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surj (ABC)     23 November 2010

Wife left after little fight n asking in wrting

I was living in Chandigarh with my wife and father n was married in April 2008 to MA B.Ed non working girl. My mother expired in 2004. I have younger sister and elder brother; both are married and living separately. Brother is taking care of our agriculture land only.

My wife left home on 9th Oct, 2010 after a quarrel on petty issue without informing me while I was in office. She called her brother and left. She took away all her belongings with her except "Magalsutra". On the evening of 8th Oct, 2010 she had undergone HSG test for infertility as suggested by doctor, we were visiting since last two years. so Magalsutra was given to me by lab technician. 

That time my father who is a paralyzed patient was at home, she even not feels to ask or tell him.

Earlier she was asking to go to her parent’s home but I suggest to visit them after the test, in a day or two. After waiting for her call till late evening, I myself called her father and came to know that she won’t come back. On asking her father, he alleged that I used to ill-treat her and beat her. He also said that he will send her back to my home through proper way/police, and only if I give them in writing that I will never beat her in future.

I try to talk her and make her understand and she gets ready to come in morning but next day when she again didn’t turn up, I again called her father and he denied with same words and threatening voice.

Even they have turned down the proposal we made through our mediator. Now they are silent n taking no steps either way. I called her to ask that if she need her cloths or any other things but she didn’t respond n next time didn’t pick my call.

She is totally talking her parent’s words? It’s not her intention at all.

The reality is: She is of doubting and jealous nature. She prefers her parents more than my family (Bother sister). Before marriage I had made it clear to her about my deep concern to them as we had no Mother and father is not doing well health wise. But she didn’t accept them by heart and on my monetary helping to brother or sister; she got angry and stopped treating / calling n respecting them. Uses foul language for them. Many times she talks very bad words to all my family members while talking to her mother and sister over phone, which I have recorded. I try my level best to mend her ways but fails, so one or two time I slapped her when things went out of controls due to her anti family attitude.

Now I fear of implication in false cases by her father, as he threatens me that he will sent me jail for beating and taking off her all jewelry.

So kindly suggest me what shall I do? Due to her attitude and daily basis tu tu on this or that pretext I am fed up and wanted to end this finally.

1.       Should I lodge DDR (FIR) about her leaving my home etc?

2.       Should I send her cloths etc, how? Courier or self?

Kindly suggest me ASAP, and also tell me if you need more information...

 

Thanks



 18 Replies

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     23 November 2010

let other legal professionals advise accordingly.

meanwhile i suggest you to keep all your communication with them only thru registered letters,e-mails etc,ie,all talks in writing in all such ways that are easy to prove on court,if  they file any cases in future.

 

why was she made to go thru infertility test?u said she left home next day after test.i hope u are not taunting her for any infertility she may be suspected of.

 

i trust all that u r writing here.but be very sure that you are totally faultless.sometimes we dont realise that our talking style and actions are abuses.

for eg:

not talking to one's partner is mental torture,although the abuser can say i did not hit or speak badly to my spouse.

 

so u r the best judge!

CommonMann (Software Professional)     23 November 2010

Roshni B is absolutely correct. Do all the correspondence through proper channel ie through registered post. One more thing don't lodge any police complaint. Law is totally biased towards women. You can do one thing whatever you feel you can right to SP city, to your nearest pol;ice station and to mahila thana for there information and take stamp or received from them. So that infuture if your wife file any case you will have some of these proofs. But don't open any sort of proofs in front of your wife until case is in trial phase. Also will suggest you to put someone who is strong enough and who can mediate betwen both parties for easy solution to come out of this. Mediation is the better solution between husband and wife cases.

1 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     23 November 2010

in my above post,please read

not talking to one's partner is mental torture,

AS

not talking to one's partner for many days/months is mental torture.

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     23 November 2010

an aggrieved husband/wife shud visit legal websites or persons only when they have tried out all ways like marriage counselling or mediation by impartial & wise frenz,relatives etc.if not,please do so now.

going to lawyers shud be the last resort.

suraj (ab)     23 November 2010

She knows about recording as I told her to mend her ways as wel as her parents towards family. I dont see any mediator, as the one who arranged our marriage has walkout  when her parents denied to talk on the issue mutually between family members from both sides. Now no one who can initiate mediation, nor they left any door open for talk.

They didnt even attend visit 'Hawan' we performed on my mothers death anniversary this month, though I had invited them personally on the day of Karwachauth. I asked my wife to come back home  n lets sort out mutually n parents with my family mutually. But she didnt turned up neither on Karwachauth nor on Hawan'...

She didnt even call me since the day she left..

Self service (None)     23 November 2010

Suraj,

Very similar case posted on this website early this year. Same kind of medical and monetory reasons involved.

You should not keep quite. Do follwoing things:

#1. Inform Sr police officer with request to concelling and mentioned about taking her belongings

#2. Send RCR notice

based on notice reply  take necessary action with help of local lawyer.

You need to safe yourself also do not accept any unreasonable demand etc.

CommonMann (Software Professional)     23 November 2010

See only tool that husband has is RCR (restituion of Congunal Rights). File that and write evrything positive in that regarding your relationship with wife and write that you are eager live with your wife. But be ready for counter cases like DV,498a,506, etc etc. You can do one thing, after filing RCR, you can bribe persons who send summons, to not send summon to wife in case of RCR. Prolong it for a year. Than you can take divorce easily on this basis and also if your wife file cases you will be a bit on safer side. Than you can strongly defend your case. But this should be the last resort. Try to do compromise first in all possible ways.  Remember one thing "Duniya tamasha dekhti hai sirf. No body is there to help you and wife out of this trauma. Only you 2 can make it possible".

Viswanath (Student)     23 November 2010

You can file a petition before the family court for restitution of conjugal rights , if it is not complied with, then it becomes a good ground for divorce.

suraj (ab)     23 November 2010

what if she reply to my petition with DV statements n al? She is already alleaging me for thrashning, abusing for infertility ect through common relatives?

Viswanath (Student)     24 November 2010

She has to prove any such DV before the court. The burden of proof  lies upon the spouse who has deserted you. 

suraj (ab)     24 November 2010

Pls senior suggest me.. what should I do?

Viswanath (Student)     24 November 2010

First consult an advocate to file a petition under section 9 of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955. It is called a petition for restitution of conjugal rights.

In this petition you ask the court to restore your marital rights.

suraj (ab)     24 November 2010

I try to call her but she didnt pcik my call.. My relatives wants to go there but i think if her parents are not bothered much to talk then why should we? Otherwise should we go first once again? or go through legal way now?

 

Originally posted by :suraj

"
Pls senior suggest me.. what should I do?
"

Viswanath (Student)     24 November 2010

Always choose the legal remedy. First give a notice for RCR. Anyways, she must react to it.

She cannot give any false statements like DV or any such thing, because it cannot be proved before the court. The case will prolong for some time.


Once you send a notice, yiou are safe. You put them at the receiving end. So, this would be a suitable remedy.


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