Subhomoy Das (Retail Manager) 23 June 2011

Wife

To Tajobsindia: WHAT ARE MY FAULTS

Tajobsindia

A professional person

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Thank the Contributor

@ Author

You put forward before general public a very good reasoning in your last sentence of the said brief;

"What are my fault..... !"

Well, few assumed faults are as follows;

1. Did you file a police report that wife though left for delivery of child to her home but inspite of your request she is not joining matrimonial home post delivery nor showing to natural father and only surviving granmother the face of the child hence kindly help ?

2. Did you send a open RPAD letter of request to your wife to allow you and your widow mother to meet / see your new born baby atleast once?

3. Did you send a open RPAD letter of request to your wife to return back to matrimonial home with new born child?

4. Even if In Laws offered maint. of pregnant wife and upkeep of new born child did you offer or sent money order to your wife as per your status for her post pregnancy related upkeep as well as new born special needs?

Now these are some of 'faults' which concerned Court will be quick to point to you whenever and whichever date she ever files any civil and or criminal suit against you.

The remedy is inspite of knowing shortcoming of Family Law as expressed logically in your brief you are suggested to call for neutral parties intervention to break the impasse going on between you two. Make few real efforts for reconciliation on evidentry records basis and if all efforts fails then the safest Application that you must file asap is for visitation of child for yourself as well as on part of grandmother but do keep sending her maint. money till she raises 'demand".

MYSELF: 23/06/2011

1. I`ve not report to the police station as i dont want the matter to go to the court or police station. Moreover police dont accept such complain untill one does have a strong influence or political support. this is the hard fact in our society today.

2. I`ve sent atleast 7 letters , 40 SMSs and phone callssss requesting/asking my wife to return to her matrimonial house with the baby. Even my mother also asked her to come back. But she dont want to come as she is more interested in joining service at her parents house than to do family. She told me that if i and my mother is interested to see the baby then we have to travel 400 kms and more in different state to her parents house. Thats is not possible for my mother who is 72 yrs old aged and sick widow. My mother is mentally stressed as she lost her 52 yrs Old life partner (her husband - my father) recently. My mother dont go anywhere not even to our relative house.Due to this attitude the atmosphere betwen two families have deteorated. Whats the gaurantee that if i and my mother goes to my wife parents house then shall we be allowed to enter their house. they might put false allegations of stealing or creating trouble in their house. no one never knows.

3. Ref to point no. 2 i`ve sent her atleast 7 Letters, 40 SMSs and phone calls asking/requesting her to come back. Pre delivery i used to send her money by money order regularly. She didnt ask any money from me though. i send on my own. ("rupaya bhejne ki koi jaroorat nahin" she told me). During delivery i went to her parents house. I spent 4 nights with my wife at the Hospital. Though my inlaws were ready to bear all expenses for the delivery and also responsibility then also i paid 50% of the Hospital bill by cash as the hospital was not ready to accept payment by cheque or by credit card. the bill raised by the hospital was in my wife (patient ) name. I couldnt stay for more than 5 days as my office were not ready to grant leave at any cost for more than 5 days.Thats the last time i saw my daughter who was 2 days old then. My mother have not yet seen my daughter nor my relatives.

4. Post delivery i`m sending her money by Cheque and by Money order. Though she didnt ask money from me till now but she neither refused my money tooo which i`m sending for her and for the baby. She didnt gave her bank A/C no. or Branch . Anyhow i managed to find it out(WHERE THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY). I prefer to send her money thru online transfer rather sending by money Order which takes around 15 days to reach. But the question here is HOW LONG SHALL I SEND HER MONEY? if she joins the service there at her parents house thats means she will not come back to her matrimonial house. Thast exactly what she and her parents wanted. That she will stay there with her parents , baby and service. i`l be staying here and i have to do the duty and bear all reponsibilty of my wife and the baby. But i cant enjoy my fatherhoodness. for that i have to travel 400 kms to my inlaws house. She will not give me divorce also.SO IS IT A NATURAL PROCESS TO LEAD A FAMILY LIFE? I`m cooperating with my wife by all means but she is not.

If she joins the service then does she eligible to claim maintenance from me??

I dont want to go to the Court as far as possible. but that will be my last option. Even i told my inlaws that they should make their daughter understand. But my inlaws on one hand is tellling me that the entire decision is at the discretion of their daughter9my wife). On the other hand they are telling their daughter not to return to her matrimonial house. I dont know what will happen in future or what will happen in Court. But the way my wife is behaving one day she have to repent for her attitude because truth always prevail in the hands of God. There is no one above the law-- CORRECT but except God and Humanity... I tried my best for Counselling / solving the problems within ourselves. but she and her parents werent ready to listen anything as they know specially my wife that solving the problem byy discussion/counselling will not serve her purpose ( doing job at her parents house and staying there with the daughter, her parents, own parents house, and Service. she is more interested in doing that rather than to stay at matrimonial house and lead a normal family life. But she wont give Divorce also as she needs a Husband ( husband tag) in future when parents wont be there anymore. By not giving divorce she can claim her rights from her matrimonial property / money....

Still there will be my Fault only: Right ?

Thanks

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1 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner ) 23 June 2011

@ Author

I have read your separate rebuttal to my advise to one of your earlier post. Infact you could have replied in the same post to read down the continuity. However after reading your para wise reply here are my last summery advise;

1. For Indian Men Family Law related cases whether filed and or about to file and already file does not work on 'emotions and sentiments' One needs a clear head to think and act with hosh and or with josh.

1a. Your para 1 reply is self justification and women say so here in generic. Have you not heard SC law that no PS cannot refuse filing a cognizable and non cognizable complain. One needs a doer not complainer under such circumstances.

1b. Unless and until you travel first and see what happens how you can seek answers to something that may or may not even happen. The logic here before doing is to inform local police station of your purpose of visit and then visit her territory and if as you procrastinate happens then your visit application is your innocence proof !

1c. OK if you have sent money without she raising demand then what bad you have done ! You are following your husbandly and fatherly duties. Now if she says she does not require money / need money then also you can save that part into a FD and or into a bank account of her and or child's name and tell her you doing so, I mean some adjustment here and there are required instead of getting hurt with some sentence of wife and or rolling into some self created egos. Today your mother is undergoing bereavement but tomorrow she will accept the hard facts iof personal loss so that time take her to meet grandchild and or follow 1b and bring videos of child and make your mother come out of her personal loss slowly to a level where she may accompany you next time.

1d. For this you make a cut of date / year that till that time I will follow husbandly / fatherly duties and then FILE a RCR. Post RCR if she does not come back then follow it up with divorce / child visitation custody applications. I mean all dysfunctional spouse goes through same rut so why you are taking as if you are some spouse here. The moods and modesty of women only she can reveal and or hint upon so where are you to guess her every milli seconds when even God’s failed to decipher HER ! For maint. claims there are hundreds of posts here try reading them to understand how maint. works we think spoon feeding at this stage may not help.

1e. Don't go by dictionary meaning of FAULT that I wrote before. You should understand now that in today's urban fast track lifestyle not many spouse relationships are for eternity so you may throw your grudge as in last para and start thinking with hosh and josh instead of rebutting to us each and every words and paras.

I suggest at this stage read last 100 posts by various authors / writers and get a clear grip of picture and act accordingly as their can't be straight jacket formula given to your case and yes ultimately a Indian husband is like a watermelon and his wife is like a blunt knife now it depends how and when and why one falls on whom but ultimately it is the Indian husband who is going to get a nip and tuck so take time off and think from clear head and you will see the clear perspective and may God give you strength to have grip of all of them.

There is no need to further justify your stand do all that before Court of Law till you are alive and what happens after one dies is not present concern as presently three ladies life is hanging on fine family law fabrics which only you can untangle with a somewhat perfectionist (josh and hosh)............

At the end let me also tell you that you are not able to understand all long long practical replies as you want legal popup, so in simple legal language I say seek consulation with Jurisdiction Ld. Advocate and File S. 9 HMA suit along with S. 26 HMA and seperate Application under S. 151 CPC for visitation of child till case is decreed in same. She may retaliate with S. 24 HMA and or even dowry, seperate maint.; suit under S. 125 CrPC but at the end you will get clarity from all these then you will understand what actually I meant by Fault...............

All the best.