We have heard only one sided version. How, she describes all these things, which you narrated is the vital thing to give proper advice. Any how, in the given circumstances, the best option is that you both go for counselling, as decision of the irretirvable breakdown of marriage cannot be reached within that short span of time.
Having said that, assuming what you said is 100% true, I try to answer your questions in a legal point of view:
1. I want to divorce her on the grounds of huge incompatibility
Till date, as per Hindu Marriage Act, incompatiability is not a ground to get divorce.
2. she had an affair and she compares me with her ex and expects me to
be like him.
If she is doing this thing, you record her accusations against you and such utterances are definitely "cruel acts" and become a ground for divorce.
3. She keeps scaring me and my family that she would attempt to suicide
if I scold or refuse to her for anything
You should not scold her. Do not think that you have got a right to scold her. She is not your servant. You both behave just like frineds and treat each other with respect and love. If you treat her like that, then she will not threaten you with "suicide". Even then she does, again it amounts to "cruel act", as I said above.
4. She is a very pessimist person and i dont want my offsprings to be like her.
A person can alwalys never be "pessimistic" or "optimistic". The atmosphere in matrimonial home is creating such mental attitude that she is looking towards things"pessimistically" and if you change your attitude towards her and show her better future, she will automatically become "optimistic" and you will be enthused to get off-spring out of her.
5. Right now she's refusing to agree for mutual consent, i have time until feb 2011 as its only 5 months.
Instead of succumbing to circumstances try to change them. Counting the days will not solve your problem and further aggravate them. She is refusing for divorce and that does show she is still optimistic to keep the family life intact but on the other side, by counting the days you are exhibiting your "pessimistic" side.
6. She is hell bent not to divorce me. I want to know if i can still go ahead and divorce her.
Yes. If you can prove that she is cruel towards you.
7. When I file a divorce petition after a year of my marriage can I ask her to vacate my home as i dont want to even see her.
No. If it is your house, she has got a right to live there under the provisions of "Protection of women from domestic violence Act".
8. Right now though we live in same home am staying in a separate room and not talking to her.
You should stop this childish behaviour. She left her parents, brothers and sisters and childhood friends and sacrificing every thing came to your home in the belief that it is "her home also". She is life partner. To whom she will talk in the home? With your father and mother? With your sister and brother? Even they might be knowing that you are not talking talking to her. Would they respect her and talk to her? You are keeping her in solitary jail. In fact, you are perpetrating the cruelty against her. You think yourself "manly" by not co-habitating and not talking to her and kept her in completely alien circumstances in adverse condition and push her to show "sucidal tendencies". A wise man said that before killing the dog call it "mad". You are doing the same thing.
9. I also anticipate her to file 498a if i forcefully ask her to leave
Yes. She can do that thing.
10. If i send her a legal notice of divorce petition can she counter me with 498a or false Domestic violence case ?
Yes. In fact, you are guilty of S.498-A cruelty (it is not at all related to dowry) and also Domestic Violence Act. If she is fortunate enough to get good advocate, you will be really in a big problem. But what is there, you want divorce, then you have to send legal notice.
11. Also I anticipate that she'd look for maintenance as once she mentioned that she has spent 7 lakhs for marriage whereas I or my family members never demanded such lavish wedding. Instead we asked for simple wedding at temple. They at their will spent it.
After divorce, you can get thousands of girls who are eager to marry you. But that unfortunate girl is branded "Section 498-A girl", "litigating girl" and "divorcee". She will not get another opportunity to marry. Hence, do not thing that just by paying Rs. 7.00 lakhs compensation, you can wash your sin. She is entitled to permanent alimony in accordance with your life style.
12. What is sthreedhan, Does that include the gold chain along with mangalsootra which I bought her during wedding. My view is when a marriage itself is broken whats the point in sthreedhan ? Should I give this to her after divorce eventhough I have spent money for that ?
You have to pay stree dhan and it includes the mangal sutra and other ornaments presented to her at the time of wedding.
