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manisha (freelancer)     01 July 2014

What steps should be taken to relieve from sil

Hi,

I am from chennai. My brother recently got married i.e on March (3-3-2014) and he wants to file a divorce case by mutual consent. Reason for divorce is girl and her parents are mentally torturing my brother. My brother got registered in one of matrimony portals, and he recieved a call saying that the girl liked him. He had two to three meetings at common place with her parents permission. After he was okay, we all went to her house no one liked her only my brother liked her.  So my parents went ahead with my brother wishes. Girls parents rushed to have engagement and wedding soon. My father told atleast there should be six months or year gap after engagement. They told girl father has heart attack, so fix the muhurtham soon. After getting married, my brother went to honeymoon with her, there he have noticed some behavior of her , he thought it was normal.. Later, he came to know about that she doesn't have 12th grade certificates and it was in court cases. She discontinued BDS, and she joined one B-school where certificates are not necessary.  Often, she used to cry complaining about my brother which he haven't done such things. Her parents verbally tortured my brother for two months. He never informed anything to my parents, he thought things could be changed.  She was physically abusing my brother by pulling his chest hair, waking him at midnights often, pulling his quilts to disturb . If she doesn't gets on that day, she is telling lies about my brother that he was torturing. I recorded whatever she was saying about my brother and she often says "I would suicide". After listening to recorded , my brother told that without police complaint letter she should not enter in the house. Because she is telling more lies about my brother which he haven't done.  Her father and mom blackmailing if he doesn't adjusts only the kid would be born as handicap. My brother haven't contacted or taken their calls for past one month, now they started telling to my relatives that my brother was bad guy.  They are just blackmailing my brother that baby would be aborted, but they have decided to play the game with baby.  Her parents forcing my brother to live with her. She is behaving like pyscho, and no one believes whether she is doing these things. Now what steps should be taken to relieve from this girl and her parents. They would not give mutual consent. 



Learning

 7 Replies

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     14 October 2014

In the above case, your brother has to wait for one year period for filing a divorce case from the date of marriage.  Please ask your brother to collect evidences of her pre-marital mental health/behavior and if possible the treatment particulars, this will help him to get divorce expeditiously.

1 Like

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     15 October 2014

Instead of you people interfering their new matrimonial life, let them adjust and settle themselves.  You people are picking up pettty issues like 12th certificate etc. because, in the first place itself your family except your brother wanted this marriage to happen.  Now your brother has been continuously tutored against the girl.  You people get off and tell your brother to find out the real problem with his wife that why she is behaving wackily, if she is behaving so and get counselling.  Continuous interference from inlaws, instead of giving newly married wife to adjust in the matrimonial home, spoil the matrimonial relationship.

fighting back (exec)     15 October 2014

@adv chandu.......asking for a 12th certificate can be a petty issue..but marriage is all about trust on one another...if that trust is broken,,,then the petty issue can be a marriage save or break issue......just because the brother liked the girl doesnt mean the boy was at fault, he liked her because the wicked girl was presented in front of him in such a way...and here you say that the inlaws should stop interfering, in all your past posts you have never ever advised this to a woman or a girl....why are you keeping these double standards...just because the sister of the boy has asked for help you advise her of stopping her interference and if it is a girl you advise of filing all the ' package cases' like 498 dv 125 hma 24......please dont be a hypocrite.

1 Like

CompelledToLearnLaw (Financial Examiner)     15 October 2014

The following concerns raised by your brother’s inlaws r not threats. They r pragmatic concerns:
 
1) A pregnant woman under a lot of stress has a higher likelihood of giving birth to an abnormal child.(It’s not a threat)
2) An abortion might be a pragmatic option for his inlaws n his wife if ur brother does not wish to live with her.(It’s not a threat either)
 
Her pulling his bed sheets n his chest hair suggests that ur brother refused to have s*x with her.(I think) Because once I was upset at my wife n I went straight to sleep and she did something similar.  
 
So what is the real problem here? 
 
I do not like Advocate Chandrashekhar due to his thread called ‘Nri tantrums’ but I must agree with him in this thread. Stop interfering in ur brother’s matrimonial life. Bring the pregnant wife back and let them adjust. I agree fully with the expert.
1 Like

manisha (freelancer)     16 October 2014

I am sorry for not posting things in detail.

Please This does not mean I m interferring in my brother's life.

In personal, my parents or I havn't interfered and doesn't know what happened between them.

Later day by day we came to know the truth about the girl.

1) SIL tells lies about my brother which he havn't done. (She told that my brother hitting, verbally abusing, and my brother watches xxx movies). She called my mom and me and told that your brother is doing these things to me. I had a slight doubt whether it is true or not. So I recorded whatever she said and asked my brother whether it was true. My brother told it was absolute false and explained why she was doing that so. If anything being asked to her parents " They are saying that my daughter would do like that until she gets it".

2) she never takes bath and told to my brother that her mom only bathes her.

3) She never stays in our home during morning, she comes only at evening. (Not regularly, once in a week she comes).

4) My brother havn't demanded dowry or any gifts from her parents. Still now my brother doesnt know what they have put but she took away the jewelry which my parents gave her.

5) My brother said that if he goes outing with her , she screams and fighting on the way.

6) She  often says that she would do suicide.

7) Some of the things seem to be normal that happens in everyone's life , but the mental torture she did to my brother and mom s plenty.

My brother told her to learn cooking. She told my brother to hire a maid to do all things.

Before getting married, they noded that these things my daughter do it.

Her father often fell on my brothers feet not to tell anything abt his daughter.

 

CompelledToLearnLaw (Financial Examiner)     16 October 2014

Manisha, how old r u? R u intelligent? Methinks not. You confronted ur brother whether he watches xxx movies? Think Manisha. Will any brother admit to his sister that he watches xxx movies? Same goes for the other allegations. I’m taking her side here coz she hasn’t filed any cases. If she was as bad as u say she is, ur thread’s title would’ve been, “how to get a bail. My SIL filed five cases on me.”

 

Do u know how we know that u r interfering in ur brother’s matrimonial life? Just look at the title u gave to this thread: ‘What steps should be taken to relieve from sil.’ We know u r interfering because u r not on the internet searching for solutions to make their marriage work. Instead u want to be ‘relieved from’ ur sister-in-law.

 

I must say that she staying out of the house during the day is a legitimate concern. I would not tolerate my wife going out of the house like that. But it depends where she goes. If she goes to her parents‘ house, I’m okay with that.

manisha (freelancer)     16 October 2014

@ compeled to learn law: I am not interferring. She was the one who said to me that your brother watches   I told her that even if he watches there is nothing wrong and its your personal should not shared to me. Later, she told I never said its wrong but he s not spending five minutes.

Repeatedly she says 5 minutes which I did not understand at that point of time. I dont understand why she called me and said these things about my brother. I dont talk to my sil because once on get together in between everyone she told that why I m smiling so fake. Her mother told that she too have fake smile and adjusted that situation. From that onwards, I stopped talking to her . After two days she approached me to ask sorry.

Yes no brother confesses to her sister that he watches. But in this case, she told lie about my brother. My brother asked sil infront of everyone (Her mother, and her relatives were present.)  She told to my brother that my mom only asked whether he watches and she never said that. 

Note: She was born after 13 years, and my brother told we could have baby later, but she and her mom insisted to have baby.  Now she says that my mom asked and my mom said to abort the baby. 

That's why I recorded because whatever she does she blames my brother and mother.  

Sil said that she would divorce him. Still now she havn't contacted my brother.


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