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Rakhi (Software )     25 January 2011

Want to get divorce.Please help me out

Im married for the past 6  yrs.AFter marriage i have been staying away from my  husband as im working to make

a better livelihood for my family.We dont have any kids.I tried a lot with my husband but our heads dont match.

I asked him for divorce,for which he doesnt agree,he says at this age its difficult for him to get a girl.This

really hurt me,as he instead of finding solution to the problem,thought of himself.He stays he is happy staying

away but will not give a divorce.Kindly help me out from this situation.
If i move out and stay away from my husband for a stipulated  period(around 2 yrs) and send a divorce notice,
will it pose any problem for me.If still then he doesnt agree ,does the court have any law to enforce him for divorce.

KIndly suggest.If i dont take any decision now,my life will no be nowhere.help me out please.



Learning

 24 Replies


(Guest)

YOU MAY KINDLY NOTE THAT,

1SIX YEARS ARE PASSED AFTER .YOUR MARRIAGE.BOTH ARE LIVING IN SAME HOUSE.SOME DIFFERENCES.

2.YOU MAY TRY TO DISCUSS THE DIFFERENCES AND TRY TO SORT OUT PROBLEMS , IF REQUIRED YOU MAY CONSULT YOUR PARENTS ALSO..IN CASE ANY MEDICAL PROBLEM IS THERE THEN CONSULT YOUR FAMILY DOCTOR ALSO.

3.BUT IN CASE THERE IS NO SOLUTION TO THE DIFFERENCES THEN YOU MAY SHIFT TO YOUR PARENTS HOUSE AND ISSUE A LEGAL NOTICE FOR DIVORCE. ON CONSIDERING THE REPLY TO YOUR NOTICE ,IF DIFFERENCES ARE SORTED OUT YOU MAY CLOSE THE TOPIC. BUT IN CASE THERE IS NO CHANCE OF ANY COMPROMISE THEN YOU MAY FILE A DIVORCE PETITION IN THE COURT.COURT WILL ISSUE NOTICE TO OTHER SIDE AND EVEN IN COURT ALSO YOU CAN TRY TO COMPROMISE .BUT IN CASE IT IS NOT POSSIBLE THEN PROCEED FURTHER WITH THE MATTER IN THE COURT AND LET COURT DECIDE THE MATTER.GOOD LUCK.

Rakhi (Software )     25 January 2011

Dear Sir,
After marriage i have been staying away from my husband as im a working lady.

I used to go to the house on holidays or on some occasions.He never bothers to undertstand the pain

i take working outisde and call me near him to stay with him.He wanted me to work ,but still sees me in suspicious ways
and several times have said the samething to me.
Whenever we had such discussion i asked hime to leave me,but he never agrees to that.
My question is that if i stay away from him(without meeting him) for a stipulated period of time ,then do i have a strong

case in seeking divorce.I dont mind getting blamed for anything but i want to get rid of this life.
Kindly suggest me.

Waiting for your kind reply

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     25 January 2011

no , u cannot take advantage of deserting him.

valentine thakkar (advocate)     03 February 2011

3 years' absolute separation becomes a good ground for divorce in consonance with all other grounds.

Ambika (NA)     03 February 2011

Avnish is wrong here. If he is suspecting you unnecessarily, it means he is creating difficult environment for you to live in in the same house. He is almost compelling you indirectly to leave the house. When a spouse creates this type of situation, it is called desertion by the spouse who creates it and not the one who escapes from it. 

Ambika (NA)     03 February 2011

Harsh sir, in these cases documentary evidences are very difficult to produce. He will not write that he suspects her. 

Ambika (NA)     03 February 2011

Ah recording and all .....OK

Ambika (NA)     03 February 2011

You can start living separately if you wish to...you can even ask for judicial separation, just consult a good local lawyer.

Mallik Karra (Done with AIBE)     03 February 2011

File fo RCR & get the decree, then walk away from it saying that the conditions were deplorable to live in, after the lapse of 1 year file for divorce.

 

thats the beauty of RCR in HMA even the wrong doer can reap the benefit

(go thru the case although in this husb filed for RCR)

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/sc/SMT-SAROJ-RANI-Vs-SUDARSHAN-KUMAR-CHADHA-1770.asp

1 Like

Jamai Of Law (propra)     03 February 2011

Take help of a family councellor and utter 'D' word with a lot of thought only...its a dangerous word.

 

Getting divorce after a contest is a herculian task (as he is not willing for it). Discuss with hubby to resolve the differences and find out the ROOT CAUSE. Don't be under illusions that divorce makes life easier and a fresh start etc etc...it's in books only but reality is different.

There are very rare success stories about life after divorce.

 

 

One day a friend of mine was telling me, with a fabricated pride!, that 'he was enjoying pav-bhaj everyday/daily and having a blast!! as wife's gone to her maika/parents place for delivery'..........but his face was telling different story that 'khane pine ke lale pade hain'

 

 

There are hardly 1% of couples in India where heads/expectations/ambitions/nature/personality etc etc do match more than 40%. Still it is worked out. All these things fade out over the passage of time and age..what remains is the longevity of a relationship.

 

 

Indian society hasn't changed much. People look at you differently although you stay away from home for your job/employment.... but they would not otherwise....

Wake to the real world!!!

1 Like

Ambika (NA)     03 February 2011

A suspicious husband : reminds me of Othello! 

Good working women's hostel is one answer when she is in a job....

Not all the cases are as bleak as you have projected sir...though it is difficult especially for a woman...

Yes, reconciliation by all means...

Mostly relatives are of not much help..there will be in house politics form both families....one has to take risks in life and this is one of them..either live with a suspicious husband or try  or get away from him..

Suspicion cannot be cured so easily.....

valentine thakkar (advocate)     04 February 2011

Remove the object and cause of suspicion. Suspicion is cruelty, which is a good ground for divorce but this alone will not help unless the husband is ready. Of course it is difficult to live happily under this situation, but it is a flimsy ground. This kind of malady can be cured with the passage of time and divorce in such situation is an extreme step. Please thinks thousand times before you initiate the proceedings. Even after D life won't b a bed of roses. Although various organisations promote and encourage single living and talk about emancipation of women, but only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches. So be very very careful and cautious. From the correspondence, it seems you are still not well-equipped to live as a divorcee. Remember our society still attach a stigma to D and it is still not ready to accept it easily. Life is short. Find out other avenues of happiness remaining within the unhappy marriage.

Ambika (NA)     04 February 2011

Remaining in the shadows of suspicion?

Happiness in Unhappy marriage? Who wants happiness...but one wants that one does not have to face everyday stigma on her character.....impacting work and personal life both...

Ambika (NA)     04 February 2011

Exactly this is the underpinning when a man offers the gift of divorce to wife ( I am not talking about genuine cases from men) that a woman would not be able to live in a society full of wolves, so let me make divorce an ultimate weapon to break her to pieces. But then women are resiliant ( spelling?) too, so one has to come out of this vicious circle of living in indignity and reinforcing living happily in an unhappy marriage! There is something else which may not be called happiness but is called peace  and a sense of dignity....


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