wife is demanding loan from my relatives w/out my knowledge



To,                                                                                                                              11 Mar,2013


Dear Sir,


I am a father of two boys and I have been married for 10 years. I am struggling right now feeling tense and betrayed. I feel my marriage is falling apart because of my wife who has been demanding loan or help from my relatives/friends/ neighbours and anyone who is remotely linked to me or my family.

I have always tried to be a good and responsible husband but she has always shown her interest more towards money then in me or my kids ..i have always been honest,open and sensible to her  since we know each other  but she has never been honest and open  but still I believed her as things were not going so wrong.she has chosen to maintain a very suspicious life style in the recent years.I do not know that how and when she became so greedy of money that she started lying to any one she came across with all fake reasons and I am also surprised that those people  helped her with money without my consent or knowledge .


My problem started in Jan 2013, when my relative informed me  that my wife had asked for some money without my knowledge. I suspected something wrong and I asked her but she refused  that completely as false..and assured me that there was nothing as such and she was helping one of her cousin sister and friend..


I accepted her words as truth and continued with my normal day today activities until in mid Feb 2013 one of her friend informed me that my wife has taken a loan of Rs one lakh from her in month of December 2012 with the promise  that she would return that in few days. She also told me that she could not inform me earlier as my wife had instructed her not to tell anything to me or other family members.


When I asked my wife, she was shocked to know that her friend told me about loan..since then she has been lying and hiding facts but now she has admitted that she  asked and demanded money from number of people in the recent past  and received but where that money is gone is still not clear..i tried every possible way to find out the truth but she changes the sequence of money spent .when I found that she was not comfortable with my questioning ,I requested her cousin sisters on 25th Feb 2013, to come to my house and find out what she has done and why? She maintained her silence and remained quiet while her sisters questioned her and revealed very strange answers..like some snatcher  has snatched her purse with money..she has given it to some one and that person ran away..or money given as interest..all this seems untrue as the amount she claims to have received and the amount she has spent or given to someone .. has a big difference..



Few days back when  I was fed up with all this , clearly told her that if she would not tell me the truth then I would call her parents and tell them the whole thing..i spoke to her mother who was in Lucknow that time and requested her to come and speek to her.To my surprise when my mother in law  informed me about her reservation to coming to Delhi my wife created a scene  in the house saying that if her mother would come here then she would run away from the house ….so her mother was informed by her  better  not to come or else she would do something wrong..



Yesterday on 10 th Mar 2013, she said she had given some money to her friend/relative in Sep 2012 and now her friend /relative is refusing to accept that..we reported this incident to police also on 10/03/2013 at shakarpur police station.. when we reached house that relative came to our house and informed us that my wife  has been lying to all of us and threatened her that if she would not do what my wife  says then she will not return her money. This friend/relative also showed us the documents on which my wife had taken loan in month of July 2012.and my wife had given 2 cheque leaves from my cheque book which is not operational,  and taken loan against those  forged cheque leaves with someone making my signatures..


This has made me very upset and I really do not know to what extent she has gone to damage her life as well as my life by taking undue advantage from my relatives, friends and  others..


I can not trust her any longer as she has never realized the outcome of what she has been doing or involved in and continuously hiding facts deliberately and making stories to fool me and others.


Every other day a new person comes up in our house and says that she has taken money from me..somtimes she admits that but sometimes  keeps silence..


I still do not know who is at fault my wife who has asked for money without any credentials, has no regular income of her own or the one who has taken a risk and offered her loan…


Now she is depressed, living in continuous tension ,not engaging herself in daily in house activities because I feel that there is still something which is not known to me


I would request you to advise me in this regard …how can I find out the truth as this is making my life like a hell and where should I report..



Thanks & Regards,






You are clearly undergoing a bad period in your married life. Try for joint counselling or divorce.

IPC 498a



You are in a big mess dear :)

She must have become greedy and must have been spending that money either on her family or fer her own luxuries. Try and keep a watch on her, may be hire a detective to see what she do during the whole day when u r out of home.

And side by side save yourself and ask the persons who has given loan to ask that money from ur wife n not u. If reqd, do a joint counselling while sitting with all the people who have given loan and resolve the issue.

It may create a big mess later on otherwise for u as well




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