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rahul (manager)     17 April 2014

Wife left to her parents and not returning

I m 39 years old, married for last 13 years, my wife was undergraduate when we got married, i helped her to complete her B.E (by allowing her to continue her education and also i paid the fees for her last 2 years). After that we both were staying and working in Mumbai and our parents use to visit us once a while from native town. We got a child after 11 years. Till then almost everything was normal, and i use to always love her a lot and try to keep her happy in every possible way. Although she was bit dominant and there were casual fights between us. After having a baby boy in Feb 2012, my wife went to her parents house for delivery. She was always inclined more towards her parents even after our marriage. In dec 2012, she had a fight with me and my mother and left my house along with our baby and stayed with her parents for 15 days. Since i was emotionaly very much attached to her i went and brought her back to my house. She came to me on contidion that my parents will never visit us again. After that she use to regularly call her parents with a reason of taking care of our baby (Inspite of having a day care facility) but she had changed and she was treating me like i was her enemy. she use to argue for every small thing. she use to harrash me by saying that she remembers my mother whenever she sees me. Inbetween her parents also started fighting with me and i was feeling as if i was victimised and she is trying to take revenge on me for some bad word that my mother had said to her in return. My life had become hell so i was diverting my attention towards my baby and i was trying to take care of my baby whenever she was in office. i developed a strong bond with my 2 year old son now. My wife progressed in her carrier and she started earning more than me. she never told me her exact salary (my monthly salary is 75k and hers is almost double of mine). Sometimes she use to pick fight on very tiny things and blow them out of propotion and then 3 times she knocked my neighbours doors and asked them to call police. she started telling my neighbours that i keep beating her which is not true except for one slaping incidence when she had used a very dirty word for me and my mother and spitted on my face then also slapped me in return. After few days she told me that she is planning to go for diwali vaccations in nov 2013 for a week to her parents house in our common native town. Then i said ok and dropped her to bus stand along with my loving kid.

Then after 8 days i asked her over phone as when she is planning to come, she replied me saying that i want u and ur parents to come to my house and i want to have certain discussion, then i will decide weather to come or no. I was schocked and immediatly denied saying if u want any discussions first come back home and i will do whatever u say. For 3 weeks she stopped answering my calls and finaly i had no option so i took my parents to her house and we had a meeting where in she tried to put all possible shocking allegations on me infront of her and my parents. Her parents were also supporting her although many of her allegations were false (like physical abuse and metal stress). My parents were taking in requesting tone and she and her parents were shouting at us. After the meeting my parents convienced her to go with me withing 2 days and she agreed, but next day early morning she phoned me and told that she is not comming.

Its been 5 months now i go and visit her and my son at parents house which is 500 Kms away every weekend and try to convience her to come back home. I wrote her several e mails mentioning how much i love her and my baby and i can not stay without them. But one week she use to behave normal and next week again she use to fight with me infront of her parents house. 15 days back she abused me and my parents with all possible dirty words and even told me not to come to meet her just because i said that u are trying to take advantage of my softness. even her father abused me a lot. When i angrily said if u are not comming then give me my child and try to live alone then u will understand what i m going through. I also told her that i cant stay without u and i feel lonely. She replied by saying go to court if u want to have child. i even pleaded and cried there. Her father is fully supporting her and not letting her go.

I dont know how to get my wife and 2 years old son back. I tried leaving alone but i m unable as i realy love her and remember the good time which we spend together.

I cant even go back to her parents house as she and her parents have humilated me beyond limit and asked me not to step in their house again.

What can i do to get them back?. (she is working from her parents home on laptop and attimes comes to mumbai and stays at some ladies PG)

She is earning almost double than me what i earn so she is not dependent on me.

I dont want divorce and hopefull that she will change once she comes back to me, also i m not interested in any money from her. (as her father is saying that i m doing this for her money which i never took). Also i dont want to give miserable life to my son. I m deeply hurt and undergoing emotional stress as i m staying alone here.



 9 Replies

Dr J C Vashista (Advocate)     17 April 2014

1. Be precise and specific in posting query.

2. Try and resolve the matter amicably.

3. Seek help of her elders, friends, common relatives or counsellor.

4. Contact/engage a local lawyer 

mahavir singh (ADVOCACY)     17 April 2014

Dont be panic and give breathing space for yr relationship time is the best healer. After the lapse of time arrange meeting along with elders from both sodes. For more call on 09910657998 mahavir singh advocate.

SAM (LEGAL)     17 April 2014

Dear Rahul,

From your above mentioned story it seems that your wife is emotionally black mailing you. You just need to do one thing. Please stop to call her every time, Dont even mail her and talk to her from many months. Do file Restitution of Conjungial Rights Proceedings before the Family court and get order from the court if she do not come to the court (get exparte order is she do not come to the court)

In this way you can get you wife and child back.

If she does this nakhra once again then with the help of elders file mutual consent divorce petition in the family court and become separate.




Rahul (Plant Executive)     17 April 2014

it's a universal problem. Do not get penic. Definitely her parents are playing a big role in this and trying to get you separated from your parents and live lavish life on your hard earn money. Suggestion is to do not get penic at all.

kamal (Advocate)     17 April 2014

Hi Rahul,

As said by Dr.J C.Vashista  ji

Try and resolve the matter amicably.

Seek help of her elders, friends, common relatives or counsellor.

No way, its universal problem, few issues take more time to resolve especially matrimonial related, we need to have Patience.  I can not directly  suggest to approach for divorce, its not good in this case.

Best of luck,


Biswanath Roy (Advocate)     17 April 2014

In receipi of a good food sour, sweet , salt and hot is needed to taste, married life also can be compared with the same.  The pathway of married life cannot be bed of roses, even sometimes quarrel and differences are also needed to strengthen the sweetness of life.  Wait with patience and enjoy your off time in Disco thec.  After a lapse of time everything will be O.K. and try to keep your watching eye upon your wife secretly what she is doing for the whole day. Time will heel up everything as I believe.  Don't jump upon legal step now.

SeekAdvice India (NA)     17 April 2014

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T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     17 April 2014

For the present either issue a legal notice asking her come back and continue the broken married life or simply remain silent for a period of atleast another 6 months, see if there is some change in her attitude and behavior, if not then go for legal course of action as the circumstance would compel.

fight (personal)     18 April 2014

Please reach out to sahodar or save Indianfamily at 08882498498. This is NGO for men. They wI'll help you free.

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