only call loudly call but dont enter her  in your house till court case you won other wise after three years you will be begger in jail and complety frustrated act as i suggest this will give some oxy gen to your life just in complain write that they are going to file false case complain

leave alone away from your family members just break all relation to your family [ jsut for showing]member otherwise they will also be in trouble if she put their name in FIR

it is sure that your are going to FACE FIR if she come with for once then she hurt herself and go for medical and claim that you hit her and her DV case will be strong no one can save you then at that case you must be in jail for at least four months. make good relation with doodhwala,sabji wala kamwali bail padosi they help you as witness

RK (adada)     08 August 2012

Call me at 83 73 9060 18 to gain more clarity

Never Give Up (Fighter)     08 August 2012

First thing first...

 

Get a job / livelihood...

 

Once you get job, ask her to come back over phone / letters and keep a proof of that and wait for a year or two every thing should get settled.

 

JPMorgan789 (Owner)     08 August 2012

Thank you Aneesh Trivedi for your valuable suggestion. I will do it and will reply you as soon as possible.

   But dear friends have some concerns regarding this. 

How can my wife and her family take advantage of the Indian Law against her husband. I mean in how many ways can she target me through court and what precautions can I take. 

We communicated only through mails  for 2 months and in no conversation there is a proof of DV and Dowry (as we did not ask her for any). They approached us for divorce first but we blindly rejected the proposal as I loved her so much.  In due course of time, she wants to come back only if I go and beg her parents for her though they humiliated us badly. If she loves me then she would have already came instead of living with her parents and I dont believe if she comes to me because there is no guarantee that she wont hurt me again by leaving me. She will come to me because she won't get a new husband, a fool like me, and I dont want to welcome her again as I was vexed with she and her parents. 

   May we or may not we approach them for one last time before going to court, but at that moment we should be protected from DV, Dowry cases so what steps can we take as precautions.

 

Thank you Never Give Up for your suggestion.  Your suggestion is good. I got a job but if I go for her then she would softly demand me to kneel before her parents which do not want. If she loves me she would have already come, but she wants to make me a slave for her parents and they want to make me a joker. If she comes to me she should leave her family as they ruined my life as she will listen to whatever they say, and I dont believe that would happen and we live happily ever after. Even I believe that she and her family would take advantage of the law at any point of time.

I will tell you what happened.  we were seperated as she got hurted for what I said during our quarrel. So I apologized her for what I said, but to come back she refused because I don't have a job. So I am trying to get a job then she mailed me that she wont come because her parents do not trust me. So I asked her about this "The reason for our seperation is not matching with the reason for coming back. Mean while she sent me a SMS from her mobile number as I called her to talk to her, then I asked her about this SMS then she replied me that her SIM was lost and she dont know who sent me that SMS. "

What she think of me, I dont want to talk to her from that very moment but I controlled and stopped mailing her then she started posting me mails everyday then i replied her that I cannot accept her until her mother called my father, but she still wants me to come and ask for her. 

So what should I do not want to live with her anymore.

V R SHROFF (Sr. ADVOCATE Bombay High Court Mob: 9892432152)     09 August 2012

YOUR STATEMENTS SHOWS she WANT DIVORCE: NOW YOU SAYS u WANT IT. 

 

Keep silence, wait and watch for 6 months. 

Do not take any step in haste, as Marriage and Divorce are very serious matters, and can ruin the entire LIFE. 

It is better to delay for few months, keep peace of mind, Allow both parties to think and decide wisely. 

Then take step that is beneficial and bring happiness . Accident happens and harm us. need time to cure., with minimum damage. 

Adv Aneesh Trivedi 9424449500 (Advocate)     09 August 2012

Morgan bhai,

if you have comitted any mistake,hurt her or told bad to her mother father then there is no need to raise ego you accept your fault and kneel down as it saves your family too some time it is good to say sorry if you are not have any fault and you are correct i did that and my wife came but if still then she is not coming on the right way then noneed to kneel down and better you go as i suggested.

it is good to sacrifice ego for keeping relation ship safe and to save mary  but dont sacrifice self respect"

if she really loves you then without any reason she dont go for dowry case or divorce if she dont the you break yourself in pieces then she still say what you did nothing ? if kneel down also then it is not important for her she is just satisfieng her ego ,

honrable shroff sir suggested you very well but as per my view dont sit calm collect proof if you keep calm then thier lawer ask you what you did for your wife do bring her back? then you have no anwer so go for RCR sec-09 there is no harm in it  and to save ourself it is your wright.

we dont know what is going in their mind you only judge either they may want to save marriage or may want to divorce if situation is rally worst the sit calm but try to save yourself and family and if you think it will imporove then also you act as per elder advice of your house if streching and pulling is going on between you and your wife then it is dangerours.

you act as per situation you are judigeing time is healing machine but for now a days time will also take you away from your wife so act positively by judgeing good or bad and analysing all the solution are infront of you.

if there is third class quarral happen between you and your wife the where is the place of love now?

all it get ruin when you both plan for divorce any time the snake raise his head so if you get united then also you boht have to live very carefully and develop raltionship of love and hospitality again .

Never Give Up (Fighter)     09 August 2012

Nobody said to knee down to her parents...

 

Let me tell you frankly..now a days love and other feelings are taken on a second preference..however money , social status, job status, business status gets priority..you know typical girls talk. She might be doing all this to force you to do brain storming and get in to good social , professional, economical life. Think about it !

 

Once you stand on to your own feet and stay like that for 6-12 months, parallely start putting effort for calling her back.. Then also she doesnt come back then come back to forum seeking advise.

 

I strongly feel there is no case , just focus on job / business ....and things will fall in place soon.

Ruchika Anand (HR)     10 August 2012

Now i understand why people like you face divorce cases.....coz you have this mentality and you are passing this on to other people too....OMG

JPMorgan789 (Owner)     14 August 2012

Hi Ruchika Anand, 

           I am not a person to file divorce and I am not intrested in wasting others life for my pleasures. Here what exactly happened is, her mother is threatening us that she is going to give divorce. My wife left me and she is staying at her brother's house for 5 months. I asked her to come back but she is not listening to me anyway. I should go and beg her mother for her, begging for her and getting her will spoil my life in future as marriage should rely upon love & honor. Not upon begging & threatening.  

          Even 4 days back I mailed her to come to my home after your parents approached my family because in future nothing should happen like this again. Her reply is "You have job, you are with with your parents, I dont want to live with you. My parents wont ask you or your parents about this "Please take my daughter to your home, do not spoil her life" even I wont allow them to ask you. "

     Why she is telling such things. Her parents will call us to ask for divorce but they wont ask us about our being together. She is still saying that she dont want to live with me. Why she became like that. Can she chage in future. These questions cannot be answered. so let us be apart and live our lives.

      

JPMorgan789 (Owner)     14 August 2012

Hello Dear Friends, 

           Thank you every one who has given me your valuable suggestions.

                        I am married and whatever happens I have to face. I really posted this because of the DV & Dowry cases, because they are the cases which will make me and family stay behind the bars. Now I realized that Indian Law supports those who really are innocent. (I have proofs in my mail, I believe that is enough). So now I got confidence and I feel I am not alone when I visited this site. There are people to help me. 

               I am requesting you to please tell me how to remove this post as I don't want anyone to see this including me.      "Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)",                                                                                  

Thank you very much,

JPMorgan.      

 

Adv Aneesh Trivedi 9424449500 (Advocate)     15 August 2012

HELLO RUCHIKA MADAM,

I cant understand the meaning what you want to say?

please give it in detail

thanks

JPMorgan789 (Owner)     29 August 2012

Hi Friends, 

    I need help from you. 

   As per your suggestions we arranged a person who is acting as a middle man between us and their parents.

   On Aug 15th her father and our mediator met and her father started to blame me and my family, then this middle man asked him "what about the mistakes you have done?", immediately he said "give us divorce" and walked away.

    On 26th she mailed me about my whereabouts. Then I asked her why did your father asked for a divorce and she told me "I told him to ask for divorce". so I asked her "is this your final decision" then she did not replied me. I again mailed her "i am ready to give you divorce" then she replied "did I told you my final decision". 

    Help me, I don't know whether she is playing with me or it was her intention. If she asks me for divorce then I should not have told you this. After 5 months of seperation her father is asking for divorce and she is not telling me what is her intention / her final decision.

       I am not in a position to judge what is right or wrong or to think  what to do. 

       We consulted a lawyer and he asked to take an agreement from her that she asked me for divorce. (I think that may not be possible as she is in her parents house and they do not allow me to meet her else she meets me she wont agree.)

       I have her replies in my mail. (They (her parents) asked for divorce many times and the last 2 times she was the reason behind that). Can I take this as a ground and apply for a divorce. (Our lawyer told me to wait for some time). Ofcourse, after that some time also I should do some thing, so please tell me what should I do.

Thank you very much.

dr g balakrishnan (advocate/counsel supreme court)     30 August 2012

sir,

notning to worry.

the land papers are to be sent back by registered post acknowldement retaining an authenticated notorized copy through your advocate. then before posting the document see police verifies the document that is you meet SP or DCP or PC and do not go the any other officer lesser than him, and tell the officer of Mother in Law wants divorce of her daughter and keep the officer fully appraised and he certifies that you had sent the document of land in the name of his wife.this is just a precautionary measure you are taking against any wrong eventuality. you also make it clear to police officer i mentioned that you do not need divorce, as no divorce court grants divorce without conciliation failure report. further minimum two years need to elapse from the date of marriage. so application for divorce is untenable. at this stage.

you in your mediation notice make it clear she can join you after you getting job and ifyou do not get a job then there can be a consent divorce between you and her. 

just 6 moths are over of your marriage.

you issue a mediation notice to your wife.

Mother in law is no body to dictate terms nor even your father in law, as your wife is maturemeants above 18 or 21 years of age and she need to take her own decisions. in fact in laws are in trouble if they promote divorce for imaginary reasons. it appears you MIL is some deranged person but do not say any such thing now. Before going to contracting marriage background checking of your would be spouce is always needed. So i always advice my clients to check the background as the marriages contracted though the websites like matrimony is full of problems, if one does not check the bonafides of spouce to be. care needed.

 

Mediation is not for divorce as at this stage no consent divorce is also possible.

so be like a person who takes the cloth out of thorny fence and that care is a must. Never interact with the spouce without good mediator in your area, lawyers are not suitable except one who is good in conciliations. i think your spouce is caught in the web of a litigancy promoting advocate so both you and the spouce suffer.

i appreciate that your MIL if of proper mind may be needing the land back and if the land is given back all the problems of your will just disaapear likewater vapour.regards

 adv. dr. g. balakrishnan, advocate Bombay High court - original side; if you need to get clarifications then u can contat me on my mail id:rapidanalysts@gmail.com


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