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tarun (software engineer)     05 February 2011

Why is divorce considered wrong

While I mostly hear it from religions, I also hear it from some people that say divorce is wrong and that a married couple should always stick together. I really don't understand why, after all, not everything works out in life and marriage is one of them. The divorce rate is so high it must mean something. How are two people suppose to stay together no matter what and why?

While I never been part of a marriage myself, my parents got divorced and I was there for it. My father is at fault here for so many reasons. He had some children (I don't know how many) that he basically acted like didn't existed and kept that knowledge hidden from others. He cheated on my mother, like if she was away from a few days or he would be on the phone a lot with other women. He forced me to go out with him during the time he was moving away and even got into a custody battle, just to look good in front of the rest of the family (not so much cared about me) who believed him and thought my mother and sisters had gone crazy. He was like their perfect angel. He even molested both my older sisters when they were just babies and of course, denied it when the truth finally came out many years later. So many lies...

I'm sure there are far worse cases. This isn't meant to be my life story, but rather, to give insight on why "divorce is wrong" is something I don't buy into and having a really hard time seeing that point of view. My mother was suppose to somehow stay with a man who disowned some of his children, cheated, lied a lot, and even molested his own daughters (not to mention denied all of this)? They were both fed up with each other (my mother after finding out those things and getting pass love blindness), so what were they suppose to do, make up? For those who believe divorce is wrong, why should they have stayed together, why should my mother have stayed with that man?

I don't mean for this to sound so personally, but I felt throwing out an example from my own experiences would lead to a deeper discussion of why divorce is wrong, even with those type of people out there like my father. 

  • foundation
    I personally dont think that it is wrong. I think people grow and change and do stupid stuff and at some point love cant even help it. I do think though that sometimes people rush into marriage thus ending in divorce because they never built a foundation. Like with a house. Without the foundation every thing will fall. There are many reasons for divorce and my mother divorced her first husband because he was quite the colorful character. I dont really think there is a bad reason for divorce unless you get married super fast or while your drunk or something like that. Then you need smacked.



 5 Replies

Suchitra. S (Advocate)     05 February 2011

You are in a law forum here. We do have divorce laws in India and it is not considered an "offence" so as to be construed as a "wrong". Our Constituion is Supreme for us and it emphasises freedom of personal choice.

1 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     05 February 2011

@ Author

It is felt wrong by those medieval mindset people still among us who call it “sacred and have given it a stamp of being an institution”.
2. If a couple can’t try to walk to that last sunset hand in hand then there is no point keeping them bonded. I donot consider divorce to be wrong at all. By this statement I don't mean to convey that divorce should happen as in regular newspaper delivery at your doorstep every morning.
3. Indians (including me) like gossips a lot and is more interested to know on daily basis what the next door neighbour is doing than minding their own business thus when your neighbour uncle / aunty ji gets divorce it is given a name of ‘stigma’ immediately in your family leave aside what is the happenign to that unfortunate neighbours. Com’n see yourself on daily basis the so called intellectual class approaching these Legal Discussion Boards such as say LCI Family Law Forum and so many others live on W3 is itself live example of throwing away their so called “stigma” and each briefs shows some amount of ‘desperations of mind’ of an adult individual of either gender. Well even you could not resist to post your personal tragedy and thus seeking answers.........
4. Now, comes in picture the so called self styled social “protectors of wife” as in any couples marriage in the nature of police, judiciary and finally advocates supported by battery of councilors, psychiatrists, caw cell and what all nots. So involvement of STATE in marriage is pervasive is my thinking. Well, nothing wrong in their respective approach as in my blunt comment wise but then someone amidst them is bound to become ‘predator’ to the same wife on the go is it not seen so! That is where it becomes “divorce is wrong” catchy word as in syndrome further as in a jamal ghota of last generations fading out lights passed on as Rx to we the first generation of productive youths of the Country then we question ourself – hey is divorce wrong.  I mean cm’n why you need a ‘search for justification’ to action and reaction in presented briefs scenarios man!. I also mean if your father did what he is not supposed to have done as in family man then why publicize his so called misdeeds and thus seek redemption (read justification of his actions) NOW ! It shows you are still ‘searching’ that something………I would say carry forward with your life jointly with persons now left behind that is your duty now.
5. What works in marriage is give and take “trust”, “safety” and “security” all in as “space to a couple to grow and nurture them” and a will for continuation of the same. Rest is all individuals perception influenced as per societal trend and inner awakening.

You need re-reading of this reply to understand what I actually I am conveying to you.

BTW, I admit men are less expressive as in emotional bonding (read giving expressions to fellow men) then women. Illustration - flip this question (means change father to mother) and further change authors name to some female name and see pouring reactions ha ha aha………

1 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     05 February 2011

Divorce is justified if one partner is adulterous and/or very cruel.


otherwise i dont support it whether someone calls me medieval mindset girl,sentimental,blah blah blah.

infertility,wife/hubby earning less or losing job,wife or hubby into depression etc are silly grounds for divorce.if one cant stand up for his troubled partner in hard times,better dont marry and go in for a live in relation,so that he can ditch the partner as soon as he faces some problems in his life

in ur mum's case she was very very very right to leave ur dad,from wot u told us abt. him.If she was my mum or sister,i wud have got angry by now,why she's carrying on with such a person.




1 Like


I personally can't support divorce when children is there....

But  ATHaUR  after going thru your post I think in is right to take divorce in some particular cases....


Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     07 February 2011

should be discouraged as far as possible, but not in extreme cases where two living together means a living hell.

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