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Anusha (Software Engineer)     08 December 2014

498a on my husband and his family

Sir ,

My Name is Anusha working as software engineer .  Our 's is love and arranged marriage , Initially during marriage both my and his parents have conversation about dowry . Near to marriage , my parents said they cannot pay dowry as they discussed to my husband parents, but they did not done any mistake . we got married happily.

My husband don't like a word "Appu (Telugu) or  loan" , but unfortunately i have given money to my parents without knowing him 7lakhs by keeping loans after marriage using my salary account.

My husband came to know that , from that he was asking me about the dowry or they he was asking my parents to clear the loans . He sent messages. 

But my parents are not in a position to pay money or clear the loans . I cant tolerate this so i left him and put 498a case on him and his family . Since i have the proof of messages that he given to me in mobile. He is using the sim from last 5years , and proof of the sim is also with his name . 

I have filled 498A in woman ps , andhra pradesh. 

When they called him for counselling , i am not interested to stay with him so i asked 30L for settlement and get separate, he rejected to pay .  

So FIR is filled on him and his family.

1) How much time it take to prove in court that he is accussed.

2) How to prove that his family also involved in this. If i cannot prove this what are the situations i should face from there lawyer  

3) How much time it take to get divorce from him using this messages as proof. he used unparlamentary words also in messages.






 105 Replies

Anusha (Software Engineer)     08 December 2014

Sir ,

Its my responsibility to take care of my parents even after marriage . So i have given my money 7 lakhs by loan. Is that a mistake. My husband dont like loan in his life so he asking me daily. He used unparlamentary words in messages from 1 year. So i am vexed with him.

I want to separate from him so i asked 30L for settlement. I thought if  he wont give money.he will accept divorce.That is the reason i asked money , but even now he was not willing to separate from me.

Now i applied divorce.

Please let me know using this messages as proof how soon my husband get punished and i get divorce. 


harassed by 498a (Engineer)     08 December 2014

You cant tolerate is fine, do you know what 498a is? please read below

 Any willful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health whether mental or physical of the woman; or

Harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her meet such demand.

If your husband decides to fight back your life will be screwed up and you will spend rest of your life repenting for what you have done. I understand your pain and also i can see what your husband might be going through, but your case should be settled by some respectable people and not by misusing law.

Anusha (Software Engineer)     08 December 2014


Sir, In messages he was also asked dowry .

he allways saying that by taking that loan to parents, our both salary was not sufficient to survive and we applied multiple loans again and again and we totally down financially.

he used unparlamentary words in messages from 1 year . He came to conclusion that by that loan only our relation is disturbing and started asking dowry in messages.  According to me asking dowry is a crime what ever the situation it is . I captured all the messages. I want to teach him a lesson. My fri adviced to keep 498A on entire family . So i applied on his family also.

My husband dont have right on my salary. My salary my wish he should take care of me. I have lot of mesages that he sent to me using bad lauguage.

please advice how much time it take to get separate from him . I have applied 498A and divorce.

please advice how can i prove there parents also invoved in this. Some times my husband used my credit card to buy groceries to there parents / one time he used buy 2gram gold to his brother daughter on namakaranam day. can i show this as proof as they parents accussed. 

Anusha (Software Engineer)     08 December 2014

I have given my gold to my husband's brother and asked for loan urgently. He kept that loan in bank and given money to me . Can i prove that they used my gold and used money because there is no online proof (transaction). 

I don't like to be in a joint family. But my husband allways spend with his family . when i asked to go to dinner. she also invite his family. I cannot pay money to his entire family.

I am vexed  , please advice i need to get separate and have a new life. I don't want my parents to feel pain at this age. I want new life , I dont want any money. I want divorce

SAM (LEGAL)     08 December 2014

Dear Anusha,

Life is too small, why you waste time in court matters and do timepass of your life. Please stop trying to harrass your husband family. Please stop blaming and complaining of your husband. First of all you did love and then arrange marriage and then you start to blame him. Now you want his money and that's why you are extorting from him by means of 498a????


What kind of women are you??? You did marriage only for getting your husband money. Any husband would get angry on you. Please try to reconcile with him, If it is not possible then go for mutual consent divorce.


May good sense prevail upon you and you try to seperate from your husband.

2 Like

Sivaram (SE)     08 December 2014

Why you want money from him as settlement. That is why supreme court called 498 a, as "legal terrorism" .


If you do not want to stay with him, go ahead. As you have proof that he is using bad words, go ahead and take divorce because, relation has been in the state of using "bad words".


Law won't force you to stay with him. Even he or you filed RCR (conjugal rights). 


As you are earning good enough, you won't get even any alimony.


You want to take revenge on him and his family. Is laws made for that? is this not extortion?

definitely this is false 498a case, at least in case of his parents.


Parents afraid "to get software groom/bride to their home". Do not let them go for generalization.


You have protection from law for your rights. But not for all.


coming to general thinking, see who did mistake either wrong or mistake.


1) You didn't stand on your words, at least not ready to ask for excuse.


2) you have given money to others. Of course your parents. You 2 people could have discussed and given to them. family responsibility is on both of you. But you are saying, that is my money. I can do what ever I want.


Can he say  that "I have my own external affairs"? No right?

He is discussing every problem with you and asking your help. Now you are highlighting it (telugulo deppi podavadam antaaru).


3) Parents responsibility is on both of you for basic needs. Don't know who require 7 lakhs as basic needs.


4) Parents also should help you to not spoil relation ship. if they are not doing it, then they are definitely not good parents.

Do not try to enjoy it.


This is for both of you.


konchem prasanthanga aalochinchandi. If you did mistake, asking for excuse is very good. Please do not go for too much damage to your relation and do not loose the opportunity to ask excuse. even this is also for both of you.


Ego vadhu ani prapanchaaniki cheppina vaallamu. maname aa durvyasana paalu kaavodhu. do not let ego spoil you. It applies to all. Even in your software projects also. Let him know his mistakes.


5) It seems you are still hiding many to get biased verdict. you can't do this in courts.

You are saying, he scolded you. But what made your lover to do it. Might be one have hidden something from him or escaped when required. This is nothing but cheating. Means troubled him in any manner intentionally or preplanned. This will charge for 7 years.


He is keeping all aside and asking to stay with him.

Might be he has scolded you, can you prove that you have not scolded him for the sake of defence lawyer.

Can you tell why he is scolding you and your parents when defence lawyer or judge asked you?

Again you have to frame one more fake story. One more fake to cover previous. your journey will end like this.

If you not, only kid of your parent then you cannot justify to court saying I am helping to my parents.


I do not think, you will get 30 lakhs from law suit.


Please think who is spoiling your life by giving or supporting with bad ideas. that may be friends, parents, lawyers or people like us. They will laugh behind you. All will enjoy with your money. At last you won't get any.


Please do not spoil your life, accept your mistakes. This is very good quality of humans.


Ego ego ego, very bad attitude. please avoid it. Please be relax. 

Anusha (Software Engineer)     08 December 2014

No Sir he directly messages like you people did not given any money as dowry  and now you people also loan and making ours life ruin.

He used abused words in mesages. I love him alot but daily he scold my parents made me vex about him.

I am not interested to leave with him. I have 1 year messages saved in my mobile.  His parents scold him and tried to stop him but not involved more than that. Even i am also earning , i have right on my money i have responsibility on my parents.  

I want divorce , but he was not giving divorce even now asking me to come home. he is a IDIOT dont understand me . I have informed him not to scold my parents.

Bad luck that my parents allways bring  high interest amount for business use , when they get loss they depend on me for clear them.  

Problem is he dont have any bad habbits (No smoking/No drinking / no fri / No affairs) . Even though he scold my parents badly about the loan they took. 

As a daughter i cant tolerate that anymore. Now i dont want any money .  I want  divorce. 

Please advice how much it take to take to get call from court . In august FIR is filled. Even police officer has scoled him by seeing messages . 

Even he is good in his past but he should give respect to my parents. I want justice and divorce.

My parents given car (car on my mother name) to us during marriage. Due to business loss , In  middle they unable to pay EMI and bank seized the car. He dont have concern on that he also scold my parents regarding that in messages .  Is that not a mistake.?

we have given 2 lakhs during marriage for marriage allowances . He prepared gold ( Mangalsutra  for me ) and Braslet for him with that money . He has bills also.

Even though we give , accepting money from girl during marriage is a crime. 

I have proof as bank transaction. Can i show that as dowry in court.

Anusha (Software Engineer)     08 December 2014

He says that , It was a prestige issue that bank people came and took the car from home. He bothoured about prestige but not about my parents. Is that right.?

I loved him but now after doing all this , i cant go back i cannot face there parents i cannot face the person who loved me.

Even he is good , i want to get separate because my parents are no more interested me to be with him.  

Please advice how to get separate using his messages . If he speak in court saying that he was so angry about the loan that's why he asked dowry in messages brutally . Does the court accept that ? because i have only that messages as proof on him. No other .

Sivaram (SE)     08 December 2014

if you shown bank transaction as proof, you will get arrested. asking for dowry and giving dowry both are against law.

Anusha (Software Engineer)     08 December 2014

Sir he has to be jailed for sending SMS like that. I want to punish him , even my lawyer said that with this messages he can be jailed for max 7 years , even though he did not physically harassed me . He send messages through phone and mentally tortured me.

we have two marriages where average christian marriage  is  done by my husband ,

we spend lot of money in hindu marriage very grandly. Now if i apply divorce can i get those money back and also car money from him in court.?

because he messages like that he think that it is prestige and scold me in messages.

when bank people seized the car it was with him only but car registration is my mother name , is any problem to my mother.?

Sivaram (SE)     08 December 2014

your parents got loss in business. now you are settling those accounts by extortion. 

You 2 people sit and help your parents. Why you are hiding all these things. you are not a thief. Do not allow hidden things in your relationship.

Sivaram (SE)     08 December 2014

Lawyer will encash your emotions.

Sivaram (SE)     08 December 2014

You can get your money, ornaments or dowry or any gifts back, but might be not your expenses. 

appudu thondarapaddaavu. Ippudu malli endukamma thondarapadathaavu.

Anusha (Software Engineer)     08 December 2014

He dont have right to scold my parents and me . He is just an idiot , he just earn 15k per month and me 30k per month. He dont have right to question me . My money my wish , i said many times that dont be in a joint family. he never lisen to me. Now a days no girl is like to be in a joint family. I need privacy so made my husband come of home but  he is such a idiot took next floor flat . even now he spend time and money to his family. I dont tolerate that. when we go for dinner, he will ask him brother to join and have dinner. 

I want divorce and my husband to be jailed by his mistakes. I have lot of messages as proofs that he asked for dowry or clear the loan .

Please advice how can i get my money spend on marriage and car that is seized by bank and my friend also adviced me to leave the job So that court will order the husband to send money to wife every month.

He should know the value of wife So that he dont do the mistake for next time. Even now he dont sence , he was not ready give divorce and asking me to come back again.

Please advice how soon i get divorce , what is the possibility that he will be jailed for Max years ?

Is there possibility that i get marry to other person before divorce get late in court. My husband is an idiot saying me that he loves me . I want him to take care of my parents also. Not only me.

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