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Ruchika Anand (HR)     18 December 2012

Under going pain from 1 years

Dear Lawyers,

I have concern please provide me solution 4 dis and guide me what should i do further for my problem.This is the reason why i am here.
I am MBA graduate from and having 3 years of experience. My marriage got fixed on Nov,2011 with a guy. I was been told that the boy is full fledged MBA , having booked 3 BHK Flat , earning so & so. And every thing was going fine. The whole marriage was conducted by us at a 5 Star hotel and we openly asked the boys side if they have any demands as such but they refused that they dont want anything from us. Still we were conducting a lavish wedding. 10 days before marriage we started smelling that something was not right in boy or with his family. As his mother started demanding this or that and father was not happy with whatever we were doing for them. Even the boy called 2 twice i felt he was overly drunk and was not in his senses.
But we took it lightly and ignored thinking that we are taking this too seriously.
But on the day of marriage they actually showed their true colors and made commotion and spoiled the mood of marriage completely. As they expected us to give the car and other things in jewellary . My parents and i was very upset. I even felt like committing suicide on that day but nothing could be done on the day of marriage so some how i convinced myself that now i have to take responsibility of making situations good. and after marriage i adjusted and tried to make things good my way but still my husband , in laws and his sister and father in law was very abusive in nature and it was hard to make them feel good.
No matter i cook food , keep house clean etc etc but all in vain.
After marriage i came to know that my husband is not an MBA nor does his salary is so & so LPA nor does he has booked any flat. I felt i was been cheated my dreams of having a successful and comfortable life were shattered. I wanted to inform my parents but i was scared that they have spend 25 lakh on my marriage and now ill be giving them another shock of life. So i kept mum but i was not in a position to forgive my husband and was a little cold towards him.
He started abusing me and used to hit be hard every now and then very hard over little issues at home. He used to threaten me with knife , opening gas and matchbox and pushing me from 3rd floor of our house. He also used to force me to drink and smoke and was under an influence of bad company of friends who encourage him for all wrong doings.
He had a very hysteric nature and used to drink and smoke a lot and when i shared all this with his parents they did not supported me. Then i was forced to inform my parents about this and they shared their dear daughter's concern with my in laws but did not received a consoled reply.
Then one day over a heated argument he chocked my throat and tried to kill me.Some how i begged and made him calm.then my parents ran to me to settle the matter.
In the mean while his mother kept my complete gold jewellary in her custody saying i dont have a bank locker in Delhi so unless i take a bank locker she wont give it to me. On number of arguments on this matter my husband never took a bank locker in Delhi and continued to postpone the idea to having a bank locker. And my jewellary was kept with mother in law. Also he used to cut short the kitcken expenses a lot and always to used to decide over menu and other decisions at home. He never maintained me financially at all. I never used to have more that 300 rs with me at home and used to beg him for money if i have to go some where.
Before marriage my in-laws said that whether you want to work or not its your choice in life. So i thought that i have been working till date then after marriage why should i not take 2-3 months and enjoy my married life then think of having a job.
But immediately after marriage they forced me to take up a job within 2 weeks. They were putting lot of pressure over me and my parents for finances and kept all my gold assets with them and parents never had any solution for their sons bad behavior with me.
Then my parents took up decision to talk to his parents but all in vain.
Now the case is in court and i am with my parents and its almost a year that we are fighting for our rights.
I am so frustrated and depressed because i thought i am stepping in a new era of life and have a promising future ahead.but now i am fighting case from 1 year.

There are 2 things i came to know while police was doing investigation to prepare chargesheet 7 months back.That before i got married to him the same was repreated with another girl in his life who 5 days before the marriage took up decision of cancelling the marriage with him.The charhesheet is already against him and prooves that he is the culprit.

But every time the court grants him a jail his lawyer takes a stay order from court and unecessarily wasting courts and our time.

Here i want to know that will i get justice ever and this guy will be punished for his deeds.

and secondly and most importantly can i approach or take help of media and bring my case in light so that it gets fast tracked.

Please advice me genuinely and my life has become a hell. From past 1 year i have not slept properly, not eaten properly , never go out of my house , disconnected from all my friends , and dont feel like getting involve in anything. My only aim in life is to get justice. I will not be able to move forward without getting justice.

I dont want him to spoil any girls life again. Some one has to take up stant so i took up a stand to get him punish through law. Please advice if i can take help of media.




 7 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     18 December 2012

Originally posted by : Ruchika Anand
  XXX 10 days before marriage we started smelling that something was not right in boy or with his family.  

The CS is just 7 months old. Wait for nearly 1 more year to be over by then he may get convicted. The world is all yours bowing at your feet, use social media, use Celebrities, use talk shows, and conduct candle light walks at India Gate.

But away from all above my only limited one question to you is; if you knew just 10 days before marriage as you say in your brief about the dark side of would be FAMILY what being educated and capacity to spend 25 L on marriage stopped you not to go ahead with the marriage?

You may choose not to reply which I can understand as I respect empowered ladies living 7 kms. radius of JNU now-a-days.   

1 Like

Ruchika Anand (HR)     18 December 2012

Dear sir,

We smelled 10 days before but not took it too seriously and they were not demanding anything big.But they were demanding. I raised this issue with my parents but i was not too sure even they were not. My parents said that all this is petty dont get involeved in these issues.I am simply taking things over board. And alas they convinced me for some while but still i was scared and i was not in a position to trust them.

My only mistake was yes i admit i made biggest mistake to marrying this guy and took it lightly. I would had been bold enough and cancel everything. Only thing i was not able to gather courage 10 days before marriage when most of my relatives already here,I did not took a stand. That is why i punish myself every day and regret the day of my marriage.

One more information i would reveal here is the day when marriage was fixed , boys end did not gave us time enough to think anything. They simply fixed the date of marriage quikly and started preparing for it.

At that point also i raised issue like let me spend some time with him before going any further. But no 1 listen to me every one was too happy. 

Yes i admit that being in 21st century and being self dependent . i simply succumb to my parents decision and did not took my stand strongly and boldly. I would have.

But seriously sir Boys end is very smart enough, They create a good picture , they are tactful and they are very manipulative also. Its hard to beleive on one self in there presence. One will easily start doubting own self confidence.

I doubted my self and always thought i am taking things over board. I even discussed this issue with the boy but he could easily convince me making false promises about future and rather having trust on my intutuion i trusted him.

I was in dilemma throught.." if i am doing right or not , no i am going ahead in wrong direction , stop , ok  move , ok let it be , no stop , no he is good , no he is not , no they are greedy , no they are not " i kept on pondering. And the time came when i took decision half to my relatives were here and marriage functions were starting after 2 days. My parents did not supported , all cards were distributed , bookings were done and non refundible ,Some istridhan was also send to him home etc etc.

I was not in a position to take up a stand. The irony is we live in society and it is difficult for a girl to come out and say it out loud That i dont want to take this relationship any further. that too when no one is supporting.

I was suppressed and yes due to which i am regretting till date.

Ruchika Anand (HR)     18 December 2012

Yes sir what ever you mentioned is already filed in FIR.And charge sheet is already prepared 7 months back. But everytime they do some notorious activity in court and gets stay order further. He and his lawyer are trying to defame my character in court and when court asked they did not had any proofs.Against that we send some counter reply and now they have to submit rejoinder and the time given was 2 weeks and they unecessrily lingering on till today.

I am keeping my patience at my best but some time after seeing the court slow procedure i get disturbed thinking will he ever be punished or not.

I am also worried for my future. If this case takes away good days of my life i will be left with none.

Shivendra Nath Tripathi (Dental Surgeon Orthodontist Hospital Adm)     18 December 2012

Have you got medical of your husband done?

He might be suffering from Schizophrenia,is a mental disorder characterized by a breakdown of thought processes and by poor emotional responsiveness. Common symptoms include auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking, and it is accompanied by significant social or occupational dysfunction.


I had a similar known friend, whose husband was voilent and unpredictable, he was diagnosed with having Schizophrenia.

Ruchika Anand (HR)     18 December 2012

I think you are right.

Such people will sit for hours by you and not talking , will call you but never express , have tremendous suspicious atitude , always insecure that their partner will leave him , is very over posessive sought of and interfers into every relation be it mothers and daughters relation also.

Its a mental disorder , everything needs to secreated in human body be it swet or emotions.

If one dosent able to organize his thinking or express it properly , find short cuts in life , and is not loyal to one own self. then he has a violent behaviour . and thinks he can control the other person not through love or trust but through authority or power. and also surrenders to alcohol and other addictions in life.

These people never feel or think they are mad or they need a treatment. So if you talk to them about it they will again get violent.

More over my marriage only lasted for 1 month and he was such that my life security was more important for my parents than his mental treatment.

Even his parents were not supportive at all....in such cases if guys parents are careless and dosent bother and not take any responsibility , nor stay with their son permanently. then its difficult for a girl to survive in the house all alone with a phyco.

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