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Want to get divorce.Please help me out

Page no : 2

Ambika (NA)     04 February 2011

Yes remove the cause and object of suspecious

Remove your boss if he is a male

Remove your co workers if they are males

Remove all male doctors you are consulting for medical problems

Remove your male cousins

Remove your BILs if they have good relations with you

Remove male Dhobis who come to your place , may come to your place

Remove all men walking on the streets

Remove male servants if you have any

Finally remove your thinking mind because even if you empty your house of any males, your brain would be object and cause of suspicion: you may think of someone vicariously na? 




Ambika (NA)     04 February 2011

* even if you empty your house, the streets you walk on , the offices, the markets, the entire city of all males, nay the entire world of all males, your thinking mind would be the cause and object of suspicion....

Ambika (NA)     04 February 2011

Yes life is short --is it that short I doubt---

Even if we agree life is short, is this the reason that it has to be spent under the shadows of suspicion? Suspicion has its accompnying  syndrome: 

If unchecked , it results in the worst sort of actions like locking the spouse in the house, spying each and every movement of her, reading meaning in the way she talks or smiles or remain silent with male members, making her life hell in bed, to reassert his dominance asking wife to do perform undignified actions, beating and battering. 

Go to a good psychologist. He will not come with you, they normally do not. They call psychologist bullsh*t.

Consult him/her. Tell him/her the the specific actions of your husband, and beware...

In the name of love, you may be asked to cut off your relations from the outside world--depends on the stage of a suspicious mind

Never break away from network of your friends and relations,, keep everyone informed what is happening in your life, maintain a personal journal and keep it password protected.

Your major responsibility is to make yourself safe.....

No one is encouraging you to divorce without exhausting all means  but set a time target for it. 

Believe in your intuition....yes believe them...

Jamai Of Law (propra)     04 February 2011

"File fo RCR & get the decree" ............................................ is an incomplete info by Mr. Mallik Karra



The decree holder has to apply for execution of decree if decree holder does move on that front it is understood that he himself abandoned the claim of RCR....there is difference between abandonement and noncompliance of decree in 1 year period!!!....



one can't take advatage of one's own wrongs...to create any legal ground for divorce!!! by any means....



Any Provisions or amendments can't abrogate equitable provisions as 'One can't take advantage of one's own wrongs'.



Even inserting IRBM amendments side by side along with section 5 annulment provisions in sec 21a and sec 23 of HMA 1955 are absolutely and utterly unconstitutional ......... it's a legitimisation of unilateral self centric decision and goes against the 'principles of natural justice' and the opposite party is left remedyless.


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Mallik Karra (Done with AIBE)     04 February 2011

The decree holder has to apply for execution of decree if decree holder does move on that front it is understood that he himself abandoned the claim of RCR - but not mandatory 

is difference between abandonement and noncompliance of decree - agreed, 


one can't take advatage of one's own wrongs...to create any legal ground for divorce!!! by any means.... beg to differ. pls go thru the citation........



1 Like

Ambika (NA)     04 February 2011

Good judgement to make things clear on this particular point...

valentine thakkar (advocate)     04 February 2011

Dar Ambika 

When I said remove the object or cause of suspicion I meant it in singular and not the whole universe or streets, offices, hospitals etc. when males are present. A husband cannot suspect all male to have affair with his wife. Again when the doubt is not genuine, it can be sorted out by many other means than divorce. Marriages are not made for divorce. However, in some extremely rare cases where living together is impossible, this weapon should be used. My suggestion is that even after divorce, there is no guarantee of happiness which the wife is seeking. Humiliation, stigma, harassment, loneliness, lustful eyes etc. etc. cannot be ruled out even after divorce.

Ambika (NA)     04 February 2011

so? She has to choose between two harassments....! 

A suspicious husband sir does not suspect relationship only with one male...

suspicion is a very lethal weapon...

and I think instead of encouraging women to put up with the nonsense, we need to guide them how they can make their existence safe in side or the outside world...

Ask any psychologist sir, if suspicion stops with the removal of object of suspicious...it spreads  and transposes itself on other hundred object...suspicion pre supposes a woman is available ....his wife is available , with no character of her own...

I beg to differ from you here ....I am not a family breaker..but I do not support a humiliated and dead life within the walls of the homes also...

I do not think this woman is alone..she must be having her own family somewhere...that is why I wrote reconciliation by all means and suggested a visit to the psychologist , she may also join some support group and explore safe places where she can reside while she continues to work...and look forward to a better life. .



valentine thakkar (advocate)     05 February 2011

Dear Madam

In a married life one cannot expect standard expressions and 'no objections'. In the final analysis any successful marriage is a story of submission, tolerance, humility, connivance at the faults of the other partner etc. the list go on and on. If U r a Hindu, recollect the Saptpadi. Of course, it applies to both the partners. But women are made differently. I do not advocate that they should be humiliated or looked down, but I firmly believe that suspicion can be removed and divorce is not the only solution. Many female clients come to me to take divorce or seek separation on flimsy ground. Perhaps they are not well-trained in matrimonial life or winners and pitfalls of marital life. In everyone's life there are highs and lows, hills and valleys. One cannot expect smooth running always. It is an art to remove and over the obstacles that come in the way whily journeying through the wedded life.

1 Like

Ambika (NA)     05 February 2011

Dear Valentine Sir,

We do differ , but I also do agree with you that divorces on flimsy grounds need not be saught and encouraged. I do appreciate your experience of advising your clients rather than pushing into the divorce process without exploring the avenues of sorting out the problems. I also agree that there are no standardised this is right and this is wrong approach. Perhaps we are on different pages for some issues, but I sincerely thank you for spending your time in responding to what I have written. 

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