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Tapas Das (IT)     21 March 2013

Wife is not ready to give me divorce

After 4 years of our marriage, my wife recently disclosed to me that for past 5 years (we lived in for 2 years) she was actually thinking about someone else with whom she had an emotional and physical relationship. She never thought about me. And because of that, she never care about my actions. She is telling that as she realized this recently, she would like to start our relationship seriously and want me to stay with her.

For 5 years, she never accepted my feelings for her, she always used fight me with for everything I did, or whatever I did. Because of both of our stupidity, there are no se*xua* relation between us for past 3 years, or you can since our marriage. I will explain that reason bellow. She questioned my father's intention who is 75 now and due to his age, he normally forget to lock the bathroom door almost every time at night only. She knows that my mother is suffering from Parkinson, still she fight with me that my mother is doing this willingly.

Due to all kind of mental harassment she did to me, still I was ready to undergo circumcision operation pretty soon, but the new revelation by her, forced me to think about the last option that is divorce.

 

I would like to know my options here. NOTE: I have the Facebook chats and IM conversation saved with me where she accepted that she is not a wife material and she can never raise her own kinds. She also accepted there that she indeed never thought of me for first 5 years and was never in love with me. Those chats can also prove that I clearly told about my way of life, how I intend to live and my parents health issues before I moved in with her and before marriage and not for few times, but multiple time. Not for a single time, she objected to those points.

Reason for no physical relation

When we came back from home after our marriage, due to an infection, I had to go for circumcision. Doctor told me to get admitted on Friday and that I had to stay only for 2 days at max. I requested my wife to take one day off from her office. She told “ I can’t take any more day off, not even on medical grounds, and you do not have any idea how my company works.” Listening to that, I suggested her that I may request one of very close friends to stay with me for one day. She then told “In that case you are not thinking about me and you are not giving me my rights.” I was disheartened, and decided also told her that until she approach when she is ready to take a day leave, I will not go for operation. She never came to me with that day and my ego took over. Till now she don’t understand what foolish thing we did and blame me for everything.

To inform that although we both are aware of each other past, but as I followed in with complete trust, just because I want divorce, I would like to bring her character issue here. Although she was divorcee and she fled from her home to get married that time, although I know that she had physical relations with 6-7 different guys and many one night stand offs, still I don’t want to divulge any of those in to the open. I just can’t live with her any more and want divorce from her. And I am not sure whether she will give me mutual divorce or not.

 

Also, my mental situation is like that, I am ready to go to jail for contempt of the court, if I can’t get divorce. But I will not stay with her and I will not pay a single paisa as alimony to her. I better live my life behind jail than giving her  alimony who never accepted me as a husband and 5 years of marriage she wants to start afresh.

 

 

Regards,

 

Tapas Das

Syste

 



Learning

 21 Replies

JASWANT VIJAY AGNIHOTRI (AIR ARMY)     21 March 2013

she only needs money, have u filled divorce, my case is almost same like u but i have voice recordings not facebook cmnts. if u think that she may file case to harash u then u can proceed .

depend upon u, what u want. later it may effect u.

meet her paramour and get her mobile call detail. track her each movement.

mind it-

GOOD TIME NEVER COMES, TAKE DESITION NOW - NEPOLION 

Akshay Sahni (Founder/Partner)     21 March 2013

Dear Sir,

We would be able to help you through, for any further queries please visit www.indialawhelp.com

We have offices in New Delhi, Mumbai, Pune, Bangalore, Chennai, Dhandad, Noida.

 

Regards

Akshay Sahni

Advocate

09891982832

Advocate M.Bhadra   21 March 2013

Under Hindu Marriage Act

sec.12 voidable marriage

(1) Any marriage solemnized, whether before or after the commencement of this Act, shall be voidable and may be annulled by a decree of nullity on any of the following grounds, namely:-

(a) that the respondent was impotent at the time of the marriage and continued to be so until the institution of the proceedings; or

(b) that the marriage is in contravention of the condition specified in clause (ii) of section 5; or

(c) that the consent of the petitioner, or where the consent of the guardian in marriage of the petitioner is required under section 5, the consent of such guardian was obtained by force or fraud; or

(d) that the respondent was at the time of the marriage pregnant by some person other than the petitioner.

 

Under Special Marriage Act

sec.25. Voidable marriages.- Any marriage solemnized under this Act shall be voidable and may be annulled by a decree of nullity, if-

(i) the marriage has not been consummated owing to the wilful refusal of the respondent to consummate the marriage ;or

(ii) the respondent was at the time of the marriage pregnant by some person other than the petitioner; or

(iii) the consent of either party to the marriage was obtained by coercion or fraud, as defined in the Indian Contract Act, 1872 (9 of 1872):

Provided that in the case specified in Cl.(ii) the Court shall not grant a decree unless it is satisfied-

(a) that the petitioner was at the time of the marriage ignorant of the facts alleged;

(b) that proceedings were instituted within a year from the date of the marriage; and

(c) the marital intercourse with the consent of the petitioner has not taken place since the discovery by the petitioner of existence of the grounds a decree :

 

 

Mutual consent Divorce is best option.failing which  you can file a suit for Annulment of Marriage with a Petition under sec.5 of the Limitation Act for condonation of delay.


(Guest)

Zindagi jeene ke sau tareeke, living life behind bars even Sanjay Dutt does'nt want.


Lots of other ways are there to get out of the situation that you are in.


Think it out.


Welcome to the club.

Tapas Das (IT)     21 March 2013

I understand your point sir, but living a life life this is no better than that. I may be sound logical but a wife, who herself confess over facebook chat while I way, that she is not a wife material but only a girl friend, I think you can imagine what kind of life would be that. She is not ready to understand that at my father's age it's very normal that he forget to lock bathroom door some time. But she is treating this a a cruelty to her.

I am unableto understand when I told her about my intentions very clearly before marraige which even thier parents know, why she didn't objected that ime? Although, she had discussion with her mom regarding this but till now, they havn't tried to reach me. :-(

Tapas Das (IT)     21 March 2013

thank you very much for above information sir, but I am simple person with out any knowledge about the language or words. On which ground I should file a case?

Do you think simply because our life style does not match and we are in no condition to adjust is a ground? Or her objection to my parents medical helth releated issues? Or her confession of her infedility (thinking about some one else while staying with me) over facebook chat and office Instant messenger session are ground of filing divorce?

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     21 March 2013

If her physical relationship with this other man was ongoing after you got married, you may seek divorce on grounds of adultery.

www.mehnat.in

Tapas Das (IT)     21 March 2013

My only worry is, if she disagree to mutual divorce and in the court also, if she tells that she is ready to adjust ( after 5 years, I can tell she wont) with me then what? What are my options?

 

Thanks a lot for your assistance sir.

Tapas Das (IT)     21 March 2013

I think she didn't had any physical relationship with the other person after we met. But she has confessed over facebook chat and in our office Instant Messenger that for all these years, she was thinking about that other person which kept her realising how important I am to her. She has also confessed where she told me that now as she is empty from her mind, she wants to start a new life with me. How can I forget 5 years, when I tried my best to build our relation, every stage she faught with me, our life style never agreed to each other. with my salary, its impossible to have any kind of future. She never ever spent her salry for our family, neither she discuss those with me. If she give me any money, I have to return her that in next month. I can prove with my bank details that for past 5 years, I am paying something between 15-20 thousands to her account for what ever reason her credit card was used. Most of the time, it would be for our house hold items or for any item we purchased for both of us.

Advocate Ravinder (Advocate/Attorney)     21 March 2013

 

First of all decide whether you want to live with her or not. Because once you knock the doors of court, the chance of union i.e. living together will not be possible. 

If you want to part with her, you can file divorce petition under the grounds of cruelty & adultery.  You will definitely get divorce even without her consent, but it will take time.

Regarding her filing the case against you is concerned, she can file maintenance case.  Apart from civil maintenance she can also file for maintenance under Sec. 125 Cr.p.c. You cannot escape from paying maintenance.  It will be depending upon your salary or income. If she is working women there is no need to pay maintenance.

Likewise, as a vengeance, there are chances of filing cases under section 498-a of IPC for harassment against you and your family members as it has become a style for married women nowadays.  She can also file dowry case, DV case etc.

Alternatively, you can also make negotiations with well wishes, mediators and common friends to settle the matter and go for mutual consent divorce and settle for one time alimony(maintenance). There will not be any question of filing cases against each other. 

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     21 March 2013

This is a dead marriage. Get out of it.

Tapas Das (IT)     22 March 2013

I want to get out of this relation. But I am not sure if my reasons will hold ground in the court. 1. Our life style is exactly opposite and there are no question of adjustment. 2. She will never care for my parents who are 76 and 65 years old and that too when my mom is suffering from Parkinsons. 3. She only confessed that she is not a wife material, she can't think of being one any day in facebook chat. I am not sure what could be the probable proofs I need to produce in court to proof this if she does not agree to mutual divorce and not ready to go to court either. Thanks again to all of you for helping out here. Much appreciated. And I pray, no one else goes through this, be a male or a female.

shriks........... (healyhcare)     22 March 2013

its indeed a dead marraige.....
if u keep on thinking.......thoughts r never ending............no if no but instead later scratching b*tt, file n fight

Tapas Das (IT)     22 March 2013

Big question and a problem is, we are currently staying in Bangalore and our marriage was registered in West Bengal. Can I file the divorce case in Bangalore directly?

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