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Rajesh Kumar (Advocate)     30 June 2009

What are duties of wife?

We all know Indian Law gives various rights to wife- right to maintenance, right to shared matrimonial home, right to send husband and their relatives to jail etc etc.

Does the laws assign any duty to wife? Like treating the parents of husband with respect or taking care of family honour or doing house hold duties or any such duties. Whether the husband as any legal redressal if the wife is not fulfilling his duties? Or if the law gives only right to women and no duties- duties are only for slaves --



Learning

 18 Replies

Shree. ( Advocate.)     30 June 2009

Dear Rajesh Sir,

As per my (personal) answer  to your question , I don't believe in duties. . . I believe in working together to figure stuff out that would make  both happy. I don't think anything should be forced on anyone. .  and when you say ITS YOUR DUTY TO DO THIS. . . it is being forced. I'm sure if we love, respect each other you will find a way to work all that out willingly where you both are contributing willingly and because you want to. Duties should not really be based on gender, but just rather on the individual person. I’ll tell you what...I'll tell what I think of a wife... First of all, I am not seeking a wife...I am seeking a friend...A friend with who one can share some laughter, with whom one can share the sorrows...Someone with whom one can share the ups and downs of life, the pains and the joys of living...Someone to trust completely and someone whose trust I can keep...Someone, wholly dedicated to me in love as I can be to her...Someone to whom my honor is bound...Someone to live with and someone to die with...Someone, whose faith complements mine by filling in with what I lack in spirituality and peace...A lifelong friend, whose only bond to me is trust and fidelity from the heart...a woman's place. . is in a man's heart. and her duty is the same as his. I believe that as males and females we have certain qualities and duties in which  both to excel. A man can do something’s better than a woman and vice versa.

"Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
 
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” 
 

Shree. ( Advocate.)     30 June 2009

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 Like

A V Vishal (Advocate)     30 June 2009

The conduct of the married couple decides the peaceful future of the family. The husband and wife both follow the rules in a pattern, which brings happiness and prosperity to the family. After the customary marriage ritual, the husband is bound to perform all his necessary duties. The wife is to be an image of perfection. She should keep all her husband`s secrets and never revealed the quantity of his wealth, to excel all other women in charisma of appearance, in attention to her husband, in the area of cookery, in common cleverness, in ruling her servants prudently, in hospitality, in economy, in adapting expenses to income and in supervising every minute`s circumstance of her family`s daily routine.

She is to assist her husband in pursuing the three great aims of life-religious merit, assets and enjoyment. Neglecting enjoyment is as immoral as to be careless about religion and wealth. Such a perfect wife is termed as Padmini, which means "lotus like". Other kinds of names are Chitrini or a woman of varied activities; Sankhini or a conch like woman and the Hastini means a woman resembling the elephant.

Definition of a wife has been well stated in Mahabharata, which is accurately translated as follows:

"A wife is half the man, his truest friend,
A loving wife is a perpetual spring
Of virtue, pleasure, wealth; a faithful wife
Is his best aid in seeking heavenly bliss;
A sweetly speaking wife is a companion
In solitude, a father in advice,
A mother in all seasons of distress,
A rest in passing through life`s wilderness."

Smritis, Dharamkoshas and Puranas have extensively written about wife`s duties. The wife must be obedient ad submissive to the husband. She is to believe her husband to be her God. The wife shall not abandon her husband, even if he were blind, impotent, powerless, degenerate, lame or sick, as stated in the Sancta Likhita Smriti. A good-natured wife always worships her husband, as if he were a God; this was stated in the Manu V.154. The husband is considered as the lord of his wife and he is her God. Only by service to her husband can she hold on to a higher and noble position as stated in Ramayana Ayodhya Kanda, chapters 24, 26, 27. Manu Smriti in its fifth chapter, Vis`nu Dharmashastra 25, 22, Yagnavalkya I, 83-87, Mahabharata Anus`asana Parva 123 and Mahabharata Vanaparva 233.19.58 announce the conduct of righteous wives. Veda Vyasa Smriti II. In chapters 20,32, Madana Parijata, Vriddaharita XI.84, Smriti Chandrika Vyrahara Kanda and others well define at length on the duties of a wife.

In Mahabharata Anus`asana Parva 126, there is a discussion between Sandili and Samna in the talk that was exchanged between Bhishma and Yudhishtra. Sandili asked how she attained the blissful abode. Sandili replied to Bhishma thus:

"I reposed confidence in my husband. I did whatever my husband did. I never talked harshly to my husband at any time or on any occasion. I avoided for myself such foods and drinks that are disliked by my husband. I never adorned myself whenever he was away from the village. I served with care and attention, when he returned from his sojourn. I never talked standing on the threshold of my house. I used to get up from my bed early and do my duties. I worshipped the gods, the manes, Brahmins and parents in law. I discharged my family responsibilities. I performed my marital duties."

The Hindu society, as a custom strictly teaches the wives obedience, performance of duty and spirit of adjustment. Women in Hindu households learn the above mannerisms at parental homes.

Source: https://www.indianetzone.com/27/conduct_married_couple.htm

Kiran Kumar (Lawyer)     30 June 2009

sorry no comments from my side........m UNMARRIED yaar.

 

as far as law is concerned i dont find any such law which describes such duties........if any one finds so, then pls let me know.....it will be a better tool in future, i ll gift her on the first night. :-)

Kiran Kumar (Lawyer)     30 June 2009

sorry no comments from my side........m UNMARRIED yaar.

 

as far as law is concerned i dont find any such law which describes such duties........if any one finds so, then pls let me know.....it will be a better tool in future, i ll gift her on the first night. :-)

Rajesh Kumar (Advocate)     30 June 2009

Well Shree, I disagree with you. Rights and duties are complementary. A person's right is some other person duty. Thus a wife's right to maintenance is husband's duty to pay maintenance. Without such complemantary duty, a right has no meaning. To the best of my knowledge and belief, our law does not imposes any duty on wife, therefore a husband has no right in marriage. Marriage is an institution where husband has no right-only duties, wife has no duties- only rights. Your cartoons are appropriate, it explains everything.

And Vishal, we are not living in Mahabharata period. Do let us know if you can find some duties imposed on wife through modern laws, which can be imposed in modern courts.

Kiran is lucky one. Enjoy.

1 Like

A V Vishal (Advocate)     30 June 2009

Dear Rajesh

I don't know what religion you profess, but I must say that What is written in Mahabharata or Ramayana is not redunant and is apt even to the so called modern society, let us not forget that the modern day laws are based on these ancient scriptures, if you happen to read them then I think you can relate most of the present day happenings in those texts.

Rajesh Kumar (Advocate)     30 June 2009

You are right Vishal. By the way I am very religious Hindu and read these scriptures. I am not saying that these are redundants- all that I am saying that these cannot be enforced in the modern judical system. Whereever there is no remedy, there is no right. Ubi jus ibi remedium- without remedy there is no right.

let me quote you,

"Smritis, Dharamkoshas and Puranas have extensively written about wife`s duties. The wife must be obedient ad submissive to the husband. She is to believe her husband to be her God. The wife shall not abandon her husband, even if he were blind, impotent, powerless, degenerate, lame or sick, as stated in the Sancta Likhita Smriti. A good-natured wife always worships her husband, as if he were a God; this was stated in the Manu V.154. The husband is considered as the lord of his wife and he is her God. Only by service to her husband can she hold on to a higher and noble position as stated in Ramayana Ayodhya Kanda, chapters 24, 26, 27. Manu Smriti in its fifth chapter, Vis`nu Dharmashastra 25, 22, Yagnavalkya I, 83-87, Mahabharata Anus`asana Parva 123 and Mahabharata Vanaparva 233.19.58 announce the conduct of righteous wives. Veda Vyasa Smriti II. In chapters 20,32, Madana Parijata, Vriddaharita XI.84, Smriti Chandrika Vyrahara Kanda and others well define at length on the duties of a wife."

How many of such duties can be enforced?

Well, if we go into scriptures we will find that a husband has complete and inalienable right over wife- including right to kill wife (let me remind you of story of Parshurama), gamble his wife, sell his wife etc. etc. Arent these redundant? A thing can become redundent even when it is mentioned in scriptures.

I am saying that in the present marital laws we have, a husband has no right and a wife has no duty. All the rights belong to wife and all the duties belong to husband. 

 

 

Shree. ( Advocate.)     30 June 2009

Dear Kiran sir,

For your  near future need pls go through the below points:

Duties of wife

(1) Atharvaveda mantra 1/14/1 – A good wife should establish herself permanently in her husband’s house just as mountain firmly establishes itself on ground. If the wife is not learned and does not deal with the family problems etc., faithfully, gently and happily than Atharvaveda mantra 2/14/5 states that she can be divorced and vice-versa.

(2) Atharvaveda mantra 3/25/1- Wife should long to be in company of her husband.

(3) Atharvaveda mantra 3/25/5- wife should be attracted towards the loving attitude of her husband and should always remain sincere to her husband.

(4) Atharvaveda mantra 3/25/6 – wife should discover so much love and affection in her husband’s house that she should not remember her parent’s house at all.

(5) Atharvaveda mantra 3/30/2 – wife should conduct herself sweetly towards her husband.

(6) Atharvaveda mantra 4/38/1 – main qualities of wife:

(a) Should have conquered sensuality (b) hardworking (c) possessing best behaviour (d) striving to maintain home in best way.

(7) Atharvaveda mantra 4/38/2 -

(a) Preserves and increases husband’s money

(b) Spends portion of husband’s earnings on Yajyen.

(c) She is always working hard.

(8) Atharvaveda mantra 4/38/3-

(a) she does all household jobs with zeal and enthusiasm.

(b) Elevates the house in a very mature way.

(c) ensures that there is no shortage of milk and milk products in the house.

(d) conserves the household earnings.

(9) Atharvaveda mantra 4/38/4-

(a) she remains happy

(b) does not get effected by sorrows and anger

(c) makes every one happy with her good behaviour.

(10) Atharvaveda mantra 4/38/5-

(a) toils hard from sunrise to sunset.

(b) does her work in the light of sun and does not confine herself to dark rooms devoid of sunlight.

(11) Atharvaveda mantra 6/8/1 – wife should be dependent on husband just as a creeper completely depends on the tree.

(12) Atharvaveda mantra 6/8/3 -wife should never even think about separating from her husband.

13) Atharvaveda mantra 7/47/2- wife should remain healthy, possess expertise in household jobs, should be God fearing and remember God’s name and possessing divine qualities.



Duties of husband

(1) Atharvaveda mantra 1/34/5 - the sweet and loving behaviour of husband should make the wife to inculcate love and affection towards him.

(2) Atharvaveda mantra 2/30/4 - husband should not hide anything from the wife. In this way he shall win over her heart.

(3) Atharvaveda mantra 5/25/6- he should lead a disciplined, pious life.

(4) Atharvaveda mantra 6/9/2 - husband should try to win over his wife with his love.

(5) Atharvaveda mantra 6/81/1 - husband should lead a disciplined life and should be capable of earning money to sustain his married life.

(6) Atharvaveda mantra 6/89/1 - husband should respect his wife and consider his duty to protect the honour of his life.



Common duties

1). Husband and wife should share everything in common. This sharing leads to their long life- Atharvaveda mantra 2/30/2

2). Atharvaveda mantra 6/11/1- wife should possess serene/calm nature and husband should be hard working, possessing strong body. This leads to generation of brave children.

3). Atharvaveda mantra 6/42/1- husband and wife should be completely devoid of anger and should work together to accomplish house hold tasks.

4). Atharvaveda mantra 6/89/2- there should be perfect compatibility between husband and wife.

5). Atharvaveda mantra 6/36/1- husband –wife should loving gaze at each other and their faces should reflect happiness.

6). Atharvaveda mantra 7/37/1- husband should never think about females other than his wives and wife should dress up decently and sensibly covering all body parts.

7). Atharvaveda mantra 7/38/1 - wife should firmly hold that she shall never be away from her husband’s house and this firm conviction prevent the husband from being attracted towards other females.
    Source: https://www.vedmandir.com/node/153

1 Like

Rajesh Kumar (Advocate)     30 June 2009

Well Shree, Kiran understand the duties of husband- and as a lawyers he also understand as to how such duties and more (wife right to maitenence, matrimonial home, stree dhan, right on chirdren) etc. can easily be enforced, through right or wrong means.

Who will tell the perspective wife about his duties? Who will tell kiran as how those duties of perspective wife is to be enforced? 

Kiran Kumar (Lawyer)     30 June 2009

m highly thankful to Shree for provding such a gr8 info.......but frnds i dont believe all such things are being given respect in this materialsitic world.

 

relations are being build upon the foundation of money.

 

i ve got a bitter experience of this, when money, car, luxuries etc. are the foundation of any relationship then all such prinicples remain of no value.

 

lets our legislators include all these principles in the law books as well....

 

but one thing i must say its a matter of understanding the importance of each other....if a couple can give respect to each other's emotion and such relation is devoid of any materialistic considerations then rights and duties wil automatically be followed.  in that case there will not be any necessasity to remind the couple their mutual rights and duties.

 

Our parents and grandparents did not face such a problem....reason was the foundation of their relationship was love, mutual respect and not the materialistic thingss.

Vishwa (translator)     06 July 2009

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What I see from the above discussion is that learned lawyers are themselves are unclear as to whether wives have any duties (what about conjugal "duties"? bear children?) at all and if so, as to what these duties are.

In the case of a real divorce case, the views expressed above can hardly help the litigants unless there is an extreme rightwing judge believer of Vedas ;-)

The real question that needs to be addressed:

Is there any law against gender bias? In many countries, there are laws on discrimination based on s*x, these are generally clubbed with  discrimination due to race, religion etc.

 

In our modern times when women have quit their kitchens and swtched over to computer keyboards, such a law becomes extremely relevant.

 

Vishwa

Rajesh Kumar (Advocate)     12 July 2009

Well Vishwa, I am very clear- under Indian Law a wife has no duty. She has only priviliges- privilidge of maintenance, privilege to send her husband and inlaws to jail.

save Family System (fdf)     26 September 2016

In Metro cities, these days people have good salries.

Women empowerment - women do higher study and later they quit job due to performance pressure which is happening most these days.

What happens after marriage:

Women get following support in household works these days:

maids,  drivers, cooks, baby sitter, washing machine, Dish washer, Smart phones, LCD, Internet,

Mixer Grinder etc etc etc.....

For wives most of the work actually relates to monitoring things with no performance pressure.

But good earning husbands most of the time are under work pressure.

....

Imagine these two pictures, I hope somebody can really draw them :

1. Old age times......Husbands used to lay down on cots and smoking Hukkas.  

Mothers...were looking after 3-4 or 5 children, with no maid, no driver, no cook, no baby sitter.

No automated things in kitchen ..washing machines etc.  Even Pulses, Atta, Spices used to grind in homes by our mothers in contrast today most of the house hold items comes packed with no effort required.

 

2.  New Age 21st Century:

Husbands earn more and most of the time are after making money and caring about their performance, kids school and best amenties/comfort at their homes.

SO people have cars, LCD, Internet, Smart Phones, Washin machines, maids, drivers, cook, baby sitter.  All food items come hygenic and packed.

Seeing all these amenties women work is already reduced by 90%.

People have less number of kids these days with higher expenses in school fees etc.

Moher's main responsibilities remain to look after children , and I think these days as all of us suffered in our careers , most of the fathers give time to kids also.

 

PLessssssssssseeeeeeeee    Consider above reality.

 

What most of the women do these days in families when they are house wives and husband earns good salary...or  Upper middle class and above.

 

Smart Phones,  LCD, Kitty Party,  Facebook, Whatsapp,  Talking at their home regularly  [Note that in early days....Our mothers were not that connected with their homes, even ask with Wifes mother also].

 

is this Women Empowerment ?

 

I think the Word  "MOTHER"  got a BIG respect because they really sacrificed their lives to make ours in older days.

I dont know if  today's mothers even compete with old age mothers by 1%.

 

How much sacrifice today's wife doing as compared to older age.

Even after knowing all this our Law is handicap in putting some boundations on wife.

Shameful!

Marriage is about sharing responsibilities, and not like one person is doing all sacrifice.

There can be cases:

1.  Husband working , wife working

Household Responsibility must be divided in ratio of earning minus all automated stuff like washing machine, for example if a wife use fuly automated washing machine, its not an effort.

2. Husband working, Wife- Housewife

Depending upon salary and comfort husband can buy at home. 

if all comforts- maids/machines etc...Husband shuld give time to kids/wife with minimum household work,  

Because earning money is hard and takes your sweat and blood.

Washing clothes by fully automated washing machine, monitoring maid, cook, baby sitter and drivers is not at all painful work, and dont take your sweat and blood.

Moreover watching LED/LCD, surfing net, smart phones FB, Whatsapp etc at the comfort of Air conditioned rooms, whats wives are doing ????

3. Wife working, Husband is not working- very rare in India

 


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