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Singha Rao (Engineer)     22 July 2012

Untrusted wife

This is the repetition of my earlier message,please advice me:

After marriage, I found some unusual behaviour from my wife.. and I found that she is spending more money over phone in my absence..Day by day my doubt increased..

One day I put a recorder and found some unusual taking which I am giving here..After that also I asked her indirectly not to keep in touch with some out sider.. and better to keep healthy relationship with our family member..

But she say silent..

In her conversion, I am giving detail here..So on that basis whatcan I rise in front of law?

1.

b/f: How he(me) is giving,

she: Good..

b/f: Now still he is doing "gienre gienre" telling some thing in un happy ?

she: Heh..why you are asking such things..

B/f: I am asking truth, what problem with you? Now you can understand or still showing unwilling to him?

she: heh..please change the topics..

2.

b/f: suddenly say: before fews days I remebered you too much..(twice repeated) ..such that if I might have his (my) phone number, then I might asked him (to me)..what ever he(me) want I am ready to pay or can give what ever I demand, but please return her (my wife) to me (her b/f)..

she: please don't say any thing?

b/f: why what's wrong? I am telling truth noly..and again repeated that above sentence..

she: You are telling in (majak me) ...if you will tellin Majake me? then I will be in trouble!!

b/f: why who is hearing our voice, we both are talking, so no chance to hear any body ringt?

she: I don't know if some where it will get recorded then I will be in great problem? (In that voice she got shocked)

b/f: How it will bepossible that our voice will get recorded?

she: it may be possible and if get recorded then I willbe in trouble..

b/f: I am telling truth, so what wrong? again repeated ( the same argement)as such that if I might have his (my) phone number, then I might asked him to return you mentally (to me)..what ever he(me) want I am ready to pay or can give what ever I demand, but please return her (my wife) to me (her b/f).. and lough..

she: no no .. he is a tension person.. some time in small small thing he get angry..

b/f: you may know him better..

then some usual thing...

 

AFter 4hat also I aksed her indirectly many time, better to stop if some thing in our mind which was from before marigae.. and we have to start a healthy relation ship..

after oneweek also again in my absence she used to call to that guy again ( that record I don't have, but I shaw from dialled list)

After that I called to her b/f and told why you did such thing, as she is already marrieg.. he also argued that please ask her what is in her mind? Plz don't ask me.. I have many girl friend, so what wrong.. then I asked his whay you tell such things to my wife (Now she is for me)..

e0D Then I raised that matter to her parent's then they supported her and they say that I am keepting doubt to their daughter..and they took to their daughter and rising small small issue and not willing to come to my home(since last 6 month she is away from me)..even now she clearly say that she want to do job some where at her wish..and searching with out my knowledge, which is supporting her parent's as well..she don't want to do job near to my working place..

My question?

In this situation to me future is not safe for me..I know she will not give me murual divorce, their intension is to harash me..

I Know she don't want our relaltion but she want to harash me..

If I will file divorse and she will contest then it will be drag unnecessary?

She is telling that it is not necessary to stay together, we have to see our career as well..

In such case is it safe to file a RCR or on that basis can I file dovorse directly? Is that points are sufficient ground for me to file divorce from my side?

if I will file RCR, and it won't work then after how long I can file file for divorce..


in addition to that can I say this thing is under "adultary".. or adultary means there should be direct involvement in s*x only?

I hope this thingI can raise as deviatng from conjugal ralation, in front of court?

Please suggest me in this regard..



Learning

 4 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     22 July 2012

1. The favorite national obsession of husbands is replicated here; Adultery of their wife to be caught on National TV and nothing below that! Even if a wife talks in friendly manner daily to milkman that is adultery bze somehow by a spycam at door husband “caught it”! Women have controlled playful nature in general like Ganga when she entered earth remember that mythological myth” respect that otherwise daily marital life becomes dull. Don't tell us that you don’t tap on shoulders of a young female colleague of yours in office in friendly manner or do you touch her feet when that great male urge to do so pops to you ?


2. The alleged transcriptt does not show "inclination to put herself in vulnerable positions" which is basic ingredient for Adultery of a wife. Moreover she cannot be prosecuted and her b/f can be. But the moment such adventure is done by you it will lead to divorce and possible criminal law usage by her / her side as society has to be explained why Sita was sent to Vanavasa.


3.
Get over from such obsession and instead provide her "security" and or "sense of belongingness" with giving her own 'space" - 'time" and "independence to keep her occupied with a job"  two income now-a-days is better than single feeder.


4.
By talking to a male friend how your conjugal relations are getting affected via above brief I cannot say bze to me it is obsession of a married male to claim his property 100% is showing nothing else. But still if you like to play with your fingers (read as pockets) in Court then go ahead appoint an advocate and do the needful.

All the best.
PS: You here is generic

Singha Rao (Engineer)     22 July 2012

dear TajobIndia,

  I am really very much appreciated your valuable suggestion.. even I found that you are the one active member in LCI and I like your almost all suggestion..

  In my case, problem is that she don't want to say sorry, after doing this.. even she argue and her parent's also telling in favor of their daughter (what's wrong in that conversasion).. Furthermore, as right now I am finishing my doctoral study from abroad and Ex-IITan.. my wife's impresion that I will get good position and if some thing will happen then I will get good money as alimony..

 Even now she asked me to return her certificates and planning to do job at India and telling me that it isnotnecessary to stay together..I want to do job at India, you go in your way, even she quarell with my sister inlaw and mother and left her home since last 6 month.. even all these her parent's also supporting her..

 In this case is she will not get change better get out from that RID and start new life..

 Can you suggest me in this ground should I go for direct divorse or to save allimony, first I should go for RCR?

Please please suggest me in this regard..

 

 

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     22 July 2012

Not re-quoting your second query but filling it as;


1
. I understood your catch 22 situation which is expected and normal in such briefs.
2. The problem in your thinking is that you are not able to understand the long term gravity of gender bias laws that she may use in future the moment little tweaking in marital life is not done mostly by you.
3. A woman once gets educated should be allowed to enjoy her empowerment otherwise today she will not be called educated by the society that she keeps. So give her those benefits as inevitable.
4. With your RCR she gets emancipated (cause to) use gender laws to regain her lost social grounds before society as the only abala who was not allowed to talk to her b/f do her own career building living away from her husband etc etc will be covered up trickily into template complaint cases and then you will run to boundaries for catching the sixer. Just wait collect evidences via any sort of medias that you can improvise and let her do the inevitable then use those evidences against her moves.
5. Legally you have no rights to keep her Certificates with you, nor her stridhan items. You are just its trustee as and when its demand arise immediately return them with receiving collected via any media that you feel comfortable to catch such returning acts as future proof.
6. Softly show her the advantages of a harmonious marital life and the moment she does not understand them you have almost no legal option to bind her into it. It leads eventually to divorce. Alimony can only be saved if adultery is proved and to prove adultery you have not much reliable evidences is my view to your two posts.


Since you are a Dr. (PhD) re-read above and sooner you will understand the gravity you are slowly getting trapped into the better otherwise lawyers are there for chamber discussions as and when situation develops.


 

Singha Rao (Engineer)     22 July 2012

Dear Tajobs India,

  Thank you very muchfor your valuable suggestion.. Even now I am thinking both postive and negative aspect of the future sinario, if any thing goes wrong..

  On the otherside, when it is not at all possible to caryon my future with this situation, at that time I am thinking better to fight and get enjoy being a single. on the same time lot of huddles with money also cannot be avoided in suchsituation, that also coming to mind..

 So I need some time, to observe before taking any attempt...So I used to read a lot of article related my case and abserving how things move..

Thank you once agiain dear Taj..God bless you..


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